Hello everyone, it's been a long time since I've posted anything. I put "My Imaginary Friend" on hold while I worked on my entry for the One-Shot Soundtrack Contest. This is the one-shot I entered in the contest, and I had to wait until the contest was finished to post it here. It didn't win – in fact, out of 101 reviews, only 5 were for mine and one of them was from my beloved pre-reader, FangMom. *Sticks bottom lip out and pouts*
But, and more importantly, I had a blast writing the story (and re-writing, and re-writing, and re-writing… rinse, repeat…). It gave me a chance to try something new (for me, at least). The Bella and Edward of "Poster Girl" are COMPLETELY different from the sweet kids we've come to know and love in MIF. These two have a much harder edge than our little Bella and her guardian vampire. This story is strongly rated M for a reason.
The assigned song was "Poster Girl" by the Backstreet Boys from their 2005 album, Never Gone. Listen to it on YouTube here: http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=XTJz0QXr4jI&feature=youtube_gdata_player
(You know from the majority of the chapter songs I've used for MIF that I'm a fan of alternative rather than pop, but I came to love this song – I believe I actually did sing it in my sleep – after listening to it on an endless loop while writing my one-shot.) The contest rules said that at least one of the song lyrics had to be included as part of the story. Here are the lyrics to the song, see if you can spot the ones I used (okay, I've tried repeatedly to fix the formatting to divide the verses, but the result is total FAIL, sorry):
Jodie was a long way from home
She could make alone look pretty
Her attitude made her part of the landscape
Riding her bike through Alphabet City
She likes to party in the backseat
Under the bridge on the Brooklyn side
Smoking cigarettes in the afterglow
Taking bets that the sun won't rise
She said, "What good is tomorrow without a guarantee?"
She can lick her lips and smile
And make you wanna believe
That the consequences of your actions really are just a game
That your life is just a chain reaction taking you day by day
She says nothing's forever in this crazy world
Still I'm falling in love with the right now poster girl
Right now right now
Jodie liked to shoplift in stores
Ride alongside the rich and famous
Get in elevators, press 'emergency stop'
And make love on the floor 'til the camera made us
And no woman in the world ever made me feel like my heart's on fire
Where she'd walk I'd follow (follow)
When she left I cried
What good is tomorrow without a guarantee?
I was wrapped around her finger
and I began to believe
That the consequences of your actions really are just a game
That your life is just a chain reaction taking you day by day
She says nothing's forever in this crazy world
Still I'm falling in love with the right now poster girl
That the consequences of your actions really are just a game
That your life is just a chain reaction taking you day by day
She says nothing's forever in this crazy world (crazy world)
Still I'm falling in love with the right now poster girl
Tell me what you want from me
I've got everything you need
It's getting hard for me to breathe
Let me be your guarantee
That the consequences of your actions really are just a game
That your life is just a chain reaction taking you day by day
She says nothing's forever in this crazy world
Still I'm falling in love with the right now poster girl
That the consequences (poster girl) of your actions really are just a game
That your life is just a chain reaction taking you day by day
She says nothing's forever in this crazy world (crazy world)
Still I'm falling in love with the right now poster girl
Right now, right now
Right now, ohhh ohh
Poster girl
Poster girl, yeah
Come on, come on, yeah
Poster Girl
BPOV
April 7, 2010
"Oh shit, Bella – run!" Maria screamed as she, Nettie and Luci scattered in opposite directions.
I took off like a shot from outside the Macy's, discarding the oversized bag with the designer dress and shoes that I had stuffed inside, but the mall rent-a-cop was gaining on me. He definitely wasn't Paul Blart, Mall Cop, rolling after me in hot pursuit at top speed on a Segway. I cut through the Food Court, somehow managing not to maim myself on any of the tables or chairs. I was eyeballing the entrance to the women's restroom to make my getaway, but the entire Aventura Mall Security force was already waiting there for me. The other girls were nowhere to be seen.
Shit! How did I ever let myself get into this mess? I thought as Mall Security hauled me off to lock me up in the detaining room of their facility, 350 miles from home. So much for a fun Spring Break in Miami.
Fuck. My. Life.
+-x-+-x-+-x-+-x-+
Life in Phoenix had been wonderful. I lived with my mom, Renee, although it would be easier for people to consider me the mother and her the child, since we would have gone without food and electricity if I hadn't done the shopping and made sure the bills were paid. I made straight A's in advanced placement classes in school, had great friends, and a pretty good outlook on life. I was the most responsible sixteen-year-old anyone ever met.
All that changed when my cougar mom got remarried and we moved to Jacksonville, Florida. Her new boy-toy husband, Phil, had signed with the Jacksonville Suns, the local minor-league baseball team.
I started my junior year at First Coast High School in Jacksonville with hope in my heart for what the future might bring, but it became readily apparent that the upper echelon of the student body had no intention of accepting me. I ate alone, studied alone, went to my classes alone, and had resigned myself to spending the next two years alone. The pattern continued for several weeks until three girls approached me before school one morning. They were the kind of girls that I had never fit in with before, the ones more interested in getting drunk and/or high and getting laid than getting an education, but they welcomed me into their group with open arms.
Before long, Maria, Annette (everyone called her Nettie), Ana Lucia (Luci) and I were thick as thieves. Hell, we were thieves. We shoplifted – "applied the five-finger discount" as Maria liked to call it – all the time at the mall. Before I met them, I had been an upstanding, law abiding daughter of a police chief. Truth be told, I only ever saw my dad for two weeks during the summers when we met at my grandmother's house in California. The rest of the year he was the Chief of Police of Forks, Washington, the rainiest, dreariest town on the planet. Now I had become a drinking, smoking, stealing hood-rat, but my girls accepted me and had my back. I was tired of always being a good girl, good student, and good citizen. Until Renee married Phil, I'd been the only adult in my house since I was old enough to read. Fuck responsibility. It was my turn to be young and impulsive. It was time to have fun and live for today, for right now.
