15 days till day 0

These days, I've been feeling weaker and weaker. I suppose, looking back on things, I've been in this sort of decline all my life. I can't recall a day when I felt stronger than the last. My parents try to understand, but I know they never can. Somehow, I know that whatever this is, it's tied to my species: Litwick, of course. The fact that I'm adopted is so obvious, no one bothers to point it out. After all, my parents are both Simisage- a bit of a contrast, to put it lightly. Anyways, my parents love me in spite of my differences and I love them.

From the start, I've always loved battling. However, for whatever reason I've only ever been able to fire off ghost type attacks. My rumored fire typing has never materialized itself in any tangible form, whether on my body or as an attack. No one we've talked to can figure out why that is- indeed, some nights I find myself wondering if I was ever part fire at all.

My parents live a peaceful life. They've never really battled. In fact, my dad once had a trainer, but was released when he refused to fight. They mostly get along by foraging for berries. From what I understand, that's what most grass types do actually (not that either of us would understand the ways of grass types). Anyways, they're just about the kindest Pokemon I've ever known, always putting others before themselves and, well, just plain good. They've talked about sending me off somewhere so I can learn how to battle. Even though they don't choose that lifestyle for themselves, they'd allow me to go off and learn because they know that would make me happy. That's the kind of parents they are. It's why, even if I am adopted, I've never called them anything other than mom and dad.

Yeah, the only thing wrong in this idyllic life of mine is this odd sickness. It has my parents incredibly worried, of course. I'm just… not as energetic as I used to be. Sort of a state of permanent exhaustion. If I wasn't already pale as a ghost (ha!) from my waxy body, I'm sure I would be now. The real kicker is that no one understands where this has come from, why it's here or how to counter it. My parents have hired some of the best doctors in the region, with no results. I keep telling them that if we could only talk to some others of my kind, we might be able to find a solution. On that point and that point only, they refuse. It seems as though there is a certain fear of ghost types present. Apparently, many consider them mean-spirited at best and flat-out evil at worst. "Good thing it was your parents that found you!" my grandfather once said. "Otherwise, you'd have ended up like the rest of your kind!" Having never seen another ghost, I have no idea what they're like. I just have to take my family's word for it that they're to be avoided at all costs.

Yours,

Light

10 days to day 0

Things are getting worse and worse. This morning, I got really dizzy and even fainted for a few seconds. My parents are terrified; I wish I could tell them I was gonna be alright. Honestly, though, I'm terrified too. I'm not ready to die yet. There's too much I want to do. Earlier I heard someone say that my kind had "excellent battling potential." Something about special attack. It's the first time I've ever heard an outside source talk about the others- the other Litwick and, presumably, my evolutions. I want to be that. I want to be a great battler, to live up to my full potential. I may never get the chance.

Always,

Light

4 days to day 0

An old friend came to visit me today. You might remember him- he was that Ralts from Hoenn that stayed with my family for a few days once. Devin is his name. Anyways, while he was here we were the best of friends. We'd battle every day, and I won every match. Probably just because of our typing, but still. I'm pretty proud of the fact that I won at all. Anyways, my folks figured he'd cheer me up. A nice thought, and it might've worked too, except that his being here only reminded me of my inability to battle or, well, move much at all. He's found other ways of entertaining me, though- inside jokes from our earlier days and such. The same sort of thing you'd do for me if you were here.

Despite all their efforts, my condition hasn't improved. I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that this might be the end. I'm not having much luck. Neither are my parents, I'm sure. I never thought it when it didn't seem like it was about to happen, but I think dying is the thing I'm most afraid of.

Could I make a request? I'd like to see you. One last time. If it's not too much trouble. You still mean the world to me.

Light

2 days to day 0

Devin left. There's nothing more he can do, really. Or that anyone can do, for that matter. It seems inevitable at this point. I just wish my parents didn't have to go through this. They've always been so good to me.

I don't know what's going to happen to me. I really don't. I've tried to stay strong in front of my parents, at least. You're the only one I can confide in. And I'm telling you, I'm terrified. It sounds so unlike me, right? Well, I am. Whatever's going to happen, it's going to happen soon. I can feel it. When I think of everything I've left undone, it's just too much.

