A/N: Hey there! I'm back and bearing more fanfiction. This is going to be a short fic, but not a one-shot, so expect a few more chapters. This is…um…like completely different than any of my other fics, so don't come here expecting what you're used to from me. It's…interesting…to say the least. Haha. Wow. I think you could have gathered that from the title. This first chapter will probably confuse you a bit, but there's going to be a new POV next chapter which will explain quite a bit. Okay…so…this is going to get a bit crazy. On with the story!...be afraid. Be very afraid.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter. Or Star Wars. Or Lord of the Rings. I swear. Yeah, I know it's pretty sad, but we're all just going to have to get over it, now aren't we? tear Okay then.

The Random, Crazy, Completely Insane Tales of the Dark Lord, Voldemort

Chapter One

Lord Voldemort walked swiftly up the path-way, leading the Hogwarts gates. He was cackling maniacally, and staring distractedly at his hand for no apparent reason. Suddenly, he gasped.

"Oh dear!" he exclaimed. "I forgot to put in my colored contacts! Oh, what would Lord Vader say? I'm so ashamed," he mumbled. Lord Voldemort's Death Eater's looked at him as though he was completely insane.

But, oh no, Lord Voldemort was not insane! Of course not! He didn't understand how anyone could think that, when he had been working so hard lately, searching desperately for the ring that would give him power. It would make the ultimate horcrux and the ultimate weapon to kill Potter with. In the mean time, Voldemort was content with practicing his new lightsaber spell.

Lucius Malfoy had learned a year earlier about the Dark Lord's obsession with the supposed Sith and had looked into it, only to shockingly discover that it didn't exist at all and was actually just part of the popular muggle film series, Star Wars. He then looked into the ring his master had been searching so desperately for, and realized sadly that it was another figment of the Dark Lord's imagination from a muggle book series, The Lord of the Rings. When Lucius had expressed his concerns to Lord Voldemort, the Dark Lord took extreme offence in the thought of one of his Death Eater's thinking him crazy. He had killed Malfoy instantly. It seemed, because of this incident, his "loyal" Death Eater's continued to follow him, despite his complete insanity, out of fear.

But, oh no, Lord Voldemort could not possibly be insane!

Voldemort sighed sadly at the thought, and muttered something about completely forgetting to put in his yellow-colored contacts in order to have eyes just like his hero, Darth Vader, had in what seemed was the newest installment of the Star Wars saga. No, Voldemort thought, They're not films! It is real. Lord Vader is my hero. He uses his hatred so well! I should be more like him. When Bellatrix Lestrange had mentioned to him that Vader had ended up good in the end, Voldemort had broke down in tears. But then, he realized, instead, he could just kill her! And so he did.

Voldemort didn't care what they said.

He wasn't crazy.

The Sith were real, along with the ring.

And with that thought, Lord Voldemort looked up from his hand just in time to notice the Hogwarts gate in front of him as he ran into it clumsily. Voldemort raised his wand angry and blew the gate out of the way.

"What spell was that?" one of his Death Eater's asked timidly.

"It wasn't a spell! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? I USE THE FORCE! I DON'T USE MAGIC ANYMORE! MAGIC IS FOR WIZARDS! I AM A SITH LORD!" With that Voldemort killed the Death Eater and then smiled at himself at his wonderful accomplishment.

The Dark Lord began to skip merrily along the pavement, leading up to the castle, his companions lagging behind. Voldemort whipped out his wand once more and suddenly cast the Dark Mark above the castle.

"Ooh, fun!" he shouted gleefully as the Death Eater's did nothing but stare at him.

Suddenly, purple smoke appeared all around, clouding everyone's vision and POOF! Albus Dumbledore appeared in front of the Dark Lord. He was a gigantic blue shimmer, and rather transparent.

"YOU'RE DEAD!" Voldemort exclaimed in shock.

"I know," Dumbledore replied coolly. "I have transcended! You are not the only one who knows the ways of the Force!"

Voldemort gasped. "No!" he shrieked. "JEDI SCUM!"

Dumbledore shrugged, "I prefer the term wizard, thank you very much."

Voldemort scowled.

The transparent Dumbledore sighed. "You never will change, now will you, Tom?"

The Dark Lord was shooting the old, dead man daggers. "I like me just the way I am, thank you very much!" he shouted, flailing his arms about.

"Suit yourself, Tom," Dumbledore spoke briskly, "But in the end, you will have to pay the price."

"SHUT-UP, OLD FOOL! Just SHUT-UP!" And with that, Voldemort covered his ears with his hands and started shouting at the top of his lungs "I'm not listening to you! I'm not listening to you!"

Dumbledore sighed, waved good-bye to his ex-student, and disappeared with another purple POOF!

A/N: Next time you all get some answers. R&R please! Thanks.