Sam has his head buried in research, not daring to look up because if he does then he'll have to pay attention to what Lucifer is doing. He doesn't want to know what the devil is up to. Mostly because they were in the kitchen and the last time he looked up Lucifer was deciding how to carve up a rack of pork chops. He didn't know where he had gotten the meat and honestly he didn't want to know. It was a sad thought. So he just sat in Bobby's kitchen, head down, keeping his eyes on his laptop.
Do NOT look at what he's doing. Just stay where you are, Sam.
He just keeps that thought in his mind. Don't look at him.
"What are your favorite flowers, Sammy?"
He flinches when his nickname slides off of Lucifer's tongue. He can tell he's trying to say it sweetly but it comes off sounding like he's trying to lure a kid with candy into his van. Makes his skin crawl.
"I don't know. Why?"
Keep your eyes down. Don't look at him.
He hears him huff in annoyance and let's himself look at him.
He has a knife in his hand, done cutting up the pork chops and he can't help noticing how professionally done they look. Then he remembers, this is Lucifer, the fallen angel, he's probably carved people up before. He forces his eyes back at his laptop after he imagines Lucifer as Hannibal Lector. He was SO never watching Silence of the Lambs again.
"Look, I just don't like flowers…never put too much thought into it. Why do you care anyways?"
"Just thought it would be nice. When was the last time you had a home cooked meal? Flowers on the table? Candles?"
Candles?
He turns to him again to see him now cutting up apples with a smaller knife. His eyes survey the room for the larger one he had been using for the pork chops.
"Dinner?"
Lucifer's eyes slowly look at him as if he is surprised by the idea, as if he's trying hard to not know what Sam is talking about.
Satan was cooking him dinner? Was this the end of the world? Dude, did hell just freeze over?
"What? I can't do something nice?", Lucifer turned back to the apples he was chopping into small bite size pieces. The hunter watched him in bewilderment. What the hell was going on?
"Nice? You DO remember who you are, right?", Sam feels like he should go and get Bobby or Dean, tell them there was something wrong with the fallen angel. Then the thought of them laughing at the idea of the fallen angel cooking, Dean asking if he was wearing an apron that said 'kiss the chef' pops up.
(He feels like if Lucifer wore one it would be something pink and frilly or one of those with the fake hairy chest on it, and either made him feel ill to think about.)
Lucifer stops with chopping the apples and puts them into a bowl and puts it next to the plate that has the uncooked pork chops on it. He wipes his hands on a small dish towel that is hanging on the cabinet door before he snaps his fingers and a bushel of asparagus appears, "Yes, I know who I am, don't ever doubt that. I just thought since I'm here and all, that I could do something. Trust me, watching you lovely bunch of hunters is not as entertaining as you would think. Plus, there's only so much I can do without Michael spanking me with a ruler." He then gives Sam this evil dirty look that he could see Dean giving him while talking about a recent porn he watched that had to deal with nuns and Catholic school girls. The hunter shudders.
"Then why dinner? Why not clean up the ecosystem or stop a bank robbery?"
Lucifer laughs, causing Sam to jump back just a bit in surprise. The devil laughing is never a good feeling. Makes him feel like someone in the world has just dropped dead suddenly on the street. Like the blood in his veins has just run cold. That maybe, just maybe, the Boogeyman is actually real and waiting for him right now under his bed.
"What do you think I am? Bruce Wayne? Batman? Please! I'll leave you humans to take care of those things.", he points at Sam with the bushel of asparagus he has in his hand as he heads to the sink, turning it on, "Besides, why would I want to do that for?"
"Well, for one, it's something nice and you just-"
He shrugs as he washes the asparagus and Sam wonders why he didn't just make it clean instead of taking the time to do it himself, "I said I wanted to do something. Never said it HAD to be nice." He turns off the water and flings the asparagus a little so it gets some of the water off and grabs a paper towel, putting it down on the counter before he puts the green bushel down on it. Sam goes back through their conversation in his head and hates to admit that yes, he was right. He never said he had to do something nice, he just simply chose too.
That's what really scared him. Lucifer CHOSE to do something nice. There had to be a catch.