Mom was never home enough to notice that my grades had slipped, my wardrobe was more revealing and much more expensive than she and Phil could afford, and my friends were not like the girls I had hung around with in the past. I took advantage of the situation as much as possible. Honestly, I was grateful to not be taking care of her for once. Phil did a pretty good job of seeing that we had food to eat and the bills got paid, so I could focus on me for a change.
Nettie had arranged for the four of us to spend Spring Break in Miami at her aunt and uncle's house. She said they didn't live too far from the beach and that her uncle always had good weed. She also said he could fix us up with fake IDs to get into the hottest Miami clubs. It sounded like a plan to me.
I told Renee that Maria was driving us down to Miami on Saturday and we would be staying the entire week with Nettie's relatives. Renee barely raised her head from her mug of coffee to respond, "That sounds wonderful honey… you'll have a great time with your friends. Make sure you call me when you get there." Like she would remember that I had even gone once I was out the door. My scatterbrained mother couldn't remember what she ate for breakfast five minutes earlier.
Maria pulled up with Nettie and Luci, and honked the horn of her beat up primer-colored, piece-of-shit Honda Civic while they waited outside for me. "C'mon bitch, let's get this show on the road!" she yelled as I wrestled with my bags. "Jesus, Bella, you don't need all that shit. We can 'shop' for whatever we want when we get there."
I rolled my eyes and threw my bags in the trunk with the rest of their stuff and then hopped in the back seat next to Luci. We had the seating arrangement color-coded: Latinas on the driver's side, white girls on the passenger side. Nettie was blonde, blue-eyed, tall, thin, and unlike me (who sported the perpetual moon-tan) managed to tan slightly. My pale skin refused to soak up the sun, no matter the proximity. Day in and day out of sunshine in both Phoenix and Jacksonville and my stubborn skin refused to darken in the least. My plain brown hair and plain brown eyes were the only contrast to the pasty skin tone of my plain body. Maria and Luci were the color of caramel, beautiful with their dark skin, dark eyes, dark hair and dangerous curves. In some ways, they reminded me of the hoochie-mama hostesses for the variety shows on the Telemundo and Univision channels.
Maria floored it and soon we were racing down the highway, Ke$ha and Taio Cruz CD's blasting on the stereo to get us in a party mood. We arrived at Nettie's aunt and uncle's posh residence about seven hours after we left, the trip made longer by our stop for lunch and then being stuck in traffic when we got to Miami. Nettie introduced us to her Aunt Victoria and Uncle James, who both hugged us tightly in welcome. I have to admit, the hug from 'Uncle James' felt a tad bit too friendly for comfort, but I was a guest in his home so who was I to complain?
The four of us got dressed up to go hit the clubs, wearing more makeup than clothing, all of us in mini dresses and stilettos, and 'Uncle James' handed us our fake IDs, looking us all up and down appreciatively. The man seriously gave me the creeps. He definitely shouldn't have been eye-fucking his own niece that way, while standing there with his arm around his wife's waist.
Ewww. Dude, that ain't right.
"Here's a little something to get the party started," he said, lighting up a joint and handing it to Maria after taking a hit. Maria, Nettie, and Luci shared and then passed it to me. I took a long drag, held it, and finally released it. Yeah, that definitely helped me feel ready to hit the clubs.
We piled back into Maria's craptastic car and drove toward Miami's South Beach hot spots. "There will be tons of college guys here on Spring Break, so we should be able to get drinks for free the whole time we're here," Maria pointed out enthusiastically. That was great, since Renee only gave me a hundred dollars for the whole week, and that would disappear the first night if we had to pay the cover charges to get into the clubs.
"And we won't have to worry about cover charges," Nettie added, as if she had read my mind. "Uncle James was kind enough to tell me a password to give at the door. Apparently, he has connections with all the club owners."
Yeah, they've got to get their drugs from someone…
The four of us strutted up to the front of the line waiting to get in the first club, Twist, and Nettie whispered in the doorman's ear. He waved us in, leering as we passed him, and we sashayed our way across the crowded room to the nearest bar. All we did was lean against it, and a crowd of guys surrounded us like vultures circling road kill. Maria and Nettie were right, we didn't have to buy a single drink or pay the cover charge to get into any of the clubs.
We all agreed that any hook-ups would take place on or near the premises, and that we would all get back together at the end of the night, so no one would be stranded without a way back to James and Victoria's house. I had no plans to hook up with anyone – even with the drastic changes to my lifestyle since we moved from Phoenix, I was still carrying my v-card. I knew that none of the other girls were still virgins, but it didn't bother me. I wanted to wait for someone special to lose my virginity to, and I had no intention of changing that plan by sleeping with some random manwhore frat-boy that I would probably never see again.
I danced for hours, random bodies pressed tightly together and undulating, just lost in the pounding beats. Every so often, I would stop for someone to buy me a drink and by the end of the night I was feeling no pain.
The four of us finally met back up. Maria and Luci looked a lot more disheveled than they had when we arrived, while Nettie and I appeared relatively unscathed. 'Uncle James' was still up when we wandered back into the house, clad only in nearly-nonexistent running shorts that he must have worn back in the 80's. Judging by what the shorts didn't cover, he was obviously commando underneath. His beady eyes watched us like a hawk appraising a tasty assortment of unattended small pets as we stumbled in, giggling like fools.
