Sirius walked into the dorm room that he would become his new home. For years, he's been wanting to get away from the awful home he grew up in and now that he was out of high school and in college, he was free from his parents. Sure they were paying for his college education, but he didn't have to be around them now. Somebody's stuff was already on their side of the room. Sirius wondered what his new roommate would be like. He could have roomed with his best friend, but that traitor decided to get a private room since he began dating Lily. Knowing that James would be spending a lot of his time with Lily he decided against getting a private room because he wanted to hopefully make a new friend. He needed new friends anyway, especially since he's lost his other friend, Peter, after Peter caught him kissing a guy. He hoped that his new roommate would be ok with his sexuality. After the incident with Peter, him and James never spoke to him again. Sirius began unpacking his things and nervously turned around when the door opened and the person he assumed to be his roommate walked in. The way he looked took his breath away.
"Hi, I'm Sirius Black," Sirius said introducing himself to his roommate. The guy blushed.
"Remus Lupin," he replied shyly. "You're my roommate?"
"I'm your roommate." The two of them made small talk. Sirius couldn't help but notice the other mans scars but didn't feel like it would be appropriate to ask. Remus caught him staring at his scars.
"You got a problem with them? I know that they make me ugly but if you're going to make fun of me for them and how I look, I'd like to know now before I unpack so I can move to another room," Remus snapped.
Sirius was hurt by his tone of voice. "I'm not going to make fun of you. I am sorry for staring. I wasn't staring to make fun of you. I was just admiring them."
Remus glanced at Sirius suspiciously. "Yeah right. Maybe I should go to housing and request a new room."
"Wait," Sirius told him as he began to walk out of the room. "Please don't go. I'm sorry. I was just…"
"Just what?"
Sirius blushed. "Nothing." He couldn't let this other guy know that he was attracted to him or it would make everything awkward. "But I don't have a problem with them. If you want to tell me what happened then you can but you don't have to. It's none of my business. And they don't make you look ugly by the way."
Remus tried to hide his blush as he tried to size up Sirius. He knew the type of family that he came from but something about him seemed different. "You're just saying that to make me feel better."
"No I'm not," Sirius blurted out. "They make you look sexy."
Remus glared at him. "If you knew the story of how I got them you wouldn't say that."
"I'm sorry. But I was telling you the truth. They don't make you look ugly." Sirius cursed in his mind. This was not turning out the way that he was expecting it to. He went back to unpacking his things.
"I'm sorry," Remus told him after a while. "I'm just really self conscious about my scars. I wish I could do something to cover them up but I can't. I get into defensive mode whenever I feel like people are making fun of me."
"I would never make fun of you," Sirius told him truthfully. "And I've got plenty of scars too. You can't see them though but that doesn't mean they're there. I believe scars are a sign of strength. You have got to be one of the strongest guys in the world."
"Thanks," Remus told him giving him a small smile. Sirius felt himself becoming hard at the sight of the smile and quickly excused himself to go into the bathroom. Forgetting about the adjourning room, he began to relieve himself but he was interrupted by James.
"James! Get out right now!" James snickered.
"Interrupt something did I?"
Sirius scowled at his suitemate. "Shut up and leave me alone."
"I didn't know you were in here. You should have locked the door. Has your roommate come in yet? I'm guessing yes because of your current sticky situation. You like him don't you."
Sirius kicked James in the shin causing him to cry out in pain. "Shut up antler boy. You better not speak of this incident to anybody."
James swore to keep it to himself. "Fine. Whatever. When am I going to meet this roommate of yours. I've got to make sure he's good enough for my friend."
"Go away. You can meet him later. We're still in the early stages of getting to know each other."
"I'll talk to you later I suppose. Always remember to lock the door."
Sirius gave him the finger before cleaning up and going back into the room. Remus had already unpacked all of his things. "Wow, that was fast," Sirius told him.
Remus nodded and began speaking while staring at the floor. "I'm good at getting things done quickly."
Sirius had noticed that almost the whole time we were talking he has barely made eye contact with him. There was something about him that made Sirius feel like he could relate to him. The two of them talked awhile. It was hard for Remus to open up to Sirius which he understood but found frustrating because he wanted to learn everything about this beautiful man as soon as possible.
