Carver's Crush
A different take on Beware of the Brother. This was written for CommanderHawke667 who suggested Merrill as Hawke's lover instead, since Carver has a crush on Merrill in act from Carvers POV. Hawke as a male. Sorry I DO NOT do lesbian. All my Hawkes/Wardens ARE strictly heterosexual.
Carver hesitantly raised a hand to knock on the door. Three years ago, he'd made it clear to his brother that he had no place in the family estate. But family was important and he did want to surprise his brother. He lowered his hand.
He thought again. Perhaps he shouldn't, perhaps he should just go and say hello to Varric, have their usual game of wicked grace. Maybe he could go and check up on Merrill… no he couldn't ,he'd just go all weak kneed. Maker's breath! Here he was a Templar and mighty warrior going all shy over a cute, adorable Dalish blood mage.
Carver knew from chatting with Varric, that Garret had been doing his best to deter Merrill from the forbidden magic. Apparently she'd needed a Dalish artefact to fix this Dalish Mirror of hers. The mirror being the reason she turned to blood magic and her clan hating her. Luckily Hawke had realised that Merrill was throwing her life away. When the Keeper had gave Hawke the Artefact and told him that it was his choice, Garret had refused to give it to Merrill.
The fallout had been very impressive. Merrill storming away calling him a shem and further insulting him at her house, when he tried to explain his reasons. Maybe he could go and try to comfort her.
He was interrupted by his thoughts by a voice.
"Carver, glaring at the door won't make it open." He turned around to see his mother standing there, holding shopping bags.
Carver quickly opened the door and took some of the bags off his mother.
"Oh, thank you dear. Come on in, Bodhan's just baked some cookies. And your brother won't be home. Something about helping Anders." Carver's stomach growled at the mention of cookies, so he followed like an obedient puppy. As Mother pottered around the kitchen, she asked him questions.
"So Carver how have you been? Found Mrs Hawke yet?" Carver barely stopped himself from spluttering cookie everywhere.
Trust his mother to be pressing him and Garret for grandchildren.
"Erm, no. Surely Garret has his pick of the ladies…" Mother interrupted him with a snort.
"Oh he does, but he refuses to court. Too interested in his adventures and that friend of his. Maker, why can't any of my sons find a wife?"
"Maybe because I'm in the order and you are meant to dedicate your time guarding mages. And Garret is a mage, none of the nobles will not want magic in their family. If he married a noblewoman then as soon as she found out, off to the gallows for Garret. Death for me and you as we harboured an apostate."
His mother scowled at him and whizzed the plate of cookies away from him, as Carver reached for another.
"I suppose I deserved that. So what sort of chaos as my dear brother been causing?"
"Haven't you been listening to Varric? The basic facts ought to be true enough. I swear he said something about Garret ripping the arms off an ogre." Carver smiled, of course Varric would make something like that up.
"Good point, Mother. I guess you don't approve of Garret's friends, if you don't like him adventuring."
"Oh they're mostly fine. Aveline's very welcome here, so is Anders, Varric and Sebastian They are so polite and gentlemanly. The one I don't like having about is that Isabela. Hasn't any told her about trousers? That elf, Fenris, never really comes here, keeps to himself."
"Who's Sebastian? The name's familiar." Maybe he heard it while they were gathering money for the expedition.
"Oh, some chantry brother, but he's a prince of Starkhaven…"
Carver was pretty sure, his mother would have rambled on till dinner. But she was interrupted by a clatter of something falling and a cry of:
"By the Dread wolf! I was sure that bag was strong enough. Oh I'd better clean up." Carver jumped up from his chair and ran into the foyer, to find Merrill kneeling on the floor, gathering up books.
"By the Creators! Carver? What are you doing here?" Merrill's gentle, silver eyes met his sea blue eyes. Nervousness began clawing at his mind.
