The sheet was the only thing lying over Steph when she awoke, but she was more than warm enough, given they were steadily twirling towards summer. Beneath her head was her own pillow and her own mattress and, oh, it felt so good to finally be home.
The past two weeks had been rather...rough, to say the least. And being on the road for them hadn't helped anything. It was relaxing, to just be in her own house, if only for a short while, and just decompress from all the drama. Drama that, of course, was her fault, but still tedious nonetheless.
Blinking her eyes open, she found that she was facing the other side of the bed where there should have been someone else, but rather just an empty space. When she ran her hand up the mattress, the sheet was cool.
He'd been gone for awhile.
Which wouldn't have been that big of a deal, a few weeks ago. Days ago, even. When he was still very much so in a relationship (though he told Steph frequently it was basically dead; then again, what guy doesn't) and had commitments in that regard. Spending the night was just out of the question. Too much risk, not enough reward.
Now though, that everything was out and he very much so wasn't attached to anyone else, Steph had just thought…
She realized then that her stomach had been clenched, before, and only recognized it as it relaxed. Okay. So he wasn't there. Because, even if he wasn't with someone else, he still didn't want to…
That was fine. Honestly. They hadn't discussed it yet (they'd avoided it quite well, for two people who were forced to interact weekly) and she'd just wrongfully assumed exactly what kind of relationship they were going to have. Alright. She wouldn't do that again.
The whole thing started the other day, after the show, when Paul asked her if she wanted to do anything during their off days.
It had been said in the most basic of ways. Almost in passing. Since they'd been fully outed as together, to everyone in the company, Paul had had some of his own, personal stuff to deal with.
Namely, the fact that he'd been cheating on his girlfriend with Stephanie and had to get all of that resolved because, you know, it most certainly fell into a work category as well. Very much so.
He was, after all, dating one of, if not the, top females on the entire roster. You know, the one that he was living with and (debatably, he insisted to Steph a lot, but she had her doubts) engaged to and that could totally kick Steph's ass all day, every day?
Yeah, that one.
The safest bet for Stephanie, she figured, was to let Joanie and Paul handle their shit on their own and stay as far away from it as possible. She was a coward, fine, she'd accept it. Whatever.
Paul was worth the dirty looks she got and the way her father was slowly beginning to truly detest her, but damn, he wasn't worth being killed over.
So, when the dust had settled and Paul asked Steph that, the other night, if they'd be doing anything together, she couldn't help the part of her that had wanted to dig her claws into him, but been scared of, you know, the beaten up thing, as she informed him that she wanted to go out on a date.
"A real date," she added as Paul, who was taking a sip from water bottle, almost choked.
Swallowing, he asked, "What does that mean? Real? What-"
"We haven't had a...real…" Stephanie glanced around and, though some of the backstage crew were milling around, no one was paying them any mind. Leaning closer to him, she said, "This will be the first time that we've gone out since you've been single and I… It'll be like our first date."
Which got some blinks out of Paul, as well as frowns, but with a shake of his head and a sigh, he mumbled something of agreement.
"I have to be back in Connecticut though, tomorrow," she informed him. "Is that a problem? Or-"
"I'll go with you."
Which, in no uncertain terms, was kind of like him inviting himself to stay the next few days at her place.
Right?
Maybe?
Kind of?
Stephanie wasn't sure.
He didn't fly with her, anyways, as he claimed he had to go home and take care of some stuff (she took that to mean he meant some more dissolution of his relationship stuff; they had been living together, after all, which would take some adjustments), but he'd drive down to Connecticut the following day.
"And then we can drive to the next venue together," he offered. "If we don't completely hate one another by the time it rolls around."
Which was a lot to deal with, all at once. Steph and Paul had ridden together, once, to a show, but it had just been from RAW's location to Smackdown's, which took about three hours or so, and someone else came with them. The only reason they did it, even, was because they were working on lines together.
It was actually during that period where they were kind of sorta broken up. If you can be broken up with someone when you're dating someone else. Steph felt like you could be. She'd gotten tired of his insistence that, yes, he was living with his girlfriend still, but she was an ex, definitely an ex, and it was just because they couldn't afford otherwise.
