Travails in Time
Disclaimer: Neither The Magnificent 7 nor Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to me.
A/N - No, I don't really think that Ezra would be this accepting, but the muses and I aren't in the mood for angsting right now. It's just a bit of fun :) Plus I picked 1875 as the year, as I can't remember if an actual date was established in the series.
So to sum up – OOC Ezra, silliness and a complete lack of beginning, middle & end. All you have to know is BtVS & Magnificent 7 not mine, but in this 'verse, I'm the king!
Thanks, as ever, to RevDorothyL for the beta. Any remaining mistakes are mine.
Previously posted at Twisting the Hellmouth.
"Damn it, Alyssa. When I say don't touch, I mean *do not* touch. You girls carry on like this, and rule 1 is going to get bumped from the top spot," Xander growled out as he dropped through the portal behind the startled slayer.
He swung his axe, hamstringing the purple-tinged demon that had also slipped through. "You deal with that. I'm going to save that guy over there from the vampire *you* just let through into this unsuspecting burg, dimension… whatever."
Years of experience gave Xander the edge he needed to swiftly dispatch the vampire that had the red-coated man pinned to the wall.
"You alright, buddy?" Xander brushed the ash absently from the man's jacket as he watched Alyssa take the demon apart piece by piece.
"What just…?" Xander abruptly cut the vamp victim off with a curse.
"Finish it now, the portal's closing!" Xander cried out, moving quickly toward the fighting duo.
Alyssa reacted swiftly to her watcher's command, and even as the pair dove toward the rapidly shrinking glow, the carcass was dissolving into a purple puddle.
Xander felt a moment of despair as he realised they weren't going to make it. With a quick side-step he abandoned all attempts at getting himself through and gave the brunette slayer the extra shove necessary to get her back home.
Xander hit the wooden structure that lay beyond the now collapsed portal with a sickening thud. Cursing as he felt the distinctive crack of bone, Xander sagged against the barrier in defeat before starting to slowly bang his head.
"While I must express my gratitude for saving my life, I would appreciate an explanation as to what the hell just happened here!" Xander cracked his eye open to peer up at the steadily rising voice.
"Probably a gangbanger on PCP," Xander said offhandedly, wincing as his small movement sent spikes of pain shooting up his side, which distracted him from the puzzlement radiating from his questioner.
"PCP?"
"No? Er, movie production?" Xander offered. Where was the Sunnydale syndrome when you needed it? He still wasn't paying proper attention to the man as he gave a quick visual sweep for his favourite axe.
"You have me at a loss, sir. I have no idea to what you're referring, but nonetheless they still smack of poorly constructed falsehoods." The southern drawl at least relieved some of Xander's anxiety about having landed in a demon dimension, but why the hell would someone so well-spoken not understand what he was saying?
"Switch to a British accent and you'd give Giles a run for his money." Xander sighed and pulled himself cautiously to his feet. "We're testing special effects for a film, 'Aliens Vs. Supergirl in the… wild west'?" Xander trailed off as he took his surroundings in more clearly. "What the hell?"
"My question exactly." Xander pinned the man with a glare. "You and your female companion drop into existence before me, defeat two foul beasts, then attempt to vanish back into the ether. While I can't deny I like a tipple as much as the next man, I can assure you my judgement is not currently impaired."
"Are you for real? Is this a joke?" Xander practically growled at the other man.
"If it is, my friend, the joke is surely on me. What were those things?"
Deciding to go for broke, Xander nodded toward the puddle seeping into the sand. "Demon." Xander reached up to touch own throat before pointing at the other man's bleeding neck. "Vampire."
Ezra stared in bewilderment at the other man. Unlike his previous comments, this time Ezra could detect no deception from the one-eyed stranger.
"What year is it?" the man asked. Ezra studied the new arrival for a moment, taking in his unusual attire and strange weaponry, before replying.
"1875." Ezra was surprised to see the man who had fought a mythological creature pale at the mention of a date.
"Holy crap." Xander swallowed nervously, glancing around him again. This was either an incredibly elaborate hoax, or-somehow- he'd ended up 130 odd years in the past. He had a nasty feeling he knew which one was the truth. Taking a deep breath turned out to be a poor choice, as pain lanced through him again, causing him to groan softly.
