…
Makoto was perfect. He was loving, he was caring, he was completely selfless. He was honest, he was kind, he was smart, he was pure. He had a perfect smile, his laughter could melt a heart, his physique could make any person stare.
Everything Haruka wasn't.
Makoto was his best friend. His lover. His whole world. And he would do anything possible to keep him.
One thing about Makoto that only Haruka knew was that he was incredibly insecure, he need constant reassurance from those around him to make him feel that he was somewhat worthwhile.
He was worthwhile, more than that but if Makoto ever realised his own self-worth, if he ever realised how perfect he was, he would leave Haruka. He'd realise he was better than the existence he currently had and move on.
And Haruka could never let that happen.
…
The opportunity to keep Makoto came quicker than Haruka had expected during a Japanese lesson.
Test papers were handed back to them that they'd taken the week before, Haruka wasn't bothered how he had done but Makoto was. Japanese was one of his favourite subjects, he excelled in creative writing, it was what he planned to study at university but the way his back stiffened Haruka could tell he hadn't done as well as he'd wanted.
Silently, he leant towards the taller boy, reading his score over his unmoving shoulder. It wasn't that bad, a few careless mistakes but nothing worth worrying about.
That's what Makoto needed to hear, reassurance that he hadn't failed and he would do better the next time but that's not what he got.
"You won't get into university with grades like that." Haruka whispered in his ear.
Makoto whipped around to the sound of his voice, eyes wide with pain as he heard his own fears voiced by someone he loved.
"I'll try harder." He said defiantly, Haruka frowning at him slightly.
"If that's what you think." He shrugged.
"I will do. I know I can do it." Makoto tried to sound confident in himself but Haruka knew better, he knew his words had got to him, would haunt him late at night.
"Poor Makoto, all that beauty just no brains." He smiled, harmless joke to others but to the tall boy it was a comment that tore at his already insecure heart.
"Tachibana!" A voice boomed, drawing the boys focus away from each other.
"Yes, sensei?" He replied, looking up at the teacher now stood in front of his desk.
"I wouldn't worry too much about it." He reassured, knowing one of his brightest students was his most unsure. "Just read the questions thoroughly next time and you'll be fine."
"Thank you sensei." Makoto smiled fakely up at him.
It was too late for kind words as Haruka had got there first, put a small doubt in his mind that would only grow despite what others would say. At the end of the day Haruka's word was always more important.
Soon the universities that Makoto looked at stopped being high end establishments in cities but small ones that he was able to commute to, but it wasn't enough for Haruka.
Makoto would still leave him, he'd find new friends who would also notice how perfect he was and they would tell him so. He'd realise he's better than Haruka and forget all about him.
…
Haruka had watched as Makoto talked and laughed with his friends, the blow he'd dealt last week was quickly wearing off. He was happy again, enjoying himself again.
He nervously nibbled his thumb as the group watched a film, how could he make Makoto need him again. The last week had been bliss, being the only person Makoto felt comfortable to talk to about his concerns, holding him late at night as he worried.
A slight whimper from the gentle giant pulled him out his thoughts, looking over to the boy to see him almost shivering as his focus was fixed on the horror film gracing the TV screen.
Unthinking, Haruka reached out for him, tightly holding his hand to make him feel safe.
"You're such a child." He teased, the other two in the room laughing at the comment, but not Makoto.
Makoto's face darkened slightly at the implication, Haruka knew he hated to be seen as childish, he was embarrassed by his stupid little fears. He wanted to appear like an adult, independent, but clearly that's not how his friends saw him.
For the rest of the film Haruka could tell Makoto was no longer watching but instead dwelling on what had been said.
…
Haruka bit down hard on Makoto's neck as pants filled his otherwise quiet home. He wanted to claim him, let the world know who he belonged to.
Hands gripped hips with each thrust, leaving red, possessive marks, matching the ones he'd left on his neck, chest, thighs, back, any patch of skin he could find really.
Makoto looked perfect during their intimate activities, cheeks flushed, skin shining with sweat, hair pushed back, eyes scrunched as the pleasure consumed him.
