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At first, there was nothing. Well, nothing but a dank, nasty lake/sewer/thing under a lavish opera house, home to an insane genius who had been called many things,
but was currently trying out 'Opera Ghost' as his official title, which was interchangeable with 'The Phantom of the Opera'. One must pause to wonder why this phic is being written in English, but as soon as One asks the authoresses, One is smacked over the head while the taller one screams "We're doing it in ALW form at the moment, stooge!". As the taller authoress has proceeded to completely run away from the topic screaming 'CHICKEN! CHICKEN!', we're to assume that the story is finally getting it's rear in gear.
Ahem. A woman dressed in short shorts and a tanktop randomly appeared in this dank lair. The dank, nasty lair. The dank, nasty, uberspiff, cold, wet, gloomy, creepy,
tricked-out batcave-like lair. Ahem. The woman was of average height and had short red hair. She had appeared quickly, and just as quickly had fallen on her ass with no semblance of grace at all. She jumped up and spoke into the darkness.
"Ohkay, 1870/1881. Paris opera house, Underground lake... Lookin' for an Erik, Phantom of the Opera. 'Ello? Dude?"
A man jumped from the shadows, attempting to choke the woman with a Punjab Lasso.
The woman seemed to become transparent, and she jumped away.
"Woah, dude! No strangling the guardian angel! Bad doggy! Bad!"
"Guardian angel?" The man' voice was chocolate, it was exctasy, it was an angel's, it was so beautiful and pure...that the tall authoress promtly fainted and had to be revived by a crowd of minions.
"Yeah. I assume you're Erik? You need one, Mister Noose-happy." The guardian angel pouted.
Erik snarled. "Guardian angel. Hah! I believe in no such thing!"
The angel put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "Well. that's the kind of thing I wanted to hear. Just popping in to say 'Hi' and you don't believe in me. Thanks. A lot."
Erik just stared at her.
"Every time you say 'I don't believe in angels', God kills a sheep! You're killing poor, innocent sheep!"
Erik stepped back. "Daroga? Insane girl, in the lair. Help, please."
A man in persian robes strode into the lair. "This is a problem?"
"Is everyone against me?" Erik asked... the ceiling.
The persian shrugged. "Not really. Why would we be?"
Erik, had this been a roleplay, would have -facepalm-ed. Had this been an Anime, he would have sweatdropped. As it was, he just rolled his eyes.
The woman crossed her arms. "Why are you ignoring me? I'm not invisible!"
"I'm going to pretend you are." Erik said rather nastily.
"See, this is where my self-esteem goes down. Poof. You people don't even try to make it go back up...sheesh." She looked upset.
The persian looked at the woman. "...What is she wearing?"
She looked down at herself. "What? Shorts, shirt, important bits covered... there is nothing wrong with my outfit."
Erik rolled his eyes. "That's no better than underthings."
The woman and the Persian looked at him. "...How would you know?" They asked in unison.
Erik looked mildly flustered. "Well...Er...Mlle. Giry doesn't come down here, or anything-"
"And to think I was talking to her a few hours ago." The persian shuddered.
"That's sick. She's eons younger than you." The woman made a face.
Erik blushed- not that you could really tell... "Erik shouldn't have said anything."
"That's WRONG!" The woman said, shaking her head.
"Oh, be quiet!" Erik said irritably.
"She's what, fifteen? She's not even legal!" The woman made retching motions.
"Explains why she's always gasping and screaming his name." the Persian said to her.
"True..." The woman said.
"Not like that! NEVER like that!" Erik said desperately.
"What's your name?" The persian asked the woman.
"Alice. What's yours?"
"I don't have one." Sad look. Finally catch up to Erik.
"Erik, you're lying. Again." The persian said.
"Coulda been worse. Coulda been Little Jammes." Alice made another face.
"Ugh! Not her!" Erik protested.
"Uh-huh..."
"Anyway, who cares about her being legal. It's not as if she's going to..tell...anyone... Darn. I did not just say that."
"You actually..."
"Mme. Giry would have a fit if she found out!" The persian grinned evilly.
"She won't. SHUT UP." Erik did not like that grin.
"Mme. Giry will find out. No one can fool her. W hen she does, she'll cane your ass into the lake." The persian disliked that cane very much.
"I'd pay to see that!" Alice exclaimed.
Erik scowled. "Some guardian angel you are. I'd like to see her try."
"I could go get her!" Alice was practically jumping up and down.
"Go jump off a building and die." Erik said sullenly.
Alice smiled. "You don't deserve me."
Erik grinned. "You're right. I don't. Good evening. Bye."
Alice swore at him. "I'm not going anywhere except to tell Mme. Giry what her daughter's up to."
Erik grabbed Alice by the arm. "No you don't!"
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Yes, well. As I said, utter weirdness.