The Journal of the Lost.
Hi. I've written a few X-Men: Evolution Fics, and I very happy that many of you have given me such wonderful comments. I'd like to thank all of you for your kindness and for taking the time to read my work. Well, This is actually a sequel of sorts to Don't Step on a Toad. Usually, alot of my fics revolve around Todd AKA Toad. Though, with Todd unfortunately passing on, I decided to get more in dept into what this tragic affect would have on those closest to him, The Brotherhood. I considered Pietro and Lance, but as I read many other fics, I noticed a serious character gap. No one has yet attempted to fully focus on Fred AKA The Blob's thoughts and feelings. No one has attempted to get into his train of thought. True, it is argued that he has a train of thought, but all you have to do is watch the episode "Mutant Crush" to see that he indeed has feelings. So, with all this dribble said, I will get on with the fic. Oh, and I don't own any of the characters.
The Teens the made up The Brotherhood arrived back at the old, wooden, nine room house they all had called home for a year. Upon entering the house, a huge feeling of emptiness washed over them. True, the house had been left as it was, except for the unpleasant aftermath of horrible tragedy. Mystique herself had spent many hours scrubbing the blood off the table, chairs, and floor. It would of gone faster, except that every few minutes, when she was sure no one was around, she would just lean against the table and cry hard. Though, he had heard her. He had been the first to see it. He had been the only one to fully understand Todd.
Fred was sitting on the couch, watching the television, eating a bag of chips out of habit. He really didn't care what was on. Every channel brought back memories of him. He would just stare at the screen, and think. Since very few members of the brotherhood seemed to believe that Fred was capable of deep thought, they figured he had already gotten over the incident and was going back to normal life. Never once did Lance stop and ask if he was ok. Pietro never once stop and noticed the tears falling from his eyes. Mystique never cared to even ask him how this was hurting him. Like for the most part of his, he was left alone with his pain and thoughts. Todd's death was the hardest on him than anyone else. Both Fred and Todd's mutation had ruined their life. Lance, Pietro, and even Mystique couldn't say the same thing. He and Todd, they never felt love, never was admired, never once was accepted. They had always been rejected because they weren't "normal". Not because they were mutants, very few people new they were mutants. They were rejected because they didn't look "normal". Fred wasn't a thin, muscle built jock. Todd hadn't been a muscular, buzz cut, clean guy. Though, Fred had never really minded Todd's appearance or smell. Fred could understand more than anyone that it was the mutation that made him that way. The others were only rejected because of they way they acted.
Fred's hand scrapped the bottom of the chip bag, and he decided that watching television just wasn't helping. He clicked it off, and stood up, and instantly wished he hadn't. His eyes had fallen on Todd's video game system. Fred could remember how happy Todd had been playing the video games. It seemed to be the only thing that made him happy. Fred had tried many times to play along, but he just wasn't smart enough. Though, Todd had never once teased him about it. Just thinking of how Todd had accepted him, caused Fred's heart to beat out another wave of pain. Fred tore his eyes away from the video game system, and walked up the stairs to his room. As he walked down the hallway, he stopped in the doorway of Todd's room. Fred leaned against the frame, and felt another tear slide down his cheek. The room was exactly how it was the morning Todd killed himself. The bed was unmade and clothes were scattered across the room. The dresser next to his bed had no drawers. Probably why all his clothes were always on the floor. The alarm on top of it had stopped. The slime the had hardened on top of it must of also shorted it out. There were posters of Todd's favorite bands, Nirvana, The Offspring, KoRn, Godsmack, Slipknot, and Staind. Fred was about to leave and lock himself in his room, when he noticed something hidden in the drawer by Todd's bed.
Fred walked into Todd's room and picked up what he saw. It was ragged notebook. The large teen stared at the torn and faded book. He opened the cover of it, and read what was written on the page:
Well, it's my first day here at the brotherhood house. Things so far are really cool. At first Mystique had me still living on the street, but now she gave me this really cool house. Things are so much better for me now, I just know my life is gonna get better now.
