Disclaimer: I do not own Phineas and Ferb or any of its characters, referenced or named, in this story. The characters from Phineas and Ferb belong to Disney and the exceptional minds of Dan Povenmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh.
Author's Note: This one-shot is about Phineas and Ferb's adventure on Halloween night, where they run into an unexpected surprise. And by 'unexpected', I mean COMPLEATELY EXPECTED! I know, Halloween was about two weeks ago, but I had very little time to work on this. I'm planning on making one of these every holiday, from Easter to Thanksgiving to Christmas. Anyway, on to the story…
Phineas and Ferb walk out from behind a red curtain, dressed in black tuxedoes. Phineas says, "We thought it only fair to warn you that the story you're about to read may disturb you. It may shock you! It may even HORRIFY YOU!" Doofenshmirtz runs across the stage screaming, while being chased a living vending machine. Phineas just nonchalantly watches him run off-screen, and then says, "You've been warned."
*Somewhere on the streets of Danville…*
Phineas and Ferb are trick-or-treating Perry waddling along close behind them. Phineas is wearing his mad scientist costume from the time they built the haunted house, and Ferb is wearing his Frankenstein costume from the same day. Phineas turns to him and says, "You sure love that costume, Ferb."
Ferb nods at his statement, and Phineas continues talking. "Only you could pull off wearing the same costume three Halloweens in a row." Ferb gives a thumbs-up sign, and then turns to look at Perry. They had dressed him up as a secret agent, by giving him a small brow fedora. He was walking on all fours, as to not raise suspicion or blow his cover.
Phineas walks up to Baljeet's house, and rings the doorbell, Ferb not too far behind. Baljeet's mother opens the door, and says, "Hello Phineas, Ferb," looking at the boys when she says their names respectively. She hands them both a bag of curry-flavored gelatin, and a candy bar. The boys thank her, but before they reach the end of the sidewalk, Phineas stops and looks around, asking, "Hey, where's Perry?"
Unbeknownst to the boys, Perry, still wearing his costume, slipped away before they had reached Baljeet's house. He entered his lair through a tree that appeared to have an evil face carved into it. He is now getting his mission from Major Monogram. "Doofenshmirtz has bought a house in the suburbs, and…"
Perry tunes him out, and starts looking at his notebook, flipping through the pages. They all have the same thing on them: A cartoon-ish drawing of Monogram. Perry looks up, and sees Monogram still talking, "Blah, blah, blah blah blah, blahblahblah." Perry smiles, causing Monogram to stop briefing him and say, "Agent P, pay attention! As I was saying, Doofenshmirtz has bought a house in the suburbs, and blah, blah, blah blah blah, blahblahblah." The last part is not Perry's imagination, but in real life. Perry blinks, and then salutes, rushing off to his hover craft. Monogram calls out, "Wait, Agent P, I forgot to tell you the address. It's 114 Maple Drive." Perry nods, gets in his hover craft, and flies off to the address.
*Meanwhile at…*
Doofenshmirtz's haunted house in the suburbs!
Doofenshmirtz chuckles, but is interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Just one moment… Hold on, hold on…" Doof says, walking towards the front door. He opens it, only to see two young boys, one in a mad scientist costume and one in a Frankenstein costume. The one in the scientist costume says, "Hello mister! We saw your house, and we thought it was a haunted house. Is it?"
The first boy has red-ish hair and a triangle-shaped head, while the other has greenish hair, and his head looks vaguely like Doofenshmirtz's building. Heinz thinks for a bit, and then says slowly, "Ummm… Yeah, i-it is. Come on in. Oh, let me introduce myself; I am Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz."
