Authors Note: Hello everyone! I'm Severys, and I go mostly by the name of Cloudy around here, so you can call me that. Basically this is just an old Fanfiction idea I had back in 2014 (Haven't updated the original since like a year ago...oops) that I am revamping completely. I wasn't too pleased with the old version (from the 2015 perspective) plus I've had a great new plot idea while radically changes whatever I had in mind in 2014, so here goes nothing. Hope you enjoy. Don't forget to leave a review so I can that your thoughts into consideration and improve the story! xx
I do not own Warriors.
The Disappearing Clans
Ravenkit was always alone. Alone in a den, along in his Clan, and come to think of it, along in the entire forest. He had fallen asleep snuggled up to his mother, and woken up to cold emptiness. No one was left in camp, and he didn't know why. There were no tracks, no blood, no scent trails. Just rain falling from the darkening sky, washing away any signs of his Clan (and any of the others for that matter). He never knew why they left, why they never brought him with him. His life is a tangle of questions without answers, and emotional walls that cannot be broken, only to be broken with the arrival of Heather.
Prologue – Cold
Ravenkit remembered that day as if it had happened yesterday. Besides, it had haunted him in his dreams for seasons on end. He was like a songbird that could only remember one song. He had fallen asleep with his mother's tail wrapped firmly around him, having the last happy dream for a long time, and woken to his flanks getting beaten by the cold wind that came with the rain.
The previous night he had persuaded his mother to let him sleep early. It so happened to everybody – the time that you fall asleep, to the point where you wake up always feels like a heartbeat. So with the next momentous occasion in his life happening in just under a day (or night, rather), Ravenkit intended to make transition from tonight to tomorrow morning seem as quick as possible. So he had fallen asleep to the vibration of his mother's purrs lulling him to slumber, and vivid dreams worming their way into his mind.
This time, however, Ravenkit did not wake up to sunlight and a happy, happy day. This time, he didn't wake up to his mother's familiar face and scent at him, or her flanks pressed around him, smiling at him and reminding him to get ready for his ceremony. And he definitely didn't wake up to an apprentice ceremony. He didn't see the Clan gather around Highrock to welcome a grown kit into the apprentice ranks. He didn't see his fellow kits-turned-apprentices paw at the ground excitedly, whispering words of encouragement to him as he approached his leader. He never received the 'paw' at the end of his name.
He woke up to cold. He woke up shivering. He woke up wet from rain. He woke up to cold nests and no cats. No one was there. Only him and the rain. Ravenkit had become desperate. He had pounded around the dens, ripping apart the nests for any signs of others. He had run out into the forest, yowling at the top of his lungs. He expected some cat to yowl his reply, signalling a similar feline presence in the forest. But all Ravenkit could hear was his own calls, echoing through an empty forest. His tail drooped, and trailed in the mud on the way back home.
Home? What was home without his mother? What was home without his Clanmates with him? He stared with blank eyes around the deserted camp. What was home when it was only him, wondering where in the name of StarClan, where everyone was, and why they had left him here? Why…why…leaving a kit alone in a forest was an open invitation for death. Ravenkit was struck with a horrible realization. What if they wanted him dead? He thought of his mother. She had smiled so kindly at him last night. Surely she couldn't possibly want him…dead?
Ravenkit's eyes widened. He wasn't sure how to react at the possibility that his mother hated him to the point she wished death on him. Was he supposed to be angry? Was a normal cat in tears by now, lying on the ground, screaming to the skies Why, why, would she want that? Ravenkit pushed the thought away.
Never would he think that. It was absolutely despicable that he even conjured the idea in the first place. His mother would never abandon him…but she had. The dark idea wriggled its way back into his head. Why should I convince myself she didn't abandon me, when I woke up alone, not by her side? Ravenkit wondered, a scowl crossing his features.
He stared at the exit. He imagined his mother padding through it, without a single glance back at her kit in the nursery. Had she looked back? What if she had; was there a chance she would have had second thoughts? Ravenkit determined she had forced herself not too look – to see him asleep, unaware of anything around him, would probably inflict such a strong sense of guilt that it would sway her stay behind, or bring him with her. Oh, how he wished she were here.