Just reading the first entry in what appeared to be Todd's secret journal brought a new wave of pain to Fred's heart, and fresh stream of tears. He read on:
Well, things are kinda rough right now. The X-Men beat me, and that creepy room of theirs almost got me killed. Man, no way I'm joining that weirdo bunch. Well, on the bright side, I got a new housemate. He's really cool. His name is Fred Dukes. He is kinda large, but I mean, its his mutation. He can't help being large as much as I can help myself from being smelly and ugly. Well, I was always ugly. Probably why my mom left me. I wonder if Fred ever knew his parents. Well, odds are he wouldn't care. Big tough guy like him, I bet the last thing he would care about is being friends with a slimy little smelly freak.
Fred, who until know was able to hide his sadness, burst into deep heavy sobs of sorrow. They sound of sadness was so loud, it brought Lance to the doorway. Fred hadn't noticed him walk in. He walked to the larger teen quietly, and placed a hand on his shoulder. Fred twitched, surprised and tried to look Lance in the eyes, but couldn't. Lance wasn't the type of guy you turned to for comfort. Lance looked down at the notebook. "Hey big guy, can I see what your reading?" he asked, and took the book from Fred's hand. Lance quickly read the first few entry's, and the depression of his friend's passing washed over him again. He didn't dare sit on the bed, the combined weight of him and Fred would possibly collapse it. Instead, he sat in an old wooden chair. Lance started to read the third entry:
Well, Mystique disappeared again. Fred's been missing since the first day he showed up to school. I heard somewhere that he had kidnapped Jean Grey, which means odds are the X-Men did something to him. I'm kinda worried yo. I mean, it's not often I get friends like me, and well, it would really suck to lose one already.
Lance finished reading the third entry. He looked over at Fred, and really couldn't blame his friend for crying. Lance secretly vowed to not let him read the third passage of Todd's journal. He had already lost one friend, he wasn't going to lose another. Lance thumbed over to the next entry:
Well, Fred is back. I'm glad about that. There's even more good news. We got a new room mate! Yep, a new one already. His name is Lance Alvers. He is really cool. His power rocks. Literally. He can create his own little avalanche. Hmmm probably why his nickname is Avalanche. Beats Toad and Blob. He is so cool, though he kinda doesn't seem like he cares about anyone else but himself. Might as well not even bother trying to be friends with him, a cool good lucking dude like that wouldn't wanna be caught dead with an ugly slimy Toad.
Lance had lost many friends in his life, he had seen many horrible sights in his life, and never once did they affect him. Though, these simple little words, written by a guy who he only knew for less than a year, a guy who he had thought was nothing but a waste of space, a guy who Lance thought he would never miss, hurt him worse than anything. His heart became nothing but a constant ache. Lance quickly got out of the chair and out of the room, slamming the door of his room behind him.
Fred continued to sit on Todd's bed, crying. Pietro had been walking up the stairs when Lance stormed out of the room, and into his own. "Man, what happened now?" he wondered out loud. He walked over to Todd's room, to find Fred sobbing madly. Seeing the unmovable object so moved, brought the pain and sorrow that had been surrounding Pietro's heart to a whole new level of pain and sorrow. That's when he saw the notebook on the floor. It was right across from Fred. Obviously something he had been reading had upset him. Pietro strolled into the room, and picked up the book. Fred looked up at him angrily. "What now Pietro? You just gonna tease me more? Make fun of Todd's personal thoughts?" the large teen growled. Pietro's eyes watered up. Had he really been so heartless to Todd and Fred? Could it have been his mean spirited jokes and lack of friendship that lead Todd to slitting his wrists?
Fred saw Pietro's hurt reaction, and the unshed tears in his eyes, and instantly felt bad. "I-I'm sorry Pietro. It's just..." Fred was unable to continue, a whole new set of tears had worked themselves into his eyes. Pietro sat next to Fred, and patted the larger teen's back. "It's cool man, I understand," murmured Pietro, as he began to read Todd's next entry:
Well, guess what? I got another friend in the house! This guy is also just as cool as Fred and Lance. He is like super fast, and he's also Magneto's son! Man, hanging out with the bosses kid, how cool is that? Pietro Maximoff is so bad ass! He also really cool looking. Chicks are like constantly calling the house for him. True alot of them sound sickened when I answer the phone, and that really hurts. But, I mean, I can't blame em. Expecting a cool, good looking guy, and instead getting a gross, disgusting, toad. Man, I hope me and him get to be friends. I mean, maybe he can help me to stop being a loser and be something really great and special.
