A/N: Hello! First off, major spoilers for Dragon Age: Inquisition so if you don't want to be spoiled, I would stop reading after this sentence. So I got the idea for this while scrolling down Tumblr and found a post about the idea of an AU where Lavellan found out about Solas being the dread wolf and instead confronting him about it, she just made a bunch of wolf puns. I couldn't resist writing a small one-shot on it since it seemed like it would be fun to write. I don't remember where the post came from but when I find it again, I will be sure to credit the person!
Oh and as a warning, my puns are really, really bad XD Like cringe worthy... I hope you enjoy the story :3
Disclaimer: I don't own the Dragon Age universe or any of the characters from the game (cries), I only own Aria which is a start...
Aria Lavellan wasn't known for her grace or for her tact with words, nor for her stealth or fighting abilities. Instead, she was known for her mischief and mayhem, for her pranks and her strange ways of getting revenge. It wasn't that they didn't hear of anything else but the mischief she got into was just the one thing that everyone remembered. The young elf didn't mind though, knowing that the tells of her revenge tactics kept most people from lying, betraying, and harming her.
Her revenge was something to fear- something almost everyone in Skyhold knew. They had all learned that when they had found Sera tied to a tree by her feet with her hands tied behind her back after she had dropped a grasshopper on Aria's head- something the Dalish elf was deeply afraid of. And then again, when they had found Cassandra stomping out of Skyhold in bright pink armor with lacy hearts glued everywhere.
Aria had been confronted by her companions about her revenge tactics multiple times, and almost each time, she would simply smirk and say that she had chosen Elgar'nan's symbols for her Vallaslin for a reason. She had been proud to bear his markings, identifying with him the most, or she had been proud before Solas told her what her Vallaslin really was. Even so, she was still proud that her revenge tactics seemed to stop people from messing with her most of the time.
Well, everyone but Solas. He didn't seem to fear her revenge tactics, nor was he worried about the first two since he had been doing so since they very first met back in Haven. That had been months ago, and in that time, Aria had uncovered things about him that he tried to keep hidden and away from everyone that associated with him.
Aria, being the observant rouge that she was, found out his secret a mere week after the events at the Temple of Mythal. Slowly, she had been piecing everything together until she finally came up with the truth along with evidence to back it up if Solas tried to deny it. Even though Aria had enough evidence to confront him, she didn't, opting to instead show him just how bad her slow revenge could be.
Aria had decided to do the first step of her revenge when Solas, Blackwall, Varric, and her went to the Western Approach to help out with the soldiers having difficulties with Darkspawn. They had just finished setting up camp for the night, and were starting to eat the soup that Aria had prepared for them. Blackwall and Varric were talking to each other near the fire while Solas sat a little ways away, looking up at the night sky with a strange look in his eyes. Aria grinned as she saw her chance and she slowly walked over to him, her eyes narrowed as she zoned in on her prey.
"Hello... Solas," Aria said slowly, leaning against a dead tree that had managed to stay upright, despite obvious attempts by bandits to pull it down. She glanced down at the Elven mage, her amber eyes brighting in amusement. With as much as a straight as she could manage, Aria casually asked, "howls it going?"
The sight of Solas jumping and choking slightly on his soup nearly made Aria loose herself in laughter but she managed a calm, even face- even managing a look of worry to cross her face. "Wh-what?" Solas stuttered once he had managed to clear his throat, his eyes wide with fright. For a moment, Aria almost felt bad.
Almost.
"I asked 'how's it going?'," Aria said innocently, knowing not to repeat the phrase in case he actually caught on. She knew he was bound to eventually, but she wanted to torture him for as long as possible. 'It's what the bastard gets for lying to me,' Aria told herself darkly as she excused herself from Solas' presence to make her way to Blackwall and Varric, leaving Solas to sit and wonder if she knew.
She had another chance later that week, when they had been fighting Darkspawn near the keep. Aria had been shooting arrows at every Hurlock that dared to get to near to her team when a Hurlock Alpha had come out of nowhere, taking them all by surprise. The creature had imminently caught her eyes and charged toward her with a speed that was rare for its kind and swung it'smaul toward her. Aria's eyes had filled with terror, not able to dodge the weapon in her fright and surprise.
Right before the maul hit her, she faintly heard someone shouting her name before a bright blue barrier appeared around her, taking most of the damage from the maul. Even so, the swing was enough so make her body go flying backwards, landing harshly on the ground and knocking the air out of her. Aria let out a shaky gasp, pain flaring up her body as she struggled to sit up. The barrier might have taken most of the damage from the maul, but it hadn't done anything for the fall.
