Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Crossing Jordan.
A/N: Wow, am I ever mad at the writers for the ending of the episode. Way to kick Jeffery while he's down. I never liked the guy but that was just cruel. So this is my ending, a very short look into Jeffery's head while he watches the aftermath of his daughter's birth.
Outsider
I stand on the other side of the door watching my daughter's first cries. I feel like an outsider at my own child's birth. I wasn't wanted or needed but this was still my child. I want to scream, yell and tell Lily I hate her. I want to hit Bug for taking my place as Lily's support and coach. I want to hold my daughter, soothe her and tell her that I'm her father, but I can't because I'm rooted to the spot becoming aware that as my child takes her first breath, I've already been pushed out of her life.
Many fathers miss their children's births but not like this. I am a stranger and no one wants me there. No one even realizes that I am missing. I am simply on the outside looking in at the life that should be mine but has been taken from me. For once I need my mother's support. I need her love, her wisdom and guidance. My mother may be a lot of things, volatile being one of them, but she loves me and in turn loves the grandchild that Lily wants her to never know. A part of me despises what Lily has done, and another part feels overjoyed that my daughter has finally become part of this world.
I do the only thing I feel I can do, I turn and leave, biting back my silent tears as I face a life time of loneliness for the daughter that will never know the father I can really be.