Dear God, no... Bruce Banner inwardly groaned. A light breeze brushed softly against his bare skin... he felt sore all over...and when he opened his eyes, he did not recognize where he was. All classic signs commonly left behind by the Other Guy.
He was currently surrounded by trees and tall grass- very itchy tall grass. Bruce sat up and started going through a mental checklist. Keep quiet, move carefully- never know how far from population you are. Priorities: Find food and clothing. Shelter would be nice, but not necessary. Figure out where you ended up- wait.
Bruce paused as he caught a slight movement in the tall grass a few feet away. He waited, in case it was a random wild animal, but when there was no more movement, he cautiously crawled over to where the disturbance occured. His heart leaped in his throat when he spotted the still form of a man. A casualty of the Other Guy? No, he was still breathing, Bruce realized a moment later. Not unconscious, either, because unconscious men did not drape their coats over them like blankets. And why did that coat look so familiar?
Bruce sat back with a frown, confused at the situation. He had never woken up this close to a living being after an incident. In fact, he didn't recall anyone having had this close an encounter with the Other Guy and surviving the experience. Perhaps the Other Guy didn't view him as a threat?
Bruce leaned forward and shifted the man's coat so he could get a better view of the man's face. He gasped in surprise as he recognized his companion instantly. As if anyone who had ever met Captain Jack Harkness could possibly forget him! The question was, how did Jack end up here with him? And Torchwood... Hartmann... Bruce groaned as he thought back to the last three months. Obviously he couldn't go back, but he had such a good job! He wouldn't easily find such wonderful security and resources as he had at Torchwood.
Bruce recalled being approached by two men in suits, and the being escorted to Torchwood Tower and interviewed by Yvonne Hartmann, who had heard he was out of a job. Obviously, the U.S military hadn't yet revealed why he was out of a job, or he might have found himself in the same mess as Jack Harkness. Hartmann was even accomodating, said no one need find out where he was or who he was now employed by. Bruce knew it was only a matter of time before he was found out again, but he had expected it to take a lot longer than it did due to the secretive nature of Torchwood. Everyone in Torchwood seemed to be hiding something, and everyone knew that, so it wasn't strange at all for Bruce to evade certain questions.
He barely batted an eye upon discovering that yes, aliens were real, but don't worry! Torchwood is here to defend the Earth against them. After turning into a giant green rage monster from time to time, who was Bruce to question the existence of aliens? Besides, the technology he had access to was amazing! Granted, he only had restricted access, but what he was allowed access to was still fascinating.
His main project was to figure out a strange leather contraption with buttons on it. Bruce frowned. A leather contraption that was currently fastened around Jack's wrist! Just who did he think he was, anyway? Bruce recalled his first meeting with the enigmatic captain.
Hartmann typed in a series of numbers and the automatic door slid open. "Dr. Banner, meet our most permanent resident."
The room was mostly bare, except for a single cot and a long metal table beside it. Sitting on the table was a tall, blue-eyed man with dark hair who looked incredibly bored. As he caught sight of his visitors, his expression brightened and he extended his hand. "Captain Jack Harkness. And who are you?"
Flushing under the intense stare Jack fixed him with, Bruce accepted the hand and replied, "Dr. Bruce Banner. Pleased to meet you."
Jack's expression suddenly darkened and he jerked his hand back as if he'd been burned. He glowered at Hartmann. "Another doctor?" he growled.
Hartmann smiled coldly. "Bruce isn't a medical doctor. Most of the time he isn't, that is. He specializes in physics, but he is quite helpful in other fields of science as well."
Jack glared at Bruce suspiciously. "So why am I meeting him?" he demanded.
"As of now, you will be his personal assistant," Hartmann announced, to the surprise of both men.
After that, Jack was Bruce's constant companion, albeit reluctantly at first. Jack seemed more knowledgeable about most of the objects Bruce was sometimes asked to analyze than anyone at Torchwood. Jack would glare disapprovingly at the sight of anyone trying to handle otherworldly objects and tell them just enough about said object to keep them from accidentally killing themselves with it. Bruce wondered at that, but he quickly learned that Jack was a master at avoiding questions about himself, and if pressed for answers, he would ignore you altogether.
One day, Hartmann presented Bruce with a strange leather contraption, a smug expression on her face as she told him she wanted him to 'figure out how it works.'
When she left, Bruce turned to Jack, as he always did when presented with oddities like this. "Any thoughts on this?" he asked.
Jack glared at him and snapped, "Figure it out yourself!"
Bruce slowly reached out toward the wrist strap-
"Don't even think about it," Jack growled, sitting up and glaring at him.
Bruce sighed and settled into a sitting many questions! But they were in a delicate situation, so some things would have to wait.
"So, you're the Green Guy," Jack stated, his eyes raking up and down Bruce's body. Jack smirked as Bruce self-consciously tried to cover as much of his dignity as possible with what was left of his pants. "Awesome parlor trick. Wish I could do something that impressive, but the not-dying thing is about as impressive as I get."
Bruce blinked. Honestly, it was hard to keep up with the guy. One minute he's snapping like a cornered animal, and the next he's gushing like an excited fanboy. Bruce would suggest the man was bipolar, but Bruce really had no room to judge.
"What exactly happened?" Bruce asked, dreading the answer but needing to know.
Jack shrugged. "Not sure. One minute I'm strapped to the examination table, and the next, Big Green busts down the door, grabs me, and takes off. He was even kind enough to remember my coat! He ran all night before stopping here. He asked me to stay. That's all I remember."
Suddenly it all came flooding back. Bruce remembered missing Jack's presence early yesterday morning, and casually hacking into the system to find out where he was... seeing his assistant strapped to the autopsy table being cut open... his horror upon realizing from the screams that Jack was alive during the whole messy process, and watching him die... and then watching in disbelief as Jack gasped back to life while the doctors in the room prepared to begin the process all over again...and Bruce's resulting anger on the other man's behalf, so enraged he didn't notice his surroundings disappear in a green haze. It was now obvious to Bruce what had happened. The Hulk's usual response to Bruce's fear or anger was to remove its source- usually certain military personnel. This time, Bruce was angry at what was being done to Jack. The Other Guy must have been confused and chose to remove Jack from the situation and-
"He asked you to stay?" Bruce asked.
Jack looked uneasy. "His exact words were 'stay with us.' Not entirely sure what that meant."
Bruce knew exactly what it meant. Normally, Bruce preferred being on his own, but he couldn't leave Jack to get recaptured by Torchwood. For whatever reason, the Other Guy had accepted Jack. That meant that Jack's best chance was to stay with Bruce.
"Look, we're in a tricky situation," Jack said nervously. "We are going to be Torchwood's top two targets in the Doctor's absence-"
"So it only makes sense for us to stick together," Bruce interrupted. "But you should know, I have the U.S. army after me as well."
Jack grinned. "And you should know that even though I am not from Earth, or even this time, I am mostly human. Oh, and I might have Time Agents from the future after me."
Bruce mulled over that information in his head, savoring this first (and hopefully not last) time Jack willingly offered even a tidbit of information about himself. "Fair enough," Bruce said at last. He held out a hand. "I'm willing to risk your enemies if you're willing to risk mine."
Jack shook his hand. "Looks like you have a partner."