"Please Moony? Just this once?" Remus glanced over at Sirius, who was looking at him with puppy eyes and a pouty lip. Remus was just to tired to fight. Sirius had been persistently chipping a way at Remus' defenses all day. He gave up.
"Very well Sirius. I will." Even if it's just because James has Lily now. Remus shook his head and went back to his book. Sirius looked ecstatic. "You won't regret this Moony." And bounded off leaving Remus by himself by the fire staring into the flames. I'm sure you won't because you never do.
Remus was almost finished his book when a presence came up behind him. "Hey Remus," it was James, "Me and Lily are going to be out of the castle for awhile and Peter's coming with to keep lookout for teachers. Would you and Sirius be willing to cover for us until we return?"
Remus barely registered what James said, just coming to the conclusion that Sirius would have no interruptions in his fun, and then the thought that he ought to say something. That's normally what one does in response to a question. "Sure don't worry." He said flatly.
"Great! Thanks!" James looked so happy. Remus followed his movement to the dormitories. He knew that the Old James would've stayed wanting to know what was bothering him. It didn't make much difference, Remus wouldn't have told him anything anyway.
Another hour had passed and Remus finally decided to face what was waiting for him in his room. He slowly walked up the stairs, every step seeming to take all of his concentration. He reached the door and stared at until he knew every grain and color in it. Clasping his hand on the brass handle he opened it, apathetically facing his former friend.
Sirius was above him, trying to have Moony meet his eyes. Remus couldn't bear to look into the irises of the person softly calling his name. This was better than even in his dreams, yet also worse at the same time.
In his dreams Sirius was always in love with him the way he was in love with Sirius. In reality Remus was no better than whore, a slut. A little escapade to the side for Sirius. And yet, in a strange and perverted way Remus was happy. Happy he was giving himself to Sirius. Surrendering, in a way, pushing all of his troubles from his mind. He felt relaxed whenever Sirius was enjoying himself. He knew he would become addicted to this feeling of bliss.
He figured that Sirius must know that wolves only had one mate. Right now Remus didn't care if Sirius never touched him like this again. Remus knew he was doomed to a life of loneliness and tears, the least he could do was let other people take their own happiness and pleasure from him while they could.
Remus finally turned his head to face Sirius, but the long raven-haired enmity before him had thrown his head back in ecstasy. Go ahead, Remus thought with a rye smile contorting his once peaceful features. Use me. I will watch you from here. As you use me, break me, then leave me. I will be happy, if only in this moment.