Sorry if I'm a burden,

Light

1 day to day 0

I don't want to die yet I don't want to die yet I don't want to die yet I don't want to die yet I don't want to die yet I don't want to

Light

Day 10

I don't remember the first week or so. I guess I was in a state of shock. Even now, it's taking every ounce of energy I have to continue writing this.

I still can't help but replay the scene in my head, every single waking hour of the day- not to mention in my nightmares as well. I wake to a bright blue light flooding the area. I don't understand what's going on. I feel good, great even- so much better than I have been feeling lately. I look around, trying to find the source of the light. Suddenly, I see-

I don't want to write it. Writing it means accepting it happened. Let's talk about what happened next. I ran. Well, floated- you know what I mean. I ran as far away as I possibly could to get away from that awful scene.

I'm hiding in a cave. Terrified beyond belief. Hoping it never happens again. Knowing that it will. Trying to avoid all contact with living beings. Wondering where I can possibly go from here. Praying to Arceus that this is just a dream. How could things end up like this? How is this real? It can't be real. I have to wake up now. I have to wake up. I have to wake up I have to wake up I have to wake up I have to-

Two bodies. Lying there, completely still. I look towards them, unbelieving. I turn them around so I can see their faces-

This cave is so dark. I want it to be lit up. I know I can't, but I want it. It's raining outside, cold. I don't know what to do-

It was them. My parents. I'd like to say they died as they lived- happy- but that wouldn't be the truth. Even know, out of the darkness, I can see their faces. Twisted in agony. Oh, Arceus. I can't do this. I can't do this.

Light (or is it Dark?)

Day 15

It took me a few minutes. To notice the blue flame burning brightly on my head. To connect that to my limited knowledge of my species. To connect that to my suddenly renewed energy. To realize what I'd done.

It all makes sense now, doesn't it? Being made of wax. I was made to burn. Ha. It's melting my head, even. You'd probably like it more now. It looks like I have hair.

I can't stay in this cave forever. If I stay, someone will find me. And then it'll happen again. My only way to stay alive. A life for a life. Who decided this? How is this my fate? What kind of a choice is that?

You may very well ask, as I've asked myself: why don't I just end it all now, before it happens again? It's my parents. It's the realization that, no matter what, they wanted me to stay alive. But how? At what cost? I have no idea what I'm going to do. I really don't. I'll leave this cave, I guess.

There's only one way I'll get out of this hell. I need to learn how to control this power. But how can I possibly master that which terrifies me unlike anything else, even the possible loss of my own life?

Today, I took a new name. It's silly really- a futile effort to forget my past. I guess that's what my life has become.

From now on,

Blank

Day 17

Today, I saw the first living beings I've ever seen since that day. A couple Pidove, resting in the trees of the otherwise quiet deep woods. Oh god, did I flee. I fled as fast as I could possibly go, never looking back. If they saw me, they must've thought I was entirely insane. I don't really care. At least they didn't follow me.

I've felt myself becoming weaker again. This is how it starts. That, at least, I can think about. What I can't think about is how it ends. How it must end.

And how that end is coming soon.

Blank

Night 20

Again. Again. Again. Again. I tried to stop it. I really did. It was no use. I was awake this time. I saw the whole thing. How the color drained out of their faces. How they writhed in agony. How they pleaded for someone- anyone- to help them. I saw the whole thing with the light of my own fire, and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. That fire, the fire that gives life to me and takes life from others. My curse. In that light, I saw just how monstrous I've become.

I'd kill myself, but I'm already dead.

Blank

Night 21

A dark, black space sprawls out before me. I wonder to myself dimly about where I am. Suddenly, the light comes on. I'm back in my forest, but something's different. All around me are bodies. Some spread out, some close together. They all have the same expression- the same I saw on my parents and the same I saw on my most recent victims. I scream myself awake.

All I keep asking myself is this: "why?"

And I never have an answer.