"I've been remiss. Let me take you to Nathan; he's the local healer." Ezra held out a hand in greeting. "Ezra P. Standish, professional gambler and peacekeeper."
"Xander L. Harris, demon hunter and time traveller." Xander returned the shake, gripping firmly but keeping the movement to a minimum.
"Perhaps we should keep that part to ourselves. My comrades are the kind of men who need to see to believe." Ezra wasn't entirely sure he believed, and he had witnessed the whole episode. He watched as the one-eyed man picked up his weapon and settled it into a harness attached to his back.
"Sounds good. So, I saved you from a mugging?" Xander figured that for now this man was his best chance of surviving in wherever and whenever he was.
"Perhaps we could add several burly men. I do have a reputation to maintain, after all." Ezra gave the younger man a sly smile.
"I don't think you need to worry about your reputation. After all, you've just got the one scratch. I got thrown into a wall." Xander ambled along, taking in the dusty township with a hint of wonder. "So three veryburly men, tried to rob... you, or me? I tell you what: I'll let you save me, if I can have two of the big guys."
"Sounds fair." Ezra stopped at the base of the stairs to the clinic. "Are you able to manage?"
"Yeah. Just tell me you guys still have painkillers, and I'll walk up as many flights as necessary." Xander began to climb the stairs.
"I feel it's only fair to warn you that Nathan's remedies are nearly as bad as the source of the discomfort." Xander paused at Ezra's declaration.
"You're kidding, right?" At Ezra's expression Xander continued moving up, adding in a tone of disbelief. "You're telling me the cure is worse than broken ribs. What are we talking, leeches?"
"This is 1875, not 1775." Ezra snorted. "I simply mean we're out on the frontier here, so we lack the medical supplies you might find in a big city. Some of the herbal substitutes are not suited for a refined palette." Ezra shuddered.
"No worries there, then: never been accused of having a fine palette." Xander suddenly paled. "Oh, dear god. No Twinkies!"
Ezra shook his head at the newcomer's odd behaviour. He was prevented from knocking on Nathan's door by a hand on his arm.
"Slight snag: no money. I guess insurance isn't really an issue here and now." Xander was beginning to realise the enormity of his situation.
"I'll cover it for now. We can discuss my remuneration later," Ezra offered.
"Hey, I saved your life," Xander pointed out with a huff.
"I believe we agreed I saved yours," Ezra replied smugly. Xander's face fell.
"I could let you have the second guy?" Xander offered. The negotiations were abruptly interrupted as the door was yanked open.
"Ezra, what do you want? I don't have time for any of your nonsense," Nathan growled.
"What happened to you?" Nathan broke off his tirade as he saw Ezra was injured and pulled the bloodied conman into the room. "And who's your friend?"
"I'm fine, Nathan." Ezra stepped back from the healer's fussing. "Xander is the one in need of your services."
"Um, no, I think I'll be fine. Thanks for the thought, though, Ezra." Xander's nose had wrinkled at the strange smells in the room. There was no way he was going to drink anything made in a place that smelled that bad.
"I'm the only healer in these parts, so you'll have to make do with me, no matter the colour of my skin," Nathan sighed.
"What, hey, no! I'm not a racist, thank you very much. It's more to do with the stinky herbs; it smells worse than Willow's workroom in here. When Ezra said the cure could be worse than the pain I thought he was kidding, but, man!" Xander cast his gaze around the room again, suddenly pointing in horror to a cabinet. "Is that a saw?"
Xander stopped his rambling and started to back out the door. He was brought to a sudden halt as he caught the edge of the doorframe, jarring his ribs.
Nathan stopped glaring at Ezra at the stranger's pained gasp and moved swiftly forward as the man paled alarmingly.
"I don't know what that damn fool's been telling ya, but you need to let me help you." Nathan guided the now sweating man to the bed.
"It's just cracked ribs, Doc. If you wouldn't mind strapping them up I'll be on my way," Xander gasped out. At the healer's questioning look, he continued. "Had 'em before. Hazard of the job."
Nathan nodded his acceptance but proceeded to examine his patient anyway. Finally standing he moved over to grab the necessary supplies.
"Like you said, I reckon they're just cracked, but you're going to have to take it easy, else you could end up making it a whole lot worse. Ya don't want to risk puncturing a lung. Drink this." Nathan watched as the man stared distrustfully at the contents of the cup, not missing the glances being shot at Ezra. "You don't have to drink it if you don't want to, but I'm going to have to strap them up tight and it's gonna be mighty painful."
