Convincing Edward

Takes place after Bella's disastrous birthday party. A New Moon AU.

Alice sat on the stairs with Jasper, clasping his hand. Her thoughts were as bleak as his.

"He is so hopeless, Alice," Jasper stated with quiet desperation, looking into her eyes. "There's no tellin' what he might do and it's my fault."

She squeezed his hand. "I know." Without warning, as usual, a vision whisked her to an alternate time. Although there was a large, disturbing blankness to part of it, Alice saw a ray of hope in it over all. When it ended, she stood and pulled Jasper up with her.

He attempted to resist. "I'm fine right here, darlin'."

Alice shook her head at him and insisted that he come with her. "You are part of this family too. Everyone makes mistakes… I made one when I didn't see this coming."

"You can't see it all, darlin'. No one can and no one expects it." He stopped resisting her, but when they entered the large room where the others sat or stood, he carefully avoided everyone's eyes.

Carlisle glanced their way and noted something in Alice's manner that caused him to feel marginally more positive. "You've seen something."

"Mm-hmm. Actually a couple of things…"

Esme came over and put her arm around Jasper's waist. He didn't reply, but did put his arm around her and kiss the top of her head. "Will they fix this?" Esme asked.

"Only Edward can decide that," Alice answered. "But it does offer alternate visions of the future."

"He'll want to leave." Emmett predicted from where he sat on a sofa with his arm around Rosalie. "He loves her, but he'll leave her because he thinks we're too dangerous."

Rosalie stared at him incredulously. "Well, I'm no danger to her. I don't even like her. And I'm not leaving," She stated flatly, crossing her arms on her chest.

Edward stepped into the room. "Yes, you are, Rose. We all are."

His family turned and Carlisle appraised him sadly. The boy who returned from taking Bella home was entirely different from the one who had entered the house earlier in the evening, holding hands with her. Edward, please think about this, son. This is not the time to make extreme decisions.

Edward glanced at Carlisle and shook his head slightly. He felt torn in a way that he had never previously experienced.

He loved Bella with all his heart and the soul he didn't believe he had. There was no doubt whatsoever that she was his mate and the only chance for love that he would ever have. He wanted her… not just for her human lifetime, but forever. To do that, he would have to change her into a vampire. The thought of his own transformation made him shudder and feel disgusted with himself. What kind of love would wish that on the one they loved? She had expressed a desire for him to do just that, but Edward did not feel that she could possibly understand the enormity of what she was asking.

Tonight he had seen clearly in what turned out to be a relatively minor incident – despite Bella's injuries – just how dangerous it was for her, as a human, to be around him. And such a clumsy human, at that! He almost smiled at the thought of her, before remembering that it would take so little to destroy her forever. The drive to her house had been ample time for him to review how much worse the evening could have ended… not to mention other possibilities in the future. He made the decision then that he would have to leave her in order to save her. As far as he could see, it was the most loving thing he could do.

The goodnight kiss she had requested had felt more like goodbye… for both of them. His drive home had been weighed down by the despair in the knowledge he had seen in her eyes and he was haunted by it. If he could have wept, he would have... all the way home.

By the time he arrived, he had his plans made. He announced them in response to Rose's statement, overheard as he entered the house.

Rose turned to her husband and whispered, "How did you know?"

He gave her a rueful grin. "I don't have to be a mind reader to understand Edward. He is all emotion, all the time. He wasn't just upset by her accident; he was horrified."

Before Edward progressed further in outlining his plans for his family and for Bella, Alice stepped toward him. "There are things you might want to add to your equation before finalizing it, Edward. You need to see what I saw just a few minutes ago."

The first vision she showed him was of him and Bella, continuing as they had, happily progressing to an engagement and wedding. Soon after the wedding Bella became a vampire and they had eternity together.

Edward shook his head. "I can't do that to her."

"It's what she wants, Edward, and as time goes by, she'll only want it more," Alice insisted.

"She doesn't know… She couldn't want that. Even if she thinks so, she can't have any notion what it would be like."

Alice was positive. "She will by the time she is ready for it."

"No. And it's not like you even remember yours. I won't do that to her." Edward was equally insistent.

