Disclaimer: I don't own the Percy Jackson universe. If I did, there would have been more of Percy's friends in the Heroes of Olympus Series. (Where're Grover and Clarisse? And seriously, Percy's mom only got a page.) The rights to Percy Jackson belong to Rick Riordan.
Author's Note: I'm so sorry I haven't updated recently. I've recently rediscovered several fandoms, and my focus has been scattered. I have also had some recent hitches in the road when it comes to my life, and am struggling to find myself. Cliche? Yes, but it's what fits. This particular story was written quite a while ago, but the final draft was typed up today.
Rating: K+
Warning: Implied Death, Poison, Monsters.
Summary: "She realizes she's been alive for five lifetimes now, including her own, and she feels so tired." Thalia struggles to face the fact that she's been left behind in a world that wants her to move on. Bookverse, after everything. Way after.
Pairing: Implied Could-Have-Been Thuke. Or Cace. (Castellan-Grace)
Remember the Dead
valkyriecain2110
She realises that she's been alive for five lifetimes now, including her own, and she feels so tired. She would never think about leaving her mistress, but after so long, she just wants to sleep. She barely remembers them now, Nico, Zoe, Percy, and Annabeth. She's driven out the thoughts of a boy turned man who was like her brother, and could have been more if he hadn't wanted to avenge her and she hadn't wanted to just escape.
She thinks that Chiron is the only one who remembers her now. She goes to camp to see how much it's changed every few decades, and the campers regard her with hostility(she's a hunter), curiousity (someone new), and fear (someone different).
They don't whisper that she was once the old pine tree on the hill or that she's a daughter of Zeus (not supposed to be alive) because her father has other children now, new children, perfect children. They look to him with awe and respect, and they worship his every move. They aren't afraid of heights, and are just as dramatic, just like him. They're not scared of their fates, because they don't have a prophecy looming over them, and they don't fight because they're "leaders" and leaders don't fight... They stay back and let other people fight for them, and when it all looks dark, they arrive with lightning crashing from the sky. Of course they're always the favourites of the camp, even if they were a bit arrogant. They don't rebel against their father because they have no reason to. He pretends he isn't playing favourites, but still helps them during quests, still guides them... Still loves them. Sometimes she hears a voice telling her that she's just being dramatic, just jealous, just afraid of being forgotten... She knows that little voice is right.
Her father isn't the only one who's moved on after her and her friends. Poseidon has more children now, and they're sullen and moody, and not very friendly - worst of all, they're not Percy. Percy the Seaweed Brain, Percy, whose head was full of kelp. Saviour of Olympus, the (not) Prophecy Child, best friend, cousin, and brother. Gods, but she missed him. There was no one to banter with - not when everyone else either was afraid of he, or thought she was insane. Am I? Father answer me, am I? Tell me Father, please. Answer me, talk to me, please! I'm begging you - just acknowledge I exist. . . Father, why?
He never answered. She stopped praying.
Maybe it was her fault she had been replaced.
Hermes acts like he's forgotten, now. He pretends that he isn't broken. She was with him, though, and saw him when he realized his son was dead. He says he's moved on, but she knows that it killed him when his latest fling resulted in another son - one named Luke. He looks exactly like him. No one knows why she flinches, why she's sad when she hears that name or sees him - because, of course, the gods wouldn't want to remember the times when they screwed up. She remembers though, and will continue to relive the day she walked into a throne room and saw a broken man who wore a broken smile - because once upon a time, he lived in a broken home. Luke, poor Luke. Golden haired and azure eyed, he was beautiful once. Then came the monsters, and they ran together - but no one knew that even before the monsters came, Thalia and Luke were best friends without last names (because no one wanted the name of someone who rejected them).
Hades was rejected once, but now, at least he is respected. Just another reason Percy should be remembered (but he's not, he's been forgotten - just another dead hero).The Hades cabin is empty, and has remained empty. (She struggles to remember when it wasn't, and knows that before that, there was no cabin.) The god of the Underworld always kept his promise. Even Nico and Bianca were born before the oath was sworn. Nico, oh Nico. They respect his father, but forget the son, forget the hero, the reason why Hades is accepted in the halls and walkways of Mount Olympus. No one knows who Nico Di Angelo is, or that he spent a brief stint as a dandelion. They don't know that he liked McDonalds, or played Mythomagic, or that he's the reason there's a figurine of her father in her parka's pocket. The King of Ghosts is but a ghost now, even if his father wanted him to stay alive forever once.
The other Hunters sometimes ask who the constellation in the sky is, but she doesn't know what to say because the woman she replaced was so much better than her(even if she spoke in Ye Olde English), and she's not quite sure if her mistress would mind her saying anything (because five hundred years isn't quite enough time for a goddess to mourn the lives of those who have died serving her).