Xander sighed, already missing the wonders of the future. He made a mental note to start carrying a fully stocked first aid kit on his person at all times. If he got back, of course. Downing the contents of the cup in one swig he fought back the urge to gag as the liquid hit his taste buds.
"Gah, that's awful. What's in it, crushed bugs? Tastes like Fyarl mucus." At the odd look on the healer's face Xander started to babble. "Not like I licked one or anything because that would just be weird, but there was this one time after patrol: I was cleaning off my axe and Dawn handed me a piece of pizza, and I just ate it without thinking- not something I plan to repeat, let me tell you- and whoa, I think your bug juice is working. Feeling a little light-headed here, and hey, Ezra, you can shut me up anytime now because your friend is looking at me real funny."
Nathan glanced over at the conman and his jaw dropped in shock. Ezra was giggling, tears streaming down his face. The southerner was normally so composed it was more than a little disconcerting.
Shaking his head, Nathan concentrated on wrapping the one-eyed man's chest.
Ezra led the still shaky Xander across the street and into the saloon. He was a little embarrassed about his earlier loss of control, but he had, after all, had quite an exceptional morning. Also he was still trying to puzzle out Nathan's reaction, or lack of reaction, to the large axe that Xander had now re-strapped to his back. Ezra pulled his thoughts back to the present as he realised Xander was talking about his current situation.
"If I may propose a solution? You need accommodation and means to support yourself for the immediate future. I know the manager, as well as the owner, of the saloon, and perhaps you could tend bar in exchange for room and board," Ezra offered.
"Just bartending, right?" Xander looked around suspiciously, relaxing slightly as he noted a lack of stage and poles.
"Well, perhaps a little help maintaining the peace once you're healed." Ezra felt the man was more than capable of handling himself, and Inez may as well take advantage of it.
"A bouncer, eh? Kinda like crowd control. I could do that." Xander felt a spark of hope. It was tempered with caution, however, as his luck never usually ran quite this smoothly.
"Bouncer? I'm not familiar with the term, but you can discuss the stipulations with your prospective employer. I'll make the arrangements for a meeting once I've cleaned up." Ezra picked at the stiffening stain on his shirt. "If you'll excuse me?"
"Sure thing. See you in a few."
Xander lowered himself gingerly into a chair as he watched his sponsor to the past disappear up the stairs.
By his reckoning, all he had to do was survive here long enough for Willow to come rescue him. Alyssa should have raised the alarm by now, and at least the artefact that caused all this was back - well,forward- there and available for study. Assuming all went well – Xander winced as he mentally cursed himself for even thinking that - they should have him home in no time. In the meantime, especially now he'd jinxed himself, he'd do whatever possible to settle and survive here. It was better to be safe than sorry, after all.
"Excuse me, Señor. Can I help you?" Xander's pondering was interrupted by a sultry voice and he looked up into the face of a beautiful woman.
"Er, no, I'm fine, ma'am. I'm just waiting for Ezra. I hope that's OK." Xander gave her a smile, silently praying that she wouldn't kick him out. After all, he still had no funds, nor any clue where he was going to stay. He was relieved to find his smile returned.
"Señor Standish?"
"Yeah. I'm hoping he can help get me a job. Saved me from a beating, but sadly they got away with my money." Xander heaved a sigh, unknowingly slipping into his 'puppy look'. He thought he'd seen a flash of surprise as he mentioned how he and Ezra had met, but it was so fleeting he couldn't be sure.
The woman looked at him thoughtfully before responding. "You have worked in a bar before?"
"Yeah, briefly back in California. I'm a dab hand at carpentry, too," Xander threw in casually.
"That may come in useful around here." The woman glanced at a heap of broken furniture piled to one side after last night's fracas.
"Whoa, Ezra wasn't kidding about the need for a little peacekeeping!" Xander whistled at the wreckage.
"The 'peacekeepers' seem to start half of the trouble." The woman snorted. "My name is Inez Rocios and I run this saloon. I'll give you a try-out, tonight. If things work out we'll discuss terms after."
"Seems fair, Miss Rocios. I'm Xander, by the way. I gotta warn you I'm not up for much protection-wise right now. My ribs had an unpleasant meeting with a railing earlier." Xander shifted slightly as the words served to highlight the discomfort he was in.