"How was your evening, ladies? Did you have a good time?" he asked, taking the time to rove over each of us with his lascivious gaze.
You should be prowling around the old folks' home… come on, dude, leave us alone.
"Yeah," we all chorused.
"It was great, Uncle James. Thanks so much for giving us the IDs and stuff," Nettie answered.
"No problem, lovely ladies, glad to help. Well, I'm heading to bed, make yourselves comfortable," he said as he stretched, flexing his biceps noticeably, trying to get our attention.
I'm about to barf... Seriously.
The same pattern continued for the rest of the week, our days spent parading on the beach in scraps of fabric and our nights parading through the clubs in differently arranged scraps of fabric. The college boys hunted us like packs of wolves tracking their prey; strategizing and splitting up to corner each of us. They were so predictable. We would lead them on, dance, and take their free drinks (making sure the bartender handed them to us directly – less chance of being slipped any kind of date-rape drug). In return, we let them grope a boob or grab an ass cheek, and then we'd laugh as we moved on to the next one. Maria, Luci, and even Netti managed to hook up with a few acceptable specimens, while I just sat back and enjoyed the freak show around me.
Nettie's flaming-haired aunt was rarely at the house when we were there. Apparently she was very busy with her real-estate deals at all hours of the day and night, but her shifty-eyed, stringy-haired, ferret-faced uncle was always present. On our fifth night in Miami, I was woken up by his hand on my breast and I completely freaked out. He and his nasty hand landed on the floor after my knee swiftly connected hard with his groin. He lay moaning and writhing in pain, curled up in the fetal position with the aforementioned nasty hand cupping his junk.
"You goddamn cuNt, you fucking broke my dick!" he screeched in falsetto.
I saw red.
Oh HELL no, the sleazy motherfucker did NOT just call me THAT. It's ON.
"I hope I did break it, you creepy old bastard!" I screamed at him furiously as I landed a solid kick to his ribs. I was aiming somewhere lower, but I took what I could get. "What the hell gives you the idea that it's okay to touch me?"
"I'm letting you stay in my house and eat my food, you ungrateful bitch! You think that shit's free?" He was yelling now, and Maria, Luci and Nettie had woken up and were restraining my arms and dragging me away from him so I couldn't inflict further damage to his manhood. I struggled against their grip, overcome with my desire to literally kick the ever-living shit out of him. A wicked smile crossed my face as I envisioned him laid up in a hospital bed, encased in plaster and sporting a colostomy bag.
"I'm not a whore, so you can't take it out in trade, you lecherous fucker. I can give you some cash for letting me stay here, but you sure as hell aren't getting in my pants." I glared at him.
"Nettie, I can't stay here if this is how Uncle Perv is going to treat us."
"God Bella, I'm so sorry. I'm telling mom, Uncle James, and she's going to be pissed," Nettie spat.
"Your mom isn't going to do shit," James laughed cruelly, a sinister sound that sent chills down my spine. "She's won't want to lose out on getting her drugs for free."
"Fuck you, then. Let's go, girls. We can find a place to hang for the night," Maria ordered.
All of us grabbed our stuff and ran out to Maria's car. We high-tailed it out of the neighborhood and ended up sleeping in the car in the parking lot of an upscale shopping mall. The next day we decided to take the opportunity to do some 'shopping' at said mall, which led to my current predicament.
+-x-+-x-+-x-+-x-+
April 17, 2010
Renee hugged me tightly, tears streaming down her cheeks, before I went through security at Jacksonville International Airport. Phil waved sadly as I walked toward the rows of x-ray machines and placed my shoes and carry-on bag on the conveyor. I walked through the security portal and picked up my things as they emerged from the x-ray machine. At least they didn't pick me for a body cavity search – that would have been the icing on the cake. I had to change planes in Houston, but in just over eight hours of flight I would begin my new life. Charlie would be picking me up in Seattle and taking me to my final destination, Forks, Washington.
Fucking Forks. Might as well call it what it really is… Hell.
I had been cast out of the Sunshine State for my transgressions. Renee finally decided to exercise her authority as a parent to a rebellious teen, and I had been sentenced to serve the remainder of my time as a juvenile in the most sunless location on the planet, under the watchful eye of my father, Police Chief Swan. She felt that my "so-called friends" were bad news since I was with them when I was arrested for shoplifting, and that I needed to be removed from their sphere of influence. In other words, now that she had someone else to take care of her, she washed her hands of me. I was Charlie's problem now.
EPOV
April 19, 2010
I never believed in fate, destiny, or anything that I couldn't be directly responsible for. I lived firmly by the philosophy that we were in charge of our own lives, and that we determined what the future held through our choices and our actions. I should have known that all the plans in the world meant nothing in reality, when a chain reaction that led to the complete upheaval of my life was set off by the arrival of one Bella Swan in the quiet town of Forks.
My family had moved to Forks from Alaska two years earlier. My dad, Carlisle Cullen, M.D., had taken a position at Forks Community Hospital, and my mother, Esme, decided it would be a good time to take a break from her interior design work to devote her attention to her children, me and my twin sister, Alice.
Alice and I were as different as night and day. Born nearly twenty minutes before Alice, I was tall –six feet, two inches – with green eyes and untamable reddish-brown hair, where Alice was miniscule – at barely five feet – blue-eyed with short, spiky black hair. I was reserved and analytical, "Sullen Cullen" was the name others called me behind my back. Alice, "The Tiny Tornado," was hyperactive and over-emotional. She was also my best friend. We shared a bond that allowed us to communicate with each other without using words.
