* I've called this story If You Look At Me because that's an english title of my favourite song of Alejandro Sanz. This song matches pretty well to describe the kind of relationship between Brendan and Ste that I want to develop in this story. The start of it is when Ste is supposed to leave Hollyoaks with Noah and Brendan invites them to have a drink together in the club. What happens when Ste comes to the office? Have a nice time

Chapter 1

Ste POV

I walk into the office and … I dont know what is exactly what I expect. First I put my neck and head into the room saying -Bren? In the offfice is quite dark. Then I come in cause nobody answers. I am surprised and angry at myself to come here, to play his rules as always.

–Brendan! – I say again more furiously than ever for being so stupid, so naïve. But suddenly I hear the sound of key in the keyhole, I turn around and there he is… Casual clothes, black clothes, black hair and most amazing look I ve ever seen. He stares at me for awhile and that is enough to make me feel a bit uncomfortable in my own skin.

Bren POV

- Hello Stephen, nice to see you, especially in that light – I said. He looked surprised and… I don't know …maybe a little awkard. I didn't know why, He knew I wanted him to come into the office to chat. So I tried to make it easier for him. – It has been a long time we two were here together alone, don't you think? Too long, I'd say. – It's too dark so I couldn't see his face properly but I knew he felt the same I did, he must have felt the same, he… must have felt the same cause … He is mine.

Ste POV

I start to play with my sleeves, I always do that when I feel uncomfortable or scared or … excited and I don't know how to react or what to do. Well what I do know is that I can't be weak now. Not after so long time without my vice, not after what he has done to me and… what I ve done to him, we ve done to each other. Its pointless to carry on with that. – What do you want? – I ask.

Bren POV

-Funny… A time ago you came into this office and I asked you the same thing. Remember what did you answered? He remembered. I know he did. So I came closer to him, closer, I touched his cheek gently and said – Same thing as you…Stephen.

Ste POV

I remove his fingers from my face quickly enough to not feel the warm of his body and firmly say - Be with Noah, leave with him to Newcastle, have a fresh start and a normal life in a proper relationship? Really? Didn't know you were that cheesy… I am sure of what I am saying and of what I am feeling of what I want to do with my future, I AM SURE! I AM.

Bren POV

- You know Stephen, all this could be so much easier without this crap.- I couldn't help myself. –I ain't here to chat about meaningless things such as your future, your plans, your gym bunny or whatever…You really think I am still interested in this, in you? -I did my best not to let him think that he means anything to me cause … he doesn't. He never did... Full stop.

-Then? You wanted to talk, right? - he asked me and I needed to prove to him and to me that I am over him, over us…

- I didn't want you to leave with this bad impression of mine you have. You know Stephen, I am not as bad as you reckon. - I opened the bottle of whiskey and poured into two glasses, one for me and the second one for him. Although he's rejected at the beginning, in awhile he is drinking with me gladly and relaxed.

-Funny… that seems to be familiar, too… I smiled looking into his eyes with my glass in the left hand. Meanwhile my right hand caressesed his cheek. This time he didn't reject my touch.

Ste POV

Suddenly I realize what he is doing. What the hell I am doing here with him drinking his whiskey and letting him seduce me one more time. Can't be so stupid, can I? I stand up as fast as possible and I literally run out of his office. In the club are so many people that I can't see where Noah is. So I ask for him a few friends, they don't know and that is strange. Noah is not like that. He wouldn't go without me just like that. I decide to go out to find him and come back home maybe.

Bren POV

I was in the office, alone, sorry, with a glass of whiskey in my hand. I drunk it and poured myself once again so that I could think clearly, think what to do next… After fourth glass of Jameson I have had a vision… a plan has just made itself in my head. Phone, where the fuck is my phone?

Ste POV

I can't find Noah anywhere so I come back home hoping that he will be back soon, too. Maybe he saw me entering into the office, maybe he thought that I don't want him anymore… I owe him an explanation then. I'll wait for him and I'll take care that nothing, nobody is gonna change our plans. Ring bell? At this time? Who can be? Noah? No, he has his own keys, right? But maybe something happened and he lost them.

