Sorry, an inuyasha fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone in this story, and yes it is fiction, hence the name of the site.

Its been over a year. A god dammed, twelve monthes, fifty-two weeks, one year. I havent heard anything from him in that long. A year. After I came home, I thought that he would come for me in three days or so. But I guess not. I waited a week. Still he didnt show up. So then after two weeks I tried to go back. But I couldnt, he always stopped me. I started to worry. When am I supposed to see him now? Am I ever going to see him again? Of course I will I always thought...Of course I will.

I threw away my phone
I thought that you should know
I'd throw away my home
If I had somewhere to go
Anything to stop
The circle in my brain
Anything is better than you
Making me feel lame

Of course after the first month I became deeply depressed. I mean who wouldnt, after not seeing the one they love after a month? My grades were slipping even farther down, and I wasnt eating or sleeping. I was a wreck. My friends didnt know what happened, but they were still there for me, trying to help me. Pushing Hojo on me. Now I'm thankfull that they were trying to help, but I didnt need help then, I needed to be alone. I needed time to think, time to wonder about life and what should I do with it. And I got all the time I needed and more.

28 days to kick the habit
28 days to let you go
28 days and I'll be on my own
All my life I've been sorry for something
Something gets me nothing and nothings such a waste
All this time I've been sayin I'm sorry
But why should I be sorry for all of your mistakes
Why should I be sorry

The first month without him made my life hell. Shortly after that though, I peiced together my broken heart and gave my old life without him in it another chance. I thought of it as, I wrecked my life with Inuyasha, why should I ruin the life before him? So I went to school as normal, and I hung out with my friends as I usually would have. But when it came to Hojo, I couldnt do it. He brought back too many memories, and that would have ripped my heart up. Thankfully, when I explained that I couldnt date him due to the cirumstanes, he was understanding. Now he's dating another girl. But thats a different story.

I've had enough of you
Please forget my name
I'm runnin around on empty
Still tryin to get away
Anything to kill
The consciousness of you
Anything to end myself
Before the thought of you

I couldnt believe it when I started to think of Inuyasha again. It was a little over a month since I've seen or heard him. And it was well over two weeks since I last thought of him. As awful as that sounds I tried to get him out of my mind, out of my memory, so the pain would stop. Yet no matter what I tried nothing worked, he stayed in my mind all the time, everyday. The more he was in my mind, the more I thought about him leaving me all alone for such a long time. As I kept thinking the more angry and frustrated I got. I tried not to take it out on anyone around me, but the anger was so stong that it slipped through all the time. And again, my friends were still there for me, even Hojo was.

I was in denial of everything in my life, my pain, my dreams, my sorrow, my feelings. I hid that away from everyone. I didnt want anyone close to me again, so they couldn't have a chance to rip my heart up into peices. There was only one thing I thought of that could take away the pain I felt, but I could never do that. Im too much of a coward. And besides, what if I did do it, and then Inuyasha came back for me? Just because he hurt me, doesnt mean I want to see him hurt. My life seemed to slow down to a stop about three months after I left Inuyasha. The days dragged on, and the nights were horrible. I wasnt able to get a good nights rest in the three months. My skin was paler because I wasnt eating and I had deep dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep amd all the crying. How was I so foolish to keep thinking that he would come back for me? When ever I thought that, it only brought me more pain.

Now you'll know what it feels like to bite your tongue
Now you'll know what it feels like to be the one
Who walks around with knots in your stomach
I've been there, and I've done it
And now you'll know what it feels like
To always be afraid
Of everything you wanted to say
Who's sorry now

I started to blame myself for Inuyasha's actions. I thought over and over again; 'what if I didn't leave? I'd still be with him.' Of course I'll never know that for sure. I started to eat even less because of the blame I put on myself. My mind was telling me that it wasnt my fault, but my heart was telling me otherwise. I told my mind and my heart, I'd eat more and become healthy once I see or hear from Inuyasha again. However, I became terribly ill and was put in the hospital for a few days. After that I decided that I should eat, just to stay alive if nothing else. Just to keep putting thoughts in my head each morning that today was the day I got to see Inuyasha again.

All my life I've been sorry for something
Something gets me nothing and nothings such a waste
All this time I've been sayin I'm sorry
But why should I be sorry for all of your mistakes

I got a phone call today. I answered it, but there was no one on the line. After the mysterious caller hung up I decided to check who phoned me. My heart stopped when I heard the number. Then my mind began to race with thoughts and my heart felt like it was beating again for the first time in a year. My first thought was; 'Why did he call now?' It didnt take me long to decide to go over there. And the journy wasnt long either. I knocked on his door, but no one answered. That didnt stop me, I turned the handle and went in anyway. I remember calling out his name, but he wouldn't answer me. I know he could hear me, but why wasnt he answering me? I began to panic and my heart sank. I knew something terrible had happened, and I knew exactly what that was. Tears were streaming down my face as I continued to scream his name. Frantically I ran around his house checking in every room. When I opened the door to his bathroom, I screamed. All I could see was blood, and him face down on the floor. I felt like throwing up, but I couldnt right now, I needed to see if he was ok. I noticed a note on the bathroom counter and I read it silently. "Kagome, I'm sorry for all that I've put you through. I love you so."

whos sorry now?

Song: Sorry, by Ashley Simpson