Thank you very much for reading my last story. Please believe I appreciate you taking your time to read something I wrote, I am grateful.

This is a Rollaro story because I love Rollaro .

I'm not following the show's timeline but I will reference to events that happened in the show. Not all details will be completely accurate, some are embellished for dramatics and also because I simply may not know. Lol

Warning in advance, strong language and smut. I do not own these characters and sadly, I have to admit I do not own Danny either :'(

Amanda sat in an uncomfortable chair, fidgeting with her hands, unsure of what to do or say. Could he hear her? She could not take her eyes off Nick; he lay there in bed with a straight expression. He looks like he's sleeping she told herself. Nick always slept so soundly, she remembered. Sitting there now looking at him the memories came rushing back…

She remembered how safe he made her feel, she missed it. She never knew what safe felt like until the first time he hugged her. Once she was in his arms the whole world disappeared and all she could feel was him, she closed her eyes knowing that he wouldn't let anything happen to her. When he broke the embrace she was speechless, how was it possible to feel such strong emotions in a three second hug? She smiled as she remembered finding little reasons to hug him afterwards, her mind and body yearned for the feeling he gave her. The hugs were always professional and appropriate even though a part of her felt that he looked for reasons to hug her, too. Until that one night… in the wee hours of the morning when she allowed him to walk her home after a night of drinks. Their hug turned into something more. They engaged in rough, drunken and awkward sex. Both of them fumbled clumsily amongst each other's bodies, they both clearly had been too drunk to have sex but their bodies persuaded them otherwise.

After that night the following days at work were awkward because they both beamed at each other like school kids, it eventually led to them spending all their hours outside of work together. She had even started going to the same gym as him, which was a major change for her because she always preferred to run outdoors. What went wrong she thought to herself? Eventually the calls and texts gradually slowed until they faded away. Then Nick got himself into some trouble and earned a demotion. As punishment, he was assigned to the 116th traffic unit for an indeterminable time. After that she hadn't heard from him. He seemed to drop all contact with everyone from SVU, except Liv. Could Liv be the reason their relationship ended without so much as a simple explanation. She would have settled for a bullshit excuse instead of him just ignoring her, like those months together meant nothing to him. She knew what they had had meant something to him. But what changed?

Now here she was, four months later, unsure of what would happen to him. Unsure if he was okay. She knew he was heavily medicated after he made it out of surgery. Amanda began to cry because he could have died but she also thanked God because Nick was alive.

It was Tucker who came to the squad room and broke the news. He walked in smugly and loudly announced, "Officer Amaro was shot earlier this afternoon, I thought you all would want to know."

"What!? Nick? Where is he? Is he okay?" Olivia sputtered out her words, grabbing her coat and heading for the elevators.

"Yes, Nicholas Amaro, he was shot earlier this afternoon during a routine traffic stop. As he approached a stopped vehicle, the passenger, we believe, opened fire on the officer hitting him six times. Amaro didn't see it coming. He's still in surgery at Mercy. I don't know if he's dead or not."

"You son of a bitch. This is your fault." Olivia shouted.

"His blood is on your hands!" Amanda spat with tears in her eyes.

Fin guided Amanda towards the elevators and turned back to Tucker, "You don't have to be so cold about it. Nick is family here."

Once Amanda arrived at the hospital with Fin and Liv they rushed up to his floor, looking for someone who could tell them Nick was alive and stable. Amanda hung back near the waiting area, not ready to be told Nick was dead.

Liv was frantic, she approached the nurse's station and demanded answers, "I need information on the condition of Detective Nicholas Amaro, he was brought here a few hours ago with gunshot wounds."

"I'm sorry," the nurse replied nicely despite Liv's rudeness. "But I cannot-"

"He's my partner! You tell me how he is now!" Liv's voice was hoarse from holding down the lump in her throat that kept her tears from spilling out.

"Look Miss, we really need to know how he is." Fin let her know nicely.

"Yes, I understand." The nurse clicked at the keyboard in front of her. "Nicholas Amaro was brought in via bus at 2:38pm with six gunshot wounds to the leg, torso, chest, shoulder and arm. Looks like he went straight into surgery." The nurse looked up at Liv. "I'm sorry but that's all the information I have right now. He's been assigned a room but I do not know when he will be out of surgery. You're more than welcome to wait here and I can notify you the moment he is out of surgery."

"Yes, thank you." Fin and Liv said in unison.

Amanda had been listening from where she stood, Fin and Liv approached her. All three looked at each other with worried eyes. Liv decided to call Nick's mom, Maria and Cynthia. Even though Maria was in California, she figured she would want to know. Cynthia and Mrs. Amaro came down to the hospital right after Liv hung up with them. The five of them sat there for what felt like an eternity. Cynthia and Cesaria prayed for Nick and asked the detectives to pray with them.