Stephanie honestly wasn't so sure she ever bought that, but rather just wanted Paul so much that she ignored the illogical aspects of his lie.
Perhaps a mixture.
Before she could even be worried though about possibly driving somewhere together, she had to figure out their first date. Paul, clearly, hadn't enjoyed her calling it that, but she didn't care. Sneaking around in one another's hotel rooms, driving two towns away from where the venue was to catch a quick dinner, and edging one another towards hooking up backstage because the thrill was just too much did not count as dates. Any of those. At all.
Stephanie wanted a real first date and he was going to give her one.
"Alright," he said over the phone as he drove into town the next day. "Well, where do you wanna go then? You decide yet?"
"Obviously to dinner."
"Obviously."
"And...I dunno. What do you wanna do?"
"I'm not...really interested in doing much right now," he told her and, though his voice was even, she could tell by his tone that he was slightly annoyed. Paul had been in a bad mood over the whole thing, what with most of the guys in the locker room feeling betrayed (Steph knew he wasn't using her, or at least she hoped, but that didn't mean that anyone else had to believe that), the whole cheating thing, and Vince breathing down his neck, angry over, well, the other two things, Paul had a lot on his plate. Steph knew that. She felt a lot of it too.
But that didn't mean she didn't want to get her first date in and soon.
It wasn't easy for her either. The past year hadn't been. Knowing that he was (technically, he'd always add) with someone else and that she was definitely the other woman, compared very little to when everyone knew that she had been the other woman. She was still the boss' daughter, so a lot wouldn't say anything to her face, but that perhaps was even worse.
They loved Chyna. Steph though, was just that woman that was the daughter of Vince that hung around a lot when she was a little girl, to some of the older guys, and that they had to respect because of that. Or at least that's how she felt, when the news broke.
So fine, Paul took the brunt of everything, but Steph suffered too.
Which wasn't to say she didn't deserve it. She knew she did. She wasn't the victim in all that had went on. Not in the slightest. But…
That didn't make it any easier to deal with.
Paul was the type that when things got difficult, he dealt with them internally. Stephanie, by comparison, would rather gush out all her feelings and have someone help her sort them out. And she wanted Paul to be that person, that time, regardless of his resistance or need to sort things out on his own end first.
So when he showed up that day, Steph was waiting on him. They didn't even go inside the house. She met him at the door and then they were off, back out to his car, to head out on their date.
Steph knew the area better than him, of course, and picked the restaurant. Not that he wanted to anyways. He wasn't purposely being distant, she knew that, he just had a lot on his mind. It didn't make her feel any better about basically being ignored, the second they got in that car together.
"If you don't wanna be here, Paul," she began at the restaurant, after a waiter had taken their order, and she began to try talking to the man only to find him mostly staring off and saying next to nothing, "then you could have just said so. Driving all the way down here was stupid if-"
"What are you talking about?" That had caught his attention. Frowning over at her, Paul said, "I haven't done anything."
"That's the point." She was trying hard not to sound annoyed as she shrugged. "If you'd rather have not come all the way down here, that was fine. You should have said so. You didn't have to-"
"Steph, I want to be here."
"You're not even paying attention to-"
"I just have a lot on my mind." And one of his hands snaked across the table then, it being much bigger and covering hers completely as he laid it over it. A fake grin was forced onto his face then, but she appreciated the effort. "I asked you out. Remember?" At her nod, he said, "Good. If I don't want to do something, I just don't do it."
Which was a weird thing to say, to the woman that you'd promised for over a year you'd leave your other girlfriend, only to be forced into doing so rather than choosing when the other girlfriend found out.
But you know, whatever.
He bought her dessert, so Steph was kind of just letting him get away with everything.
After dinner, neither had ever pinned down what they were wanting to do, so they just went for a walk. They were in the middle of the city, so they were certain that something would find their attention. Steph was very big of holding hands and Paul had no problems with her fingers falling in the spaces between his. He even gripped, just slightly, wanting to keep her close.
What she didn't get was that he wasn't ignoring her. Not purposely, at least. Just being around her was enough for him. They didn't have to talk. He'd prefer if they didn't, at the moment, actually, so that he could just be. Not have to worry about saying the wrong thing. The last thing that he wanted at the moment was to end up on the outs with Stephanie too.
