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Light/L (Ryuzaki) T. 1,024

#1 Beginning

"The beginning is the end is the beginning," L says without preamble. He pushes away from the desk with his foot, spinning around in his chair to fix the boy with a look, searching his face for a sign that he understands.

Light nods. The moment they met was the end of life as they previously knew it, and now they have embarked on this journey together. We are bound, he thinks, tied together by both physical and metaphysical means.

The chain linking them together jiggles with false cheer as L spins back around and resumes typing without another word.

#2 Coffee

"Would you like some coffee with your sugar, Ryuzaki?" Light asks sarcastically, watching as L upends six sugar packets into his mug.

"You should try it sometime," L advises, eyes trained on his computer screen. "It will keep you awake through the long, tedious hours of research." He takes a sip, and his mouth comes away stained with powdered crystals.

It is an effort not to lean forward and lick those shimmering lips, an effort not to whisper in his ear a suggestion about other things that could keep them up all night, things which wouldn't be tedious at all.

#3 War

Whether it be as L and Kira or Ryuzaki and Light there is no peace between them, only the false sense of security that they try to lure each other into, the hush that predicts the storm.

Light cannot stay silent for too long. He always has to pick Ryuzaki's ideas apart, and Ryuzaki's scathing comments never fail to peel the skin of their friendship back, revealing the rivalry underneath.

Neither one of them is the type to surrender. This, more than anything, is the reason they won't just admit their feelings to each other and stop with the games.

#4 Hope

Walter Benjamin once said: "The only way of knowing a person is to love without hope."

As L watches Light's throat strain and relax as he emphasises some point to Matsuda, however, the detective decides that this is a foolish way of finding out if Light is Kira. Falling in love with him will only jeopardise the investigation and leave one of them heartbroken in the end.

Light looks up and catches his stare with a slight smile and, without hesitation, L gives a tiny wave in return.

Why won't his heart listen to reason where this boy is concerned?

#5 Bugs

Every room in bugged in this place, and even after Light is freed from the suspicion that he is Kira L cannot bring himself to stop watching the boy. He isn't sure anymore if he's doing this out of obsessiveness or out of love—maybe it's both. All he knows is that watching Light fall asleep on the couch with a book lying sloppily on his chest is the most fascinating thing in the world, and suddenly his wrist feels wrong, weightless with the absence of the handcuff and the boy who is supposed to be at the other end.

#6 Dark

There's darkness inside of you, Light thinks, listening to Ryuzaki explain that someone must use the notebook to prove that it works. He looks bored, dropping sugar cubes into his cup with a blank expression.

"We can't just watch!" Light argues, sounding every bit the enraged goody-two-shoes. "They're going to kill innocent people!"

"These people are not as 'innocent' as you would like to believe." Ryuzaki fixes him with a large, eerie stare. "No one is blameless."

The realization dawns that L understands him because of how alike they are. If given the Note, would you have been tempted, L?

#7 Poison

He hates the way Ryuzaki gets under his skin, slipping through his veins like a poison, corrupting his mind and corroding his previous accomplishments. While watching his mouth work on a slice of soft cake or when noticing how the overhead lights tint his hair blue, it is all too easy for Light to wish that he isn't Kira. He closes his eyes and listens to Ryuzaki ramble about the FBI agents, noting the timber of his voice and emphasis he puts on certain words. I would erase this for you, Light thinks, faltering in his convictions.Only for you.

#8 Doors

The tapping on the other end of the door increases as the minutes tick by and Light squeezes his eyes closed. He just wants some peace and quiet for once, a little time to think without the constant press off people and their talk. Is that so very much to ask for?

"Light-kun?" Tap, tap tap. "Are you all right?" Tap, tap, tap. "I think you should come out of there now." Tap, tap, tap.

He smacks his head against the back of the door. "Dear god, would you just leave me alone?"

Ryuzaki sympathizes. "Is she always this annoying?"

#9 Solid

Ryuzaki's belief that he is Kira is a solid, unwavering thing despite mounting evidence that it isn't him, and Light slumps into the sofa cushions, feeling a tad defeated as the famous detective tells his father just why the chance of him being Kira has yet again increased.

Light no longer objects to these little speeches. Once, he might have, but reason just doesn't seem to matter when Ryuzaki has something in his head. I'd rather have you figure it out yourself than try to convince you anyway, Light thinks. There's no point in talking if you never hear me.

#10 Spring

Freedom tastes like fresh rain. Light throws his arms open wide as he stands on the rooftop of the headquarters with his eyes closed, glorying in the springtime air that caresses his skin and ruffles his hair ever so slightly.

An image of Ryuzaki, lying in bed with the other half of the handcuff undone (picked with one of Misa's hairpins) flashes through his mind. He'll be angry when he pulls up the surveillance cameras later and finds out about this.

I'm going to get my head chopped off for this. Somehow, that thought doesn't make him go back inside.

Revisions: 10-23-12