A/N: This is my first fanfiction to post so feed back would be greatly and tremendously welcome! :-) Even constructive criticism but ONLY constructive! LOL!!! J/K! I don't care what people think about me! ;-)

Disclaimer: NOT MINE!!!

Olivia's POV

The squad room seems so empty today. Not that it shouldn't be, though, what with Stuckey going bonkers and offing that innocent woman, that attorney, nearly Judge Donnelly, AND O'Halloran! And there is no way I could forget the damage he caused Elliot. Oh my gosh, the look on Elliot's face alone was enough to make me wish I were dead. I wish it had been me. However if Elliot had to kiss Stuckey, I don't think things would have gone so well for us! And the look on Elliot's face when I kissed Stuckey! Wow, I thought he was about to get sick! He looked so let down, as if I had in some way betrayed him, cheated on him. He had no right to feel that way, it's not like we are together or anything. I know I love him, have known that since the dreaded Gitano case that nearly tore us apart. When he was holding the gun to Elliot's head, the only thought to cross my mind was, "No! Not El! No, take me! I love him, take me instead!" I almost blurted it out, but I stopped myself. Elliot had a wife and toddler to go home to that needed him. Kathy left El right after the horrible undercover job he did with the animal smuggling ring. I had persuaded her to stay at first, and then after he was shot she decided it was all too much for her and packed up again and went to her mom's. However, I wouldn't be cocky enough to believe I had a chance in hell of being with him. He wouldn't want me; I'm as unwanted as anyone could be. There's nothing special about me. Besides, if we had got together right after she left, I would have been his rebound and that is something I refuse to be for him.

Anyways, after I saved the day, I took El to Mercy Hospital, they stitched him up, and he was forced to take a minimum of two weeks off due to the cuts becoming infected. Cregan decided to give everyone today off, on call still of course, and he tried to convince me to take two weeks off to get my head together but I declined to even take a day off. Elliot and I combined have enough put-off paper work to keep me busy well into the next week. I figure I can do El's for him as a get-well-soon gift versus getting him a present. I never can seem to get him the right thing. He is so unpredictable unless he's angry. When he's angry, he has a tendency to hit anything within reach so I guess a good gift when he's in THAT mood would be a big box of band-aids. However, more often than not lately, he has these mood swings. One day he's on top of the world, surprises me sometimes with lunch on him or dinner, and drinks after work; other days he is in a quiet sulking mood and won't talk or interact with anyone except to get the job done. I never know which to expect so I'll just stick with his paper work; El hates paper work so good mood or bad, this is sure to be a guaranteed amazing gift. It's the best I can do...

Uhhh... Every time I close my eyes, I see El tied to that chair with blood running down his chest. It was enough to stop me dead in my tracks, I couldn't think, just react to what I saw. I never want to see that again. I'd do anything to prevent it. I realized it about a moment too late that he was trying to warn me, but that image of him knocked the wind out of me. When it was all over, I just wanted to hold him and never let him go. But who am I kidding; he doesn't feel the same way about me. He probably thinks I'm just there so he has someone to save, like he pretty much said after the incident with Gitano at the train station, like I can't take care of myself. However, if he really thought about it, I saved him this time. Not that it will matter to Elliot and his unshakable notion that I'm to weak for the job. He's never come right out and said it since Gitano but the way he looks at me sometimes or asks me if I'm sure I'm ready for something such as an interrogation or picking up a perp.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" a timid voice startles me out of my thoughts.

"Yes? What can I do for you miss?" I reply. She looks to be no older than twenty in an oversized NYC grey hoodie and matching sweats. She has such beautiful features: steely grey eyes, dirty blond hair with high and low lights, distinguished facial features, and curves in all the right places. However, it looks as though she has lost a good bit of weight within a short amount of time and the tell tale dark circles confirm something is wrong enough with her to keep her up at night and constantly worrying. I think she might be a victim.

"I'm so sorry to bother you, but the hospital suggested I come here."

"Were you raped?"

"I think so... I mean, I would have had to have been... I guess so...," the young woman stammered. Yep, she's a vic. And the world keeps goin' round.

"Ok, would you like something to drink? Coffee? Water? Soda?" the young woman declined each by the shake of her head. "Ok then, how about we go somewhere a bit more private? By the way, my name is Detective Olivia Benson. And you are?"

"Aubrey... Aubrey Taylor."

"Ok, right this way Aubrey."