"Visiting my mother and hoping to annoy my brother. Here let me help you." He joined her on the floor, picking some of the books up, somehow his calloused hand landed on Merrill's soft hand. Carver felt his cheeks begin to burn red and noticed a little colour come to Merrill's. He gingerly removed it and uttered a sorry.
"So may I ask why you're here? I thought you were furious with Garret over the whole Arulanhome incident." Merrill winced at the mispronunciation of the word and gave him a nervous smile.
"Aru'linhom. And I've forgiven him a bit. I understand he's trying to protect me and everyone else from Demons. Especially me."
"Well the last thing any of us want to do, is have to kill you as an abomination. That'd be a waste of a beautiful and talented Elf." Carver froze. Did he just call her beautiful without even thinking? Merrill blushed a little at the comment, their conversations had three years ago, had always been awkward, what with Merrill checking to see if anything he had said was dirty. He supposed that was thanks to Isabela.
"Oh thank you Carver, that's so sweet of you. Hello Leandra! Hawke says he'll be back for lunch. He's just talking to Anders, who's sort of having a crisis. Poor… oh I'm rambling again, aren't I?" Carver noticed his mother give Merrill a weak smile as she walked away.
"What's wrong with my mother? Doesn't she like you?" Merrill became a little nervous and looked at her feet.
"Don't you know? Oh, Varric or Leandra haven't told you yet. I… Hawke… Your mother isn't happy at the idea of an elf moving into the estate. That and the fact that me and Garret are together…"
Carver's heart plummeted to the ground. Garret and Merrill were in love? But they'd been arguing a few days ago. How could have they gone from rivals to lovers? Carver quickly forced a smile onto his face.
"Really. I'm so happy for you. I'm sure Garret will look after you." In the distance he could hear bells ringing.
"Oh, damn it. I need to get back to the Gallows. Goodbye Merrill." Lied Carver as he hugged his mother and Merrill goodbye. Then he beat a hasty retreat.
When he was finally alone, in a Low town alleyway, he stopped and punched the wall. The bones in his hand yelled their pain, but he didn't notice.
Of course his brother had beaten him to someone he loved. Ever since he'd met Merrill, he'd been plucking up the courage to ask her out or maybe admit his feelings for her. But she'd fallen for Garret. Why not? He was the younger brother, hidden by Garret's shadow. He leaned against the wall, gritting his teeth in frustration.
He was such a fool. Why should have she chosen him? They hadn't talked for three years.
Then a patter of bare feet on stone brought him back to reality.
"Carver? Are you okay?" Came that sweet Dalish voice that Carver loved. Merrill stood there, a concerned look on that beautiful tattooed face.
"Merrill… I'm fine, I was just thinking." He cringed as his brain finally recognised the pain in his hand. He hoped Merrill hadn't noticed.
" Oh… so you're not taking your frustration out on the poor wall. Strange, how there's a dent in it and your hand's bleeding." Commented Merrill. She took a step forward, held Carver's hand and channelled some mana into him. Carver could feel the skin, muscles and bones knit back together.
"There we go. Good as new. So what did the wall do to you?"
"Excuse me?""Well, it must have done something to make you want to hit it?"
"It didn't do anything, I just needed to hit something. It's erm… stressful being a Templar." Merrill gave him a look which he knew meant, 'I don't believe you'.
"Right and it's nothing to do with the fact I'm sleeping with your brother."
"I should go…" Carver went to leave but Merrill grabbed his forearm. A stern pout on her lips. She wanted the truth. And he couldn't deny her, but he couldn't say the words.
So he kissed her on the lips. She startled, but didn't push Carver away. She actually kissed him back. Carver enjoyed the sensation, but he knew he had to pull away. Reluctantly he broke off the kiss and walked away. But not before saying:"I love you, Merrill. But Garret will be always be there for you. I know he will."
There we go, a lot of fluff about Carver. Everyone has a soft side, don't they. Well except Shale and the Darkspawn.