We started our freshman year at Forks High School, where the students first regarded us with curiosity, then envy, and finally a sort of grudging respect. Our circle consisted of Emmett McCarty, a kind-hearted, giant man-boy who excelled in every sport he ever tried; his girlfriend Rosalie Hale, the inspiration for every evil ice queen character ever dreamed of, the "beautiful but heartless" type; and Jasper Whitlock, a lanky Texas transplant with an easy-going personality, who tended to have a calming effect on everyone around him. He and Alice were a couple. Their personalities balanced each other out perfectly. Where Alice was the amphetamine of our group, Jasper was the Valium.
The entire school had been gossiping about the arrival of "new blood," the daughter of Police Chief Swan. It was unusual for someone to start in a new school so close to the end of the school year, but rumor had it that she managed to find herself in serious trouble in Florida and had to be shipped off to boot camp with "Drill Sergeant Dad." She was most likely some hoodlum that would eventually end up incarcerated or married and spawning with some loser like Mike Newton. Either way, it wasn't my problem and I was better off steering clear of trouble. I had too much riding on my success as a student at Forks. I wanted to be assured of an Ivy League acceptance, so I didn't have time to worry about the new charity case.
"Dude, she's hot. Have you seen her?" Emmett asked just before our second period Spanish class started. "And you should see that beast of an old Chevy truck she drives. Rose will have a field day with that one."
Did I mention that Emmett's girlfriend was not only smoking hot, but she was seriously into cars as well?
"Like I care," I scoffed as I took my seat. "I'm really not interested in getting caught up in the new girl drama."
"I heard she got sent here after she tried to kill her stepfather because he was making moves on her. You might want to be careful to not piss her off," Emmet said, making a knife stabbing motion through the air with his fist. It looked more like something else to me, and it was my duty as his friend to let him know.
"Emmett, quit jacking off, I told you I could care less about the delinquent, so move on to the next subject please."
"Sure, dude. Whatever," Emmett shrugged.
Fortunately for me, Señora Goff interrupted whatever else Emmett was going to say, giving the two of us the stink eye before clearing her throat and directing our attention to the front of the room to begin the class. I had no desire to get into any kind of trouble, so I straightened in my chair and focused on the lesson.
At lunch the five of us were sitting in our usual spot when the new girl walked into the cafeteria. My breath caught as I watched her coming through the entrance. She was petite, with beautiful brown hair that flowed in waves to her waist, pale skin, and the most expressive brown eyes I had ever seen. I couldn't tell you what she was wearing, or if she even had clothes on, because I wasn't able to drag my eyes away from hers. The room might have been spinning sideways and I wouldn't have noticed.
Emmett elbowed me in the ribs and let out a low whistle. "Damn, dude. I told you so."
"You know Emmett, 'I told you so' has a brother and his name is 'shut the hell up!'" I glared at him for a second, before my vision was immediately drawn back to those bottomless brown eyes.
Jasper took in the whole exchange, laughing under his breath. "Touchy, touchy, Edward. What's got your panties in a bunch?"
"Probably the three-ring circus the school has become over the new girl. I just want things to settle back to normal, so I can graduate with honors and get the hell out of here," I snapped, somehow managing to rip my gaze from the topic at hand.
She went through the lunch line, purchased an apple and a bottle of lemonade – not that I was taking notes or anything – and left the cafeteria. The students around her parted like the Red Sea as she walked through the room. I noticed that no one was brave enough to get in her way. She definitely had a "Don't fuck with me" air about her.
I turned back to the conversation currently in progress and realized I had absolutely no idea what it was about. I just nodded every now and then, pretending to pay attention, and let my mind wander back to the brown-eyed girl with the chip on her shoulder. The urge to get up and follow her was almost overwhelming, but I willed myself to stay in my seat until it was time to leave for class. I didn't even notice the bell had rung until Alice reached over and waved her hand in front of my face with just the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.
"Hellooooo, you can go to class now, Edward," she said brightly, and then leaned to whisper in my ear, "Her name is Bella, and she is beautiful," before turning to skip across the room to meet Jasper.
Huh, that's weird. I never noticed Jasper leave the table. Wait? What, Alice?
I turned to ask Alice what she was talking about, but she was already gone. The faint echo of the smile in her voice hung in the air around me like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland.
I headed to Banner's biology class, which ordinarily provided me with the opportunity to catch up on any sleep I may have missed for an hour. His class was a joke. I could literally pass it in my sleep. The only effort necessary on my part was to participate in the lab assignments and take exams. I had a table to myself, so no one ever bothered me. I landed in my seat and spread my books and papers across the table. For once I wasn't tired at all, as a matter of fact, my senses seemed to be strangely heightened. The air had a charge to it that reminded me of an approaching thunderstorm, like the warning tingles you supposedly get before being struck by lightning.
Just before the bell rang, the door opened and I stiffened in my seat. I felt, rather than saw her enter the classroom. I glanced up to see Banner handing her – Bella – a textbook and pointing to my table. Of course the only empty seat in the room was the one next to me. She raised her eyes to meet mine as she walked slowly to our table. A parade of emotions crossed her expressive face in the time it took her to reach me: astonishment, fear, loneliness, longing, anticipation, suspicion, finally darkening to anger.
Anger? Yeah, I recognized that one. She looked pissed. I'd need to tread lightly if the rumors were true and I didn't want to end up dismembered with my remains blazing in a dumpster.