"You want to do something, so why do something nice?", Sam tries to keep his concern hidden and speak confidently, but up against the devil himself it's a little hard to do so. You can only be so vocal. Because, let's face it, he runs hell. You can't kill the devil. You can only lock him away.
He watches as Lucifer's shoulders shrug, picking up the plate of pork chops and the bowl of the apples, "I don't know, just wanted to. Pick up the asparagus and follow me.", he doesn't even wait to see if Sam follows, he just walks and nudges the door outside open and walks out. Sam sits there a moment before he gives a frustrated huff and gets up, grabbing the asparagus in the paper towel and walks outside.
Once outside he sees that he's no longer in Bobby's yard.
He's on a large porch that's surrounding a cottage in the woods near a rather large and clear lake. It seems later then it had been at Bobby's and Sam has to go through his head and figure out what time it had been the last he checked. Of course he can't actually remember the last time he looked at the time to simply know what time it was. Usually he looked at the time to figure out how long till something happened or how long ago something had been. Never to simply know the time. All he knows is that sun set is close by.
Lucifer is now at a grill and is putting the pork chops on it and there is a food processor set up and he's dumping the apples and other ingredients that are set up into it, pushing the button. Sam watches as he is concentrated on what he's doing, keeping an eye on the meat as well as how finely chopped the apples are becoming. He then looks around as if he's missing something and he turns to Sam and makes an 'ah ha!' face, "I need those now." Sam looks down to see the asparagus still in his hand and walks over handing it over. Surprisingly Lucifer takes them carefully and sets them one by one on the grill. Once he's done that he checks the pork chops. Sam is certain that he's speeding up the process with his funky mojo so that everything is cooking at the same time and will be done at the same time.
"Okay…what's going on?", Sam can't take it anymore. He crosses his arms as he looks around where they are again. He has no idea where they are and he knows he should call Dean and Bobby. He searches for his phone in his pockets and finds it missing.
"This, my dear Sammy, is just a nice dinner between friends, "Sam blanches at the word 'friends', "having a nice night together without any distractions.", the 'chef' looks up at him knowingly and gives him a grin. Sam can see it's supposed to be serene, but it still seems creepy.
"Friends?"
He watches as Lucifer rolls his eyes and quickly flips the pork chops and asparagus over and they are both grilling nicely and perfectly.
"What? I can't consider you my friend? That hurts, Sammy."
The hunter really wants him to stop calling him that, but he's afraid Lucifer will get really upset and leave him in the middle of some deserted area without a phone or anything to contact his brother and he really doesn't want to be stuck somewhere. Dying while in a desert isn't how a hunter should die.
"Well, do you want me to list chronologically or alphabetically why it's weird you consider us friends?"
Lucifer slumps his shoulders and Sam watches as he shakes his head, "Look, I just want to have a nice night with the one person I think I can consider a friend, is that so hard?" Now Sam sees it. The honesty. The brutally honesty. The devil is telling the truth.
Sam opens his mouth to comment but nothing comes out. He doesn't know what to say. What exactly are you supposed to do at a time like this? There isn't a hot line for this kind of thing. No college course. Not manuals on how to talk to the devil when he admits he thinks of you as a friend.
Finally he manages to get out a "Um…no…" and Lucifer looks satisfied by that and turns back to the food he is cooking. He tastes the apple concoction in the food processor and makes a happy hum at it and conjures up two fancy places and places two nice helpings of it in the middle of both plates and sets them down a moment as he checks on the asparagus and pork chops. Sam just quietly watches him do his thing.
He never saw the fallen angel so concentrated, so devoted to something like this. Usually he was messing around, playing tricks, annoying him but right now he was calm and had a (sadly) friendly aura coming off of him that Sam slowly welcomed.
Lucifer placed two pork chops on each plate on top of the what Sam now knew was applesauce, and put asparagus on each plate as well. Once he was done with that he took the plates and motioned for Sam to follow him. This time Sam didn't hesitate. He followed him to another area of the porch.
