Disclaimer: Everything belongs to its rightful owners
Warning, this is a sequel and won't be understood unless you read the first story, The Soldier and the Nurse, which you can find on my profile.
"What happened in the past that was painful has a great deal to do with what we are today."
William Glasser
Chapter One
Captain America's alive.
Those words hadn't sounded real to her when Fury had said them to her, and even now, standing over Steve's unconscious body, faced with unrefutable evidence, she still found herself in disbelief. Steve looked just as he had seventy years ago, as did she, but she had changed in many ways over the decades.
"How's the room look?" Asked Fury
"Realistic" she muttered, "Except for the radio"
"What do you mean?" He asked
"That game was before Steve went under, I remember going to it, it's not something he'll miss" she explained, "A fact I'm sure you didn't overlook. So, is it some sort of test?"
"Of sorts" said Fury, "He's been gone a long time, I want to see if he's still the same man"
"You want to see if he's still as powerful as he was" she said disdainfully
"Do you not agree?" He asked
"Since when did you care if I agreed to something" she stated bitterly, her arms folded over her chest,
"Can I count on you to assist in introducing him to the world?" Asked Fury
"For him, not for you" she said
"I understand" he said, "I'll give you a minute"
Clara sat down on the edge of the bed, her hand reaching out to take Steve's. He was really there. Seeing him again was like being reminded of a past life, of the person she used to be. That past life was almost like a previous identity, one she had shed I'm favour of another, then another, before she became unsure about her true identity. For a long time, she didn't know who she was, where she belonged. But she found herself again, and she was happy for long time. She had a husband, children, a job, a normal life. But now, even that seemed like a dream.
She couldn't do it. Couldn't sit by him, look at him, see him there. Be reminded of her old life, of everything she'd loved and lost. No, she wasn't strong enough, so she left, and despite Fury's attempts, she did not return. She couldn't. She just couldn't.
The training facilities at SHIELD were some of the best in the world, far greater then the one's in which she'd been trained. She found them to be very useful when she needed to let off some stem.
"Go" called out the instructor, and the agent advanced on her
He took the first swing, which she dodged, before delivering one of her own. He tried to punch her in the stomach, but she grabbed his arm, and kicked him in his side, causing him to stagger. She then stretched her leg out to kick him in the face, knocking him unconscious.
"Would anyone else like to face Agent Howard?" the instructor asked the remaining agents, the rest having already faced her were all nursing their injuries. The agents eyed both women, knowing that to face Clara would risk injury, but to not do so would disappoint their instructor "No, didn't think so" she said, before turning to Clara, "Always a pleasure to have you"
"Always a pleasure to be here" replied Clara, grabbing her bag from the corner, heading out towards the changing rooms
She was quick to shower and change, even though she didn't want to go home, doing things fast and efficiently was a habit of hers.
"You know, some would consider spying to be rude" she said, as she exited the changing rooms, Fury standing just outside,
"You know, if you keep injuring the agents we may not have any left" he told her,
"Better I do it then someone else" she shrugged, "Why are you here? What's happened?"
"He's woken up" said Fury, "I've told him about you, the basics at least, thought you could fill the rest in. Unless you don't want to speak to him"
"I do want to, it's just" she said, "I mean, I don't know how he'll react to me. For him the last time we spoke was days ago, a lot has changed for me"
"I'm bringing him to your apartment tomorrow" said Fury, "That'll give you some time to plan what you'll tell him, and what you won't"
"Is that a warning?" She asked him
"A suggestion" corrected Fury, "We both know Steve won't be exactly understanding about certain parts of your past. It's best for everyone if you don't tell him everything"
"You know I hate it when you're right" she mumbled, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow"
Even after a full day of planning, Clara was still unsure about what she was going to say to Steve. She was unsure about how either of them would react. Steve had already woken up seventy years into the future, being greeted with the knowledge that most of his loved ones were dead, and that the world had changed perpetually from the one he'd known, and in many ways, it was not for the best. How would he react when he saw her? She wasn't the girl he knew, a fact he would soon realise. How would he deal with that? How could he?
So it was with much trepidation that Clara awaited Steve's arrival. At first she had sat on the couch, but she was too nervous for that, so she had taken up pacing around the apartment. Everything was spotless so she couldn't occupy herself with cleaning, she'd already spent most of the night up making sure the apartment was in pristine condition. She knew that Steve wouldn't care about the state of her apartment, but it provided her with a decent enough distraction.
She kept running different scenarios through her head, each one more absurd than the previous. She had even gotten her previously long hair cut to shoulder length, styling it in a way similar to what he would remember, and she was glad that she had long ago shed her dark locks to return to her natural colour.