I quickly moved my personal items from her side of the desk, stacked them neatly against the edge on my own side, and mumbled a quick apology. She took her seat and dropped her things on the table. A gust of air from the motion sent a wave of her delicious scent over me, strawberries and flowers. I nearly reeled from it. My mouth was watering.
Get a grip, Cullen.
She leaned toward me and I involuntarily gravitated in her direction. She narrowed her eyes and poked her tiny finger in my chest and I swear by all that's holy, sparks were shooting through my body from the point where she touched me.
"Let's just lay down some ground rules and everything will be cool. You don't bother me and I won't bother you," she said lowly. If her voice had been grating and girly, I might have had more than a snowball's chance in hell to resist her, but no, it had to be rough and completely sexy, and it made me harder than I had ever been in my entire life.
I groaned and nodded blankly in response. I turned away before she could make eye contact with me again and kept my head down on the desk for the rest of the class.
This girl would be the death of me.
BPOV
Jesus. I was in so much trouble.
I was sitting next to the most beautiful guy I had ever seen in my entire life. He was pure perfection. He was tall, trim, muscular without looking like a steroid freak, had this glorious mess of coppery-brown sex hair, intense green eyes, and the most lickable jaw ever created. I'd heard the expression "sex on legs" used way too many times before, but I could see it was the absolute truth in his case. He was the definition of the term.
Damn.
When I saw him earlier in the cafeteria, I couldn't keep myself from nearly eye-raping him. He left me breathless just from looking at me, so I had to get out of there. I grabbed an apple and a drink and headed out behind the building, desperately wishing I had a cigarette. You know how people say they always want to smoke a cigarette after great sex, well… And that was just from seeing him across the room.
I knew I had to stay far, far away from him or I would undoubtedly end up with a broken heart. There was no way on earth someone as god-like as him would ever want a mere mortal like me. We weren't even in the same universe.
I collected my fragmented thoughts and made my way to my next class, biology with Mr. Banner according to my schedule. A science class would be the perfect distraction for my poor brain cells to divert their focus away from the beautiful boy in the cafeteria. It's not like I wasn't intelligent. Before I fell in with Maria, Nettie, and Luci, I had always made straight A's in my science classes. Truth be told, I'd made straight A's in all my classes.
Maybe I can get back in touch with my studious side, who knows? I'm sure Charlie would definitely appreciate the effort, and there sure as hell isn't anything else to do around here. Although I know exactly who I'd like to do…
No! Get back on track. Focus, Bella. Right – biology.
Once I finally found the right building and located the classroom, I handed my class slip to Mr. Banner and took the textbook he gave me. He pointed in the direction of my seat and I looked up to see the beautiful boy sitting at the only table with a vacant chair. Oh, the irony.
After I recovered from the initial shock, thoughts raced chaotically through my mind as I walked slowly back through the room to take my place by his side. I was terrified at the prospect of even attempting to carry on a conversation with this dazzling creature. What could I possibly say that he would want to hear?
I knew I would never fit in with the kind of people he considered friends, I'm sure they were all beautiful people, and that in all likelihood I probably wouldn't fit in with any of the students at this Godforsaken school. I wondered what it would be like to have his attention and affection. As gorgeous as he was, he probably had a supermodel girlfriend who was exactly the right type of goddess to be seen at the side of a god like him. I tried to imagine what it would be like to be held in his arms, to be kissed by those full, pouty lips, and grasp the silky mess of his hair tightly between my fingers.
Stupid, stupid, stupid Bella! Stop this shit right now!
Fantasizing about Mr. Male Perfection is going to do zero good, and you'll only end up embarrassing yourself. Everyone already thinks you're some sort of psycho serial killer.
I couldn't let him get to me. I would do whatever it took to shut him out. There was no use getting all worked up over something that would ultimately amount to nothing. The result could only be heartbreak.
When I reached the desk, he had moved the shit he had strewn across the table into a neat pile on his side. Good. I nearly slammed my book down on the table as I slid onto the stool. I could smell him, the scent of honey, lilac, and sunshine, and it made me dizzy.
His scent is the most amazing thing I've ever smelled in my entire life. I want to bathe in it.
Not helping, Bella.
Okay, new strategy. Don't breathe.
I had to nip this ridiculous infatuation in the bud. I leaned toward him, glaring at him as I poked his chest. When my finger made contact, it felt like I had stuck it in a light socket. An electric jolt ran through my body.
"Let's just lay down some ground rules and everything will be cool. You don't bother me and I won't bother you," I growled under my breath.
He nodded, mumbled something unintelligible, and turned away.
Success!
For some reason, it didn't feel like a victory.
EPOV
I couldn't concentrate on anything for the rest of the day. It was fortunate for me that I only had government left for the day. That was another no-brainer class that I could sail through without having to think. Thank God it was simply regurgitation of what we had already learned. I didn't have any room for new information, because my head was full of nothing but Bella.
Bella, Bella, Bella…
I had to find a way to exorcise this demon that had possessed my life. She made it painfully obvious that she wanted nothing to do with me. If I were in my right mind I would want to run far, far away from her as fast as possible. When had I ever let anything or anyone come between me and my goals? Why was I so preoccupied with her?
"Earth to Edward… Dude!" Emmett slapped my back as we headed to my car in the student parking lot. "Where the hell are you? You haven't listened to a word I've said."
Alice chuckled under her breath as she followed closely behind, whispering quietly enough for Emmett not to hear, "I'm pretty sure he's in Be-la-la land."
I whipped around and cast a glare heated enough to melt steel. "You need to stay out of it, Mini Me. You have no idea what you're talking about."
