Break me, take me
Grell faced the wooden doors and knocked. After a few seconds, the door opened and he stepped inside. He gazed, in slight wonder, at how fine the interior of the mansion really was. A low voice shook him from his thoughts "Welcome, Grell". Grell turned to face Sebastian; his stomach tightened "Sebby-chan" he replied, his voice just a bit too unsteady for his liking. Wordlessly, Sebastian turned, walking down a small hallway that grell hadn't noticed since it had been hidden by the open door; He followed Sebastian down the dimly lit hallway. As he walked, Grell couldn't help but let his mind wander back to all those nights when he had fantasized about all the things he wanted to do to Sebastian, and all the things he wanted Sebastian to do to him. "Whoa" he thought to himself, "he only invited me to dinner. He doesn't feel that way. He doesn't want that". Little did grell know that the demon butler felt a certain attraction towards the reaper and that, in fact, he just may want exactly that.
As they continued down the hall and began a decent on a spiral staircase, Sebastian thought back to hours ago, in the drawing room, when his young master first told him of Grell's arrival, "Grell's coming tonight. Entertain him." As Sebastian led the reaper to his room, he wondered if what he knew would happen would fall under the category of entertaining or not. They finally reached a wooden door with a metal lock in place; Sebastian drew out a key from his pocket and unlocked the door. As the door swung inward, revealing yet another hallway, Sebastian grabbed grell by the wrist and pulled him behind the door, pushing it shut behind them. Grell's breath hitched; Sebastian, his face a mere inches from his own, had a small smirk playing about his lips while the lights in his eyes, reflected from the candles on the wall, danced about enchantingly. They stood there for what felt like hours to both of them when Sebastian suddenly straightened up and began walking down the corridor to yet another door, this one also made of wood but with no lock. Sebastian lightly pushed the door open, revealing what Grell realized to be, Sebastian's bedroom. As the door was opened for him, Grell was rooted to the floor, made speechless by the sight before him. He had expected a dungeon-like room but the sight that lay before his eyes was almost the exact opposite-warm, rich colors decorated the walls while a plain white blanket covered Sebastian's bed. An involuntary shiver ran down Grell's spine as fantasies flooded his mind, making his pants much tighter. Wordlessly Sebastian produced a tea set-the kettle steaming with hot tea- and some cake. They ate on the couch on the opposite side of the room in silence except for the occasional cough or the sound of china hitting china as a teacup was put back down. Suddenly, Sebastian asked "So Grell, as you are a phantomhive guest it is my duty to ask what you would like to do." Grell, not wanting to give his desires away just yet replied "I don't know Sebby, whatever you would like." Immediately he regretted his words. Sebastian-also not wanting to give away his feelings for the reaper-promptly kicked him out-quite literally. It pained the demon to do so but he could not be made a fool of. Should Grell not feel the same way, Sebastian would never forgive himself. So instead he ushered the butler to the door and, as Grell was walking out, Sebastian kicked him, so that he fell out of the manor. Getting up and dusting himself off, Grell began to walk away, staring strait ahead but seeing nothing, as if in a trance as grief washed over him.
As grell walked home, tears filled his eyes. "Why didn't I tell him?" he thought to himself. He got home, went to his room, stripped, grabbed a small box and went to the bathroom. Now, despite his seemingly flamboyant personality, grell was a very emotionally troubled man. In his eyes, the one man he truly loved had just kicked him to the curb forever. Opening the box, grell took out the one thing that had stayed with him all these years, his knife. He looked down at his arms, sides and legs, all covered in scars. He picked up the knife, pressed the tip against his thigh and dragged upwards, blood instantly pooling at the wound, pain racing through his nerves, adrenaline rushing in his body and the blood started to run. Over and over Grell slashed himself, each time more blood dripping down his body, making the knife slide in his hand, slick with blood. Soon his thighs, wrists and ribs were spilling blood. Again and again the knife rose, pierced and dragged along Grell's flesh. Left, right, up, and down he pulled, the feeling of the knife dragging across his perfect skin, cleaving it in two, did little to ease his numbness. Finally grell couldn't take it any longer. He pressed his knife against his neck and pressed down. The blade sank into his soft skin, into his vein, and the blood began to fall, flowing steadily down his body and even onto the floor. Just then he heard a bang on the bathroom door. Fear and a glimmer of hope ran through him, grell managed to choke out the words "w-w-who is it?" A low voice, almost a whisper, answered "merely one hell of a butler".
Grell's face drained of what little color there was left in it. He did NOT want Sebastian seeing him like this. But what could he do? He had no escape. "Don't come in Sebby," he cried out, but it was too late. The butler managed to break the lock on the bathroom door and open it. Both men stood there, rooted to the spot, one white and shocked, one frozen and terrified. Sebastian only managed to choke out one word "G-g-g-grell?"