DISCLAIMER: I don't own "Heroes", Sylar, or any of the other characters, actors/actresses, and/or other random celebrity bloggers mentioned in this fic. Thank you.

A/N: Ok, just a little idea a co-worker and I had joked about and the fic developed in conversation with bratmerrill16. We lol'd a lot and I hope you will too :) R&R, please!

Editted A/N: Ok, I know I said it was a one-shot, but I've changed my mind. Oh, and I fixed it to turn "Candace" into "Candice" because I realized I'd been spelling it wrong :S

"What Makes You Tick?

(An Unusual Profiling of Gabriel Sylar)"

A "Heroes" Fic by L'Ange de Vrai

"I recognize you from somewhere," the brunette girl at the bar said to the man sitting next to her. "I mean, you look really familiar..."

He laughed lightly before answering, "I must have one of those faces."

She sat back and examined him over her martini glass. "No, you don't, Sylar."

He furrowed his bushy eyebrows at her. "Sylar? Sorry, my name is Gabriel."

"I'm Candice, Candice Wilmer." she replied, shaking his hand. "Wanna go back to my place? Or yours?"

Now, there was a time when he would have considered more than the obvious option - He knew her name from Suresh's list, knew that she had an ability, but repressed the urge to slice her skull open right then and there. He was actually considering leading her back to his place, and not to kill her...

"Well? What's it gonna be?" she asked, temptation lacing her voice.

"My place."

"Did mommy decorate for you?" Candice asked as she stepped into the apartment.

Sylar turned around to retort but was taken aback by what he saw - The plastic covered furniture had been replaced by sleek leather sofas, there was a flat screen TV on the wall, and the books that littered the shelves all around the house had been replaced by stereos, DVDs, and memorabilia alike.

"That's very interesting," he mused. "I'd love to see how that works, but, well, I've turned over a new leaf."

Candice glared at him, a smile forming at the corners of her lips. "You're not even tempted?"

He laughed. "I'm tempted, all right, just not enough to steal your powers. Besides, I happen to like my apartment just as it is."

"And that is why you never get laid," she stated resolutely. "Your apartment kills it for you."

By this time, Sylar was standing face to face with her. He shouldn't take this, not from her, not in his own home... But for some odd reason he did. He had taken all of his old things out of storage when he gave up his life as Sylar, the hero hunter, and decided to return to normal - Well, semi-normal; he'd kept the look - the look looked good on him.

"So, with this ability, you can make me see whatever I want to see, right?" he asked.

"Anything," she replied, their lips drawing closer together.

He smiled as they almost touched, "So you could turn into anyone?"

Candice drew back. "Well, yeah, I've done it before. Why? Who would you rather kiss than me?"

He thought on it for a moment. "Kirsten Dunst?"

She laughed. "I figured you as more of an Angelina Jolie type, Gray."

"She'd work, too," he laughed as Candice morphed into the actress.

"How's this?" she asked, twirling around in her new look, hands held up for him to examine her.

"Not bad, not bad at all," he said appraisingly.

Before he could say another word, Angelina smiled at him with her full lips and morphed into the horribly stick thin effigy of a scantily clad Paris Hilton. Candice threw her arms around Sylar, who was leaning against the back of his plastic covered sofa.

"Like whatchya see, sexy?" she asked, planting a kiss on his stubbly cheek.

"I'm not into blondes," he replied, going for a kiss before she swept out of his arms.

Paris smiled. "Not even a blonde Kirsten Dunst?"

"Blonde Kirsten was hot, but she made an awesome redhead..." He told Kirsten, who stood in the middle of his living room in a brown t-shirt, jeans, flip flops, and a knit red, floppy beret. "Besides, Elizabethtown was like the lamest movie ever."

She laughed. "That's why the DVD isn't in its case?"

Sylar narrowed his eyes at her. "You broke into my apartment?"

"What can I say? I'm a bad girl at heart," Candice replied with a smirk, morphing back into herself. "Got any vodka in here, Sy?"

"You owe me big time," he joked, cornering her in the kitchen. "You broke into my apartment, went through my things, and now you're calling me 'Sy'? Don't expect to get off easy on this one, Wilmer. And no, I don't have any vodka."

She pouted. "Drats. I guess you're going to make it hard then?"

He examined her for a moment. "What do you want, anyway? Do you want me to slice your head open or something? You've read my file, I'm sure you know I'm not like that anymore."

"You can't change who you really are," she countered, following him out of the room. Sylar grabbed her wrist as she reached out for her shoulder, spinning around so that they were face to face once more. "But that's beside the point. I want you. What do I have to do to get you?"

Sylar smiled. "Show me who you'd want to see me as if I had your ability. Don't hold back."

His jaw dropped in what was a mixture of shock and horror, and perhaps a little bit of vomit in the back of his throat has Candice dissolved into Peter Petrelli.

"Him?! Why him?" he asked.

Peter shrugged and melted back into Candice. "He's got cute hair, no thanks to you... Besides, I'm a sucker for a hero."

"My hair's not cute enough for you?" Sylar asked with mock sincerity.

"Nope," she replied, "I like something you can run your fingers through and yours just doesn't cut it."

He grinned. "Another insult, ouch! Payback time - think you could turn into Paris again? That was getting hot..."

Candice smiled maliciously before appearing before him in an entirely different guise. Perez Hilton, complete with blue hair, stood in the middle of the room.

"Paris not Perez! Good Lord, woman! Make it stop!" he shouted, eyes sealed shut and hands outstretched defensively.

Perez melted back into Candice and she closed the gap between them, kissing Sylar as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Why can't you like me for me?"

He looked at her as their lips parted and he thought he'd heard something different in her voice. Sylar fell back against the wall, staring wide eyed and horrified at Claire Bennet. Claire Bennet, indestructible cheerleader, Bennet's daughter, 16...

"Gyah, jail-bait!" he exclaimed "Ew, no! Go away! That's just wrong!"

"Come on, what's one more charge to add to the pile of murders? I bet you still wish I was on that list..." she replied, twirling a long blonde curl around her finger.

He laughed. "I'll admit I've killed people before, but there's no way in hell I'd ever want to sleep with a sixteen year old. Well, I did want to... When I was fifteen, but still... that's besides the point."

Candice/Claire rolled her eyes and resumed her old appearance, complete with short black skirt and button down t-shirt. "Fine, fine, you win. Who do I turn into next, oh great brain-slicing Sylar?"

He smirked. "I'm starting to like you for you, I guess. Think you could just act like Paris this time?"