Another year goes by
Another transfer and I go
To seek another world that
Holds no faces that I know
She shouldered her pack, walking away from the village. There was no glancing back. It was past time she left. The people of the village were starting to have faces, starting to be friends. She couldn't go through that. Not again.
There was no more of that friendship business with her. Not anymore. Everyone that came close to her died. She couldn't bear it. Not again.
Another sky, another star
Forgive me that I flee
You try to breach the barriers
Between yourselves and me
After days of walking, she came across another village. From the looks she was getting it seemed that the people here never saw strangers. Or she just looked like hell. One of the two.
Well, there was nothing she could do about that. She'd been traveling for ten days, sleeping on the ground, traveling long past sundown and waking at dawn. Horses could become friends too quickly. She couldn't have a friend. Not again.
Now leave me to my silences
And let me live apart
I'll heal your battered bodies
Don't try to touch my heart
"Ma'am! Please, come help! My Arryn's fallen down a hole and I think he broke his leg! Help!" Dorthi yelled.
The healer dropped her knitting and grabbed her bag. "I'm coming. Just a moment."
The boy, Arryn, hadn't broken his leg. It was just a minor sprain of an ankle. Nothing major. It would heal in a matter of days.
"I don't know how to thank you," Dorthi said. "Please, join my family for dinner. I'd be grateful to have you over."
Dorthi was the one that the healer was training to be her replacement. The older woman was quite nimble with herbs and knew everything that was needed for minor injuries and midwifery. The healer could leave now.
The healer looked down at the ground. "Thank you for the offer, but I must pack tonight. You know enough about healing now to get by. It's time for me to be moving on." She was getting too close to the people in this village. Far too close. It was time to move.
I know the things you say of me
You think that I don't hear
You call me Iron Maiden
Well how can you know I fear-
"That healer lady has got to made of steel. Elwood has been flirting with her ever since she got here and she hasn't taken the hint. Hell, he's even outright asked her to share his bed and she'd denied him. What's up with that? If Elwood gave me a second glance, I'd leap at the chance. She's not shaych, that much I do know. Lona's shaych and she knows that the healer isn't."
"She's definitely not normal. I agree with you on that."
Glancing down at the dirt, she sighed and walked back to her little cottage. It would be best for her to go to sleep and pretend she had never heard that conversation.
The day that always comes
That means my visit here must end
The day I cease to heal a wound
And start to heal a friend
She stared down into the glassy eyes of a fevered man. It was Elwood, the man who had sought her hand since the moment he saw her.
A cold was all that ailed him initially. Now, after spending a week of nights on lambing watch in the cold and damp, his cold had grown to pneumonia. He hadn't come to her for the cold. Being a young man, he had simply decided to tough it out. That was a foolish decision, she thought, watching his chest move in frantic, swift breaths. She was doing everything she could for him.
Over the night, his breathing grew more and more labored and his fever soared. She wiped his forehead with a damp sponge, trying to keep his temperature down as best she could. That was all she could do at this point. Without the Healing Gift, she relied entirely on herbs and common sense. She could do nothing more than ease his passing.
Tears welled up in her eyes as she watched the man she had come to love die. This was why she couldn't stay in one place for long. This was why she had to leave.
So please don't offer me your hands
The sooner we must part
I'll heal your battered bodies
Don't try to touch my heart
Staring down at a grave marked only by a wooden stake, she tried to choke back sobs. This was why she should have left months ago. She had gotten too attached to these people.
Now would be the perfect time to leave. She wouldn't be needed now that she had trained a successor. Summer was the time of few illnesses. She didn't need to worry overmuch about them. They could do it.
Again shouldering her pack, she started walking. It was time to visit another village. At least for a little while.
There was a time I didn't vale
Myself in homemade night
When I had friends and lovers
And the days we shared were bright
There was a stream crossing her path. Staring at it with distaste, she stopped. It looked too deep to cross without getting soaking wet and there was no time to dry before dark.
Reluctantly, she set her packs down and started making camp. There was still at least two marks of daylight. What she going to do?
Setting up camp took just a short time, though she lingered as much as she could over it. She sat on a log and stared at the fire. Her camp was so quiet. Just the crackling of the fire and the occasional gust of wind.
It was such a stark contrast to her camps only a few short years ago. People laughing, children crying, dogs barking, cats meowing. She could remember that time well. It stuck in her mind. She couldn't get it out.
But our ship struck and foundered
In a stormy terrible sky
Amid the shattered wreckage
I could only watch them die
They were aboard a ship, traveling to a new land in search of a better life. That was the traditional reason to travel, it seemed. On the ship the healer was on, there were three family groups beside hers. The voyage was months long, long enough for everyone to become close. So close in fact, that by only three months in, they all felt like one big family group.
About a week away from the end of the voyage, a storm blew up. It looked to be just a normal gale. She remembered hearing after the second day of the storm that it wasn't natural. The storm was mage made. And it was there to stay. Someone wanted something on the ship. They would stop at nothing to get it.
It got too close to a rocky shore. The storm had shrouded everything and the ship crashed. Somehow, the healer had gotten thrown up onto a sandy shore. The rest of her shipmates had drowned or been broken on the rocks.
At that point in time, she was not a healer. She was simply a young girl. There were dozens who died as she watched and she could do nothing to save them. Nothing.
So please don't wake the memory
Of the pain it must impart
I'll heal your battered bodies
Don't try, to touch my heart
Another village, another group of people. Every fall, she was at another place, with different people. It hurt too much to heal her friends. She wouldn't do it anymore. She couldn't. Her heart was fragmented enough. It didn't need to broken again.
Now I have worn my armor tight
Ever since that day
No love or friendships worth the pain
Of tearing it away
"Would you care to join me for dinner? And my family. We'd love to have you over. It would be an honor to host you. Please come?" The man was babbling. She stared at him impassively until his rambling trailed off.
"Apologizes, but I am busy in the evening. It is one of the few chances I have to be alone." The healer turned on her heel and went inside her house. She wasn't letting her guard down again. Not going to happen.
As long as you are faceless
I can heal the hurts I see
But as soon you have faces
Your wounds cut into me
She had heard about the Tedrel campaign and offered her services as healer to the Army. They gladly accepted her.
This was the kind of job she preferred. There was no chance to get to know anyone in the crazy chaos that was a war camp. Simply splendid.
Every day, there was a new influx of wounded that had to be taken care of. Every day, there were wounded to check on. It was so busy, no one noticed when a simple, unGifted healer went missing. One day she was there, the next, she was gone. No one noticed and that's the way she liked it. Nobody noticed her and she didn't form any attachments. It was a lonely and unfulfilling life, but it was the life she wanted. At least, that's what she believed.
So let me wall you out
And let no breaching start
I'll heal your battered bodies
Just never touch my heart
I don't own anything. The lyrics are from the song Medic by Mercedes Lackey and sung by Heather Alexander (Alexander James).