As I lead her into interview 1, I get the increasing feeling that she is terribly ashamed of something, more so than the average vic. She keeps looking over her shoulder and fidgetting, not that they don't sometimes do that, but she can barely walk straight for looking behind her and her hoodie sleeves are going to be so stretched you could park a semi inside them comfortably.

"Please, have a seat Aubrey. Now, Aubrey, could you please tell me what brought you here?" I ask as I take a seat across from her.

"Well... You see... I noticed about a week ago that my nausea was more than just nausea. I was getting sick morning, noon, and night for a week straight and I just assumed it was the flu so I notified my professors I wouldn't be in class till I could keep something other than gatorade down. I self medicated with tylenol and plenty of electrolytes but I still didn't get better. Then I noticed it had been over 2 months since my last period. I thought it was because of stress, what with finals coming up and not being able to be in class for review so I had to study on my own while very sick. I mean, yeah, at first I was scared I was pregnant till I realized virgins haven't got pregnant since Mary. It wasn't till I stepped on the scales and found that I lost 60 pounds within those 2 and some odd months that I finally went to the doctor-"

"Why not go when you first got sick?"

"Because I... I hate hospitals... Too many people die there... Anyways, I told the doc I was getting sick all the time, about the weight loss, missing period, mood swings, and swelling in my joints, and she asked if it was possible if I was pregnant. I told her it was impossible, I was a virgin, but she insisted on an ultrasound just to be sure..." she's being to get emotional. She's most definitely pregnant.

"And?"

"I'm almost 3 months pregnant. I asked her how the hell I'm pregnant and a virgin and she did a gyno work up. I'm not a virgin anymore and I... I have... I have chlamydia." Wow. Poor kid.

"How are you handling it?"

"I don't know. I mean, when I started college the fall before last, we had a lecture about what rape is and they said that when you are unable to consent and the other is, then the other is guilty of rape. That had to be what happened. I have never, EVER had consensual sex nor would I until marriage. It must have been that damned party I went to!" Aubrey sobbed. She's right, that's rape. Sophomore too, so she's approx 19.

"What happened at the party, Aubrey?"

She sniffled and looked away, a look of shame crossed her face. "I'm not completely sure. I only went cuz I was my roommate's DD. When I got there... I found out that the party was for my boyfriend and I. Jake proposed right after my favorite song... I was so shocked and happy and overwhelmed at the same time, I gave in and got completely drunk. It was all my fault! I know underage drinking is against the law but I just... I... did anyway. No one forced me to drink...-"

"This is not your fault. If you were incapacitated, you were unable to consent, meaning whoever forced themself on you, raped you... What is the last thing you remember about that night?"

"I said yes, and everybody started cheering and someone handed us both a margarita and I didn't think I just drank. I was to overwhelmed by what just happened... Jake and I danced, then drank, then danced some more... Last thing I remember was this guy hitting on me. He was cute, but I told him I was taken, I even showed him my ring. He didn't take too well to being turned down, but he walked away. I had another drink and then... it's all black untill the next morning when I woke up."

"Where were you when you woke up?"

"In my own bed. That's why I didn't suspect anything was wrong. I just figured my roomie helped me home cuz after I started drinking she said she'd DD for me. I asked her later that day and she said I looked a little flushed and really really drunk so she took me home. She said that I had been acting wierd, she said I kept repeating 'I'm sorry, Jake' over and over. I guess it makes sense now. I just figured it was cuz I was drunk, I hate being drunk. I always feel so out of control, and I've only ever been drunk once. It was after my high school graduation, my dad insisted that he get me drunk once before sending me off to college so that I never wanted to do it again, and he was right. I wasn't hung over or anything and I remembered the whole night, I wasn't that terribly drunk, just enough I was slurring my words, yelling instead of talking, couldn't stand or walk straight. I made a complete ass out of myself, and I promised myself I would never let it go that far again." She looks so small, like a small child being scolded for playing in her mother's make-up. She suddenly looks up and says, "Oh my God! What am I supposed to tell Jake?! 'Hi, honey! How was your day? And by the way, I'm pregnant and have no clue how I got pregnant. What do you want for dinner?' I hardly doubt he would be ok with that!" Aubrey finally broke down into a fit of sobs.

"If Jake truly loves you, he will stick by you no matter what and do his best to help you deal with all this. Aubrey, could you please describe the man that was hitting on you?" I wonder what she's thinking about doing with the baby?

"He was about 6ft even, dark brown curly shoulder-length hair, matching hazel eyes, muscular build, and he had a scar that ran down his left cheek-bone like he had been sliced by a knife."