Before the night was over, Sirius introduced James to Remus. James smiled and seemed to take an instant liking to Remus. The three of them ended up talking for hours with Sirius and James doing most of the talking. Around 1, James excused himself to go to bed.
"Goodnight Remus," Sirius told him as he got settled in bed.
"Goodnight Sirius," Remus whispered softly before turning out the light and getting into bed.
Months passed and for the most part Remus was a stranger to Sirius. Yes, he knew about his likes and dislikes and almost all of the superficial stuff, but he didn't know much about him and his life. Sirius didn't want to pressure him into spilling either. He didn't even know whether or not Remus liked guys or girls because he barely talked to people.
One night Sirius came into the dorm to see Remus curled up on his bed crying as he held a towel to his arm which was bleeding.
"What happened Remus," Sirius asked concerned. He went over to comfort his crying bleeding friend even though Remus tried to literally push him away.
"Don't worry about me Sirius," Remus whispered. "I'm fine."
"No you're not. You are bleeding and crying. Did someone hurt you? You can tell me. I'll help you out." Sirius held his friend close to him, which helped him to slowly stop crying.
"I'm not weak," Remus told him defensively.
"I know you're not. I never said you were either. Sometimes we all need a little help. I'm always going to be here for you. I care about you. You're one of my best friends," Sirius told him as tears fell down his face. "I don't want to see you hurting like this."
Remus began sobbing. He's never had a best friend or been called someone's best friend, though he knew that Sirius was a good friend especially over how the past couple months have been. "You're my first ever friend," he confessed. "I never had any friends. That's why I haven't been opening up very much. I know that drives you crazy because I see the look on your face when you ask me stuff and I don't answer or say we'll talk later. I just ugh. I can't tell you."
"Hey," Sirius told him gently. "Yes you can. I swear. Nothing you tell me could change our relationship. We're friends. We always will be friends hopefully. I promise."
Remus shook his head. "I believe you, but if I tell you what happened or my life story I'll be killed."
Sirius protectively hugged him tightly. "No one is going to hurt you again. I wish you would tell me whats going on so I can try to help."
Remus looked his roommate in the eyes and felt the urge to kiss him, but didn't want to alienate his only friend. "I'm sorry Sirius. I can't." The disappointment was evident in his eyes, but Sirius shook it off.
"I'm here if you need me. Please at least let me clean your cut."
Remus reluctantly agreed and watched Sirius gently take care of him. "I could have done that myself you know but thank you anyway."
Sirius chuckled softly. "No problem Moons."
Both of them froze. Sirius had never called him that before. "What," Remus asked.
"Um, Moons. I have, you might think this sounds weird, but um, I've noticed that some of your patterns of scars looks like a moon. I'm sorry," Sirius said looking at the floor.
Remus grinned and poked Sirius who looked up at him to see his smile. "Don't be sorry. It's nice. I've never had a nickname before."
Sirius grinned. "You don't mind if I call you Moons do you?"
"Not at all."
Sirius jumped on the bed beside him, careful not to touch his recently cut arm. "Thanks." Sirius stayed on the bed and cuddled with Remus who didn't seem bothered by it. Slowly he worked up the courage to slip his hand in Remus's who blushed slightly but didn't move away or act disgusted. "I really care about you, you know. I hope you know that."
"I know," Remus replied looking up at Sirius. "And I care about you a lot too. I want you to know that."
"I do," Sirius replied with a smile. The two of them stayed the way they were, falling asleep with them comforting each other. After that night, they rarely slept apart, making it always seem like they accidently fell asleep in each others bed. Neither of them minded either. As Thanksgiving drew nearer, Remus became increasingly nervous, something which Sirius had picked up on.
"What's up Moons?" Remus shook his head, indicating that he didn't want to answer. Sirius sighed and sat beside him on the bed intertwining their fingers. "Moony…Please talk to me."
Remus looked in those puppy dog like eyes and caved. "I don't have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving and I cant stay here."
"Of course you have somewhere to go. You'll stay with me. I am going to spend the holiday with my uncle and he told me I could invite you. Please come. I won't take no for an answer."
"Fine," Remus caved giving a smile. "Thanks. Thanks a lot."
"It's no problem at all. Is that all that's been bothering you?"
"If I tell you something will you promise not to tell anyone," Remus asked softly.