The redhead says, "I'm Phineas, and this is my brother Ferb!" Heinz pauses, and says slowly, "Whoa, I just had the most serious sense of déjà vu." Phineas does the same and says, "Yeah, me too…"
The boys shrug it off, enter the house, and begin to look around. Doof sneaks over to an orange and black –Inator, and presses a green button. "Good thing I had the Spooky-Inator in case I got some trick-or-treaters." He mumbles to himself as the house becomes significantly spookier. Spider webs appear in the corners, the lighting grows dim, and the front door closes by itself. Phineas and Ferb jump when the door closes, but they continue to wander around. Doofenshmirtz grumbles, and then presses the button again, causing some bats to appear from a vent near the ceiling. The boys gasp, but they keep advancing through the house. They are soon out of sight, making Doof sigh.
The door swings open, and in walks a platypus wearing a fedora. Heinz says, quite confused, "A platypus in a secret agent costume?" The platypus, which is really Perry, realizes he is still wearing his costume fedora, and not his real one, lifts the costume fedora off his head, puts the real fedora on, and places the costume fedora on top of the real one. At this, Doof remarks with a gasp, "Perry the Platypus in a secret agent costume?"
*Let's go check on the boys…*
"Look out!" Phineas shouts as a suit of armor nearly takes Ferb's head off. They are walking down a dark, ominous, trap-infested hallway. "This is a lot more relaxing then you'd think. Well, except for the mortal terror, that is," Phineas remarks.
Ferb says, "You got that off of the internet, didn't you?" Phineas chuckles, but keeps walking down the hallway. Something catches his eye, and he dashes over to it. "Hey, Ferb, look! A map of the haunted house!"
The map is simple: a blue print of the house, with little notes scribbled on it, and a picture or two. Phineas traces the path with his finger, and says, "Let's see… Snake pit… Hall of mirrors… Quicksand room…" Ferb brushes some of the sand off his shoulder, and Phineas continues talking. "Giant Floating Baby Head room? That must be this up ahead." He opens the door to the room, and says, "So this is where they all come from!"
*I wonder how Doof is doing…*
"So, Perry the Platypus, how do you like my haunted house? I've even created a Spooky-Inator to up the eeriness in case I got some trick-or-treaters." Heinz says to Perry, who is trapped in an enormous spider web. "Now," Doofenshmirtz exclaims, "Behold, the Trick-Or-Treat-Inator!" He pulls a tarp off of the –Inator, which is a giant jack-o'-lantern with hundreds of florescent light bulbs inside. There is a large container next to it, which is filled to the brim with candies of all shapes and sizes. "Now, you see, Perry the Platypus," Heinz stops and clears his throat, as the camera is still focused on the –Inator. The camera turns to Heinz, who restarts his speech. "Now, you see, Perry the Platypus," The 'evil' scientist says, "Back in Gimmelshtump, my childhood was horrible, but Halloween was one of the worst days of the year for me.
*Flashback!*
On Halloween night, on the streets of Gimmelshtump, a young Heinz is standing on the doorstep to a house. "Trick-or-Treat!" The high-pitched and squeaky voiced child says, holding out a burlap sack. "Ich habe keine Süßigkeiten. Nun, geh weg!" Shouts a gruff, manly voice. Heinz frowns, and walks away. The same thing happens over and over, each house refusing to give Doof candy. At the last house, the man at the door shouts, "Gehen Sie zurück und leben mit den Ozelots, Heinz!"
*Back to present day Doof…*
"That last one was my father…" Heinz says with an enormous frown on his face. He looks like he's about to cry, and turns around so his back is to Perry. Perry is startled that Doofenshmirtz's father had refused to let him back in his own house after he had not gotten any candy, but then remembers all the other things Heinz's father had done in the past. Dressing him as a lawn gnome because he had had his repossessed, paying more attention to an award winning spitzen hound puppy that he had won in a game of 'Poke the Goozim With a Stick', and, worst of all, refusing to let Heinz play with his toy trains.