"My boy is strong, God will pull him out of this. There is no way He could take my sweet boy from me and his children." Cesaria was confident in her faith, there was no doubt about it.

Two hours later the nurse approached them, "Excuse me, Detective Amaro is out of surgery. The doctor is on his way up and he will let you know more."

A few minutes later the doctor came into the waiting room.

"Family of Nicholas Amaro?"

Nick's friends and family jumped to their feet and met the doctor at the door.

"Yes, I'm his mother." Cesaria informed the doctor.

"Mrs. Amaro, I'm Dr. Hughs. Your son is out of surgery. I was able to remove three bullets that entered his lower torso, right thigh and upper left arm, some fragments remain. The shot to the right shoulder was a through and through. He was also hit in the chest and abdomen, luckily he was wearing a vest under his uniform. He did lose a lot of blood on the way to the ER and we had a hell of a time stopping the bleeding. However, we did have give him two transfusions. He's not awake yet, we're keeping him sedated for a few more hours as he is in a great deal of pain. Mrs. Amaro, you're son is a very lucky man."

"Thank you Dr. God bless you."

"Thank you, do you have any questions?"

"When can we see him" Liv asked.

"Once the nurses get him settled into his room, he may have a few visitors."

"Take care. The nurses will see to you if you need anything if you have any questions they will let me know.

Amanda watched the doctor walk away, she stood there not knowing what to do. She desperately wanted to run to run to Nick's room but she feared her coworkers would see the emotions she carried for him. She decided to hang back and let Liv and his mom go first.

"Hey, are you ok?" Fin gave her a concerned look.

"Yes, just a little shook up, I guess."

Fin nodded, "You been awfully quiet. I'm here if you need me."

Amanda smiled, "Thanks, but right now the most important thing is being here for Nick. We're gonna have to pull shifts helping him out once he gets home."

"Let's see if he even lets us help him. The man can be a bull sometimes."

Fin and Amanda decided they would go in to see Nick together. Amanda sat and stared at him while Fin stood over Nick and said something to him in a hushed tone. A nurse came in and took his vitals, scribbled notes on a chart, and tapped on a few keys to the computer in the room. After the nurse walked out Fin turned to Amanda and let her know that he was going to head back to the station and see what he could find out about Nick's shooting.

Amanda stayed in the room with him; she scooted her chair closer to the bedside and took Nick's hand into hers. He had strong hands but for being a man, he had unbelievably soft hands and he always kept his nails trimmed. She smiled as the remembered when she found out he used lotion every time after he showered. I guess that's what happens when men are raised by their mothers, she thought.

"Excuse me?"

Amanda turned around to see the nurse in the doorway, "Yes?"

"Are you related to Detective Amaro? I need some papers signed and no one responded to his name in the waiting area."

"He's my partner, could I sign for them?"

"Sorry, it has to be his wife or next of kin."

"His wife, ex-wife, is in California. I could get his mother for you."

"Great. Have her go to the nurse's station." The nurse walked off and Amanda texted Liv because she didn't have Cesaris's number.

Another nurse walked back into his room carrying supplies, "Hi, sorry to interrupt your visit but I'm going to change his IV bag and give him another shot of pain meds." She began tearing open packages and closing off Nick's IV. "The dosage on the pain meds is going to be lighter; we want him to wake up. He will be groggy for a while but that's because of the anesthesia and pain medicine mixture. I will be back to check on him in about another 45 minutes."

Amanda continued to sit at his bedside and stare at him. She realized she had been squeezing his hand tight so she let go but brought his fingers to her lips, she gently kissed them. Nick looked so small lying there in the hospital bed, he had a good muscle build, but here he looked thin and weak. Amanda could see the bandages on his shoulder and arm. He was going to need a lot of help through his recovery.

She had been deeply lost in her thoughts that she didn't feel his eyes staring at her. It wasn't until she looked up at his face that their eyes met and they both held their gaze. He was the first to speak.

"Hey" he whispered.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Heavy."

"Heavy?" She scrunched up her face at him.

"My body feels heavy. I'm glad to see you." he gave her a weak smile.

"I've-"

Olivia, Cesaria, and Cynthia walked into the room interrupting Amanda. His mother rushed over to him and profusely kissed his entire face. Cynthia and Liv were on either side of his bed asking him many questions. Nick answered them as best as he could but his kept returning to Amanda's.

Chapter 2 is coming soon. Thank you all for reading my story. If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions be sure to let me know.