"She is your only chance for love, Edward! Forever!" Alice put all the emphasis she had in her into making him see how important his decision was.

His quiet response and the hell she saw in his eyes chilled her. "Don't you think I know that? I've known it almost from the beginning. She is my mate. We only get one and I've waited almost a century for her. But she's human. Am I to show my love by destroying her… whether by accident or by changing her? Alice, I have to leave her."

Esme asked, "Edward, does Bella have no say in these plans you've made for her?"

He looked over at her, where she still stood with Jasper. His eyes were cool as they noted his brother looking at him apologetically.

Edward, please reconsider. Alice and I can leave. You need her…

"No," Edward shook his head. He explained to the others, "Jasper just offered to leave with Alice."

Alice stared at Jasper in exasperation. Could these men think of nothing but running out on the situation? Really! In reply, Jasper shrugged slightly.

Edward continued, "Jasper is not the only vampire who lives here. Nor am I the only one of us with whom Bella is friendly. We need to eradicate ourselves from her life. It needs to be a clean break… as if we had never been there." He looked at Jasper again and the air between them cleared. "You can't help acting like a vampire, Jazz. That's what you are."

"Tryin' to be better than that," Jasper murmured.

"I know," Edward replied and the rest of the family added affirmative nods or murmurs, healing Jasper.

That brought Alice to her other vision. "But what are you leaving her to, Edward? We can abandon her… but to what? It won't ever be as though she never met us. She knows about our world, Edward. Do you really think a 'normal human life' is even possible for her now? She will always be drawn to what is outside of normal. She would have anyway. Don't you remember that she was never frightened by you? Not even a little? Bella is not a 'normal human' herself. If we leave, she will become involved with someone else."

"That's what I want for her." Edward tried to sound certain.

"Is it, Edward?" Alice asked and Edward could not meet her eyes. "I've seen more. Actually, I've not seen more. I can see Bella and know that she is almost happy… but never as happy as she was or would be with you. What I can't see is the person who makes her happy. He is completely blocked. I can't see him or anything about him. He isn't anything close to being a normal human, Edward. That means he brings risks to the table, too."

"There isn't anything like that around here," Edward said uncertainly. "We'd know about it."

"Maybe. Maybe not. But he will love Bella, too, Edward... if we leave her. What about other vampires? They come through occasionally. You know what a danger magnet Bella is. What about the Volturi, Edward? Don't you think it's possible that they'll find out about her and come to destroy her?"

Edward shook his head in denial, but Alice continued, seeking the future as she spoke. "There are things out there even more dangerous to Bella than we are, Edward. We were caught off guard tonight, but we rarely are. This won't happen again. I have seen nothing to indicate that we will pose any further risks to her... In fact, we will keep her safe when Victoria comes seeking revenge. Yes, I just saw her… so… Grab your happiness with both hands, Edward; don't throw it away and then destroy yourself." Edward started at her knowledge and Alice impudently winked at Emmett before returning her attention to Edward. "Emmett isn't the only one who knows you well enough to read you."

Edward looked around the room. "Carlisle…?"

"It is your life, son… and your mate. That makes it your decision," Carlisle insisted.

Esme came over and put her arms around Edward. Close your eyes, Edward. He followed her instructions. We have all felt your loneliness, sweetheart, and rejoiced that you found your mate in such a lovely girl as Bella. Think… Feel… Do you really want to leave her when you can have her at your side forever? Trust her, Edward. Carlisle is right in saying that it is your decision, but take everything into account… including her love for you. She may not know what the change would entail, but she knows she wants eternity with you. Acknowledge that your mate is an intelligent girl, sweetheart. She has a right to a say in her future… and I think you'll find that she wants it to be with you. So… What do you want?

Edward opened his eyes and looked down at Esme in wonder. "I want her… but…"

"Bro…" his eyes met Emmett's. "Alice is right. There are dangers everywhere. She could run into a bear. I did. I wouldn't be surprised, either, seeing as how it's Bella…"

Suddenly Edward saw everything in perspective. He gave a shaky laugh and headed for the door. He paused and looked back. "I have some reassuring to do. Don't expect me back tonight."