Disclaimer:
Joss Whedon as ascended to a level of human far beyond our own. He has taken the rights to his characters with him. Therefore I don't have them.

And just like that she was gone...

It had been months. Months of waiting. Was it really so hard? She had to come back... What other point was there in living?

They still had that fucking Buffybot walking around. Were they really that stupid? I mean, I was in love with her but they were her best friends. I kinda think they would care more. God, if I could get a word in on their stupid meetings I'd say something. But no one ever listens to me anyway.

I was taking a lot more care of Dawn lately. Obviously while they were out doing their heroic deeds, they couldn't be bothered with me. It didn't matter that I was the strongest and could... I don't know... possibly HELP THEM. Because I was a nusiance. I always had been. I wish B- ... she had just staked me early on. I wouldn't have to deal with all this sodding drama.

But back to the nibblet. She was getting so frustrated. Every night I had to hear her complain. Always the same argument.

"Y'know, she was about my age when she started slaying! I have just the same right to go help them!"

"Mmmmm-hmmm." I sipped my brew and turned back to her.

"And Willow and Xander... they were freaking useless when they started out. A couple of dorks! At least I've been fucking conditioned in all this, her being the slayer and all."

"Mmmmm-Hmmmm." She gave me a sharp look. I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"You're not even listening."

"I listened the first fifty bleeding times!"

"You could show a little bit of compassion for me."

"Well look, I'm sorry but maybe I'm a little put off by you insulting your sister and her friends..." I paused and rethought that. "Well...maybe not her friends...but her at least!"

"I'm done showing compassion. All they've ever done was ignore me." She crossed her arms.

"Excuse me?" I set my glass down and gave her a look of disgust. "I'm pretty fucking sure they care about you, considering they lost their best friend to try to save you. That includes me, by the way, so if you don't mind, I'd prefer if you kept your comments to yourself." I picked up the glass. "Your sister loved you. She sodding carked for you. So enough of this 'poor me' crap alright?" I raised my glass but she slapped it out of my hand. I stood up. "What's your problem now?"

"You're my problem! All you can do is sit there drinking-"

"Well," I raised my hands and rolled my eyes "Excuse me for trying to get a little caned. I lost the love of my life and it's kind of my fault."

"Love of your life, huh?" She got up and walked toward me. "Newsflash, limey. She. Never. Loved. You." My blood boiled. Out of nowhere, she gasped and dropped to the floor. Once it hit me that that was due to my fist colliding with her face, I tried to help her up. "Don't fucking touch me." She shooed away my hand and sat back down in her chair. An awkward ailence filled the crypt.

"I know that. I didn't say I was her love. She didn't care about me at all."

"Then why are you so protective of her?"

"Because I'm twisted. And she's dead."

"Don't say that."

"What else do you want me to say?"

"Anything. Just don't say dead."

"Why?"

"It's just so... blunt." Her eyes got a little misty.

"I know." I strolled to the other side of the crypt where I kept the glasses. I poured myself another and continued to talk. "But I can't say she passed away. We don't know where she is... If she's anywhere. There's nowhere for her to be away to." I walked back to her and sat back down in my chair with a grunt. "Can't say she's "late" because her death was rather timely if you ask me..." I could feel all the drink beginning to work it's magic. "And I WON'T say she's gone. I can't."

She gave me a puzzled look.

"You're never really "gone" are you? We have to go somewhere..." There was a silence. Finally the elephant got addressed.

"...To hell..." Dawn whispered. The mistiness in here eyes began to form into tears.

"Maybe. Maybe not. If there's a heaven, that's where she is, bit." I gestured upward breifly. "Up there. Your friends don't want to believe it because they want to be the heroes. They want to save the day. Because she's not here to do it." I looked to her, her eyebrows were knit. "Because they don't want to believe that anything good could come of her death. Only something evil could have stolen her away. All that good..." She looked like she was beginning to understand.

"...because the good always suffer."

"That's right, bit. Even us." She smiled a little.

"Dead isn't all that bad." She looked me in the eyes. I knew what she meant.

"Thanks I suppose."

R&R pleassssssseeee more chapters to come!