Inez looked concerned. "Have you seen Señor Jackson?"
"Yeah, Nathan wrapped me up like a mummy and gave me some happy juice. I'd complain more about the taste, but I can't deny it's done the job," Xander added wryly.
"It's good to hear someone appreciating his skills." Inez nodded in approval.
"I can only hope I won't need to appreciate them again any time soon," Xander replied with a shudder. Inez gave a delightfully dark chuckle before returning to the bar.
Xander smiled to himself. Things were going better than he could have hoped. Tilting his chair back to rest on the wall as he waited for Ezra to reappear, he slipped into a light doze without realising it.
Xander jolted awake as he heard his future boss' voice lash out in irritation.
"No, Señor Buck, I will not!"
"Ah, come on, darlin': just one date. I'll take us out for a quiet meal, just the two of us. A bit of romance under the stars," Buck drawled.
"Hey, buddy. 'No' means no!" Buck blinked as a one-eyed stranger stepped between him and his great white buffalo.
"Who the hell are you? I was talking to the lady," Buck snapped.
"Yeah, and she said no, so back off." The stranger kept his gaze steady. Buck's hand automatically dropped to his gun at the threat in the look.
"Listen, boy, I'm the law around here-"
"I don't give a shit," Xander interrupted. "A badge and a gun doesn't give you the right to harass the lady. And I am not your *boy*." Xander punctuated his last comment with a significant glance downwards.
Buck's eyes widened in shock as he took in the knife just touching the fabric of his crotch.
"Easy now, son. No need to be hasty." Buck raised his hands placatingly. "Inez, you wanna call your new guard dog off?"
"Señor Xander, it is fine. Señor Wilmington would never do anything to harm me." Inez laid a gentle hand on Xander's arm.
With a nod, Xander stepped back and, with a deft flick of his wrist, re-sheathed his knife.
"Sorry, man. No hard feelings?" Xander was nervous now. He had after all threatened a real life cowboy, and not only that but a lawman too.
"I ain't gonna forget for a while, but seeing as you were protectin' a lady's honour, I'll let it slide. Buck Wilmington." Buck offered his hand.
"Xander Harris, hopefully the new bartender." Xander gave a firm grip before turning back to Inez. "When Ezra comes back down, could you tell him I'll be outside?"
"Of course, Señor Xander. Can you be here ready to start at seven?"
"As my lady commands." With a flourish and a wide grin Xander dropped a bow and left.
"Friend of Ez?" Buck watched the young man leave with a wry smile. It wasn't often someone got the drop on him, but damn, the boy was slick.
"Apparently. I've not spoken with him yet, but they did arrive together." Inez watched as the town's newest resident paused on the edge of the boardwalk before picking a direction. A soft smile crossed her features. It was a risky attitude out here on the frontier, but she liked the man already. "I think he'll fit in here just fine." Inez dropped a quick glance to the area of Buck's belt before returning to her duties with a smile.
Buck tried to look stern but failed, his features slipping into his customary grin. "Kid's as sneaky as Ez, that's fer sure."
Xander squinted as he wandered down the sidewalk, idly taking in the various businesses. There didn't seem much point going in anywhere, seeing as he was penniless. He glanced down at his clothing and thanked whoever was listening that he'd arrived here in black jeans, t-shirt, and a plain shirt. At least he wasn't standing out too badly in 'futuristic' clothing.
Xander rubbed his temple as the glare continued to nag at his head. The healer's remedy may have eased the pain in his ribs, but he was unsure if the way he was feeling right now was because his twenty-first century body couldn't handle whatever was in the 'medicine,' or he was suffering from time-lag. He grinned to himself as he thought of the hours of debate that could spark with Andrew and Layla, their geekiest slayer.
As he caught another glare off a window, he sighed; what he wouldn't give for his trusty Ray-Bans right now.
Coming to the end of the town's main street, he turned and headed back toward the saloon. He had no watch and hadn't seen a town clock, so had no idea what time it was, although he figured mid-afternoon from the sun. It was anyone's guess how people did anything on time around here. Seeing as he didn't want to be late on his first night he decided it was simplest to hang around the saloon until he was needed.