Blank

Day 22

Last night, I dreamt something else entirely. I don't remember most of the dream, but one thing sticks out. I was happy. It got me thinking. Thinking that I needed to find some way to be happy. It's the first time I've dared to even think about something like that, since- well you know. And I asked myself: "How can you be happy?" And the answer was the same as it always was. Battling. I know that's what my parents would have wanted me to do. But… how can I possibly accomplish this? How, when I'm forced to run in fear from any living creature? And how I'll continuously grow weaker until /it/ happens again? I can't live with this. My only hope is to find someone who can help me. And to do that, I need to talk to people. It's going to take every little piece of strength I can muster. I keep telling myself I'll be fine. It just happened two days ago. It should be satiated for a while, right? That doesn't stop me from being terrified that I might be wrong. Still. I have to try. Castelia's only a bridge away. I'm going tomorrow. Holding on to that dream the whole way.

I swear I'm trying,

Blank

Day 23

Where do I even begin this letter? Well. I have good news and bad news. Though I suppose the bad news could be worse. The good news is that I made it to Castelia without (much of) a problem. I mention this first because after my last letter I remembered how you are in regards to cities and crowds. Speaking of crowds, this place is huge! The buildings the humans made seem to stretch almost to the clouds, and the streets are packed with people. Yeah, you'd definitely hate it here. Speaking of hating things, Skyarrow Bridge is terrifying! Remember how it's right outside the north border of the forest, but for some reason I was never allowed to go there? There's a definite reason for that. The water underneath it was making me really nervous the whole time. I guess it's a natural reaction for fire types to have (much as I hate to admit being that, considering). The result is that I was basically a nervous wreck during the entire (ridiculously long!) trip. I'm a bit better now that I'm firmly back on land, at least.

Anyways, the bad news. I met a girl. She reminds me of you. It's horrible.

Let me explain. I had just gotten into the city, nervous as hell but trying not to think of… that… like how I'm trying not to think of it right now. It didn't let me forget it, though. No, no, I immediately felt faint again, like it was about to happen again. I went as fast as I could into the nearest hiding place I could find. It was the sewers, as it turns out. And. That was where I met her.

So, umm, if you're wondering why I seem more upbeat in this letter, there are several reasons. First of all, I'm trying to push /it/ out of my head, and for now it's working. Trying to focus on other things. Maybe if I keep telling myself it's not there, it'll go away? (I can hear you right now pointing out that it won't. I choose to reject this possibility on the grounds that I'm still terrified and just trying to cope so shut up) The other reason is her. Well. I don't really wanna talk about this to you. Still, we promised, right? That we'd tell each other everything? (Oh, and forgive me if the letter goes on a bit longer than most)

Anyway, here's what happened: I was floating through the sewers a bit, focusing on the water (cause it was the most distracting thing in the place) when suddenly I saw a flying silhouette reflected. It was only there for the briefest of moments, but I still saw it. I, of course, immediately looked up to try to find the thing. The top of the cave, however, was much too dark to see anything. Hoping I was seeing things, I kept on my path. Suddenly, I heard a noise: a small bit of rock being unlodged from the top of the cave and falling down, surely not a natural occurrence. I froze and looked around, suspicious. For a few moments, everything was silent.

"So, what's your story?" I heard a voice say casually from directly behind me. I, of course, immediately turned around, floating back in fear as I did so (Hey, it was dark and scary in there!) It took me a second in the darkness, but finally I made out a blue figure hanging upside-down. It was obviously a Zubat- we'd see a few around the forest occasionally, remember? Her face registered a mixture of boredom and mild anger, a unique combination that resulted in a slight scowl. Her lack of apparent eyes made this all the more interesting, her mouth being the only thing she could use for expression. "Well, that was certainly… brave of you" she commented off-handedly in an unamused tone. "I had hopes that you wouldn't be so dull and unpredictable as to have that sort of reaction." She spoke cooly, with a certain detachment.

Eager to leave as soon as possible, I said in a sort of defeated voice: "Yeah, well, I'm sorry I didn't live up to your expectations," and then began to walk away. Before I got very far, the girl had disappeared from her perch and reappeared right in front of me. It was obvious that her lack of eyes was not in any way a handicap for her.

"I said: 'What's your story?'" she repeated herself in a slightly more hostile tone than before, scowling all the more as she did so.

