Lost
"Oh, this is just splendid! Primus, why today of all days?"
Sideswipe winced, his twin's rant reaching near-Starscream decibels in shrillness and whining as the two raced across the hot desert floor. He hadn't meant for them to get lost, had followed the coordinates they had been given to the T and he'd already apologized numerous times--what more did his aft-head of a brother want?
"I finally, FINALLY score an unchaperoned date with Blue, and instead of getting him back to my room, throwing him on my berth and overloading until we're both unconscious I find myself driving along in this Primus-forsaken Pit of a dustbowl with you, my dear brother, who, magnificent map reader and scout that you claim to be, has somehow managed to get us lost in Deliverance, Gobi-edition, and..."
"Shove it up your tailpipe, Sunny!" Sideswipe suddenly snapped, making no attempt to hide his exasperation. "Primus, ol' Screamer ain't this bitchy on his worst day! I've said I'm sorry a hundred and twenty-two times already! Drop it, for Primus's sake!"
Sunstreaker growled in contempt. "It doesn't matter. We're still lost, and so help me Primus if you ever call me Sunny or compare me to that flying tin can again I will beat the slag out of you!"
"Yeah, I'm real scared." Sideswipe's words were laced with sarcasm. "Look, all we need to do is find someone who can give us directions. Besides, if worse comes to worst you can always reschedule with Blue."
Sunstreaker snorted, then immediately pouted. "Yeah, but there's always such a long line at his door! And that doesn't even count all of his so-called guardians and protectors!"
Now it was Sideswipe's turn to snort. "Be that as it may, dear brother, I seriously doubt the night would have played out as you wanted. Blue just isn't that kind of mech."
"How in the Pit would you know?"
"I went on a date with him three months ago." Sideswipe inwardly smirked at the sudden surprised noise Sunstreaker made. "We went to a drive-in movie. We even made out a little, but he didn't want to go any further. I got the standard Blue date ending: a walk to his door, a sweet kiss goodnight, and an invitation to come back and try my luck again at a later date." He paused, remembering. "Still, it was actually kind of nice, you know?"
"Obviously not." Sunstreaker's disdain was evident, but his curiosity was piqued. The two drove on for a few more miles in silence until the golden Lamborghini couldn't stand it anymore. "That doesn't sound like you, Sides. Why didn't you press him for more? Or try for another date with him?"
"With who?"
"Bluestreak!"
"Oh," Sideswipe hesitated, suddenly sheepish. "Well, I was going to try some of my old dating tricks, you know, stick my foot in the door as it closes and keep Blue yakking, then talk myself in; but when I started to make my move this hand came out of nowhere and grabbed my shoulder. Squeezed it so tight I thought I was about to lose my whole arm! Turned around, and guess who?"
"Prowl?"
"Yep. He looked at me weird, like he either wanted to ask how my date was or throw me down an empty mine shaft, and he couldn't make up his mind. Then his face went blank, pretty much back to normal for him, and he let go of my shoulder and said 'Goodnight, Sideswipe' before stepping in front of the door. I bolted. It was really creepy." Sideswipe checked the time and cursed under his breath. To keep his Twin from doing the same and starting up his rants again Sideswipe quickly added, "How'd you guess it was Prowl so fast?"
"Because when Prowl found out about my date with Blue I thought he was going to melt me down into spare parts. He called me into his office, asked what my intentions are, the whole nine yards. I told him it was none of his business, and I'll tell you Sides, the way he looked at me I honestly think that if Jazz hadn't chosen that astrosecond to walk in with some reports Prime wanted signed Prowl would have jumped over his desk and torn me to pieces. The overprotective scrap heap!"
Sideswipe sighed. "Well, he shouldn't have worried. We are well and truly lost. These coordinates are fragged up something bad."
"Why the slag are we out here to begin with, Sides? There's nothing out here. Primus, not even Cons are dumb enough to patrol out here!"
"I don't know. Fraggit, I don't even know how the Pit we're supposed to make it back home! I mean, these coordinates are all screwed up and Prowl usually doesn't make this bad of a mis..."
At that moment the same realization dawned in both of their processors. Both Lambos slammed on their brakes, coming to a dead stop with a loud screech; and as the desert dust billowed up, coating them with a heavy layer of dirt and grime, together:
"That no-good dirty son of a...!!"
Jazz entered Prowl's office and immediately froze, gaping at the sight before him. Prowl was really and truly laughing, leaning back in his chair and holding his sides as actual tears of mirth rolled down his cheeks. Then he noted the faint voices coming through the 2IC's comm-link.
"...fragging piece of rusty scrap metal, no good demented little..."
"Am I ta assume ya took care o' the ol' Lambo Twins for the evenin?" Jazz asked as he went to stand beside his mate. When Prowl finally calmed down enough to nod, Jazz put on a fake scowl. "Now, Prowlie, that wasn't very nice. Ya know ya gotta give'em the bread crumbs ta get back home, don't ya?"
"Yes, Jazz, and I will. In an hour or so." Prowl smiled. "Although I must say, the conversation is quite enlightening." He chuckled again.
Jazz let out a soft sigh as he settled into his partner's lap and laid his head on Prowl's shoulder. "Ya know, at some point ya gotta stop all this. Blue's growin' up, ya can't keep shelterin' him all the time. Yer too overprotective, it ain't healthy."
Prowl laughed. "Oh, please! As if you are not as bad! You are just jealous because I beat you to the punch for once and you didn't get to try out that new Dirty Harry meets the birds-and-the-bees gimmick you've been working on."
Jazz grinned. "OK, maybe I am just a little jealous. But who else am I goin' ta use it on?"
"Well," Prowl mumbled, as he began to gently nibble at the sensitive wires in Jazz's neck, "Skyfire was hanging around earlier. I think he invited Blue to go see a meteor shower with him next Friday."
Jazz gasped as Prowl's hands began to gently rub the sensors along his back. "Perfect! But before we go any further, I'd like ta hear some o' that show that was makin' my Prowler laugh so hard."
"Not a problem." Prowl turned up his comm, and they both settled back to listen."
"...Primus frellin' glitch, Pit spawned fragger! Argh!!"