Xander approached the main doors of the saloon, but found he had to suppress his inner geek as two men crossed the street, heading to the same building as he was. One was dressed in some kind of animal hide outfit, which looked like something he'd always imagined Indians would wear, while the other was head to toe in black, complete with spurs and a cowboy hat. He felt like pinching himself – he was in the god-damned wild, wild west.
It was like the slap of a wet fish to the face as the cold glare of the man in black met his gaze. To Xander's eternal shame what followed was not one of his manliest moments as his mouth kicked into gear without fully engaging or checking which octave was currently being employed.
"Er, hi, Mr. Cowboy, sir," Xander squeaked. Xander felt various parts of his anatomy clench as the glare dropped to sub-zero. He relaxed slightly as the man turned his feral glare to his companion and growled out his reply.
"Did he just call me 'cowboy'?"
Xander felt himself slipping into pure panic as his saw the man's fingers twitch toward the shiny guns slung, oh so casually, from the man's hips. Unfortunately panic equalled babble.
"Sorry, didn't realise you were hard of hearing. No insult intended. Was it all the gunfights? You know, loud noises can permanently damage your hearing. I read once that a gunshot is the equivalent of a jet engine taking off. A lot shorter, of course. Not that you'd know what a jet engine sounds like, but trust me, they are *loud*. On the other hand, I imagine you'd have much more experience on the gun front, what with your lovely shiny guns there, uh, I mean, manly glossy guns. I bet you spend a lot of time polishing your weapon." Xander coloured, then blanched as he realised how that sounded. "Er, pardon the double entendre. Please don't kill me?"
Xander had backed himself up to the wall of the saloon by this point but daren't look to the sides for a route of escape - he was keeping his gaze firmly on the man's hand hovering near his gun. He'd seen the movies; if the man's fingers so much as twitched, he was dropping to the floor faster than a middle-aged housewife through the doors of Macy's on 'Black Friday'.
It finally sunk into Xander's consciousness that the man's hand seemed to have lost some of its tension, and he looked up cautiously.
The man with the death glare was staring at him slack-jawed while his friend had slumped back against the railing, shaking with laughter.
"My, my! Mr. Larabee rendered speechless. I shall have to post a notice in the Clarion." Ezra grinned from the doorway of the saloon as he watched his leader swiftly pull himself together. "I see you've met Xander. Xander, this is Mr. Larabee, the leader of our merry little band, and the laughing fool is Mr. Tanner, our tracker."
"Hi. Sorry, been a long day. I'd like to blame Nathan's drugs- they may taste like a dog's ass but it's one hell of a trip and pain-free. You know, I bet I could make a fortune taking the recipe back with me." Xander suddenly frowned. "Does anyone know what time it is? I've got a practical job interview to get to."
Ezra pulled out his pocket watch. "It's 5:30. You move fast, my friend, and have clearly impressed the fair Miss Rocios. I hadn't even the chance to put the suggestion to her, so imagine my surprise when she announced the position already had an applicant."
"You snooze, you lose." Xander shrugged.
"Indeed." Ezra smiled as he saw his two friends were still off-balance from their encounter with the one-eyed man.
"Where did you say you were from?" Chris asked.
"L… Er, the big city. I mean, California." Xander stumbled as he had a brain meltdown trying to remember his American history. He was pretty sure LA was a city now- he seemed to remember Zorro being older than these guys. Civil War was, over, . . . maybe. Better avoid that one too. He mentally sighed. Willow was going to milk this one, if she ever realised the ammunition provided by his lack of study right now.
"Xander was unfortunately accosted earlier today. He suffered some cracked ribs and was forced to endure one of Nathan's 'potions'." Ezra shuddered. "Come, my friend, let's get something to eat while we discuss the terms of your loan."
"You borrowed money from Ezra?" Vin gave the newcomer a sympathetic slap on the back. "Woohee, you're gonna be paying for that for a while."
Seeing Ezra's calculating look, Xander groaned. "Oh, come on. You know I just dropped in from the, er, big city. It's totally unfair to take advantage of me like that, and the first thing I did was sa..." Xander trailed off at Ezra's raised eyebrow.
"Ah, hell. Right, fine, let's go find out how you're going to bleed me dry." Xander gave in with a sigh, giving himself a mental high five at Ezra's wince. His eyes dropped to where the vampire had bitten the southerner. "Nice scarf."
"It's a neckerchief," Ezra replied pointedly. "Quite the rage in New Orleans, I hear."