"Easy, brother… calm down. I'm only teasing you. It's fun seeing you all flustered over a girl. I've never had the chance to do this before. You know I only want you to be happy," she said softly.
"Well, don't count on anything happening in that arena. She's made it perfectly clear that she's not interested in me. In fact, she told me to leave her alone, and I have every intention of respecting her request."
Alice looked at me skeptically with a raised eyebrow.
Sure you do, Edward, and denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
+-x-+-x-+-x-+-x-+
I lay in bed that night, reviewing the day's events in my head, beginning with my first sighting of Bella in the cafeteria. I seemed to have no memory of time before that point. I mean, I had memories of my life all through childhood, but nothing seemed significant, as if I hadn't been really living until today. I had been running completely on autopilot through my life; eat, sleep, school, repeat. Everything was black and white, interspersed with splashes of gray. Bella's unexpected intrusion into my life was a Technicolor explosion and I had no idea how I was going to stay within the lines.
I tried to honor Bella's request to leave her alone, God knows I tried. For the rest of the week, except when we were required to work together to complete our lab assignments, I managed to ignore her. But as each day passed I came to understand how hopeless my attempt at pretending she didn't exist was. The more I was around her, the more I realized that she was exactly the girl I wanted. She couldn't see how beautiful she was and that none of the Forks girls could even hold a candle to her. Their beauty was plastic and fake where Bella's was natural and honest. She was smart, always spoke her mind – she had absolutely no filter – and I wanted to be near her more and more each day.
Resistance is futile.
Truer words were never spoken.
BPOV
His name was Edward Cullen. He was beautiful, brilliant, funny, and sarcastic as hell. In other words, he was perfect.
We tried ignoring each other at first, but it was an exercise in futility. We had to work together on labs, and despite my best efforts to shut him out, we became acquaintances. At some point I even considered him my friend, at least in class, since we never really interacted outside of the classroom.
He had this crooked grin that twisted my heart inside out every time I saw it. I learned that he never dated any of the girls in Forks because he could never be interested in "vapid girls that were too senseless to crawl out of a gene puddle." He was determined that nothing would keep him from achieving his dreams and aspirations. He was the most amazing person I'd ever met.
My every waking thought, and my dreams as well, centered around Edward Cullen. It was obvious to me that I had it bad, I just hoped he couldn't tell. I didn't need the embarrassment. There was no use for me to waste my energy thinking that I even had a chance with him, so I resolved to be thankful that we could at least be friends.
I still wasn't accepted by any of the other students, but I really didn't care at that point. As long as I had Edward to talk to, I could make it through whatever shit life threw at me.
EPOV
Bella told me about growing up in Phoenix, and how she had to be the parent to her flighty, self-centered mother. Her sadness at having to leave her life in Phoenix behind when her mother and stepfather relocated to Jacksonville was obvious. She even explained how she ended up being sent to live with her father in Forks.
"I never told anybody about what happened in Florida... I'd had enough of living up to everybody else's expectations of me and decided to live in the moment. My motto became 'live for right now' and I did exactly that. I thought that 'my girls' were real friends, but I found out that when things went bad, they were only concerned about themselves. Even Renee gave up on me when the going got tough. I'm just waiting for Charlie to throw me out when I eventually screw up here, too."
The sadness in her voice was palpable. My heart ached for her, and I had to stop myself from taking her hand in mine. When she let her walls down, I could see how fragile she really was. I knew she was afraid of emotional attachment because she'd been abandoned by the people she loved the most and I didn't want to scare her away. However long it took, I would prove to her that I had everything she'd need and that I would always be there for her.
+-x-+-x-+-x-+-x-+
May 13, 2010
"Cullen!" Bella yelled across the parking lot as I was getting out of my car.
I walked over to where she was sitting in the Red Beast with her window rolled down and leaned against her door.
"I love your shades," she laughed. "Ray-Ban Wayfarers, very suave. I approve."
"I'm glad to have your endorsement, Bella. What do you want?" I asked anxiously. I never knew what to expect next from Bella.
She leaned out the window until her lips were almost touching my ear and whispered enticingly, "Ditch with me. It's a beautiful day for once in Fucking Forks and I don't want to share you with the student body. Carpe diem and all that shit…"
"Bella, I can't," I whined, my shoulders sagging in disappointment. "I have a huge test in Calculus today and I can't miss it. I also have to finish a paper that's due in English tomorrow."
"Screw the test. Varner loves you. He'll let you make it up. And knowing you, your English paper has been done for a week and all you need to do is print it out for tomorrow. Besides, what good is tomorrow without a guarantee? You never know what could happen between now and then. Hell, there may not even be a tomorrow. One thing I do know is that you could use some fun today."
She put her hand on my forehead with a concerned look on her face and then winked exaggeratedly. "You look a little sick, poor thing, you must be feeling awful."
I sighed in resignation. "All right, if you insist." I was powerless to deny her anything. "Where are we going?"
"It's a surprise. Have faith and follow me."
God knows I'd follow her anywhere.
"Let me text Alice. I'll let her know I'm feeling 'sick' so she can cover for me and get Jasper to give her a ride home," I reasoned.
As soon as I was in my Volvo following her, Bella barreled down the 101 out of Forks and then left onto 110. When she stayed on La Push Road, I figured she planned to spend the day at the beach.
Wrong.
We hiked along the shoreline a ways from where we had parked and then she led me on a path to the top of a cliff and pointed down.
"We're jumping."
"Fuck that! No way! You go ahead. I'll just wait up here and be ready to call 911," I said, stepping cautiously away from the edge. I wasn't a fan of heights to begin with and looking over the side of the cliff made me feel a little dizzy, or maybe it was just my proximity to Bella.