They eventually found themselves at a movie that neither really wanted to go to, but heading back to her place so early didn't sound good either and there were only so many times that you could walk up and down the same streets.
It felt almost like...something was gone. Maybe. To Steph. They weren't joking around or talking, like they usually would, and if that was a true first date with just some random guy, she probably wouldn't have gone on a second.
Was that it then? It hadn't been this whirlwind attraction that they felt for one another that brought them together, but rather the concept of it being so very very wrong and now that it was less wrong and more known, it just wasn't going to be fun anymore?
Or were they just having an off day?
When they did find themselves back at her house, there was only one thing that Paul wanted to do. He made it known too, before they even got out of the car, capturing her lips in a searing kiss as she turned to unbuckle her seat belt.
And Stephanie should have been stronger. Should have told him that, clearly, things were just awkward, for the time being, and that she was sorry for making him come all the way down there and she just wasn't feeling it.
Only she was feeling it. Then. The second he kissed her. Ooh, she felt it.
"Paul," she muttered as one of his hands came up to mat his fingers in her hair not allowing her to pull back very far. His eyes were dark, but hers were alight, just from that. A smile tugging at her lips then, she said, "C'mon. Let's go inside."
And shit, how could she ever think that they weren't going to work? They were just doing the wrong activity, rather, that day. Who needed dates? When they connected so much better with...after hour activities?
Which didn't bode well for them, fine, on the date front, but she was still banking on his sour attitude being the cause. Understandably sour, but still disruptive to what she was trying to get going.
Not all first dates are great though. She was just going to have to plan their next one when he wasn't feeling so low about everything that was going on.
Which brought her right back to where she was, lying in bed alone. Rightfully alone, probably.
Maybe always.
Because maybe Paul didn't want that aspect of their relationship to change. Maybe he didn't sleep over, not because he had a woman waiting for him back home that he had to call and check in with, as well as whatever guilt swirled in around about that (it made things much more personal, Steph felt, waking up to someone in the morning), but rather just because he flat didn't want to.
It was just something that they were going to have to figure out, apparently.
Maybe she'd been expecting to be let down on that end of things, she wondered, as she settled into her pillow once more. She was hoping to. To punish herself. That waking up with him there, with her, would have just been too much for her to handle.
That was the only way she could explain the lack of disappointment she was feeling.
Either that or she was too tired to put much thought into exactly what she was feeling.
Then it happened.
There was a noise. Her front door, all the way on the other side of the house, slamming shut. Then a curse. Not soon after, the steps of someone coming down her hall and her bedroom door creaking open.
Sitting up in surprise, Steph stared at Paul in shock as he came into the bedroom, a bag in one hand. "What are you- Why are you in a towel?"
It was wrapped tightly around his waist and, from what she could tell, he was nude beneath. Shirtless as well, Steph taking stock of this as she typically did. It was one thing, when he was out in the ring. In other situation, more personal situations, it felt different, seeing him without one on.
He only nodded, Paul did, towards the bathroom. Coming over to the bed, he sat his bag on the end of it and began digging through it.
"Then you went out of my house in only a...towel? All the way to your car?"
Shrug.
"Well...why did you take a shower? At four in the morning? Are you...leaving?"
"Soon," he said, breaking his silence. "To work out."
"You shower before you work out?"
"I smelled like...you. And your house." Then he shrugged again, retrieving what he wanted from the bag, before lifting his head to stare at her. "I don't wanna smell like a chick at the gym."
Still only sitting there, Steph bowed her head before saying, "I thought you'd left."
"Nope." He'd gotten a toothbrush from the bag and, not moving to drop his towel and dress, he turned to head to the bathroom once more.
Stephanie waited on him, kicking off the sheet and moving to the edge of the bed. While he was in there, brushing his teeth in the dark, she moved to set his bag on the floor and await him finishing up.
Paul was very serious though, about hygiene. Actually, the man was pretty serious about most things. But his health especially. Frowning a bit, Steph was just breathing into her own hand and sniffing it, trying to figure out if she had morning breath and if she should get up and brush her teeth as well, when Paul came out of the bathroom.