"Lucky you had it in your wardrobe. Glad to have given you the opportunity to accessorize so skilfully," Xander finished with a grin.
"I find it's important to keep one's sartorial skills in practice, even out here in the dusty backwaters." Ezra sniffed and led the younger man into the Saloon.
Chris watched the pair disappear into the dark interior. "There's something going on with the two of them."
"For a minute I thought he was a bit touched, but I think ya just scared him, cowboy." Vin snickered as he slipped past his friend to find out more about the new guy. Looked like things were going to get a lot more interesting around here.
The four men had sat with Buck, and shortly after getting seated Nathan had joined them. Xander kept quiet, as the talk around the table, though brief, covered the men's peacekeeping duties.
The men had ordered meals, and Ezra had ordered Xander some food whilst offering assurances that his rates were fair. Xander had bristled at Nathan's comments about Ezra and money, feeling that unlike the others at the table his words weren't totally made in jest. A slight motion from Ezra had settled him, though Xander had caught the gambling man's pleasure at his support. The long-haired tracker, Vin, had also caught his gaze, and Xander picked up his approval too.
The conversation was just swinging round to Xander when the saloon doors swung in violently. A young energetic man swept in, followed by a big man in a poncho. Xander had automatically tensed at the entrance, his hand slipping to the haft of the axe strapped to his back as he started to turn to face the potential danger. Thankfully, Willow's notice-me-not enchantment was working despite the distance in space and time.
Ezra placed a restraining hand on his shoulder. "Easy, they are simply our fellow peacekeepers." The pair ignored the surprised glances shot at them. No one had expected such quick reactions from the newcomer, nor Ezra's unusual familiarity with someone outside their group. "The whirling dervish in front is our sheriff JD Dunne, and the large gentleman is Josiah Sanchez," Ezra explained quietly, watching as JD focused on his target.
"Buck. Have you seen the new guy in town? Apparently he appeared out of nowhere and he's only got one eye like a pirate!" JD chattered animatedly. Vin noted absently Ezra and Xander's strange reaction to the word 'appeared' but was soon distracted by the one-eyed man's reaction to JD's declaration.
"A pirate! Where?" Xander suddenly sat upright, startling JD, while looking around with mock exaggeration.
Vin and Buck laughed at JD's stricken expression and embarrassment. Xander let the young man off with a grin, and the moment was over as Inez arrived with food for them all.
"Sheriff. Gentlemen." She swiftly laid out what she was carrying before returning to the kitchen to fetch the rest.
"Enchiladas, my favourite!" JD exclaimed happily. Everyone swiftly served themselves. Xander took a bite and pleasure flooded his expression. Looking up as Inez returned with the remaining food, he swallowed quickly.
"Miss Rocios, if I'd known your food was this good I would have paid Ez double the interest just to make sure I got some." Xander winked at her as Ezra spluttered beside him.
"In that case, Señor, this one's on the house." Buck chuckled at Ezra's shocked expression. Nodding to the others at the table the Mexican woman paused beside Xander as she left. "And you may call me Inez."
Buck's jaw dropped as he stared at the unaffected man who had achieved so much in just a few hours with the feisty woman.
The rest of the meal passed companionably and Xander had just started to relax when he felt Larabee's hard stare back on him.
Josiah jumped in before their leader could alienate their guest. "So, what do you do, Xander?"
"Bit of this, bit of that." Xander dragged his gaze away from the dark-clad man. "Short attention span, so I like to try my hand at pretty much anything. Of course, I love working with wood; seem to keep gravitating back to carpentry." Seeing the avid gleam in Josiah's eye, Ezra jumped in to save his new acquaintance from being shanghaied into assisting to restore the church.
"He's just been employed by the lovely Miss Rocios as her new bartender, as well as a little extra security." Ezra caught the surprise from a number of his companions but it was of course their leader who followed up on the implication.
"You're a fighter." Chris stared steadily at the man who calmly met his gaze this time.
"I can handle myself." The statement was made with a surety that relieved many at the table; there wasn't the over-confidence that afflicted many of the young men who headed out west, but neither was there the dark ambition of a man who lived for confrontation.
"Sure can at that, pard," Buck broke in with a self-deprecating laugh. At Chris' questioning glance Buck grinned. "Xander here misunderstood Inez's attempts to play hard to get and stepped up to protect her. Nearly had me singing soprano."