"Of course. You can trust me with anything."
Remus opened his mouth to confess something but the words wouldn't come out for a while. "Ever since I was thirteen my parents have beaten me up because I am attracted to guys. Eventually their beatings turned into cutting me which is why I am covered in all these scars. They threatened to kill me if I told anyone about it. I was home schooled so I wasn't really around people my age till I met you. In fact, I wasn't able to get out much at all. It sucked, but since I got a scholarship to here and I was eighteen they couldn't keep me at home. That's why I've been so withdrawn and reluctant to tell you much about me. I'm afraid I'll repulse you. I guess I also am afraid you'll hurt me like they did even though you are one of the kindest people I've ever known. So now that you know the truth, I'll be fine if you don't want to share a bed with me anymore or even a room. Thanks again for the thanksgiving offer but I'll try to see if they can make an exception for me to stay here."
Remus tried to let go of Sirius's hand but Sirius wouldn't let him let go. "I am so sorry Moons. You did not deserve any of that. And I will never hurt you. I swear. I hate that you had to go through all of that. Do you want to know what my family did when they found out I was gay?"
Sirius pulled down his pants and underwear and showed Remus a scar from the knife they used to attempt to cut off his genitals. Remus's eyes widened in shock and he leaned closer to get a closer look. "That's awful. I am so sorry."
Sirius looked at Remus's blush and thought it was adorable and could feel himself becoming hard right in front of him which caused Remus to blush harder. "It's alright. I mean its in the past. I pretended it was a one time only thing and after that they never mentioned it again but it wasn't a one time thing. You're not alone. I hate my family. I hate your family. I wish I could do something. Ugh." He pulled his pants back up and sat by Remus. "You know I won't be offended if you want to not sleep in the same bed as me anymore," he joked mocking Remus slightly, getting him to smile which is what he hoped for.
"Shut up," Remus told him jokingly. "I'm sorry for what your family did to you."
"You don't have to apologize. I'm sorry for what your family did and does do to you but what happened to your arm that night?"
Remus frowned but didn't hesitate to speak. "My parents saw the two of us out one night and thought we were on a double date with James and Lily."
"That's not fair," Sirius told him pulling him into a hug. "I'm sorry that you got that because of me."
"It wasn't because of you and it doesn't matter anyway. Its in the past now."
"Yeah. It is. I love you," he blurted out. "I'm in love with you. I guess that's why your parents might have thought we were dating. I don't know if you feel the same and it doesn't matter. I just wanted to confess that."
Sirius started to get out of the bed and untangle his fingers from Remus's but he wouldn't let him. "Where are you going?"
"Away to request a different room and roommate," he said bashfully.
"Why? Do you not like living with me?"
"No, I do. I do more than anything, I just don't want to put you in an uncomfortable situation where you live with someone who likes you when you don't like them back."
"Who says I don't like you back," Remus asked smiling.
"You do?"
"Of course I do. Why do you think I choose to sleep with you every night? You aren't exactly a bed sharer and you're a blanket hog," Remus teased.
Sirius laughed and playfully lightly punched him on the shoulder. "I am not!"
"Yes you are but I don't care because I love you too. Now will you please stop grinning like a maniac and kiss me."
Sirius laughed and kissed him happily. The two of them got so caught up in kissing and undressing each other they didn't realize they had an audience that consisted of James and Lily.
"I'd say it's about time they got together," Lily commented with a smile.
"Go away Evans and Potter," Sirius told them reluctantly removing his lips from his lovers body.
"Not with that tone," James teased.
Sirius groaned and threw a pillow at them. "Alright James, we're leaving. Don't forget that the two of you said you'd come out tonight," Lily reminded Sirius and Remus as they went back into James's room.
"I'm sorry," Sirius told Remus.
"It's alright. We can always continue later."
Sirius grinned. "Love that idea. Oh and you're still spending Thanksgiving with me and my uncle. He's ok with me. He knows the truth about me. I told him because he is like me. He's going to love you. I know it. I don't know how anyone couldn't love you."
"My parents don't," Remus said sadly.
"You don't need them. You've got me, James, Lily, but more importantly me."
Remus couldn't help but laugh. "I love you."
"I love you too," Sirius replied giving him a long kiss.