Towel secured around his waist still, he only came to sit on the end of the bed, right in front of her, ending her chance to go rush and get, at the very least, a mint or something.
"Shit, baby."
"Mmmm." Stephanie sat on her knees behind him, resting her hands on his expansive shoulders. "I know."
It didn't even need to be stated. They both knew exactly where the others mind was going. Nowhere good.
"You thought," he mumbled after a minute or two of them both just sitting there, in the darkness, taking some comfort in the other, but mostly just reflecting on the past few days and accepting the morose twinged thoughts that accompanied it, "that I left you."
He didn't ask.
But she still answered.
"That you left the house, yeah. You always do."
"Hmmm."
"Paul..."
"What?"
Running her hands across his shoulders, she moved to wrap them around his neck as she whispered, "Can we talk?"
He hummed a bit as she buried her head in his hair. "If you wanna."
There was a, "'kay," mumbled against the side of his neck before Steph, arms still around his neck, pulled back a bit.
"Are you not even going to try to get her back?"
A deep breath was taken by the man before he said, "We haven't...really been together in a long time. This was inevitable. We've been drifting-"
"A year ago," Steph told him with what he was sure accompanied a frown, "I bought that. Then I didn't. So don't try to rehash it. Answer my question."
Another deep breath. Then, "I love her."
Her arms stayed around his neck, but perhaps hung a bit looser. "I know."
"But I… It just wasn't the same anymore. And I know that you can't be in love with more than one person at a time, it just doesn't work like that. But both of you are..." She was holding so still, behind him, that Paul felt the need to raise one of his own hands and rest it over the two she had clasped over his shoulders. "I love you. And I know that doesn't make sense and I can't and it's stupid but… I love her, Steph. A lot. But it's not...there anymore. Not like it is with you. And I should have just handled that, instead of fucking this all up."
Again, it was silent. Stephanie's head rested on his shoulder as Paul only sat there, thinking, it seemed.
Softly, she asked, "If you didn't want to though, then why did you let it go on for so long?"
"Why did I?" he repeated, but there wasn't any malice in his tone. Not even annoyance. He was too dispirited, apparently, to get angry with her. Still, with a slight sigh, he told her, in a brutally honest way (he was that out of it), "If I could have you both, why wouldn't I take you both?"
"Then," Steph asked, swallowing a bit, "you were never going to leave her?"
"We were hardly-"
"Paul-"
"I don't know, Steph. Shit. What do you want me to say? Why does it matter?"
"Because, we're… Do you want to be with me?"
The hand that laid over hers tightened its grip. "I'm here, aren't I?"
"I mean in a serious way. Are we gonna…do this? Or am I still just your...side...whatever?"
He was quiet for a bit before saying, "After all this, Steph, all the shit I'm getting from everyone, destroying my relationship with Vince, twice now, and everything else, it'd be fucking stupid for us to not at least try."
"I don't want to just try though." It was her turn to tighten her hold, pulling him closer as she nuzzled her face against his shoulder. "I don't want to be in that position again. Knowing that you're going home to someone else. I-"
"Babe, you'd be the one I'm going home to now."
Oh. Huh.
"Then I don't want to be the one waiting for you to get home to. I don't...want that. I want you. And only you."
"I want you too, Steph. I-"
"Only?"
He didn't even swallow. "Yeah. I think I do."
"Then what are we?"
"I dunno. What do you wanna be?" He took in a breath again, deeper that time, and held it. After letting out out, he said, "Because I don't think we can be much, publicly."
"According to Vince, the public thinks we're married."
He cracked a smile, even though she couldn't see it. "Yeah, ol' Vince just can't let it go, can he? That there's no way to hide shit now."
"None."
"Then..."
"People are gonna ask you," she pointed out. "About… I mean, if you do just a regular interview, what are you going to say?"
"What do you want me to say?"
"Just say that…you broke up. And that's it."
"And that I'm what now?"
"Single, I guess." She'd lifted her head to shrug, but it fell back to his shoulder then. "We shouldn't make this any harder than it has to be. On anyone involved."
"That's mature."
"I'm not the one that got cheated on."