It should be enough for him that only he got to see Makoto like this, the only one to hear his moans, to taste each and every part of him.
But it wasn't, he wanted to own every part of him, nobody else deserved his flawless person in their lives, only Haruka. Makoto belonged to him.
"Make me a man, Haru." Makoto moaned breathlessly.
Just from that pleasured sentence Haruka could tell the throwaway comment from last weekend was still burning inside him, eating away at him.
Knowing he could affect Makoto like that, that he took his words to heart shot through Haruka like a jolt of pleasure.
He picked up his pace, working harder, claiming harder, marking harder, well and truly making Makoto a man.
…
They lay on the bed, trying to catch their breath in a pile of tangled limbs.
Haruka wished he could be completely content, he wished he could just enjoy these moments, wished he could fully immerse himself in the post orgasmic pleasure, but instead the fear niggled at him.
If Makoto left him they'd never get to be like this again, someone else would get to hold Makoto, get to please him, get to love him.
Before he had a chance to think the words were tumbling out his mouth, shooting through the heart of the man he loved.
"You're very loud when you cum." Haruka informed him.
"Haru!" Makoto whined, cheeks blushing.
"You sound like a dying whale." He said, affectionate smile on his face despite the words.
"I do?" He asked, even more embarrassed as Haruka nodded.
"I don't mind, I think it's cute." He shrugged, pressing a kiss on his lover's nose. "You're lucky I love you, any other man would have been turned off."
Makoto didn't respond for a while after that, eyes closed as small tears leaked out. Haruka knew he should feel guilty but he knew this is what he needed, what their relationship needed.
After a while Haruka was sure the boy had fallen asleep until a small voice spoke up.
"Thank you for loving me." He whispered, pulling Haruka closer than before.
"I always will." He promised, tightening the hold he had over him.
…
Haruka watched from the side-lines as Makoto powered through the water, looking utterly breath-taking as his strong arms sliced through the restriction.
He was doing well but not good enough, one of the other boys in the race was just faster, with each burst of energy Makoto seemed to have this boy trumped him.
Finishing with a gasp, Makoto looked up at the board to see his name in second place, he'd made an excellent time but it hadn't been enough. Disheartened, he climbed out the pool and walked towards the bleachers, seeking out Haruka
Pushing through the crowd, Haruka joined him and pulled him into a hug when he saw that familiar sad smile.
"It doesn't matter that you lost." Haruka reassured him in hushed tones. "I love you anyway."
"Tachibana!" A boy shouted, walking over to the pair.
Haruka pulled back and scowled at the person who not only interrupted them but had beaten him in the first place.
He'd upset his perfect Makoto, nobody had the right to take away his light, he deserved happiness. But that was what Haruka was there for, to be there when his mood darkened, support him with his love and affection.
"You did well, very impressive." He complimented, lightly slapping the tall boy on the back, the look on Haruka's face darkening.
"Thanks." He grinned.
"Keep going like this and I might not beat you next time." He laughed, walking over to his own team.
Makoto was glowing, the same way he always did whenever he got a compliment, the reassurance he needed to feel proud of himself and his achievements.
Haruka panicked as he watched him, he couldn't get that joy from others, that was his job. He was meant to make his boyfriend smile, not people who wanted to take away the perfection from his life.
"He's lying to you." Haruka mumbled to him.
"He is?" He questioned, his familiar wounded expression filling his features.
"Of course, he wants to keep winning so he lied so you think you're good."
"Why would he do something like that?" Makoto asked, looking over to the boy in slight disgust.
"People can be cruel Makoto. But you can always trust me to be honest with you." He told him, slipping their hands together and lacing their fingers.
"We'll train harder Haru, you and me, and we'll show him." He said with determination.
"Next time you won't fail." Haruka encouraged, knowing that all Makoto would hear from that sentence was fail.
Makoto had failed. He'd not achieved in the way he had hoped. He'd let his entire team down. He'd let Haruka down.
"You'll help me?" He asked, the determined fire gone from inside him.