I simply shrugged and turned away, hoping she'd leave me alone. Of course, it wasn't that simple. This time I heard an audible growl, followed by: "Hey! Buddy! You too good for me or something?" Embarrassed by this point (you know how I get) I tried to stutter a reply. She immediately cut me off, sarcastically exclaiming: "Oh! No! You're certainly not under obligation to answer me! Heaven forbid you talk to this little outcast!" She practically spat her last sentence.

I should have walked away. I really, really should have. My common sense, my everything told me to bail out while I still could. But I couldn't let that last comment go unanswered. "Outcast? What makes you think this outcast doesn't wanna talk to that outcast?"

Man, you should've been there to see her face. There was an immediate 180, from the scowl she'd been supporting since I first saw her to a silly grin, made even funnier by the fact that she only had four teeth. "AHA!" she exclaimed, pleased with me and pleased with herself. "I knew it! You're just like me, then."

A little taken aback by this sudden burst of enthusiasm, I answered cautiously: "If you mean to say we both dwell on the outskirts of society, then yes, I suppose we are alike."

Remember when you told me I was bad at lying? I've recently found out that extends to feigning disinterest, as well. Suffice to say, she saw through my ruse immediately. "Stop bein so formal and talk ta me, idiot!" she exclaimed without ceremony.

Still trying to remain aloof (look how well that's going!), I drew my breath and sighed as loud and exaggerated as possible. "I have nothing to talk about" I finally declared.

It was obvious that she didn't believe me for a second, but she decided to drop it anyway. Anyways- hold on! Have I really been writing that long? Okay, I'm gonna stop here and never ever write this much again (let's see how long I stick to that promise). Anyways. Her name's Violet, by the way. I'm staying with her for now, despite my objections. Despite my wishes to not get attached to anyone in case… /that/ happens again.

…For the sake of full disclosure, I will admit that I think she's kinda cute. You can stop laughing now, meanie.

Could this emotion I'm feeling be… hope?

Blank

Day 24

I found something out today that's just brilliant. It changes everything. On the other hand, it makes my situation even worse. So, it's another good news/bad news deal (been havin a lot of those lately).

It took almost the entire morning, but Violet finally managed to get a little information out of me. I didn't tell her much, just that I was looking for other Litwick (there was no way I was telling her the whole story, you understand). And here's the brilliant part! Violet knows where to find other Litwick! Apparently, there's some sort of tower or something. I looked at a map and it's only 3 towns away from where we are now. Next to some town called Mistralton. So here's the thing. I want- no, need- to go to this tower. That tower offers answers, right? With their help, I might be able to put a stop to this thing.

But. Violet wants to come with me. I haven't told her about the thing. How could I? I'm afraid it's gonna happen to her. So afraid. I'm already growing too attached to her. I can't afford that. So… what do I do?

I guess I gotta run. I'm leaving tomorrow.

She'd understand if she knew the whole story… right?

Blank

Day 27

Right, so I've been travelin for a couple days and I'm just now getting around to writing you (you're at least reading these… right?). So. Here's what happened.

Having gotten the information I needed, I headed north. Out of Castelia, and into something else entirely. I left while Violet was asleep. Naturally.

Anyways. I'd heard of what lies beyond Castelia, but I've never seen it for myself until now. It's a lot different from home. Like another world entirely, really. I think you'd love it. Basically, there's sand everywhere. On all sides of the road, and in the air even! It actually really hurts after a while. Anyways, I could see people on the road itself so I tried to keep to the outskirts. It almost worked, too. Until a couple Sandile attacked me, that is. Nothing quite like only having one type to attack with only to have your opponent resist it, right? You know how it is. Of course, even if I had fire attacks (which is NOT happening any time soon. I'd rather not even acknowledge that fire exists right now) they'd just resist those too. Well, since I really had no choice, I ran.

Could I have won somehow? I've heard of something called a "coverage move-" something of a different type than you are that you use to beat things that you otherwise couldn't- but I'm not sure what mine would be or even how to get them. Guess that's another thing I'll have to ask when I'm able to get some training. Still planning on doing that, by the way. As soon as I'm done with this whole thing. And I will be done with it. I hope I will, anyway.