Aria looked up in time to see the Hurlock fall to Blackwall's sword, the creatures black blood dripping off of his sword and making a stream in the sand. A groan left Aria's lips as she placed her head in the sand, rolling over so she was on her back
"Inquisitor!" She heard Blackwall's gruff voice shout as he, Varric, and Solas hurried toward her."Are you okay?"
"Ugh, I just got hit with a damn maul! What do you think?" Aria snapped, the pain instantly putting her into a foul mood. She winced when she realized what she said and let out a strained, "sorry..."
"Hold still," Solas commanded as he tried to heal her but her constant squirming stopped him from doing so. Aria felt the urge to growl but instead just huffed and turned away from him with a pout. A more reasonable part of her said that it had to be Solas who but the barrier around her (and most likely saved her life) and that she should thank him but her pride stopped her from doing so. Not only that but a large part of her was still angry at him and refused to show any sort of gratitude or compassion to him. Instead, she decided to continue with her revenge as he asked, "how are you feeling now, Inquisitor?"
"Pawful," Aria groaned for dramatic affect. Solas stiffened as soon as she said that and his eyes widened, catching him off guard. "But-"
"What did you say?" Solas interrupted, his voice straining towards the end. Their was a nervousness in his eyes that made her pleased, knowing that her revenge was going exactly as she planned. Aria, again, almost burst out laughing but restrained herself.
"I said I felt awful but that I would live," Aria smirked before letting Blackwall help her up. Solas was still gaping at her, as if he couldn't comprehend what was going on. Just to mess with him more, Aria asked, "what's wrong? Dread Wolf caught your tongue?" Aria let out a soft giggle before beginning to walk back to the keep since they had felt with the last of the Darkspawn. When she saw that Solas hadn't moved from his spot, she turned slightly to face him, now smiling widely, and said, "hurry up Solas! I want to get home to Skyhold by the end of the week... I promised to make Sera woofles!"
Although Aria knew her puns were probably getting progressively worse and worse as she taunted Solas, she couldn't stop. Whenever he was around her now, he would look at her weirdly and tense up when she talked to him- as if waiting for her to deliver another horrible pun. Aria was surprised by Solas' resolve, she had thought he would have confronted her by now but he hadn't. This didn't bother Aria though, instead, she felt pleased since it gave her more and more time to make her puns and watch as Solas got more and more nervous.
It had been about a month after Aria had started to use her puns when he finally did confront her.
Sort of.
It was late into the night, with most people asleep in their beds but Aria had been unable to sleep and instead was up in the library, reading one of Varric's books. She had been leaning against the railing when she heard the sound of shuffling going on down below and she glanced down to see Solas painting. A smirk made its way to her lip as she set down her book, knowing exactly what she wanted to do.
'This is it,' Aria thought to herself as she eyes her prey. 'My last pun...'
"Hey wolf-boy," Aria shout-whispered, feeling a way of delight when he whirled around to look at her with shock in his eyes. "Nice painting! It looks pawsitively pawsome!"
The sound of her laughter rang through the cylinder building as she pulled back, forgetting about how late it was as she let out all her pent up amusement. She barely heard the sound of Solas growling in frustration through her laughter, barely catching the end of him as he stalked up the stairs that would to where she was.
"If that's how you want to play, Aria, then so be it," she heard Solas growl. Her laughter died in an instant, his tone was dark and filled with annoyance- he had never used that tone with her before.
'I must have really made him angry,' Aria thought, wincing. 'I knew that I would from the start but maybe, just maybe, angering the Dread Wolf wasn't my best plan...'
Aria didn't stay long enough to see what he meant for she quickly jumped down from the railing, landing heavily on her feet before she took off running to her room, locking the door behind her. She leaned her head against the door and let out a sigh of relief as soon as it was locked, telling herself that Solas couldn't get in and that she was safe from him for the moment.
'I'll just avoid him tomorrow,' Aria thought to herself, ''cause I have a feeling he didn't appreciate my puns and is going to be mad at me for not confronting him... Oh well...'
As soon as the thought passed through her mind, she felt a change in the air around her and she snapped around, her amber eyes meeting Solas' blue steel pair. He looked utterly calm, leaning against the wall as if he belonged their with none of his pervious anger on his face. Aria was shocked, not understanding how Solas could have got into her room since she had locked both of her doors and always had the windows that led to her balcony locked.
"What's wrong, Aria?" Solas asked, a hint of mocking in his voice. "Did the Dread Wolf catch your tongue?"
'I am so screwed...'
A/N: And that's the end! I hope you enjoyed it- even if it wasn't that great!
I think the 'woofles' pun was the worst thing ever XD
Till next time :3
