Disclaimer: All of this owned by Nickelodeon and Dan Schneider

We both giggle as we stumble back into the elevator.

He pulls me close to him and quickly places his lips on mine as the elevator doors close.

I'm laughing again.

"Let's see what we can do in two hours," I say raising my eyebrows in mock suggestiveness.

He smirks and replies in a saucy voice, "I can think of a thing or two".

We kiss again and I laugh into his mouth at the silliness of it all.

The elevator screeches as it stops on the upper level of the Shay loft and the door slowly reveals a lonely looking iCarly web studio. Silent and dark. He pulls my hand and we're moving out into the darkness together.

I can't stop laughing and I don't know why.

Maybe because I'm afraid of what will happen if I do.

We trip, ironically, on a large stuffed banana and the next thing I know, we're falling to the ground, laughing all the way. He lands on top of me, and our faces our inches apart. Why can we not stop laughing?

I'm laughing so hard, tears are streaming down my face. Everything just seems so damn hilarious right now. I can't hear Freddie laughing anymore, and it's too dark to see if he is. My laughter slowly dies down as I feel his fingertips softly touch my cheek.

I wonder if he can feel the tears.

Tears from laughing, of course.

I can tell he wants to move closer, but he won't. I want to kiss him, but I can't. His fingers disappear from my face, and I keep feeling his arm under my back twitch. We haven't been this awkward since…the first time we kissed. Both wanting to move, but being too afraid.

Neither of us wanting to admit how much we needed each other.

Some part of me is telling saying, this isn't a good idea, Sam and another part of me is still trying to convince me that I'm not going to be hurt. He's not going to hurt you; you don't need him, he's just a dorky nerd and you were just bored, right?

I turned my head, looking into the darkness and tried to make out the shapes of the familiar objects of the web studio. I couldn't handle feeling his eyes on me anymore.

He reached out and touched my face more firmly. I inhaled sharply.

It's disappointing how close you let him get to you, Sammy. No one should affect you this much.

He leaned in and hovered right above my lips. I could feel his warm breath on my face.

We should joke. I should tell a joke. Then we would laugh. Or I could call myself mama-or call him a stupid pet name, then it would feel normal…this isn't normal…

It wasn't normal, this is different.

He finally leaned in the rest of the way and our lips met.

It started out slow, but quickly escalated. I felt tingly all over. A warmth started developing in my toes and then covered my entire body, in my core. It got hotter and hotter. I was on fire. This was new territory for us. This was fast and hot with roaming hands and desperate kisses. I had never done anything like this before and I know he hadn't either. It wasn't awkward or frightening like I had imagined it to be. It felt so natural…so right.

He was kissing my neck and my eyes fluttered open. Even though I was filled to the brim with warmth, something dark was tugging at the corner of my mind. I slammed my eyes shut and directed his mouth back to mine.

With each kiss we held on to each other more tightly, grasped each other more desperately. It was like we kept filling and filling and we were almost to the point of bursting, but not quite there yet. My brain had shut off and so had his.

He was fiddling with buttons on my shirt, I was playing the hem on his. He got the first three buttons undone, I pushed his shirt up a little higher. I was lost in his kisses, so lost I don't think I'll ever find my way out again. Another button, a little higher. He kisses the corner of my mouth, my cheek, to my neck. Another button, even higher. He kisses up to my ear, pauses, and I feel his lips part.

"Sam, I-," he starts to whisper.

"Sam, what are you doing sitting in the dark?"

The lights shoot on, and I push Freddie off of me and wrap my arms around my legs as Carly awkwardly stares at us.

"Oh, Freddie I didn't know you were still-oh gosh, I'm sorry-," and she bolts out the door.

I stare at the floor because I can't look at him and I can't believe we got so caught up in each other and I can't believe I let myself do that and I can't-

"It's 11:57…if I'm not back by 12 o' clock exactly, I'm de-."

"Dead meat, I know."

Both of our voices are thick and husky. I chance glancing at him and he's staring at me with his mouth open, like he's searching for something to say, and his eyebrows scrunched together. I pull my legs closer to my body and imagine how I look with swollen lips, tangled hair, and my shirt undone and we're both sitting here less than two feet away but with a whole ocean between us and sometimes I wish I could just shut my mind off but we're supposed to break up in three minutes and I should say something but I can't and I'm uncomfortable and confused and-

"Well, it's been a good run, kid," I finally say to shut myself up.

"I-uh…yeah, it has," he stutters.

Something hurts in my chest and I just wish he would get up and leave already because I feel my stomach dropping.

I don't look at him and I don't say anything else, so he finally stands up. I watch his shoes cross the floor, and I watch them pause at the door. I swallow and let my eyes travel up until I finally reach his eyes.

This is what's best, right? I mean…I'm sure this is what you wanted. You couldn't be with a screw up like me. You're right, I'm not normal. You need some normal. I just bring trouble wherever I go.

He opens his mouth, and then closes it again. He sighs and then finally grabs the door handle.

"Goodbye, Sam."

"See ya, Freddie."

I love you.

The door opens, then shuts.

I'm feeling more alone than I have in a very long time.

Well, I just had to write this after iLove You. I was so extremely sad, but if they had to break up Dan did really pick the best way to do it. And it left A LOT of room for them to still be flirty and most probably end up still together in the end.

So I'm choosing to experiment with that. XD

Drop me a review, please! I love, love, love to hear feedback!

Love,

Lucy.