Well, the rest of the route passed by without incident. (Unless you call being pelted by sand repeatedly an incident) I finally made it through and got to the next city: Nimbassa. Like with Castelia, I'm not sure how to pronounce it. Is it Nim-bassa, Nimba-saw… could it be Nim-bay-say even? Heh, best not to overthink it I guess. Probably won't have anyone to say it to, anyway. This city's pretty cool though. It's got a bunch of big stadiums and a ferris wheel! (Give cities a chance some time, will ya?)

…Well. In other news. I've started feeling weak again. It's the worst feeling, I swear. It's like you feel your life slowly slipping out of you because, really, that's what happens. The only solution, of course, is the thing I most fear. What do I do this time? What can I do?

Ummm. Something else has been bothering me. I don't really wanna bring it up. But. Well. I haven't seen you or heard from you in months, okay? And I miss you. And I really wish you'd take just a little bit of effort to contact me or something. I mean… never mind. I shouldn't have brought it up.

Anyways. I guess I'm just going to hang around in this city for now, until I can think of something. My body's losing the ability to move already. Kinda scary that this seems to be happening faster and faster now.

Why don't I get a choice?

Blank

Day 31

Sorry for not writing for a few days- oh who am I kidding? You don't care. Anyways, it happened again, of course. …And may I just say how much I loath the fact that its happening is just a given now? Every single time this happens, I stop and wonder to myself if this is all worth it. Surely I'm not more valuable than the eight lives I've taken, right? Oh yes, I'm counting them. The only things stopping me from throwing myself into the ocean are 1. My sense of preservation and 2. My parents. But I've already explained that.

I'll spare you the details of the latest three. Maybe you'll be able to forget them (Arceus knows I won't). The important thing is that I'm full of energy and ready to set out again. As far as I can tell, this thing is happening more and more often. That means my sole objective needs to be getting to Celestial Tower as quickly as possible. No distractions.

Cause it's my only chance.

Blank

Day 32

Remember when I said "no distractions?" Umm, yeah. That didn't work out so well.

"Gotcha!" exclaimed an all too familiar Zubat as she emerged from some sort of secret underground tunnel (those exist?). "I thought you might like a guide on your way to your destination!" She said this in an almost chipper tone, certainly happily- she was obviously faking it (she still hasn't directly mentioned anything about my leaving). And even though she thought she was hiding it, I could tell she was mad. Well, to be fair, who wouldn't be? I was a complete jerk (obviously). But- well, you know my reasons. Sigh. Anyway, what to do now? I'm pretty much stuck with her. I have the distinct feeling she won't let me escape… (as I write this she's staring at me intently).

In other news, I've made it to the next city: Driftveil. The route used to get here was kinda boring, honestly (I never understand how humans find that dancing stuff entertaining, but the route was full of them). Anyways, I passed through without much trouble. The humans were too preoccupied with each other to notice tiny little me, and I stayed well out of the grass. Just when I thought I was in the clear, I saw it: Driftveil Drawbridge.

Let me try to explain this to you: I was terrified to have to cross a bridge suspended hundreds of feet in the air over water before. Now imagine how I felt when I was faced with the same thing, but with the added exciting bonus that the freakin bridge splits in half to let ships go by! That'd mean I'd be floating directly over water. To some I might seem irrational in my fear, but I'm sure other fire types (blah, I hate admitting that) would agree with me. Well, needless to say I went as quickly as I possibly could. Luckily for me, there weren't any ships.

Anyways, the entrance to Driftveil has a pretty neat sculpture thing. Then, after another bridge (GAH!) I was into the city proper. It's pretty big, though nowhere near as big as Castelia (obviously). There's a big tent that's supposed to be a market I guess? Oh, and apparently Driftveil's full of a bunch of hotels for humans- I guess there's some sort of tournament thing here? It sounds cool, honestly. Well, you know how I am about battling. If I only had time to watch something like that… (or any way to actually get better at battling).

Thing is, I don't. I'm just gonna have to go, that's all. The next town is Mistralton. After that? My destination. I can hold out until then, right? I'm gonna have to.

She's kinda a pain, haha.

Blank

Day 33

Sometimes, there's a single moment that winds up defining a guy. You probably know the type- it comes out of nowhere. Whatever action you take isn't thought about. It just feels like the right action. Well, that happened to me today. It made me change my thoughts on a few things. I'll start at the beginning.