She was deep in her thoughts that the sound of the doorbell caused her to jump. She rushed over to it, taking a minute to pause, regaining herself, before opening it.
Steve's eyes widened at the sight of her, and Clara swore he would go into shock. Although Fury had already told him what to expect, Clara knew that hearing about something was different then seeing it yourself.
"Steve, uh, do you want to come inside?" She asked, and Steve nodded, stepping inside her apartment
"Call me when you're done" said Fury, giving her an encouraging look, before closing the door
"Uh, take a seat" she said nervously, gesturing to the couch, "I've already made the coffee, I remember how you take it" she rambled, putting the two coffee mugs onto the coffee table, "You must have a lot of questions, do you want to start?"
"How do you still look..."
"Young even though I took the scenic route through seventy years" she finished, "Well, in 1951, I was on assignment for SHIELD, and I was captured" she told him, "I don't remember much, but whatever they did to me, caused me to develop...abilities, one of them being agelessness"
The story wasn't a complete lie, just missing some of the facts. Such as the event that had spurred her into going on assignment. She hadn't blamed Howard for their daughters death, and not had he blamed her, but she had found it too difficult to be around him. Not to mention the exaggeration of her memory loss, although, that had been a lie she had maintained for many years. There were many lies she had told about the particular incident, secrets she had kept. She had never told anyone about the miscarriage the experimentation had induced, not even Howard.
"One of them" he said, "What others do you have?"
"Telekenises and mild telepathy" she explained, "I'll just show you, it'll be easier"
Clara reached out her hand, splaying out her fingers, causing the coffee mug to lift into the air. She grinned as she watched the amazement on his face, he took the mug from the air, and Clara let go of it.
"And I can do much more than that" she said, picking up her own mug, drinking almost half the cup on one mouthful
"Did you use your powers for SHIELD?" He asked, and Clara instantly moved her gaze from him to the mug
"I worked for them on and off over the years, along with other government agencies" she said, "I retired from SHIELD in the late 70's, joining again in the 80's but not in active role"
"Why did you retire?" He asked
"I got married and had kids" she said, causing Steve to raise his eyebrows, "Here, I'll get pictures"
Anticipating the need of pictures, Clara had already gotten out her pile of photographs from her wardrobe. The majority of her photographs were kept at her childhood home, where she as well had raised her children during much of their childhood before their move to Washington, and another pile was at the apartment she'd since bought in Washington. She grabbed the pile from her kitchen table, and sat them down on the coffee table. She took the picture from the top of the pile, handing it to Steve.
"This is from our family trip to Niagara Falls in 88'" she said,
"Is that your husband?" Asked Steve, pointing the brown haired man standing next to her, holding a young boy in his arms
"That's Charlie" she said, "He's holding Thomas, he was five, Tessa's next to him, she was seven, and Will's with me, he was ten"
"You have a beautiful family" said Steve, "Where are they now?"
"Uh, Charlie died, in 95', heart attack" she explained, "Guess that's what happens when you eat too many burgers"
"I'm sorry" he said, and Clara knew that it was a genuine sentiment
"It's okay" she said, clearing her throat, "But my children, Will is an agent for the CIA, Thomas lives in London, and Tessa is a teacher. I have grandchildren actually, Tessa has three children, a girl and two boys"
"Sounds like you had a good life" he said
"I did" she said, "But you might rethink that when you see the hair I had when Thomas was born. Personally, I think I rocked the 80's hair, but my daughter sincerely disagrees"
Steve frowned, not understanding the humour behind her words. Clara drank the rest of her coffee, trying to ignore the tension, a difficult feat indeed.
"What's this?" He asked, picking up the photograph of Clara, Howard and Lizzie at the park from the pile
"That's uh, Howard and our daughter" she explained, placing the mug back on the table, her fingers tapping against her thighs
"When did you and Howard happen?" He asked
"We got married January of 48', Lizzie was born that July" she explained
"Why didn't you mention them?" He asked
"She died, and we divorced" she told him, getting up from the couch, grabbing her empty coffee mug "Not exactly memories I want to relive"
"I'm sorry, I didn't know" he said
"I know, I'm sorry, it's not your fault" she said, leaning her hands against the sink, "How could you know. It's just...it's hard, going through all of this again"
"I understand" he said, "You don't have to continue"
"No, I'm basically finished anyway" she muttered
"Seventy years and that's all that happened?" He asked
"Pretty much" she said, leaving out the part where much of the other events were not things she would willingly divulge to Steve. She had a murky past that she was sure Steve would not cope well with.
