a/n: hey guys, this piece was written to a piece of music and I think that it would be worth listening to as it really adds to the story! Its called Behold the great King of England and its from the tudors soundtrack so TO YOUTUBE MY FRIENDS! ENJOY!

Mary

I was entrapped in a loveless marriage to Richard and I knew that I was dying, both from heartbreak and from the disease that I had contracted a few months ago. I had not told Richard of my condition, especially now as I was deteriorating rapidly and felt that it would be best not to as I would rather die in peace rather than bear this life any longer. I had already arranged a coffin that only Anna knew about and it was hidden deep within the vaults at Haxby, only to be brought out when my time had come. Richard had invited Matthew over to stay with us, as he knew it would hurt me. I knew Matthew was only across the hall which made my heartache worse as we had hardly spoken since Lavinia's death. It was about midnight and I stood up in my thin white nightgown and limped weakly over to the window, coughing into my now blood stained handkerchief. I looked into the night sky and saw a shooting star; it was so bright, so beautiful, so free and I felt myself closing my eyes. I made a wish, a wish that I could die a happy and peaceful death rather than the agonisingly slow one which was happening to me now. The night air was cold, and the empty grounds were quiet, only on this night it was quieter than usual. Opening my eyes I could hear the moans of my husband as he made love to his mistress in the next room, I'm pretty sure anyone could hear it and I sighed in defeat. I was just a wife to Richard, no better than his dogs and all he wanted to do was make me suffer emotionally and physically. Matthew had not really kept in contact with me due to his vows to Lavinia's memory, even with him staying with us now for a few days he didn't want to speak to me. I wasn't sure how much more I could take of this and suddenly I broke into another coughing fit. Tears streamed down my face as I saw the amount of blood that came up into my handkerchief and I knew then my time was almost up and that I had to tell Matthew the truth when we were next alone; of both my condition and love for him.

Alone and defeated, I climbed into bed, wishing on a peaceful sleep upon myself but none came. I dreamt of my coffin and a graveyard and could not have been asleep for more than an hour as Richard and his mistress were still moaning. Fluttering my eyes open, I got out of bed and walked dejectedly towards the bookcase and took out a random book. As I flicked slowly through it, I came across a page that had a poem that Matthew had once read to me and I felt my breath catch in my throat. I trailed my fingers along the page and looked at the short poem and blinked back tears as I read.

(a/n the music should be soft here so if its not you've read to fast/slow my friends hehe)

'Softly love and to love softly,

Dew on the sycamore branch and creaking gate

And my heart hurries afterwards

Through the path of wheat along the briar

To that stone under which I lie,'

A single lone tear dripped down my face as I spoke the poem quietly to myself and I felt another wave of coughing approaching and I knew this was it. I tore out the page from the book and hurled myself out of my room and across the landing. Upon reaching Matthew's room, I threw open the door, blood now all down my nightdress from the large crimson liquid bubbles that were seeping out of my mouth. I took a few unsteady steps forward as Matthew jumped up and cried my name, coming towards me.

'MARY!' was the last thing I heard before collapsing to the floor and coughing up more blood. The coughing would not seise and before I knew it, my time had come, I was choking on my own blood. The world began to dim as I felt the little life I had left my body leave me. I never got to tell Matthew the truth.

Matthew

(a/n no music to this lol)

Sitting in my room, I could hear the moans of Sir Richard and Mary as they made love. Honestly, I would have thought Mary could have been more considerate towards me but then again, it is the early hours of the morning and they do expect me to be asleep. I sat by the crackling fire, reading a book that Mary had suggested to me before Lavinia's death. I tried to block out the Carlisle's moans of pleasure but failed too. About an hour later, I jumped as the door slammed open and I saw Mary, her long dark locks down highlighting her extremely pale skin. Her eyes were wide eyed and crazed as if she wanted to tell me something but could not and then I noticed that her mouth was full of blood and her nightdress was stained with it.

'MARY!' I cried, jumping up towards her but she took a few steps forward and collapsed in front of me, choking and coughing out a last few spurts of blood before going still. I ran to the curtains and pulled the chime for the maid. When she arrived, I opened the door, not letting her see Mary.

'Go and awake Sir Richard and tell him to come immediately!'

'But the master asks not to be disturbed when he is with Miss Ruth!'

'Miss Ruth?' I asked.

'Yes Sir, she is the master's mistress. She is more the wife than Lady Mary.'

'What?' I gasped as it clicked that it could not have been Mary and Sir Richard who I had heard then.

'Sir Richard has not been to Lady Mary's bed once since their wedding night and he hardly speaks to her. The whole house knows that she holds out for you Mr Crawley.'

'Fetch Sir Richard and tell him that his wife is dead.'