Chris raised a disbelieving eye at Buck's calm acceptance. Of course, if the altercation had involved something other than protecting a lady he doubted his old friend would be quite so accepting of the threat to his manhood.
"So how did ya end up in Four Corners?" Vin asked.
"Oh, you know how it is, you're wandering along on patrol, then *pow* you stumble into something and your world gets turned upside down." Xander grinned at the puzzled looks. "Didn't mean to come here. I just dropped in on my way by." Ezra let out an inelegant snort, causing another ripple of surprise round the table.
"So, he a friend of yours then, Ezra?" Chris gave the con man a suspicious look.
"Of a sort. I saved Mr. Harris from being robbed by three unsavoury characters. Quite menacing."
"Large, very large men," Xander added pointedly. Ezra rolled his eyes, the demon-hunter was certainly *not* skilled at dissembling. "Ezra tackled two of them, but unfortunately they got away with my money." Xander tried to look upset but failed to contain a small smirk.
"Where? I'll send Vin to track them." Chris called their bluff, not missing the look of concern Xander sent at Ezra.
"I'm sure they'll be long gone by now, Mr. Larabee. Xander and I have come to an amicable solution to his financial woes until he has set himself up," Ezra said blithely.
"Cut the crap, Ezra. What happened?" Chris growled, pinning the pair with a glare.
Xander edged his chair back and slightly behind Ezra's. "Don't look at me; you know I'm a bad liar," he told Ezra at the gambler's look of exasperation.
"Very well, I was passing down the alley between the mercantile and the bank when a strange glow rent the air. Two vicious creatures ran through. I was naturally stunned by the phenomenon, allowing one to attack me and attempt to feast upon my neck. Xander leapt heroically through in pursuit and slew the beasts, suffering his own injury in turn, leaving him stranded in our quaint town." Ezra deadpanned.
Silence fell over the table until it was broken by several voices at once. "Bullshit."
Xander tried to hold it in but it made his ribs hurt too much, so he burst out laughing.
A slight twitch of Ezra's lips had Chris surging out of his chair, but the gambler swiftly dodged back to avoid the grab.
"Fine. Xander is an old acquaintance from California, and if Inez is amenable he'll be working in the saloon here." Ezra exchanged a glance with the one-eyed man, who shrugged in reply.
"I'm going to work a shift here this evening to see if I can convince Inez to employ me until my friends can collect me." Xander said with a smile. "I'm hoping that, if nothing else, she'll let me sleep on the floor tonight at least."
The group settled down once more, and they resumed idle conversation.
Finally JD gained the confidence to ask the question that had been bugging him since he met the new guy.
"So how did ya lose your eye?" Buck reached out and slapped the back of his head. "What?"
"Some things ya just don't ask, boy." Buck sent an apologetic look at Xander. At JD's contrite look, Xander waved him off.
"It's OK. Crazy preacher gouged it out with his thumb." Glancing at Josiah, Xander finished with a smile, "Don't worry. I don't hold it against the profession as a whole."
"I'm glad to hear it." Josiah's soft rumble was filled with apology anyway.
"Claimed I saw too much. All I saw was him beating down on some girls. I couldn't stand by and do nothing, so got my ass handed to me instead," Xander finished.
"What happened then?" JD asked, then flushed, realising he should have kept quiet again.
"He's dead." Vin's quiet words were a statement. No man would be that accepting about an injury so severe without knowing vengeance had been taken.
Xander gave a brief nod. "Went up against the wrong girl." He smiled at the others at the table. "Good to have friends to back you up."
Inez interrupted the group. "Señor Xander, would you be able to start now?"
"Sure thing, Inez." Xander rose and began to say his farewells. Josiah made a move to leave as well.
"You're leaving early, Mr. Sanchez," Ezra commented.
"I'm heading back to the church. It's about time I got 'round to cleaning and polishing my guns." Josiah was mystified as silence fell over the table.
The moment was broken, surprisingly, by a snicker from Chris. It was swiftly followed by laughter from Vin, Ezra, and Xander.
Buck, Nathan, JD, and Josiah exchanged bewildered looks as the other four men struggled to breathe.
"What?"
Xander finally pulled himself together, clapping Ezra on the shoulder.
"You know what? I think I'm gonna like it here."
End