"Just called a whore behind your back."
"I'm used to it." She giggled then, but it was quiet and held no humor to it. "The fans prepped me for that."
"I think you're more of a whore in real life, right? Than on the show? You just fuck your husband on the show."
"And other people's future ones off."
It didn't help either of them, the way that they wanted it to, to make light of the situation. And when Paul's hand fell from clasping hers, Steph's head raised as she looked over his shoulder. Turning his own head a bit, Paul watched her.
"Let's stay together," he suggested as he leaned back on one palm, Stephanie leaning over him. The other hand came up to pat her cheek as his head fell back, the woman far more concerned with edging that towel off. "Me and you. No matter how much shit we take at work. Because we want to be. And I know I did shit to Joanie and I'm sorry about that, but it's between me and her. Not them. And, fuck, Steph, I was talking."
Not anymore as he fell back completely and she leaned over him even more.
Thoughts of the gym gone, Paul found himself back up at the top of the bed eventually, with Stephanie snuggled up on his chest.
"Do you have to work out so early?" Her big blue eyes were on his then, hypnotizing him completely. "Can't you later? And stay with me instead?"
"Someone's gotta keep you company," he muttered as his eyes slipped shut again. "In this big house of yours."
"I'll make you breakfast, okay? When we get up? And then we can go work out. Together. Right?"
"Surely you realized after my shower, I was totally gonna go shove you outta bed and make you come with me. Didn't ya, Steph?"
"Yeah, right."
And he wasn't. He'd gotten up at four that morning, couldn't sleep, and wanted to go find a gym to clear his head at. As far as he was concerned, that had been staying the night.
What more could a woman want, right?
Apparently he was finding out…
"I meant it, anyways," he told her after they fell into a comfortable silence. "What I said. I do wanna be with you. And only you. Now. It was just easier, to keep things going the way they were. But… I'm glad that we got found out. That she found that damn love letter that you insisted on writing-"
"Oh, whatever. You like them. And why the hell did you keep it in your briefcase anyways?"
"The hell was I supposed to keep it, Steph? I live with the woman!" Then he frowned. "Or I did, I guess."
"What you should have done," she said softly, her tone changing a bit, "was been upfront from the beginning."
"Yeah, and you probably shouldn't have slept with someone else's boyfriend, but here we are."
Steph thumped his chest. "If you ever do that to me-"
"I won't."
"I'm serious, Paul. I-"
"Babe, I won't. Shit. What do you want me to do? Huh?"
"Just..." She'd opened her eyes again and, angling them up at him, she said, "Just break up with me, okay? When we're...done. Even if It's gonna hurt me and I'm still into you or...or if you think that it will effect your job. I don't ever want to go through that. I feel like crap all the time, for doing it to someone else."
Paul stared down at her for a moment before saying, "I won't. I mean, I don't plan to. Just like you're saying that it wouldn't effect my job if we stopped… You wouldn't mean for it to, is what you should say. And I don't wanna do this to anyone else. Ever. But I don't...know, Steph. I don't have all the answers, right now, to you and me. I'm still trying to separate us into something new and different, than how we were. I can't think of the future. I just think of now. And I think of how I feel about you and I know it's real."
That was the crux of the problem. It had been real before. But it had died, like all things do, eventually.
Letting her head fall, Steph stared at the wall as she tickled his abdomen with her fingers. His own hand laid on the other half of his chest and, eventually, she moved to still her hand over it.
He was right though. It was too soon for them to really know what was going to happen. That year that they had together, it didn't count. At all. Because it was tainted. Twinged. And if they wanted to build a life together after it, or even just see one another, it had to be left in the past.
"It's me and you, Steph," he told her as she drifted off once more. "Right now. Hopefully for a long time. And that's good enough for me. Isn't it for you?"
What difference did it make, she decided as she fell back asleep. It was how it had to be.
And that was all there was to it.
I had two separate guest requests that merged in this. Someone wanted a story about the whole cheating thing and someone else wanted their first date, but I wasn't sure either idea could stand alone (or at least not the way I wanted to write both), so here they are. I think I'm all out of requests though now, so if there's anything else you guys want, just ask. Either that or it's back to my own ideas.