Bren POV

- Hi, again… Hahhh Don't want to be impertinent, but we havent finish, have we? – I am a little bit drunk, I thought. Otherwise I would never ever be there cause I don't… is that I aint… he means nothing to me. But I am the one who has the control not he and he aint gonna determine how this is gonna finish, if is gonna finish. Hmm

-You aint invite me inside Stephen? You should brush up on your manners Stevie boy.

-I thought I made myself perfectly clear when I told you about my plans. – he said. Like if I'd cared..

-And I made myself clear when I told you I don't care anymore, right?

-Yeah like if you'd ever cared!

-Point! I never cared so I don't care! Simple as that?

-Get out of my house! I don't want to see you never again in my life! I hate you!

-Calm down Stephen…

-No! I aint calm down, I am not gonna do what you told me anymore!

-Just calm down and lets talk over it okay? – I am trying to touch his neck and cheek but he doesn't let me, he pushes my hand away.

-We don't need to talk over anything, simply cause you and me don't exist, we , Brendan, don't have any problems to sort out cause we have nothing. We are nothing, not even mates.

-Look Stephen, you re angry and I get that. You need space to think okay? That's fine, but things will sort out you know…

-Haah What are you talking about? What? Tomorrow I leave Hollyoaks for good, Brendan.

-No..

-Yes, I do.

-No, no, no, no…. Hmm – I am nodding my head.- You are not going anywhere, you are staying here..

-No..

-Shut up! You are staying here cause… you… your place is here with your kids, you re a father…

-NO! Stop! – he moved to the doors shownig me my way to go

-Come back here Stephen! I didn't finish with you so come back here.

-Okay, you don't want to get out of my house then I will do it or this I cant do either? – he put his hoodie on his back.

-I said come back here! Stephen! – I ran after him trying to stop him but that aint so easy after five glasses of whiskey.

Ste POV

What for he comes to my house? I need to find Noah, talk to him. And that aint so easy when you have Mr Brady after your back. Where he can be?

-Stephen wait…please… I cant anymore. I need to stop for awhile, please.

-You know what you are? – I stop for a minute and he can hardly take his breathe and look at me.

-You are one of the biggest mistakes in my life, the biggest one!

- Well, what can I say I am always in the first place, I am always …on top. – he looks straight into my eyes.

-If being in the first place of hatred ranking makes you happy, I don't mind.

-The thing is, Stephen, that I am the first one in any other rankings, too. That's quite problematic matter, don't you think?

-The thing is, Brendan, that one of these all rankings is out of your system. You are not nominated in this category and you never will. – I say to him and turn back to walk away and find Noah.

Bren POV

-What is one fail against so many triumphs and victories?

-We re done. I don't have anything else to tell you.

-Ohh you're not the one who decides… Steph…. Stephen! Ok. Good.

He walked away to find his gym bunny, I quess.

Ste POV

-That's imposssible, tell me its not what I see, please Noah… You are not…

-Ste, I… Don't think bad about me, Ste.

-Yeahh Stephen, don't think bad about him. They ve just had a small relaxtion massage in the hot tub. – I turn around and I see Brendan with his victory smile and sarcastic voice having a great fun of me. That is the last thing I can stand. I hate him! I hate Noah! I hate...both of them. I can't be here anymore. I need to ran away as far as possible from them.

- Well Stephen, I suppose I'll go now…Hmmm…Just look – he looks up to the stars - What a lovely night.- then he turns back to me saying - See you tomorrow at work ! –and walks away.

-Ste I think we need to talk. – I hear Noah's voice.

Bren POV

What a wonderful end of the day. Hmmm…I couldn't help to smile to the mirror. And tomorrow will be a wonderful beginning of the day. Isn't wonderful the world? Okay. SLEEP.