"So, you work for SHIELD now" he said, "What do you do?"
"Lots of stuff" she shrugged nonchalantly
"Like what?" He inquired further
"Like stuff I can't tell you because it's classified" she said, "On a need-to-know basis"
"And I don't need to know?" He asked, eyebrows raised
"I don't get to decide who needs to know" she countered, "It's not my call"
Steve didn't respond, looking down awkwardly at his hands. She instantly regretted her harshness. Steve didn't deserve her anger, it wasn't meant to be directed at him, but he got the brunt of it. Usually, she would excel at dealing with her anger in healthy ways. A person can develop a lot of anger over seventy years, you'd have to find an outlet otherwise it would consume you.
But seeing Steve again. It drudged up old memories, inflicting painful feelings. Hurt, regret, anger, grief. She'd lost Steve once, and now he was back. How did someone deal with their friend coming back from the dead? Especially when said person was the best friend of your deceased husband,
"I'm sorry, you don't deserve that" she said, sniffing her nose, "I shouldn't get angry, none of this is your fault. I'm not angry with you, I'm just...angry. I'm sorry"
"It's okay" he assured her, but his voice was weak
"So, uh, has Fury told you what's going to happen? About you going to the Retreat?" She asked, and Steve nodded, "You'll like it there" she promised him, retaking her seat on the couch, "It's a lovely spot, and I can visit, if you want"
"Okay"
But despite their words, Clara never did go visit Steve. He didn't ask her to, and she couldn't bring herself to ignore his silence and show up anyway. If he wanted to see her he'd ask. And until then, she'd give him the distance she needed. She wanted to see him, but she didn't. She wanted to help him, but she didn't want the pain that came along with being around him. It was too much for her. Pain wasn't new to her, nor was the regret, shame, and grief she felt everytime she even thought of Steve now. It wasn't fair on either of them. But life wasn't fair. And that was a lesson she'd learnt the hard way.
There were many things that irked Clara to no end. Messy rooms, bird poo on your freshly washed car, and day-time soup operas being a few. But there was nothing she hated more than being lied to, or deceived, or manipulated in anyway.
"I heard that you were assembling the Avengers" said Clara, walking up to Fury, who stood in front of the controls of the helicarrier. She'd been moved to the helicarrier immediately after Loki's arrival and the destruction of the SHIELD facility.
"And where did you hear that?" Asked Fury
"People" she shrugged, "So, were you going to tell me?" She asked, "Or was I going to find out when they all arrived?"
"I was going to tell you" he said
"Then why didn't you, why didn't I know, Nick" she spat, "You know I don't appreciate lies"
"I didn't lie" he defended
"Well you didn't tell the truth either, and we both know that that's basically lying" she said, "I'm sick of you hiding things, you don't need to test my loyalty. You can trust me, Nick"
"I know" he said,
"Then why don't you?" She asked, folding her arms over her chest, "I understand why you didn't tell me about SHIELD studying the Tesseract, I wouldn't have agreed, still don't, even if the plan was clean energy. Plus, then I'd get the chance to say I told you so, and I now how much you hate hearing that. But you need to start sharing things with me"
"Now, are you getting all of them?" She asked, "Stark? Banner?"
"Afraid that your past is coming back to haunt you?"
"Why would I be?" She asked, sarcastically, "I was only married to Tony's father, and spent a good amount of time tracking Banner around the world. What would I have to be worried about?"
"You should go and speak to Natasha" suggested Fury, ignoring her comments
"Why?" She asked, raising her eyebrow at him
"Just do it"
Clara bit her cheek, tightening her jaw, before folding her arms over her chest. She eyed Fury, turning her back on him, stalking off in search of Natasha.
"Fury said I needed to talk to you" said Clara, walking up to Natasha, her arms still folded, "Is there something you need to tell me? Or is the old man going senile?"
"Loki's got Clint"
"What?" She asked, unfolding her arms, her eyes widening, "How?"
"Loki used his sceptor to put him under some sort of mind control" Natasha explained
Her thoughts turned to her close friend. She had known Clint for over a decade, had been the one to introduce him to SHIELD, and now he'd been taken. If global destruction wasn't enough of an instigator for her, then the brainwashing of one of her closest friends had to be.
"And what's the plan to get him back?"
"Catch Loki" said Natasha
"Easier said then done" she muttered, "This is gonna get messy"
"That's just how I like it" said Natasha, a small smirk on her face
"Don't we both"
So there it is, hope you all enjoyed it. It's a lot to take in, but please tell me what you think, and any predictions you may have.