"Of course." He smiled, bringing his hand up to kiss his knuckles. "I'll always be there to help you."
…
Makoto and Haruka were alone in the changing rooms, the rest of the team were outside, a variety of excited voices seeping through the open doors. Although they hadn't got any new members they had gained a fan base, after being seen in nothing but their swimsuits on various occasions it was becoming quite difficult to keep the hormonal girls at bay.
Being watched never bothered Haruka but what he did dislike was the way their gaze would linger far too long on his Makoto. Drooling over his muscles, squealing when he stretched, giggling as they looked at his defined bulge. He was the clear favourite and Haruka couldn't stand that fact.
Coming up behind him, Haruka wrapped his arms around his waist, pinching the barely there excess fat between his fingers.
"Haru!" Makoto giggled, trying to move away from the attacking fingers.
"I can't help it, I just love your puppy fat." He admitted, kissing between his shoulder blades as the laughter abruptly ended.
"I'm fat?" He croaked, looking down at his flat stomach in disgust.
"It's alright, I like my men with something to hold on to." He laughed, knowing the joke was one sided.
The back handed compliment, he had perfected it over the last few months, delivered them with such practised ease that people barely noticed the snide undertones.
"We should probably head out." Haruka said, detaching himself and holding his hand out for Makoto to take.
"Yeah." He agreed, holding tight to his love and using his other hand to attempt to cover himself up.
Haruka brimmed with satisfaction as Makoto spent most of practice shying away from the attention, hiding behind his boyfriend when he wasn't in the water. Safe from any prying eyes lurking around.
Only around Haruka should he feel comfortable, flaunt his body. Nobody else deserved to see such a sight.
…
Makoto sat in silence in Haruka's bedroom, something was on his mind, was bothering him and for once Haruka had no idea what it was.
"What's wrong?" He asked, climbing into his boyfriends lap.
"It's nothing." Makoto shrugged, basking in the warmth of Haruka's embrace.
"Tell me." He kissed him.
"It's not important." He said, kissing him back.
"Makoto's problems are always important to me." He smiled, gently stroking his boyfriends face.
"Okay." He sighed, gently removing Haruka from his lap and crawling over to his bag.
He produced a piece of homework, one that he had slaved over for hours just the week before. Looking at the marks Haruka realised he'd gotten over half of it wrong. He snatched the paper out his lovers hand and glanced over the work.
It had been a simple mistake on one of the early questions, one that had resulted in all the other equation being off slightly. If anything it had been Haruka's fault as he'd grown tired of waiting for his boyfriend to finish and insisted on pleasuring him as he worked, no doubt taking his focus away from the homework.
"I'm getting worse." Makoto said, letting his head drop onto Haruka's shoulder. "Too stupid for university."
Without even trying he held Makoto's heart in his hand, deciding whether to crush it or to care for it.
"You are." He agreed, dropping the paper and turning around to hold his boyfriend. "But it doesn't matter."
"How can it not matter?" He cried.
"Because I'll look after you." He said simply, pulling his face away to dry the tears from his cheeks.
"I can't expect you to do that." Makoto shook his head.
"I want to." He told him. "I'll get a job and you'll live with me. I'll look after my Makoto."
With a smile Makoto kissed him, knowing no matter how stupid he was, how much of a failure he was, how hideous his body became he would always have Haruka.
"Will that make you happy?" Haruka asked against his lips.
"As long as I'm with Haru I'll always be happy." He promised, pressing his body closer to the other boys, slowly manoeuvring their bodies until they were both on the bed.
As long as Makoto was his Haruka would always be happy.
…
Soon the news travelled that Makoto had no intentions of attending university after he graduated but instead moving in with Haruka. People then decided to get involved in their relationship, meddle with matters that didn't involve them anyway.
They spoke in hushed tones, not wanting to be heard, unaware Haruka lurked nearby listening to each and every word.
"What happened to university?" Rin asked, desperately trying to make the boy see sense. "To study Japanese."
"Not anymore." Makoto shrugged, smile ever present on his face.