Pietro hadn't been hiding his tears since the funeral, and now was no different. Pietro gripped the not book, and began to cry for the thousandth time since they all found him dead in the kitchen. "Man Todd, if you only knew how great and special you were," he sobbed. Pietro and Fred both cried on Todd's bed, for how long they didn't know. They both were able to stop the crying, but felt they should finish the book. It wasn't all bad. Some passages were about disappoint about their defeats to the X-Men. One the actually brought a smile to their face was a passage about how happy he had felt when they defeated Juggernaut. Though all smiles left when they reached an entry concerning a date they'd never forget. It was written the day before they had traveled to Asteroid M:
Well, it's a big day tomorrow. Magneto want's us all to team up against the X-Men and prove ourselves worthy of salvation from the humans. I'm supposed to take on Jean Grey. Man, I've never been so worried. Here is my chance to finally prove that I'm not a loser. I havn't really been pulling my weight around here. I can only imagine how bad the other guys talk about me. Man, I know Fred, Lance, and Pietro will win easily. They got cool powers. For once, I'd like to stand next to them in victory. Please let me win this battle, and their friendship.
This passage proved to be too much for Pietro. He got up and left the room so quickly, he sucked some of Todd's things into the hallways.
Fred sat there alone too, feeling he had to go somewhere too, but didn't know where. So, he got up, picked up the notebook, and started to walk. Out of the room, down the hallway, down the stairs, and out the door. After that, everything became fuzzy. Fred just walked aimlessly. It wasn't until he had arrived where his heart brought him did he notice his surroundings. He had walked all the way to Todd's grave. The new headstone stood there, shiny and new. The ground had yet to settle. It was still wet and runny from the rain. Fred just stood there, staring at the headstone, and holding the notebook. On Todd's grave stood the only group picture they had of Todd. It was of both The Brotherhood and X-Men. That had also been the day they worked together to take out Juggernaut. Fred's heart ached again, filling his whole body with pain. He was about to leave, when he became aware of someone behind him. He quickly turned, and came face to face with Rogue. "Uh, hey! What are you doing here?" said Fred, too hurt to act mad. Rogue looked up at him, and her eyes only showed an equal amount of pain and sadness, red and swollen from countless number of tears. "Well, I figured I'd pay decent respects. I mean, we did after all share a house..." she said, but became too choked to say anything else.
Fred looked down, and understood. She too had become aware of how badly they had all treated Todd. "Um hey, you might wanna read this. It's Todd's journal. He has stuff about you in there. Oh, and if you take it with you, he has some stuff about you and the other guys. If you knew where he was coming from, its easy to see how he hated you guys so much," said Fred, who also became so filled with sadness, he quickly moved away from Rogue, who stood there, clutching the notebook to her chest, tears streaming down her face. Fred just ran, tears streaming down his face. Why hadn't he been there for Todd? Why did he just ignore him?
Fred should know better than anyone else what Todd had been feeling. He had known that Todd was following that Erin girl, but he figured it was to just steal her purse. Though, no one had ever really suspected that Todd had been burnt by love. Todd, who had never been given love. His mother had just left him, for no reason when he was a baby and dumped in a swamp. Todd had been picked up by a young couple, but all they did was hand him to police, who only stuck him in an orphanage. Fred could remember all the times Todd talked about how people used to hit him and treat him badly. Fred also knew things had been far worse. Todd had once confided in him about something one of the older boys at the orphanage did to him. That's why Todd left and lived on the street. As Fred ran, he had only wish he had been there more for Todd. Been the friend that Todd had sought for so badly.
Fred stood once more at the porch of The Brotherhood house. There had been so many things he could of done. So many things he wish he had done for Todd. Fred opened up the door to the house. "Goodbye Todd. I wish I wasn't so late in saying it, but you did have a true friend," he said, looking out at the setting sun, as he closed the door, shutting out the cold wind, but still leaving the emptiness in his heart open.
Well, how did you guys like that? I know I had tried to just focus on Fred. Though I felt it would help to show Todd's feelings, and how they affected everyone. I do have intentions for making a sequel, revolving around the feelings of the X-Men when Rogue brings home Todd's journal. Well, Later.
*Walks out, and turns off the light* Rest in Peace Todd.