Smallville with Rankin Bass. Merry Christmas! … In June…
Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Paramount and Gene Roddenberry while the Stingiest Man in Town belongs to Rankin-Bass. I own nothing.
The Stingiest Man in San Francisco
Prologue: Jean-Luc Picard
Holly-ho!
Holly ho-ho-ho!
Holly ho! Tally ho!
Sing a Christmas Carol written long ago.
Data was hanging out in the Picard house when we walked up.
"Written long ago." Data repeated when he noticed us. "The merriest of Merry Christmases to you."
"Who are you?" I asked?
"Who am I?" Data exclaimed. "Data. Welcome to the home of the kindest and most generous man in the Federation, Jean-Luc Picard." Data continued.
"What?" My friend Rob asked in shock.
"You are surprised I call Picard kind and generous." Data observed. "Well, you can take my word for it. True, Mr. Picard was not always so jolly. There was a time when he was as mean and miserable as the counting house in which he conducted his business. The offices of Picard and Dukat. Now Dukat was dead to begin with, but old Picard never paid to have Strange's name crossed out.
There was a mean and stingy man
Named Jean-Luc Picard.
His heart was hard and cold
Because he was the devil's card.
While he set down to count the gold
That is mind could never leave.
Young people in the square outside…
"Merry Christmas!" Several children called out, disrupting Picard's train of thought.
Celebrated Christmas Eve.
"Away!" Picard shouted, brandishing an umbrella. "Away with you and your 'Merry Christmas'!"
The children scattered upon seeing Picard.
"Christmas." Picard scoffed as he sat back down. "Bah humbug. Humbug!"
"That used to be his favorite word." Data explained to us. "My father was the housekeeper for Picard before he passed on, so he had me stay and do my father's old work load. Oh, Picard was a tight-fisted man. A squeezing, wrenching, grasping, covetous old sinner. Until that Christmas Eve, not too long ago, when the ghosts came. My new friends, allow me to tell you a Ghost Story for Christmas. The Stingiest Man in San Francisco."
And you'll hear it too, in a few days, hopefully. So keep an eye out.