Heinz turns back around and looks at Perry, his eyes a little red from crying. "What?" He says between sniffles. "I- I wasn't crying, I was just sweating through my eyes." Perry rolls his eyes, and Doof calms down long enough to explain the –Inator. "The Trick-Or-Treat-Inator turns all sweets in the entire Tri-State Area into Brussels sprouts. Why Brussels sprouts, you ask? That was the only thing I would get… If I was lucky…" A small tear rolls down his cheek, but he continues speaking. "Besides, Brussels sprouts are universally hated!" Perry nods slightly at this comment, and continues trying to escape.
*Let's see how our favorite inventors are doing.*
"Hey, Ferb? I don't remember this door on the map." Phineas says while looking at a door labeled 'Secret Passage to End of the Haunted House'. Ferb looks at the map, shrugs, and opens the door.
*Back to Doof!*
Perry and Doofenshmirtz are fighting, when a door on the other side of the room swings open. Perry rips off his fedora with lightning speed, going into 'Mindless Pet' mode, leaving the costume fedora on his head. Heinz sees none of this, as he was looking at the two boys standing in the doorway.
"Gimme candy!" The large, grey-ish kid says, a short Indian boy standing next to him. The second boy says, "Buford! You are supposed to say 'Trick or treat', not 'Give me candy'!" Heinz sighs, and then gives each of them a candy bar and a pack of those weird, orange peanuts. "Told ya we should'a got a better neighborhood!" The first boy, Buford, states, as if they had discussed the topic before. The two reluctantly thank Heinz, and leave, just before the other door opens, revealing Phineas and Ferb.
"I told you we should have gone through the door that said 'The Real Secret Passage to End of the Haunted House'." Phineas tells his brother. Ferb shrugs sheepishly, but then spots Perry. Phineas says, "Oh, there you are Perry!" Heinz looks puzzled, and then asks, "Perry?" Phineas walks over to Perry, bends down, and starts petting his fur. "Yeah, he's our pet platypus." Heinz pauses for a second, and then asks, "Is every platypus named Perry?" Phineas replies by saying, "In a perfect world, yes." Heinz says, "Aww, well he's a cute little fella,"
He bends down and scratches under Perry's chin. "Hi there! Gootchie…" Perry gets slightly annoyed by this action and bites him, causing the doctor to exclaim in pain. "OW OW OW!" "Perry, no!" Phineas commands as he and Ferb try to pull the platypus away from Heinz, "We do not bite the elderly!"
Doof says, "Again, Ow. No, it's okay, platypuses don't typically like me." Heinz, Phineas, and Ferb pause, and Heinz says, "Again with the Déjà vu!"
Heinz finally remembered that Phineas and Ferb had completed the haunted house, and, reluctantly handed over a candy bar and another bag of the peanuts to each of the boys. Phineas and Ferb exchange slightly disapproving glances, thank Doofenshmirtz, and walk out the door.
"Buford was right," Ferb says as he and Phineas walk out the door, "We should have gotten a better neighborhood."
Heinz turns away from the door, and sighs. The Trick-Or-Treat-Inator is still intact, and Doof starts to walk over to it. Unbeknownst to him, Perry had left a jellybean taped to a cork in the way, and Doof trips over it, hitting the Self-Destruct button on his –Inator, making it vanish in a puff of orange and black smoke. He sees what tripped him, and sighs. He notices a piece of paper sitting nearby. Doof picks it up and reads what it says aloud.
"To Doof,
Revenge is a dish best served with candy on the side.
-Perry the Platypus"
Heinz sighs, and then screams, "CURSE YOU, PERRY THE PLATYPUS!"
Author's Note: A cliché way to end a not-so-cliché story. My birthday is the 19th, but I'm having my birthday party the 13th, (which is tomorrow,) and I'm having a Perry shaped cake! I won't have enough time to write a birthday story, but I'll try to make one for Thanksgiving. I might make a collection of these stories, once I get enough of them written. I liked having the people in Gimmelshtump speak in German, so try to figure out what they said. I thank all of you for reading this, even though it's long past Halloween. Kick it up a notch, carpe diem, and Happy Birthday to me!