Albus' Reasons for Why You Shouldn't Annoy Your Wizard Parents with Muggle things

i believe this started during lunch a couple days ago, some annoying kid walked up and said "'sup Brah" and an idea popped into my head and later that day i imagined quite a hilarious sight but you find out what that was in the next chapter. anyway i wrote it to be simply humorous. hope you enjoy it!

disclaimer: the characters belong to Jk Rowling

Albus POV

It started with James, James and his minions, (all the male cousins, naturally Little Brother Al isn't included). "Later, Brah." James said to Louis and Freddie as we walked to our "Super Wicked" flying mustang, courtesy of Gran Dad. "See ya Dude!" "Later!" the Weasley boys replied running off to find their fathers. "May I ask why you just referred to your cousins as female underwear?" Dad asked as he unlocked the door, James plopped in the front seat, Lily and I were left to the back with the owls. Lily and I giggled, James rolled his eyes, "You wouldn't understand Dad, because your too lame." The numbskull replied with a smirk. Dad muttered the entire way home, then talked to Mum for about five minutes before retiring to his study for the night in a dark mood. Just so you all know, if you live with my father (as if you need reminding of who that is) you can feel his moods, they just ooze all over the house, it's not pleasant to say the least.

James was fiddling with his muggle pocket-owl, you know that strange contraption you all call a cellophane or something like that. Where he got one I don't know, maybe the convenience store down the road. It reminded Lily of what James had said earlier to Dad. "Mummy, James called Daddy lame!" she said, James made a face and mimicked her, "Mummy, dames cawed Daddy wame!" I rolled my eyes and helped Kreature with the dishes. "Shut Up!" "Shu' Up!" "MUUUUM!" "MUUUUUUUM!"

"JAMES SIRIUS POTTER SHUT YOUR MOUTH RIGHT THIS INSTANT!" Mum bellowed from the stove. I chuckled with Kreature at the immediate silence that followed. "Mum, he also called Freddie and Louis Bras." Lily said innocently, James glared at her with a fury that would have killed her on the spot if looks could kill. Mum laughed aloud at that then turned to face the table, "Now why on earth would anyone want to be called that, in public?" she asked fighting the laughing back. "It's a muggle thing, Mum, the American Wizards do it all the time!" James said blushing furiously. "Oh and do we follow the American Wizards James?" she asked sternly her wooden spoon poised in a smacking position. "N-no, mum…." He whispered. "What was that James?"

"No, Mum, We don't." he replied loudly, glaring at Lily, I snickered and turned back to the sink. "Kreature would like to thank young Master Potter." The old house elf said handing me a plate he was too short to put away, "No problem Kreature, Dad wants us to learn how to take care of ourselves, You know?" the house elf nodded, "Master Harry is a generous man. He has raised you well." I smiled at the aged elf, he could be kinda rude I guess but to be honest, I love the little elf.

Two Months Later :

Uncle Ron and Dad had been discussing things in secret all summer, and now we were at the platform waiting for Uncle Ron and his family. Dad saw the tall red haired man strolling towards us with a shorter brunette woman and two auburn haired children following closely behind. "'Sup Brah?" he yelled to Uncle Ron, who smiled and replied "'Sup HP!" and they did the strangest hug I have ever seen, it involved a handshake. Hugo, James, Freddie (who had joined us at this point) and Louis (who had also joined us) gaped their mouths open in shock; James' hazel eyes were wide with anger. "No! Dad! Dad! What are you doing? Dad stop!" he yelled trying to separate them. It didn't work, they bantered in American slang for about ten more minutes. James seethed in anger glaring at Dad. "What's wrong James? I thought you said I was lame, I wanted to "get with the times, small fry" is it so bad for your Dad to be cool?" Dad asked with a glimmer in his eyes and small satisfied smirk on his face. James huffed and rolled his eyes, "Come let's go find a seat." He said grabbing Hugo and Freddie's shoulders Louis followed closely behind. Rosie grabbed my arm and steered me toward the train, "What was that about?" she asked being the Nosy Rosie she was. "James did that last summer at the end of term to his mates and then proceeded to call Dad lame." I replied throwing her and my trunk up on to the racks.

"Is James mental, Uncle Harry is the epitome of Cool, Popular, Tight as the Americans would say." She rambled on, "I get it Rose! Dad's cool, James is just a Dunderhead." I said shutting her up for about five seconds. "When isn't James a Dunderhead?" "Did I say he was behaving like one?" "No" "that's right I said he was one." Rose rolled her bright blue eyes and opened the only book she hadn't read yet for our year. And we set off for another year at Hogwarts.