"Oh come on Edward, don't be such a pussy! Live a little… I swear it'll be fun."
"Fun until we die at the bottom… It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end."
"Don't you trust me? I promise I'll keep you safe," Bella assured me. "Let's jump together. I can hold your hand."
I was willing to literally jump off a cliff to hold Bella's hand in mine. I swallowed my fear and took a deep breath.
"Ok, fine. I'll do it."
She smiled widely, her dark eyes sparkling with mischief.
"You'll have to strip down, your jeans and stuff will be too heavy to swim in when they get wet," she said as she kicked off her shoes and tugged her jeans down the length of her perfect legs.
I drew another ragged breath and stopped breathing when she took off her shirt.
Oh. My. God.
I get to see Bella in her bra and panties.
I get to see Bella in her bra and panties, soaking wet.
I was going to die. I still couldn't breathe. I definitely couldn't tear my eyes away from the sight before me.
At least I'll die happy…
Bella bit her plump bottom lip, looked at me through her long eyelashes and with an exasperated sigh, grabbed the hem of my shirt.
"Lose the clothes, Cullen. NOW," she ordered. "You're holding up the show."
I released the breath I forgot I'd been holding and raised my arms to let Bella pull my shirt over my head. A trail of goosebumps appeared where her hands had brushed against my skin as she removed my t-shirt, and a shiver ran through me.
"Cold, Cullen, or scared?" she asked, arching her eyebrow at me mockingly.
"Both?" my reply came out as a question. "It's kind of breezy up here on the cliff top, plus being half naked only makes it colder, and it's a long way down to the water," I answered, fidgeting under her appraising gaze. In an attempt to distract her focus, I undid the button on my jeans and slid the zipper down, trying not to stare at her mouth as she licked her lips and failing miserably.
I managed to get my jeans off without injuring myself in the process, but standing there in only my boxers I had a whole different issue to worry about.
I am freaking hard as a rock. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Now what?
Bella glanced down at the major tent action I had going in my boxers and smiled widely, her teeth gleaming in the sunshine.
"Nice," she teased, nodding at my glaringly obvious erection as it strained to free itself of its fabric confines.
God, please kill me now.
"Can we just jump already? I'm ready to die from embarrassment, and I'd appreciate it if we could hurry the process along," I squeaked.
"Jesus, Cullen, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. If anything, you should be proud to show that monster off, except you might want to protect it from the diseased skanks of Forks. And Yorkie… I've seen the way he eyeballs you like you're a piece of meat."
I chuckled nervously and Bella laughed with, or more precisely at, me. She grabbed my hand and I felt the jolt shoot through my arm directly to my chest. I imagined it was the feeling I would get from a set of fully-charged cardiac defibrillator paddles.
Clear!
"Are you ready?" she whispered into my ear.
"No, not at all. Let's get this over with and go on the count of three…" I replied. "One, two, three!"
We leapt from the cliff edge, and suddenly we were hurtling through the air, plummeting toward certain death. I was screaming like a girl and I didn't care if she heard me or not. By that point I was too preoccupied with dying to be embarrassed.
Half way down, I realized I was actually having fun. The feeling of the wind rushing over me was exhilarating, but the most exciting part was feeling Bella's hand squeezing mine tightly and hearing her laugh with pure joy.
I was falling hard, and I was falling fast, and gravity had absolutely nothing to do with it.
BPOV
I hadn't expected Edward to ditch school with me, so to say I was surprised when he agreed was the understatement of the century. He was always so serious about his grades and SAT scores, and which college he was going to attend. He had a tendency to over-think everything. I'm pretty sure Edward could over-think taking a dump.
He had no idea where I was taking him. It had to be driving him crazy.
I had heard stories about the local reservation kids coming to this spot to cliff-dive from Charlie's friend Billy Black. It sounded like fun, but definitely not something I'd want to do alone. Billy had a son who was a couple of years younger than me, Jacob, but he was too wrapped up in his girlfriend to want to hang out with the delinquent daughter of his dad's best friend. It worked out better that way. I'd hate to have Junior panting after me and I was absolutely not into the whole cougar thing. Besides, I'd much rather spend my time in the company of Edward Cullen than with anyone else in the world.
The look on his face when I told him we were jumping was priceless. I just wish I'd had my camera with me to capture it. I could clearly see the fear in his eyes. It was obvious he wasn't enjoying the idea of plummeting off a cliff a hundred feet to the ocean below. The fear morphed into something completely different when I started taking my clothes off, and it made my stomach flutter when I saw his emerald eyes darken as he watched me. When I helped him with his shirt, I couldn't resist the chance to touch his naked abs on the way up. My fingers nearly burned from the contact, the current between us was so intense.
And then he was down to just his boxers.
Fuck me sideways.
He was hard as hell in those boxers. I couldn't see how they could take the strain without splitting at the seams. The light trail of curls leading down into the point of the 'v' formed by his hips was mesmerizing and I had to fight the urge to follow it with my tongue to the treasure waiting below.
Edward was blushing so hard that I wondered how he had any blood left for his brain, between his blazing cheeks and his massive wood. I couldn't keep the smile from my face as I teased him about it.
I took his hand tightly in mine, tingles running through my body from the point of contact.
"Are you ready?" I asked, knowing undoubtedly that he may not have been ready to jump off the cliff, but oh yes, he was definitely ready.
"No, not at all," he answered. "Let's go on the count of three. One… two… three!"