When she goes to Olympus, she runs her hands over the smooth marble, the statues, and the dedications, and she remembers a little girl in an alley who wore flannel pyjamas, and a knife and a promise that was almost broken. She recalls a brilliant teen, and a strategist who dreamed of being an architect. The girl she thought of as her little sister became the woman who happily married the man of her life. She cried when he died, and was tired when she followed. ("Annabeth, don't leave me." She begs in her dreams. 'Don't let me be alone.') She could have never have kept that promise. She finds herself going to Olympus more. 'Just so she can remember,' she explains. She was there when this was designed, and there when it was built, and she will be cursed before she lets herself forget that.
The other girls whisper that she is ignoring her duty, that's she's too old - but she's not old, she's immortal, and she can't age (because when she was furious and young and proud, she made a decision). It's why she's still alive when everyone she knew (and loved) is dead.
So she immerses herself in memories of battles and wars and prophecies not understood. There are crazy cousins, and nieces and relatives that don't count. She relives tears and screams and forgotten promises, and oaths. Her memories are of traitors and betrayals, and lost hope that couldn't help but resurface (because there was still one thing left in that pitos), but there are also happy times. The ones where she was part of a family (and she fit) and had friends were the best. There were heroes lost and found, and strategies and games and stories around campfires that soared seventy feet in the air.
She knows that it's unhealthy, and she knows they she's crazy - but how can she help it when all she knows is that she's supposed to move on? She can't help it that the past captures her attention more than the future ever could, and she's engulfed in half-forgotten conversations and voices.
She panics when she can't remember Annabeth's voice, or Percy's face. When she finds a figurine of her father in her parka's pocket, she can't remember why it's there. She pauses in the middle of telling a joke because she realizes she doesn't know where she first heard it. When a new Hunter asks the name of a constellation in the sky (the one of the girl with the bow in her hand), she stays silent because as much as she racks her brain, she doesn't know.
Grover helps. When she sees him, she can't help but remember defying a fury, of running from a cyclops. They're bad memories, but they help her keep in mind the people she left sit down sometimes, and talk about camp, the last monster they saw, the latest place the West has moved (she forgets that she once lived in a place called America)... In the end, it's because she tries to remember that she forgets.
Maybe they'll forgive her for that, she thinks as she coughs up blood.
The two girls with her are distracting the Chimera, but not before it manages to drive a barbed tail dripping with poison into her stomach.
Echidna glares. "How are you still alive?" She demands.
"I've had practice." She says hoarsely - right before a drives a knife into the monster's flabby neck.
Echidna screeches and manages to claw her throat before she is blown away by the wind.
"This is bad." She mutters as she stumbles into a sitting position. She tries to stop the bleeding with a piece of her parka. Her circlet slides and she curses as her hair plasters to the gash in her throat.
The two girls come running over. What were their names? She struggles to remember through the haze of pain. Her vision turns black, and all of a sudden, she's burning. She braces herself on the ground as she vomits up breakfast and a liter of blood.
"Lieutenant!" one shrieks.
"Ohmigods, ohmigods, ohmigods." the other hyperventilates.
She shoots them a venomous look. She's trying to stop her innards from coming up, and they're the ones panicking?
"Ambrosia." she manages to get out between retches. They should be trying to force feed her right about now.
Maybe they weren't that worried because they didn't actually like her? She hadn't been that involved with the other Hunter recently. Maybe - her heart plummets while the contents in her stomach try to fly - maybe they think she's useless. She's tried all of her long (too long, her soul murmurs) to be of use. She struggles to not be forgotten, to be respected and needed. Now... No one remembers, and she stays in Olympus all the time instead of hunting, and the new members probably hate her...
She just feels so tired.
Maybe she could just close her eyes for a little bit, and take a quick nap.
Sleep sounds so good...
Her eyelids lower, and she hears the yells of her subordinates grow fainter.
She feels a cool touch on her forehead, and sighs when Hypnos away.
"Mistress?" she asks opening her electric blue eyes. Five hundred years have given her respect for this goddess.
"Yes, Thalia?"
"Please don't forget me." she says.
The cooling hand rises away, and she feels something pushed into her hand. She looks and sees a statuette of her father. She smiles faintly.
"I won't." Her mistress promises. Artemis' voice sounds choked. She wonders why for a second, but then the thought drifts out her mind when she sees Hypnos once more.
"Thank you." She breathes out.
Hypnos smiles at her and holds her in a warm embrace. He looks like Luke.
Crying, the goddess of the moon slips one golden coin under her lieutenant's tongue, and another in her left hand.
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