Basically this all started when I was listening to Dumb Ways to Die. I had already listened to it before, but this time was special because it was where I got this inspiration from. And, legit, I'm listening to it right now as I type this.
So this is how it works: chapter one, equivalent to Set Fire to Your Hair, the first dumb way to die. I choose a main or mostly main demigod/legacy character from HoO, choose some guest stars, and throw the whole thing together. They can take place before, during, or after the war against Gaea.
Disclaimer: I'm not Rick. If I was I'd be preparing for the world's agony of the House of Hades cliffhanger (whatever it may be).
Starring Leo Valdez
Guest Stars of Travis and Jason Grace
Leo was working on the Argo II blueprints when Travis walked in.
"Hello, my fellow demigod," Leo said, turning as he heard him approach. "How may I assist you this fine evening?"
Travis held up a hand, keeping the other in a fist by his side. "I just have a question," he said.
"If it's about girls you've come to the wrong guy," said Leo. "But if you're really desperate…" He patted a nearby chair. "This might take a while."
Travis shook his head. "No, not that," he said. "And just so we're clear, girls are my forte. I don't need no advice."
"That was a double negative."
"Anyway," he continued pointedly, sitting down and ignoring him, "I was wondering what would happen if you lit yourself on fire."
"Probably nothing," Leo decided, nodding. "…I'm waiting for the 'but'."
"But… what if a different source set you on fire?"
Leo frowned and gestured for him to continue, intrigued.
Travis grinned, a mischief glint in his eye. "I know it wouldn't hurt, but would you be in control if I were to pull out a secret back-pocket cigarette lighter and set your hair on fire?"
Leo thought about it. "I don't know," he decided, and grinned mischievously. "Hand me it, Travis."
He obliged, opening his palm and revealing a simple cigarette lighter. Leo took it and started it up, holding the flame dangerously close to his hair.
"Any parting words?" Travis asked, squaring his fingers into a rectangle as if he were about to film this.
Leo cleared his throat regally, stepping up onto his chair. "I know some people think Minecraft is the most dangerous and hardcore thing you can do," he started. "However, in the demigod world we prefer to light our hair on fire and be eaten by monsters. But if I had to choose, I'd still pick Minecraft."
Travis applauded enthousiastically, and Leo took a dramatic bow.
That was when Jason happened to stroll by the bunker doorway and notice them. "What are you guys doing?" he asked suspiciously, walking over.
Travis glanced at him, then at Leo, then back at him. "Do it, boy!" he shouted.
Well, Leo's hair caught on fire. It didn't hurt one bit, he informed them.
"But it's kind of weird, because I can't control it," he informed Travis while Jason stood to the side, face-palming. "It's a weird sensation. Sort of like being able to control the redcoats in Star Trek for your entire life, then BAM! Introduced to the real world where they all die."
"This is dumb," Jason told them.
"Relax," Leo told him, stepping down from his chair and leaning on it. The casual action seemed a bit off with half of his head on fire. "Nothing bad will happen—"
The chair tipped sideways and he stumbled onto the table, where he fell backwards onto the desk. It snapped in right half and dropped Leo to the floor, setting the entire bureau on fire.
"Well, there goes three weeks of work," Travis muttered, shaking his head disapprovingly.
"Put out the fire, Leo!" Jason shouted, half turned away to shield his eyes from the bright flame.
"I can't!" he yelled back, struggling to get back to his feet. "I'm also kind of stuck."
Jason ran over to the fire extinguisher and pulled it out of the wall, running back and dousing both the flames and his best friend. Leo got back to his feet, coughing and spitting out white foam.
"Well, apparently setting fire to your hair is considered dumb both for mortals and demigods," he decided.
Travis snickered. "Setting your hair on fire," he repeated. "Classic."
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