Violet woke me up extremely early (not that I was getting much sleep to begin with) and told me we had to get food for our journey. I was used to just subsisting on berries, but she had something else in mind. "Ooh, let's get some people food!" she exclaimed in the usual enthusiasm she uses for the present when she's trying to forget the past. (I only know this cause I'm guilty of it too).

I countered in my usual sarcastic tone: "Oh, and I suppose the 'people food' is just gonna fall right out of the sky, eh?"

Suddenly she took on a very serious expression, the kind that lets me know she's not kidding around. "No, idiot. We're going to steal it."

Now before I go on, lemme explain something here. I've never done anything illegal in my life, at least not of my own free will (No, you convincing me to steal that Emolga's chestnuts does not count). So when she brought up stealing out of the blue, I was really taken aback. I mean my parents raised me better than that, right? Right?

"Fine by me" I said straight to her face, looking directly into her eyes.

…Okay I can /feel/ your laughter and you haven't even read this yet. Just… shut up, okay? Take it easy on me for once. Anyways, we headed straight for the gold: Driftveil marketplace. Violet obviously knew what she was doing. She immediately came up with a plan, and it was a pretty good plan too. She'd lie on the ground in front of some shoppers, pretending to be hurt. They'd go right over to her and fuss over her, at which point I come out from my hiding place, nab some of their food, and make my getaway. This is made easier by the fact that I'm a ghost type- I can literally hide inside objects, which makes me a lot harder to find. Anyways, the plan was going perfectly (as most plans do at first). Violet was doing her injured Pokemon routine and I had myself perfectly hidden in a shelf. The humans did the predictable thing, immediately dropping their bags and running over to her. I grabbed the bags and turned to make my getaway when- eep. Looming over me was a big man with a scary knife- the guy who cuts the vegetables. Man, it felt like I was staring death right in the face.

And here's the moment. What did it tell me? It told me that I do have a bit of self-preservation instincts left in my head. That I do want to live. Cause in that moment, I ran as fast as I could.

And Violet was right beside me.

Blank

Night 33

A grand pillar juts out of the ground, far away but visible nonetheless. I know it's my destination. I turn to Violet. She doesn't say anything- just nods and takes off. I float along beside her. It's a beautiful scene- the trees full of leaves, the grass long and alive, the world at peace. Suddenly, out of the trees behind us, darkness comes. It slides steadily towards us, clearly unstoppable. We speed up as we concentrate on making it to the tower in time. The tower, though, looks like it's getting further and further away! All the while, the darkness swallows everything we pass, leaving no trace of its existence. I look back- a bad move. It's gaining fast. I yell to Violet to run, but the darkness gets to her first! She's quiet as a dark peninsula reaches out, slowly consuming her. I cry out as her body slowly sinks into the black, before realizing with a panic that the same is happening to me! I try to break free, looking desperately to that pillar of hope. It's no use. The darkness swallows me as well. I can't tell what's going on or where I am. There's nothing, just black.

Suddenly, a light floods the area. I'm almost grateful- but I know what that blue light signifies. If I wasn't panicking before, I certainly am now. I look around wildly. At first, I can't see anyone. Then, as a single scream reaches my ears, my worst fears come true. Violet lies on the ground, writhing in agony. It's a sight I know all too well. Her screams are deafening. I know nothing else. I guess I start screaming too.

She certainly didn't appreciate me waking her up with my screams.

Blank

Day 34

Violet and I didn't exactly talk much the morning after that. I certainly wasn't in the mood to talk after that night, and I think she was trying to give me some space. We had the understanding that we'd set out immediately after we woke up, and that's exactly what we did. We headed north and were immediately met with this long and winding route. Speaking of long and winding, a big river ran right through it, causing the land to twist as it did rather than go in a straight line. Well. Remember that whole fear of water thing? (Fun fact! According to Violet it's called 'hydrophobia') Well, here's how that went over.

"Aren't you coming?" Violet questioned, turning around mid-flight to look at me. She was hovering directly over the river- a nice looking thing, I'll admit, but no less terrifying in its beauty.

"Well… uhhh…" I trailed off, trying to think of a reasonable explanation that wouldn't cause Violet to laugh at me.