Lucifer led him to a table with a nice white table cloth on it with two candles and two crystal clear wine glasses with a nice bottle of merlot. Sam was very impressed. Never had he thought Lucifer could do something like this. Something so nice and kind and…
...sweet.
Lucifer set the two plates down and motioned for Sam to join him. He took a deep breath and sat down in the seat opposite him. When he sat down the candles lit themselves and he jumped a bit in surprise, expecting a waiter to come out of nowhere to light the candles and pour their wine.
Instead Lucifer grabbed the bottle and motioned to Sam, "Wine?" There could be something wrong with the wine. It could be poisoned.
So of course Sam nodded and was about to pick his glass up but Lucifer took it and filled it for him. Sam gave a nervous grin in thanks and Lucifer grinned, pride radiating off of him and he filled his own glass. Sam swirls the wine in his glass a bit before he takes a sip and he's amazed at how good it tastes. He can't sense anything wrong with it and relaxes even more when Lucifer even takes a sip himself. Sam then turns his eyes down to his plate.
He saw him cook but he doesn't know what to think about it. What if the food had been poisonous from the start?
He can sense Lucifer watching him, waiting for him to take the first bite. With a bowed head and a quick prayer he cuts up a piece of the pork chops with the apple sauce and takes a bite. As he chews he has to admit that it's wonderful, better than anything else he's ever had, which isn't saying much because his diet consists of mostly fast food or things thrown into a microwave.
He gives him a satisfied look and Lucifer grins and digs in as well, accomplishment clear on his face. They sit like that, eating a wonderfully cooked meal with small smiles on their faces. Sam doesn't know why he's smiling but he can't help it. Just feels nice. He glances at the other occupant at the table. Lucifer isn't looking at him, his eyes are looking at the lake as he eats all dignified and Sam's pleased.
The dinner. The lake. The manners.
It's all nice and perfect. Too perfect.
He glances over to the side to look at the lake to see the sun setting. Way too perfect.
And that's okay. He's really okay with it, as cheesy as it is. But he can see that Lucifer was working hard, actually trying to do something nice. For him.
"Why did you do this?"
Lucifer's eyes tear away from the sun set and fall on Sam and he sees the curiosity there. Not curiosity at the answer. Curiosity at why Sam keeps asking.
"You really don't get it, do you?", Lucifer grins with amusement and Sam has a small spike of fear at it. But the maliciousness vanishes quickly.
Sam raises an eyebrow, leaning forward a bit, "Don't get what?"
Lucifer sighs and takes his napkin, dabbing his mouth with it in a meticulous manner before he props his elbows on the table and clasps his fingers in a steeple as he looks at Sam, "You deserve it.", Sam's eyebrow furrow in surprise and confusion, "You've been through a lot. Seeing you work even though you've gone through all the shit, the death, and the fucking apocalypse…hell, I think you need a vacation."
Was there an impressed look on his face? It had come and gone so quickly Sam isn't sure what the look on Lucifer's face was.
More important Satan thought he deserved a vacation.
"Let me get this straight…", Sam leaned back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose as he thought a moment longer, "You, Lucifer, thought I deserved a vacation so you cooked me dinner and brought me to some lake in the middle of God knows where?" He doesn't have to look at him to know he's nodding as he lets out a 'Yeap!'.
No snakes? No snarky comments? No explosions? Lucifer was generally being nice. And he hadn't done something suddenly to end it?
Sam stayed quiet a bit longer and just watched him now.
Lucifer watched him, not saying anything, looking amused at all of Sam's confusion. One moment Sam was certain things would end badly the next it just seemed like a really good day then something would be said and he wouldn't know what to think anymore.
"You know what, here.", Lucifer bent down to pick something off the ground and then Sam was being offered his own phone, "Don't believe me? Then call Castiel. He'll take you home and I won't stop him." Sam watched him a moment longer then looked at his phone.
Sam took his phone, but only waved it at him, all warning like, "Okay, I won't call him now. I'm keeping my phone though." Lucifer sighed, but had a good natured look on his face, like he had expected it.
"So, how about desert?"
"You made desert?"
"Oh, Sammy dear, there's a lot of things you have yet to find out about me."