Casey wondered what was bothering her lover. Everything had seemed so perfect moments before, but then he'd gotten out of bed and pulled his trousers on, putting the suspenders up over his shirtless shoulders, and now he was standing out on the fire escape barefoot. She found his shirt and put it on, noting as she buttoned the lowest buttons that he really did have a slender build, not that she hadn't already noticed that when they'd been making love. She made her way out on to the fire escape, and came up behind him; circling her arms around him, she placed a kiss between his shoulder blades.
"John?" she said his name as a question, and he turned to look at her. The night breeze blew strands of her hair across her face so he reached out and gently brushed them aside. He stood there for a long time just looking at her, as though he were memorizing her.
"What's wrong?" she asked when it didn't seem like he'd volunteer to explain why he'd suddenly left her.
"We shouldn't have done this," he said simply, his voice filled with regret.
"Why not?" for some reason her voice took on a prosecutorial edge, as though he were a suspect trying to lie his way out of some situation and she wasn't going to let him.
"Well for starters, we work together," he pointed out.
Yes, but it's not like I'm you're partner, and as far as I know there's no regulation that says we can see each other," she countered his first argument.
"Maybe there should be, but setting that aside, there's the little matter of our ages. I'm old enough to be your father," John added his second argument with a bit of a grimace.
"So what, at least you've probably outgrown the immaturity that most guys my own age seem to possess, besides I think age is just a state of mind," she said.
"You won't, not when you want more than this tired old body can give you," John added bitterly.
"Did you hear me complaining tonight?" she asked him almost angrily.
"No, not tonight but,"-
"Not tonight, not any night, look John, a relationship isn't just about sex, and you know that!" Casey was beginning to show a redhead's temper.
"Oh you think so, well if I'm so fucking brilliant about relationship, then why have I been divorced 4 times? You want to add that to the list of reasons you shouldn't be with me?" he countered.
"John, why are you doing this? Don't you want to be with me?" she asked, sounding forlorn.
"No, no I don't want to be with you," John lied and he saw the look on Casey's face. She was shocked and hurt.
John turned and went back through the window and into the bedroom. At first Casey didn't follow and he began to worry about her. Just as he was about to go back out to get her she came inside.
"Did you mean what you just said?" she asked in a small voice.
He sat down on the bed and looked down at the tangled sheets where they'd recently made love, he couldn't stand to look at the pained expression on her face that he'd caused. "No, I,"- he hesitated. "Casey, I've been hurt a lot of times, for a lot of different reasons, and I've been the one who's done the hurting too. I don't want to do that again."
"I can't promise that I'll never hurt you, you know what the old song says, 'you always hurt the ones you love', but I promise I will always love you," she said, and then she crawled across the bed to him and kissed him. He kissed her back passionately and ran his hands up under his shirt that she was wearing, caressing her skin. She broke the kiss.
"I thought you said you were old?" she said in a teasing voice.
"Did I say that? Nah, must be some other old geezer you've been screwing. By the way, telling him and any other guys you've been seeing that from now on your dance card's full , OK?"
She pushed his suspenders off his shoulders and began to attack the fastener and zipper of his trousers, before looking up coyly at him and answering with a wicked smile, "OK."