No such explanation was coming. "Don't tell me…" she said slowly, a grin starting to develop on her nearly featureless face. "You're scared of water, aren't you?"

I had no doubts that denying it was pointless. Violet had grabbed on to the fact, and once she grabs on to something there's no escaping her (I know. I've tried). "…Yeah," I finally admit. "So? I'm a fire type. It's instinctual."

"Hahaha!" she laughed with confidence. "It's not healthy to have such unnatural fears!" (She was toying with me, for sure. Her somewhat formal, "I'm above you" tone told me that much).

"I… I bet you have your fears too!" I suddenly burst out, sounding much harsher than I meant to.

Of course Violet chose that time to get serious (isn't that my job?) "Maybe I do. So what?" she says with what I'm sure would have been a glare had she had visible eyes. "My fears, I'll have you know, are well founded."

Of course, I immediately got defensive. You (and only you) should know how true that statement was for me. "Oh yeah, and you're obviously the only one here who's hiding that sort of thing."

And then… and then Violet asked too much. "Really now?" she questioned. "I'd love to hear what makes your life so difficult."

I turned away and focused my eyes on the rapidly flowing river (anything but look at her). "No," I asserted softly. "I can't tell you that."

I still couldn't bring myself to look at her, so I don't know what expression she had on her face. "You…" she began softly, before trailing off. After a few seconds, she started again: "You know what? No. Screw you. You obviously don't wanna be anywhere near me, so I'll just go. Ugh. I should've just let you leave me when you tried to, like all the others did!"

I heard the noisy flap of wings as Violet turned around and began flying across the river. I stood there silently for a few seconds, aghast, before weakly saying: "Violet, stop…" It was too late though. She was gone, her blue body turning into a speck in the distance. All I could think about was that I should've seen this coming. That maybe I should've told her, or at least not been so harsh about it. Well, what's done is done, right? This is what I wanted, isn't it? I'm alone, yet again. Now I can't possibly hurt her. I should be happy.

And yet, of course, I'm sad.

Blank

Day 40

I'm sure you'll understand why I couldn't write you the past few days. The following is a recount of the final leg of my journey.

Feeling weak once again, (and terrified, for that matter) I camped out outside of a cave, a cave which is apparently the only way to get to Mistralton on foot (So close!). This, mind you, is after taking the long way through the previous route (I never could get my courage up enough to go over the water). The gradually strengthening daylight woke me up this morning, rather than Violet waking me. I looked around for a few seconds and, remembering where I was and what had happened, looked into the cave. It was dark, at least at first. Gradually, though, I began to make out an eerie blue light coming from within. Well, for reasons I'm sure you understand, that particular image was deeply unsettling to me. It reminded me, of course, of… you know where I'm going with that. Anyway. I stood there for a long while, trying to get up the courage to go in.

Well, to make a long story short, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I wonder if I'll be afraid of that shade of blue my whole life? Whatever the case, I decided to just go over the cave rather than go through it. Violet had probably gone into the cave, to which I thought: "just as well" (or at least kidded myself into thinking I thought that). Using a rather peculiar mixture of floating and climbing, I began scaling the cliff. It was hard at first (I'm not all that good at floating against gravity yet) but the thing leveled out pretty quickly. From there, it was basically this giant flat field of rock. I'll be honest, it looked really cool. I could see for miles, too! As I looked back, I could see everything I passed on my journey. The giant skyscrapers of Castelia loomed large on the horizon. The big Ferris wheel in Nimbassa turned slowly. I saw all the treetops, green now that spring's arrived. And for a second- just a second- I thought something: it was pretty darn beautiful. And I thought that sometime, when this is all over, I'd like to go back. Then I turned and set my sights on my goal.

A sudden bout of weakness threw me onto the rock of the top of the cave. I stayed there for a few minutes, gasping for breath. It was getting harder and harder to resist. It passed eventually, though, and I got up and kept going. In the distance, I could clearly make out my destination. It was a giant structure, spiraling upwards into the sky. I knew instantly it was where I was headed, the Celestial Tower. It was, after all, the only thing matching the description in the area. Before that, there was the human town of Mistralton. It had this giant black part on the left that had a bunch of human flying machines on it. To the right were just a couple buildings. At any rate, I didn't have time to gawk at that sort of thing. My destination was in sight and I was running out of time.

