Disclaimer: I don't own Watchmen. Hell, I don't even own the movie that inspired this little endeavor.

A/N: Quick note before we kick this thing off: I've never read the Watchmen comic. I want to, really badly in fact, but all I've seen is the movie (like three times). I'm telling you this so you know that I don't know how the comic might have characterized Rorschach's interactions with Walter; I don't just don't know what kind of personality Walter would have had pre-Rorschach. All I've got to go on is the movie. This is just my interpretation of the guy because I just think he was probably a bit tougher than people like to portray him.

Sorry if I got it wrong, guys.

Self Centered

Depraved. Weak.

"You don't know what you're talking about."

Saw way you looked at him. Not right.

"It wasn't like that, I swear."

Liar. Whore.

Walter Kovacs could say nothing to his alter ego that would persuade him. This was a conversation the two had hashed out more than once since Rorschach became suspicious, and there was nothing Walter could do or say that would convince him otherwise. It was tiring him out mentally, but what could he do, especially when Rorschach was partially right? Walter did like the masked vigilante's partner. He liked him a lot. More than could be considered hero worship, and Rorschach knew it and was disgusted by his weakness.

"I'm not a whore," Walter muttered, but Rorschach ignored this and grumbled, Want to be his whore, Walter? Want to be like the sewage I clean up? Should I punish you, too?

Walter shook his head vehemently, gripping his flame red hair in his hands and groaning in impotent rage. The natives passing by barely spared him a glance, most having seen the homeless prophet in a similar state more than once before.

"Shut up! Shut up! I'm not like that, I swear! I don't. I don't!" Walter leaned against his worn sign, using it for support against Rorschach's mental attack before striking back just as violently. "Well, what about you?" Rorschach's constant hissing commentary paused as he grunted, Me? Walter nodded, seemingly at nothing, and ground out, "Yeah, you. I first heard the thought in your head, Rorschach. What does that say, huh?"

The spectacle Walter was making of himself because of their argument startled the few tourists that ambled by, but he was too focused inward and didn't see their curious stares or see the one fat tourist from Louisiana who pulled out his camcorder and videotaped him thrashing around. Rorschach noticed but was also too intent on their argument to care.

No. Am not weak like you. Would never think that of best friend.

"I'm your best friend, Rorschach. Daniel doesn't give a damn about you. He thinks you're fucking insane and is scared of you. Doesn't care about you like I do."

Rorschach was so completely silent for so long that Walter thought he actually won the argument, but then, Not true.

"It is true. You're too busy kicking ass to see, but I do, and let me tell you, man, you scare him. You don't see how much thought he puts into talking to you; the slightly trembling hand on your shoulder; always waiting for you to snap and kill him. What kind of friendship is that, huh?"

It's not one, Walter. He sighed, not liking the almost unnoticeable note of sorrow in his alter ego's voice but knowing they needed to finish this argument once and for all.

"No, it isn't." Rorschach hummed quietly in the back of Walter's mind as the redhead slowly picked himself up from the dirty ground. Both were contemplating the places their argument had taken them though Walter was now more concerned about finding something to eat and a place to sleep for when Rorschach had completed his nightly patrol of the city.

Walter.

"What is it, Rorschach?"

Need my face. Walter's sure steps faltered slightly, and he had to fix his grip in the handle of his sign; it had almost slipped from his grasp.

"Why?"

Want to talk to Daniel. Walter shook his head fiercely, surprising several tourists as he did so, and growled out, "That's not a good idea. In fact, that's a really BAD idea."

Why? Times like this made Walter wish Rorschach had been born a little less naïve; it would make his life so much simpler, and he could avoid some of the awkward conversations he found himself having with Rorschach.

"I don't know, man. What do you THINK would happen if you told your crime-fighting partner that you thought your alter ego had a crush on him but that said alter ego said that he was only attracted to him because of your own latent desires?"

There was a pause.

Hurm. Would not end well. Walter snorted.

"No, it wouldn't."

Still, Rorschach mused after Walter had walked a couple of blocks, look on Dan's might be worth the trouble. Walter tilted back his head and laughed, completely oblivious to the people around him muttering, "Crazy hobo."

It was good to be so self centered.

-End-