With apologies to Perrault

Once upon a time there was an orphan named Harry, who in his seventeenth year found himself upon a quest to rid the land of an unspeakable evil. He was joined in his quest by the loyal Ronald and Hermione. Harry knew that the enemy was in possession of terrible powers, but they had been acquainted for several years, and Harry had learnt that his enemy had a weakness – his pride.

Therefore, when he caught up with the enemy and his three accomplices, he spake thus:

'Lord Voldemort, I do not fear you, for your power comes from your servants.'

And the Dark Lord was angry at this, and angrier still when his accomplices began to murmer. He said 'what reasoning could make you speak thus?'

'Well,' spake Harry, 'your servant Malfoy is one of the richest men in the land. Surely it is he who provides the gold for your many undertakings, and with gold lies power.'

But the Dark Lord merely laughed, and said 'Boy, I have collected treasures beyond gold, treasures with such value they could buy everything he owns. I have no need of his petty funds. Is that the best of your argument?'

'No Sir, for I have also considered your servant Lestrange. Surely her cruelty surpasses your own, and makes her more worthy of people's fear?'

The Dark Lord did not laugh this time, but neither did he frown. He merely said 'the comparison is ludicrous. Perhaps I can demonstrate the cruelty of Lord Voldemort?' He drew his wand, and spake the incantation 'crucio', inflicting grievous pain upon young Ronald, Harry's most loyal friend.

'Stop!' cried Harry. 'I am satisfied that your cruelty does indeed surpass Lestrange's, but there is one more area in which I believe your servant exceeds you.'

'You begin to bore me,' said Voldemort. 'Say your piece, but I have no doubt I will refute it, and then kill you.'

'Your servant Pettigrew is an animagus. He has mastered a highly difficult and dangerous magic, and I suggest that he is the better wizard. And truly it is magic upon which our lives are based.'

And at this Voldemort began to look angry again, and he stood tall. 'I can turn myself into whatever I choose, for in truth it is just transfiguration, and I long passed the stage of struggling at simple spells. Observe.'

With this Voldemort waved his wand and transformed himself into a green rat that hissed menacingly.

Harry nodded, then raised his boot and stamped upon the Dark Lord, killing him in an instant. He turned to the servants, who, seeing they were once again without a master, fled the kingdom.

Harry and his loyal friends returned to the city with the Dark Lord's wand and there was much rejoicing.