'The Mistress is dead!' The maid asked, eyes wide and I opened the door to reveal Mary and a tear slipped down my face as it sunk in that another woman I had loved had been taken from me. The maid almost screamed at the sight but I placed a hand over her mouth, not wanting to worry so many people in the dead of night.

'It seems it is consumption, now wake Sir Richard,' I said sadly, removing my hand and she nodded and ran off. I took a deep breath and walked over to Mary's lifeless body, her skin was still warm and was still as fair. Even in death and covered in blood she managed to look graceful. That's when I noticed that in her hand was a screwed up piece of paper, I took it out and read it, realising it was the poem I had read to her back when I was in my wheelchair. Suddenly the door slammed open to reveal Sir Richard, a dishevelled young woman, Mary's maid Anna and the maid I had called. Anna started crying and ran over to Mary, taking her hand.

'Oh my lady,' she sobbed. I looked at Richard and saw that he was speechless as he looked at his wife.

'It appears to be consumption Carlisle,' I said softly and he nodded and it dawned on me that perhaps he did not know. 'Did you know Sir?'

Sir Richard shook his head, 'Mary definitely kept this from me, how could I not have seen her get so gravely ill? Maid! Clean up this mess and Anna! You clean up Lady Mary. Ruth, let us get back to bed,' he said leaving.

Anna got up and shut the door. 'What a heartless man,' she said and I nodded in agreement, 'she loved you Mr Crawley, since before you first proposed,' Anna said, her tears now under control. She bent down next to Mary and began to sponge her clean. 'I guess there's no shame in telling you now but the only reason Mary married Sir Richard was because before she was engaged to you, Mr Pamuk, the Turkish diplomat that died at Downton, well he entered her room unannounced and he died in her bed. Thankfully he did not take Lady Mary's virtue but Sir Richard blackmailed Mary into this and well that why she couldn't marry you and why she married him. To protect the family honour,' Anna said and I closed my eyes, not willing the tears to escape but they did anyway.

'I am such a fool,' I whispered.

'No Mr Crawley, this is not your fault. Only I knew of Lady Mary's condition and in truth, I should o had her seek medical treatment. The fault is mine but Lady Mary wanted to die Sir, and there is a coffin already laid out for her.' Anna said and not another word passed between anyone that night.

A week later was the funeral and Mary laid in the coffin in a white dress, her hair made up and flowers entwined within it. She looked like the sleeping beauty, only she was forever in sleep and no kiss would wake her. Richard sat at the front next to Ruth and I sat beside Cousin Cora, Violet and Robert whilst Sybil, Branson, Edith and Anna sat behind us.

'No parent should have to bury their child,' Cora sobbed and Robert put an arm around her, holding her close. Violet took hold of my hand as my mother gave a eulogy. I was initially asked but I could not do it, I physically could not will myself to do it. People went off one by one to say their goodbyes, Richard and Ruth being the first two. After patting the coffin box with a gloved hand and saying the words, 'So Long Mary,' Richard left.

'That man is the reason for her death,' Cousin Violet said angrily and I nodded.

'We have paid for the headstone to be named in Mary's maiden name,' Robert added, giving Richard a filthy look as he drove off.

I was the last to say goodbye, I was also the last one in the church aside from the vicar and the sexton. I put my hands on her coffin and looked down onto Mary's flawless face.

'I'm so sorry, forgive me Mary, please forgive me,' I whispered softly, a tear rolling down my cheek. 'I wasn't there for you when I should have been, please, please forgive me. I was blinded when I should have seen your distress, I should have followed Lavinia's request and followed my heart. I love you Mary,' I placed a soft kiss on her ice cold lips and my tear fell on her cheek. I pulled out the piece of paper I had found on her the night she died and read it to her quietly.

'Softly love and to love softly, dew on the sycamore branch and creaking gate, and my heart hurries afterwards, through the path of wheat along the briar, to that stone under which I lie,' I whispered. I then folded the piece of paper and placed it in her hands. 'Goodbye Mary and may you rest in peace. You are in a better place now and no longer have to endure the suffering both Richard and I made you go through. Forgive me,' I placed another small kiss on her lips and left the church. It was as if I could feel Mary next to me, placing a hand on my shoulder, telling me she was better now. I placed my own hand on my shoulder as if she was there. If she had been, my hand would have covered hers and I knew then that Mary would always be with me, she exists now only in my memories, in my heart and in my dreams. She was my other half, the one who made me, well me. The person I had been before I had met Mary was a blurred shadow and I somehow knew that I would recover from Mary's death because she would not want me to live a life of pain. Stepping out of the graveyard and walking towards Downton, I looked towards my future.

Reviews please, I hope you liked it! It was a little sad and depressing to write but I enjoyed it. I am working on Plagues of the Heart still lol, tis just taking a while to finish the chapter xD I will update that one soon I promise :)