I remember holding him for so many nights now. He fell asleep every time with tears in his eyes. It was as if a cloud had installed over his head and would never go away. At first, he screamed. The first day he knew, the day he remembered, he didn't want to see anybody. He locked himself in his room and, from time to time, you could hear his screams. His pain was like a thousand needles running through my heart, my very soul ached at the thought of him being in so much pain. There must be something I can do, I said to myself. There wasn't.

The day after, he didn't scream. But the silence, although it seemed calmer, was even more painful.

It was the third day, at almost midnight, that I had the courage to enter his room and confront him. He had been in silence all day, like the day before, not crying, not screaming, just quiet. He had to eat at least. And he wasn't going to do it unless someone told him to. I knocked on his door. No answer. I entered anyway. I saw him then, he was sitting on the floor, his back next to the bed. With his arms around his knees. He was wet from top to bottom, part from his tears and part from his sweat. It was hot. Just by the look of his face, I could tell he was very sick. However, what scared me the most was his eyes. The way he looked at me when I entered the room. It was as if he was not seeing me. They looked as if they had no life in them.

I approached him carefully, slowly, trying not to startle him in any way. I put my hand on his forehead to see if he had a fever although I could tell he had one without the need to feel it. He was burning. I then realized he was breathing very fast. I caressed his face trying to soothe him.

"Sabo" I whispered to him, almost in tears.

And then I felt his hand gripping tight on my arm. He was so strong he was hurting me, but I didn't move. He stayed like this for a few seconds when abruptly he began to cry. Everything he had locked in himself the last three days came out like a rainstorm. I hold him like a baby. I petted his head and I told him everything was going to be okay.

He left my shirt soaked with tears. At one point, I managed to put him on the bed. We laid there for hours and eventually he stopped crying. We stayed there though, not speaking, not looking, just holding each other.

In the morning, I left the room while he was still sleeping. I went to make some breakfast for both of us. When I came back, he was in the exactly same position he had when I left, but this time I took the time to gaze at his face. He had the looks of an angel. And his expression was so peaceful I felt bad I had to wake him. I waited for five minutes, not able to take my eyes off of him, until I forced myself to call him. He really needed to eat.

I gently caressed his head running my fingers through his golden hair, and whispered in his ear "Wake up Sabo". I even dared to kiss him on his forehead. He opened his eyes very slowly, a little bit disoriented he looked at me as if not understanding what I was doing there. His eyes were red and sore from all the crying. It looked as if he was going to say something but thought it better and stayed quiet. I had not heard his voice in almost four days now. Except from the sobbing and screaming.

"I brought you breakfast." I said giving him the tray I had left on the table. He looked at it with no intention of eating one bit.

"Look Sabo, I cannot possibly understand what you are going through right now, but we all have suffered in our own way. And we have all gotten over it. You can do it as well. But you need to eat, you won't help yourself in any possible way if you starve yourself to death, so please stop being silly and just eat something."

No reaction whatsoever.

"Sabo, at least help me understand, from what you said three days ago when you read about Ace's death on the newspaper, Ace is your brother right?" He looked at me with anger in his eyes, maybe it wasn't the best way to help him by reminding him of all this. But I had to try everything I could. "And just before you started screaming you said one name. Do you remember?"

Nothing

"You said Luffy" He looked at me. "Everyone says that Mugiwara no Luffy was Ace's brother. Does that mean that Luffy is your brother as well?"

"Luffy" He said. "Luffy's my… little brother" He, then, grabbed a spoon and started eating the food I brought him. I couldn't help sighing in relief. He ate slowly first, one spoon at a time. But the more he ate the more ho realized how hungry he was and he ended up eating with both hands at super speed pace and like an animal. That's more like the normal Sabo, I thought smiling.

Afterwards he started telling me all about him Ace and Luffy. Where they lived, how they met, how they became brothers. At times he smiled, at times he felt silent and sadness would pick through his eyes, at times he was angry. How could he have forgotten all of this? What kind of person that made him? Why had he not been able to save his brother?

"It is all my fault." Said Sabo in the end.

"What? How can it be your fault?" I said to him.

"If I hadn't lost my memories, if I had been there I would have saved him."

"Do you really think you could have made a difference? I think, Sabo, that you cannot change what's in the past. What would have happened? You will never know, so it's best to look forward, and leave the past behind. And besides, Luffy is still alive somewhere right?"

"Right. I want to see him."

"I'm sure you will. Someday. Right now he must be hiding in some place recovering from all his wounds. But he will be okay."

I got up, seeing him better I decided I could leave him for a while, although I wanted to stay with him for as long as I could, but maybe he needed some private time now to sort all of his thoughts out. So I took the tray and said goodbye to Sabo. I asked him if he wanted to have lunch with us. He answered he wasn't ready to meet everyone yet. I respected his decision on the condition that I'd still give him something to eat. He laughed and agreed.

At midday as I promised him I brought him lunch. I checked on his fever and I was relieved to perceive that it was going down. He had showered and his face looked so much better. However, there was still a look of sadness in his eyes and that would only go away with time.

As I was going to leave again he asked to my surprise.

"Will you stay with me tonight as well?"

So he remembered. I thought from the look in his eyes this morning that he had forgotten. I thought the fever was so high yesterday that he had been dizzy all the time and couldn't remember a thing. I was so happy to realize I was wrong.

"If you want me." I answered.

"I do" was all he said. And I spend all afternoon smiling like a fool waiting for the night to come like a child waits for Christmas.