"That's really good, Aubrey, really. I will need you too work with sketch artist in a little while, is that ok?"

"Yeah..."

"Ok... Aubrey, could I ask you a personal question? You don't have to answer, I'm just curious."

"Sure..."

"Have you given any consideration to what you are going to do reguarding the baby?"

"A little... I want to keep it..." At Olivia's shocked expression, Aubrey felt the need to explain, "I'm pro-life. I can't see how killing a baby helps anyone."

"I know, but you are still so young. You haven't even graduated college yet. Are you sure you want that bagage? Are you sure you want a constant reminder of your attack?" This girl is nuts!

"Yes. Why would I blame my baby for my rape? Just because it's part rapist doesn't make it all his, it does have half me. And I have always sided with the nurture side of the nature vs. nurture debate. I've always viewed blaming your actions on anyone but yourself a cop out because, yes you have all these bad influences in your life, however you are the one who chose to do what you did... If that makes any sense. A baby is innocent and pure, beginning life with a fresh slate... I guess I can't really describe accurately why I feel the way I do about it. All I know is, I love kids. And in a way, I'm jealous of their innocence. I probably haven't seen as many terrible things as you may have, but I have seen my fair share since I can remember."

Ring, ring, ring

"I'm sorry, just a moment please." Aubrey said. She's earned a break. All the hell that's ahead for her and all... She looks down at her caller id and smiles ever so slightly. She has a beautiful smile. So comforting and reassuring. She would make a good counselor. "Hello?"

"Hey Lanah Baby! How was your first day of school?... That's awesome chick-a-dee! I'm so proud of you!!... No, hon, I won't be able to visit for awhile... Why? Because I have some really hard tests coming up and I need to be here to study for them... I promise I will be back for your birthday... Yes, I will bring Jake-y with me... I love you too, baby... Yeah, honey, I'm kind of busy right now so can I call you back later tonight, Lanah Baby?... Ok, love you, and could you tell mama and Layla, Karigan, Braedyn, Landon, and Annie I love them too?... Ok baby, love you, bubye baby." She ended her phone call looking much more relaxed. "I'm so sorry-"

"Don't be, it's fine. May I ask who that was?" I must admit that was one interesting one-sided conversation.

"That was my... I guess you could call her my adopted niece... When I was younger my parents weren't the greatest and this older lady, Rose, took me under her wing and not long after started introducing me as her adopted daughter to people. She had a son and two granddaughters at the time, Makayla or Layla, and Karigan. Then her son, Scot, remarried and had Braedyn, Landon, Allanah or Lanah, and Bradleigh Annabelle or Annie. Layla and Karigan aren't extremely younger than me so they pretty much consider me their big sis, but I remember when the rest of them were babies and they all view me as their aunt, and Lanah is my baby. She's the second youngest and the biggest drama queen of them all. I, personally, think its just because she craves affection. When I visit she keeps jumping off the bed into my arms and wants to cuddle up and read a book. And heaven forbid I play with Annie or one of the other kids without her. I think she does it cuz she knows I love her. I'd do anything for her... I know it's wierd but when I've had a hard day of classes, I call her just to hear her beg me to come home. The other kids aren't as attached to me as Lanah is, but they do get upset when I don't visit for awhile and I haven't been there since that party."

"May I ask why?"

"I was embarrassed. Ma'amaw Rose is a strict old-school christian who can get anybody to tell her anything and I couldn't risk her finding out about what I did at that party. I told them about the proposal of course but I didn't tell them where or how. When she asked I told her I had a class and I had to go. I haven't talked to her since."

I finished interviewing Aubrey, had her work with a sketch artist, and sent her home, then notified Cregan about the new case. Fin and I spent the rest of the day running down leads that led nowhere and quickly decided on an early dinner break.

"You gonna finish that Liv? You barely touched anything on your plate."

"Sorry, just thinking..."

"About?"

"Callin it quits early and checking on El. I haven't seen him since I took him to the hospital that day."

"Why, Liv? You know you his girl."

I had to laugh at that one! "Yeah right, in case you haven't noticed, he either hardly talks to me or yells at me as of late."

"C'mon, baby girl, can't you see what he's playin' at? He has it bad for you and is frustrated dat since Kath left you haven't shown any int'rest and he don't know how to make the first move."

"And you know all this how?" Yeah right, he's just playin with me.

"It's a guy thing... What?! It is!" Fin replied indignantly to Liv's look that clearly read, Yeah, right.

I really enjoyed writing the beginning of this story, and trust me, it will all be E/O and all the out there plots will come together!