I went as fast as I could across what seemed like a totally barren landscape. It was all just brown rocks, some jagged, some flat. The only breaks in this monotony were a few cracks on the base. They let me see into the cave itself a bit; it was interesting but I didn't spend much time looking down. The reasons for that, at least, should be obvious.

Anyways, I continued across the rocky field for what seemed like forever, the tower getting ever closer. I fell a couple more times, still feeling weak, but mostly I tried to ignore it. There was no way I was giving up, not when I was that close. A sense of urgency was all I had, and it kept me going as fast as possible. Anyways, I finally made it to the end. The tower was a lot closer, too. I was nearly there.

Just as I was about to jump off and back onto the normal ground, I heard a shriek emanating from a crack in the rock behind me. I froze. Every bit of common sense I possessed told me to ignore it. I was almost there, I was weak, I hardly had any time left before my nightmares began again. But I couldn't leave it. Not when I knew that voice.

Without thinking, I turned around and jumped straight into the nightmare. I immediately took in three things: First, that the bluish light was every bit as hellish to me as I knew it would be. Second, that a yellow creature with four legs and six eyes towered over me, probably more than twice as tall as I was. Third, and most importantly, that Violet was lying in a heap beside him. I sprang into action, launching a burst of ghostly energy directly at the multi-eyed freak. The sense of battle gave me adrenaline that pushed the weakness I had been feeling from my mind. It was just me and him. The bug countered by shooting a yellow web out of its mouth; I tried to dodge out of the way but it still got me. I immediately felt a painful shocking sensation, coupled by a new sense of sluggishness. Evidently, the sticky attack lowered the opponent's speed as well as doing damage. Seeing its chance, the bug skittered towards me. I tried to fend it off with another ghost attack, but to no avail. My normally effective attacks weren't doing much against the fully evolved Pokemon. He shot another web at me, hurting and slowing me even more, then stood over me in triumph. I stared into its many eyes with terror. Not the terror of knowing that I was about to die, mind. There was a way out, and it was that- what I'd have to attempt- that was truly terrifying.

There wasn't much of a change in lighting in the cave. It was, after all, already a filled with blue. Violet, still lying on the floor, probably didn't even notice. But the Galvantula noticed. And I certainly noticed. The flame on my head burned bright, and I closed my eyes and focused on controlling it with all my might. Success or failure in this would decide everything.

I opened my eyes. The Galvantula was lying on the ground, convulsing due to the flames that were climbing over him. I'd done it. I'd used a fire attack, and cut off the flame afterwards!

My celebration lasted exactly three seconds. I immediately fell to the ground, probably in more pain than the Galvantula. Whatever fuel I had left, I burned almost all of it in that attack. That was it. That was my breaking point. My body screamed out against my mind for not allowing it the energy it desperately needed. I could do nothing but lay on the ground, drifting in and out of consciousness. I fought as hard as I could, knowing that my body would take over and do what it wanted as soon as I was unconscious. As I was entirely occupied by this, I barely heard the voice that called out to me. Even when I did, it sounded incredibly distant. I somehow managed to focus enough to make out a few words: "What… how… what do I do?" It was a panicked Violet, and from the half-second I had my eyes open I knew she was standing right over me.

"T-tower" I managed to creak out. She tried to ask more questions, but she was getting no answer from me. I felt myself being lifted up. Evidently, Violet had picked me up and was carrying me out of the cave.

We flew for what seemed an eternity in what might possibly have been the worst experience of my life (as hard to believe as that is). I lost pretty much all control of my physical faculties, devoting all mental energy to not giving in. I could feel myself dying. This was the end. I could only hope and hope and hope that she'd make it to the tower quickly enough. My eyes occasionally darted open for a split-second at a time, just long enough for me to make out the rapidly approaching tower. I could just barely make out Violet's panicked words of concern. And then.

I felt it. The kind of chill that goes through your entire body. And I knew. I knew that I couldn't hold on any longer. I opened my eyes one last time. I saw the tower a matter of feet away.

I descended into the black, surrendering myself finally to the void. And that dammed blue light, the source of my nightmares now and forever, flickered into life.

Did we make it?

Blank