A/N Ever wondered what Xemnas' life was really like before Organization XIII? (Yeah, I know the whole "scientist's apprentice thing). But imagine if that wasn't all…
Please read, I know you'll enjoy it! This story provides a healthy supply of Vitamin C!
…Okay, no it doesn't.
It started out as just an ordinary day in Organization XIII.
Axel, Roxas, and Zexion were sitting on the couch, watching a 24-hour House marathon, when Vexen entered the room.
"What vulgar ARE you watching?" he asked, disgusted.
Roxas smiled sweetly. "We're watching House. Wanna join?" he asked, taking a big lick out of his sea-salt ice-cream bar.
Vexen shook his head and took the remote. "Repulsive," he said, and switched to the Discovery Channel.
"Aw c'mon, man, it was just about to get good!" Axel whined.
"SSSHHHHhhhh…" mumbled Vexen, who was listening to the narrator of the show that was playing.
"The female desert armadillo and the male desert armadillo build a home together by digging a nice hole in the sand…"
Everyone groaned. Vexen sat down close to the TV and started watching intently.
"When living in the wild, it is important that the baby armadillos stay with their parents. Who knows what dangers could be lurking…"
"Guys! Guys! Guys!" screamed Demyx, who was running down the hallway. Everyone looked around.
"Did you guys hear something?" said Axel, sure that he had just heard someone scream.
"Guys! Guys! Guys! G—"
THUMP!
They all turned around in time to see Demyx smash his face against the wall, since in his excitement he missed the door.
"Watch now as a large vulture rips the baby armadillo's head clean off. Poor little armadillo…"
"Guys, guess what I found in Xemnas' room!" Demyx gasped, out of breath.
"A flame-thrower?" shouted Axel, excited.
"Inaccessible knowledge?" shouted Zexion.
"A life-time supply of sea-salt ice-cream?" shouted Roxas.
"Wha—NO!" shouted Demyx, a little annoyed. "I found this!" he exclaimed, holding up a DVD. "It was under some file called, 'Watch When I'm Dead.'"
Everyone cocked their heads to the side. Before they could all ask what it was, Demyx had already inserted the DVD into the player.
"You know, you really shouldn't be going through the Superior's things…" started Vexen,
"Ashushshushshush…" mumbled Demyx, who pressed the play button, and grabbed a seat next to Zexion.
The screen went fuzzy for a moment, and then came into focus. There was no mistaking the catchy salsa music that started to play.
"Dancing With the Stars…?" started Zexion.
"Shuuuuuuuuuuuushhhhhhhhhh!" snapped Demyx, who turned the volume up.
"Today on the show, we have some unusual guests dancing for us here tonight," said the host of the show. "Please welcome, Xavier and his partner, Sierra!"
The audience went quite, the lights came on, and the dancers came on to the stage.
"Is that…" said Roxas.
"No, it can't be…" gasped Axel.
Demyx was too shocked to shush them.
The male dancer, or "Xavier" as he was called, wore black spandex and a poofy red shirt on top. His silver hair was tied back in a long, flowing ponytail, almost hidden under the large sombrero. As he danced, his golden eyes flashed.
"SEXMAN?" Everyone screamed.
They all watched in horror as their faithful leader leaped across the stage, swiveling his hips and tapping his feet.
"Oh, Oh!" moaned Roxas, clutching his stomach.
Zexion turned around and started violently throwing up behind the couch. All of the color drained from Axel's face, including his purple teardrop tattoos. Demyx was crying softly.
It was too much for Vexen. "I can't take it!" he screamed, jumping out an open window. (Keep in mind, their castle floats in the never ending space.)
As for Xemnas' partner, she wore a skimpy red dress that seemed to be made completely out of beads, and her long blue hair kept them from seeing her face. As she swished her dress around and around, performing perfect lifts, she slowly turned her face towards the camera, revealing the unique scar between two yellow eyes.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" they all screamed, realizing who "she" was.
"Why Saix? WHY?" cried Roxas, looking up at the ceiling with agony.
"Why what?" said a familiar voice behind them. Axel quickly whipped out his flaming chakrams and hurled them at the TV, so that nobody would ever have to see it in High Definition EVER AGAIN.
Roxas squeaked and threw his ice-cream up in surprise. They all turned around to see Saix standing there, now with an ice-cream pop stuck to his forehead.
"Oh, hi Saix," said Roxas, trying to act normal.
The Berserker just growled and peeled the ice-cream off his face. "What are you idiots doing?" he asked. "And what's wrong with Zexion?"
Zexion was still puking his guts out on to the floor. Saix shrugged and continued. "I need you people to expose of this junk immediately," he said, holding up a large garbage bag.
Demyx was puzzled. "Well, what's in it?" he asked, regarding the bag.
Saix leaned in very close to Demyx, until they were nose to nose, their foreheads touching. "Something I should have gotten rid of a long time ago," he whispered, and then he left.
Zexion finally wiped his mouth, and shuddered. "Never again!" he said, glaring at Demyx.
Axel grabbed at his face. "I will always have that memorized!" he moaned in pain.
Roxas kicked the bag that Saix had left behind. "Wonder what's in here?" he asked.
"Oh no!" said Zexion, being the boring one in charge and all. "We are not looking through other people's stuff again, not after what we just witnessed," he said.
They all shuddered again, and stood there, staring at the bag.
Paused silence.
Axel slowly started to turn around, and then grabbed the bag as fast as he could, and ran with it to his room, where Demyx, Zexion, and Roxas soon followed.
Once there, Demyx quickly locked the door, and they all crowded around. "Now," said Zexion. "We need to make sure that it doesn't look like we opened it. Otherwise…"
But Roxas had already taken his keyblade, and slashed it down the side. The contents of the bag soon spilled out, covering the entire floor.
Axel sighed. "It's just a bunch of old clothes," he said.
Demyx gasped and picked up a blue necktie with starfish on it. "I gave this to him as a birthday present," he said sadly.
Zexion reached in as well. "Hey, this isn't just clothes," he said. He grabbed a thick, black book with fancy symbols on it. "Why is the Lexicon in here?" he cried, dusting it off.
Roxas closed his eyes and reached inside. "Gaaaahhhhh!" he cried. Pluto jumped out of the pile and ran out of the room barking happily. "WoofWoofWoofWoooooff!" ("I'm free, I'm freeee!")
"Oh this is ridiculous!" cried Demyx. He realized that nobody else was saying anything. "Uh, guys?" he said.
They were all staring at something in the pile, their eyes wide with fear. Demyx followed their eyes and looked into the pile. There, lying in the center was a red dress entirely made out of beads; a puffy red shirt; black spandex; and a photo.
Zexion slowly picked up the photo. It was a picture of "Xavier" and "Sierra," dancing.
Just then, Xigbar pounded on the door. "Yo, it's time for dinner!" he yelled.
Roxas leaped up. "Fooooood!" he shouted, and bolted out the door. Actually, more like rammed through it, making a Roxas-sized hole in the door.
Xigbar peaked through the hole and saw the photo in Zexion's hand. "What's that?" he asked suspiciously.
Zexion hid it behind his back. "Nothing!" they all shouted at the same time.
Xigbar shrugged. "Well, whatever it is, the blue-haired one is HOT!"
Everyone in the room went strangely quiet, trying to process what he had just said. Zexion clutched his stomach. "Oh, God!" he moaned, and ran to the bathroom.
Hope you loved my first chaptah, and it's only just the beginning! (Poor Zexy!)
Please review, comment, suggest things, and subscribe, yadayadayada. Every review counts as a birthday present I never got! T_T Not really. ;)