"You were going to teach! You always wanted to give something back through a subject you loved!" He shouted.
"I can't."
"Why the hell not?" He cried.
"I'm not smart enough, not talented enough." He admitted. "This is as far as I can go."
"So you're just giving up? What about your future?" He begged.
"Haru is my future." He said firmly, it was the only thing he was certain of anymore.
"You don't need to do all this just to be with Haru! If he loved you he'd let you go and live your dream rather than trying to control you!" Rin exclaimed, long ago having picked up Haruka's manipulation.
"No!" Makoto shouted, raising his voice for the first time. "I love Haru and we're going to be together."
"Not by being his fucking house wife!" He shouted, slamming his fist into the nearby lockers.
"Nobody will ever love me like Haru does." He said calmly, a statement he'd heard whispered in his ear many times late at night, when they cuddled, when they made love. "We're going to be together forever, happy together."
"Fine! I give up with you." He growled, stomping away from him.
But they both knew it was a lie, Rin would be back every day, he always was and he always would be until Makoto was saved.
…
"He doesn't love you." Haruka announced one night over dinner.
"What do you mean Haru?" Makoto asked, tilting his head in confusion.
"Rin." He explained. "He doesn't love you like I do."
"I know." He nodded, knowing Haruka heard there talks most days but just chose to never mention it.
"He wants to see you hurt, see you alone." He complained.
"He's just doing what he thinks is best, he doesn't mean any harm." Makoto defended, trying to sooth his anger but only added fuel to the fire.
"He thinks I'm not good enough for you Makoto!" He shouted, hands tightening by his side. "But he's wrong, isn't he?"
"He doesn't think that." He said, never once denying Haruka's question.
"Maybe I should just listen to him then." Haruka yelled, moving to stand away from the table. "If that's what you too think I'll just leave you."
"Haru please!" Makoto scrambled after him, firmly gripping his leg, Haruka was his life line and he couldn't lose him.
Haruka looked down at his boyfriend, tears pouring down his face as he looked up at him with complete adoration. He'd be lost without him, he'd be empty, he'd be incomplete. Makoto finally needed him. His perfect Makoto was finally all his.
"Don't leave me." Makoto whispered.
"Never." He affirmed, dropping to his knees. "I will always be here for you."
Smiling through his tears, Makoto threw himself at his boyfriend, holding tightly to the sunshine in his life.
…
"I'm home!" Haruka called, walking into their home.
He listened to the familiar excited scramble as Makoto ran through the house and into Haruka's arms.
"You're back!" He exclaimed, as if it were a moment he was thankful for each day.
"Of course." He laughed, pulling away. "Did you miss me?"
"So much!" He agreed, taking his hand and leading him towards the living room.
Once in the room he pushed him onto the sofa, pressing a chaste kiss on his lips before shutting his laptop and walking into the kitchen.
It was how he spent all his days, writing a novel while he waited for Haruka to return, alone in this cold house. He wanted to do something for Makoto, provide him with companionship during his lonely days.
"I've been thinking." Haruka announced when Makoto returned to the room, placing a hot tea on the table next to him.
"What about?" He asked, sitting down next to him and snuggling into his open arms.
"Maybe I should get you a kitten." He told him, basking in the grin that spread across his boyfriends face.
"Really? You'd do that for me?" He gushed.
"Of course."
"Yes! Let's get a kitten." He cried, kissing his boyfriend enthusiastically.
Slowly Makoto pulled back, smiling down as he took in each and every feature of the others face. Looking at the boy who made his life worthwhile, that gave him meaning.
"What?" Haruka asked.
"I'm just so lucky to have Haru." He said, affectionately rubbing their noses together.
"I'm the lucky one." He disagreed.
"I love you." Makoto told him.
"I love you too." Haruka replied. "I always will."
Makoto was perfect. He was weak, he was defeated, he was unsure, he was foolish. He had a slightly broken smile, his laughter sometimes came out hollow, he belonged truly to another person.
Everything Haruka wasn't.
…
So, I'm just going to leave this here