He sucked in a huge breath, and hand in hand we leapt from the cliff and plunged through the air to the turbulent ocean below. Edward let out a blood-curdling scream and I laughed hysterically. The sensation of the wind blowing over us and the feeling of leaving our stomachs at the top of the cliff were amazing. It was more fun than any roller coaster I had ever ridden. I even caught Edward smiling widely from the corner of my eye, just before we reached the bottom.
We broke through the water with a splash and were tumbled ass over elbows by the ocean current below, never letting go of each other. I quickly righted myself, and pulled Edward up with me, spluttering and laughing as we surfaced together.
"Tell me that wasn't the most fun thing you've ever done," I prodded as we stumbled onto the shore.
"How about it's the most fun thing I've ever done so far?" Edward replied hoarsely, pulling me down onto the sand with him.
My heart nearly stopped as his mouth crashed down on mine. Time came to a standstill as his lips parted and I tasted the sweetness of his tongue. I would never crave anything as much as the flavor of his mouth as long as I lived. I had kissed other guys before, but there was no comparison.
When we finally felt the need for oxygen, Edward pulled away and held me in his vivid green gaze, his large hands framing my face. I closed my eyes slowly as he placed gentle kisses on my forehead, my eyelashes, my cheeks, and then the tip of my nose. He brushed his lips softly against mine and cradled me against his chest.
"Bella," he whispered shakily, "I can't resist you. I need you to be around you all the time. You've turned my life upside down. Please, please let me in…"
Was it worth the risk? If I let my defenses down, would he eventually abandon me like everyone else? If I took the chance and fell in love with him, he'd soon realize that he could do so much better than a lost cause like me and I would be left empty and alone.
My heart argued fiercely with my mind. Yes. Unequivocally yes! It IS worth the risk. HE is worth the risk.
I stood up and walked to the edge of the water as the waves made their way onto the shore and receded. Edward followed me silently and stopped when he was facing me, but I couldn't look at him. He placed two fingers under my chin and lifted my head to face him as he searched my eyes. I saw fear and concern in his as a tear trailed silently down my cheek.
"What is it, Bella? What can I do? Tell me what you want from me."
"I'm scared, Edward, scared to death. I want so much and I know it's just not possible. I want this… us," I gestured between our chests, "to be real, but reality doesn't ever turn out like the fairy tales. I know from experience that nothing's forever in this crazy world. I'm afraid that you're going to wake up one day and see that I'm no good for you." I trembled with the effort it took to keep from falling apart in front of him. Seeing me as a snotty, blubbering mess would only help to convince Edward that I wasn't worthy of him.
"Why do you think that I'll leave you? I'm not one of your fake friends, and I'm not your mom, Bella. She was too selfish to recognize what an amazing person you are. She didn't appreciate or care for you; instead she used you until she found someone else to take care of her. Her lack of concern caused you to lose faith in yourself and made you become someone you're not. When she should have been there for you – when you needed her the most – she pushed you away. I won't push you away, Bella. I wish you could see yourself clearly, the way I see you. You are strong… smart… brave… beautiful… everything I've ever wanted and you mean too much to me for me to ever let you go. No other woman in the world ever made me feel like my heart's on fire. Only you.
"I took a leap of faith with you. Now it's your turn to take a leap of faith with me," he declared, his eyes blazing, brilliant green lasers that burned right through me.
I was stunned speechless by the brutal honesty behind his words. He was right about Renee. She proved time and again that she didn't have the ability to care for anyone other than herself. Could he be right about me? Could he love me?
Would I be able to live with myself if I didn't at least try to find out?
"Okay," I whispered, nodding imperceptibly.
"What? I couldn't hear you," he said, a hint of his trademark smirk beginning to appear.
I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. Louder, I told him, "I said okay. I want to try."
"I'm sorry, I still didn't hear you. What was that you said?" His smile was wider now, and I swear my heart skipped a few beats when he unleashed it on me.
"I SAID I WANT TO TRY, EDWARD! I'M READY TO TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH," I yelled, inches from his ear while I slapped playfully at his chest.
"There's my 'Right Now' poster girl," he laughed as he picked me up and swung me around wildly. He stopped spinning and held me tightly, kissing the top of my head, promising softly, "I guarantee I won't let you down."
For the first time since I could remember, I felt safe and cherished, wrapped securely in Edward's strong arms. Amazingly, I found myself looking forward to what tomorrow could bring…
A/N: First and foremost, HUGE thanks to my beta, A Little Distracted. She is the best friend a person could ever hope for, and I never would have posted a single word EVER without her guidance and encouragement.
Thanks to those who pre-read this story in its many incarnations, FangMom, Ginginlee, and Karen4Honor. I appreciate your comments and suggestions, and think this story came out much better because of them!
"Hide in Plain Sight" by FangMom is up for an Avant Garde Award for Best Love Story. You can vote through December 26 at http:/twilightfb-awards(dot)blogspot(dot)?zx=f0ae268825750fc1. If you haven't read this yet, what are you waiting for?
To my readers from "My Imaginary Friend," no, I haven't abandoned the story, I just needed a break to write my contest entry, and then my muse decided to take a vacation and leave me with an epic case of writer's block. I know where I want to go with Chapter 18, it's just a matter of getting it right in type. On the plus side, Chapter 19 is nearly complete and should post soon after Chapter 18 does. Damn my non-linear brain!
I hope you enjoyed this one-shot. I have a second part written (that I had to cut from the entry, or else it would have been too long)… it might just make an appearance.
Ordinarily, I wouldn't beg for reviews, but I really would like to redeem my writing from the complete lack of reviews I received in the one-shot contest *pouts again*, so… please review!