He plopped on the wet ground, not caring about the wet creeping its way through his hindquarters. The rain streaming over his face mixed with his tears. His mind was whirling with questions. His eyes were fixated on the dark, shadowy forest, which seemed much more imposing without the cats that inhabited it. There was only him. He couldn't grasp the fact that he was alone. It was just so hard to catch and hold on to without trying to escape even the thought of it afterwards. It reminded him that time when he had been chasing a moth. It had dived away from his sweeping paws, and he had stomped back to his mother in frustration (unsuccessful after an entire afternoon of tracking and pouncing). Some things you'll learn as you grow older, she had told him. Just like you'll learn to catch that moth, you'll learn a great many other things. She had trailed off here. You'll definitely learn a great many things. She had repeated thoughtfully.
Yes, I definitely did learn something. Ravenkit's nose wrinkled at the memory, and the beginning of a snarl gathered at the back of his throat. I learnt that you don't love me. He felt angry, but he cried anyways.
Ravenkit had forced most of his mother's scent out of her nest by the time the sun was high in the sky, and any sign of rain left in the puddles which filled the crevices of the camp. Ravenkit had learned to hate the rain that day, and for ages it reminded him of the day everyone left. Every time he felt rain upon his back, he would be filled with such a strong sense of grief (and occasionally anger) that he found impossibly hard to overcome. So he would trudge around in the pouring rain, sopping wet and absolutely devastated.
Some loners who he would run into in such a state would describe him as a "young 'un who was too old for his body, he was so sad!". Once a cat had asked him if he would like to share shelter from the rain, and they spent the remainder of the rainstorm in an awkward silence, with the black cat's anger, frustration and overwhelming sorrow making the other feel uncomfortable.
Ravenkit had been huddled against the moss for a while now, his eyelids squeezed shut, almost as if he were blocking the real world from him only by not seeing it. In fact, Ravenkit had imagined up some alternative universe where he was with his mother- alone in the forest, yes- but still with his mother. This thought spiralled into dark imaginings, and evil questions flooding his mind. Was he ever good enough for his mother? Had he done something wrong? Then he remembered his mother's smiling face and his doubts grew. But she had smiled at him so sweetly…
Anger started to well up inside him. Actually, rather a mixture of emotions. Anger, sadness, a tinge of regret. His claws started to work, hooking and tearing the moss. Was it all fake? His mother's happiness every morning seeing him wake up and frolic around? Or was there always a sense of dislike, or hatred before she plastered the smile on her face to greet him? His thoughts flew from one to the other, as did his claws as they tore apart moss wads after moss wads. If I ever did anything wrong, I'm sorry! He screamed inside his head. Just come back and get me! His thoughts moved from his mother to his friends. Did they hate him too? All those people…he had trusted them. He had trusted every single one of his Clanmates until today. Now, he didn't know what to think.
His heart felt like it had been stabbed with tens of thousands of thorns. He cried and cried over the shredded moss, which had all been ruined by his claws. He cried for a long time. He ignored his rumbling stomach and his parched throat. He cried himself to sleep that night. And oh, was he cold.
For the next few days, Ravenkit moved around as if he was dazed. His eyes were not focusing, and his legs moved in long, stiff motions. His hunting was not on par, but he had managed to snag the older, and slower prey once and awhile.
The moons passed. Ravenkit still felt the painful sting of betrayal, but had long since accepted his situation. When he thought of his mother, he only thought of her leaving him. When he thought of his Clan, he felt longing. And when he thought of him, he thought of hatred.
Sometime in those following moons, he got rid of the last thing that tied him to the Clans.
"Hello," he would say to any cats who were passing through the forest, and after a few minutes of conversation, ask the all-important question: "What's your name?"
He would grin when they replied and asked the same question.
He would say, "My name's Raven."
Just in case, I'm planning on illustrating some mature themes in this story (nothing sexual/explicit content, don't worry) i.e. child abandonment so if you are uncomfortable with that sort of thing then just a quick warning for chapters ahead!
Favourites, follows and reviews are always appreciated.
Until the next chapter,
Cloudy xx