Kaoru stared blankly out of her window.
Nothing seemed to make sense anymore!
She replayed images in her head.
She saw Kenshin's coffin being lowered to the ground.
It made her cry.
She couldn't believe it. It can't be. It just can't be true.
She tried to shrug the thought away.
But they just would go away.
Sob.
She looked down at the table.
A white envelope caught her eye.
"Kenshin gave me this before he left. He asked me to give it to you if this would ever happen" she remembered Sano say.
She dried off her tears and opened it.
She read:
"Dearest Kaoru,
I know that by the time you are reading this, a thousand words on this piece of paper would never heal the pain I've caused. For all you know, hurting you is the last thing that would ever cross my mind.
I now sit in the dark regretting every single second I was away from you and our son. I haven't been there for both of you as I should have and for that I am very sorry.
I've been so selfish with words that I haven't told you how much I love you, miss you, and now it's too late for me to make up for all those lost moments.
Coming to think of
it! There are million things that I haven't told you. Like the way
I love the way your head always find the right spot on my shoulder.
The way you look at me and all of a sudden everything is right in the
world. How cute you are when you eat. The way it takes you hours to
get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while. The way you
look good no matter what you wear. The way you fish for compliments
even though we both know that you are the most beautiful thing on
this earth. How cute you are when you argue. The way your hand always
finds mine. The way you smile. The way you say
"lets not
fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later...
The
way you smile when I do something nice for you. The way you look when
I say
"I love you". The way you apologize over
something silly. The way you hit me
and expect it to hurt. Then
the way you apologize when it does hurt. (Even though I don't
admit it)! The way you say "I miss you". The way I miss
you. The way your tears make me want to change the world so that it
doesn't hurt you anymore... Yet regardless if I love you, hate you,
or know that I would die without you... it matters not. Because, once
in my life, whatever you were to the world you become everything to
me. When I look you in the eyes, traveling to the depths of your
souls and I say a million things without trace of a sound, I know
that my own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings
of your very heart. I love you for a million reasons, No paper would
do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A
feeling. Only felt.
Kaoru, tell my son that I love him even though I wasn't there for him. Tell him how much I wish I could hold him in my arms and never let go. Remind him of me and guide him.
In the end, all I ask of you is to remember me not as a battousai but as your husband and best friend.
All my love,
Kenshin "