A/N: Okay so realllly long A/N.

First of all this is the sequel to my story Blackout, so although its not absolutely essential that you read it, I would recommend that first, since you'll be missing out on a lot of stuff, and plus I really love it so you should read it anyway.

Second of all, thank you to everyone who read Blackout already and are following me to this story. I love you all!

Thirdly, as of right now the majority of this story will be taking place in the country at Charlie's. I absolutely loved those chapters in Blackout and wanted to revisit it, so here it is.

Fourthly, I have posted the playlist on my profile.

Fifthly, I'm doing this new thing where I'm posting song lyrics that I found particularly important or related to the chapter.

Lastly, I think, I won't be updating this very often until I finish my other story, Best Served Cold, which by the way you should all check out, BUT I was so excited about how this first chapter went I decided to post it to give you a little teaser. I think that's it so I hope you enjoy it! XOXO

I don't know what I've done

Or if I like what I've begun

But something told me to run

And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head

Little voices whispering

That I should go and this should end

Oh and I found myself listening

-Missy Higgins

Bella

I stepped out of my red truck and into the dirt and dust of the driveway. It's been two years. Two whole years since I've been back here. My dad finally decided to get his farm back and running, hiring a ton of new staff to help him. It's really come along since I've been gone. I smiled at the thought. It was Charlie's dream.

"Bells!" Charlie yelled from the porch. "I'm so glad you're back!" He ran from the porch and scooped me up into a big bear hug.

"Me too Dad. Hey thanks for letting me stay, I really appreciate it. Mom still….well you know."

"I know, I know." He smiled. "You're always welcome here honey. Always."

I cringed at the word.

"Bells are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm completely fine." He slung his arms around my shoulders as we walked up to the house.

"Where's Bruskey?"

Charlie's face turned soft. "I'm sorry honey, I should have called. He was getting old and…"

My face went blank. "Oh. I'm sorry Dad." I held back the tears. I hated crying in front of my dad. Maybe it was because he was a cop. I felt like I needed to be tough all the time.

I walked up the stairs to my old room and set down my bag. It was just like I'd left it, with a few minor decorative changes. He'd gotten a new bedspread and some new curtains. Some picture frames lined the desk in the corner. Me as a kid. Me and him at the Deb ball. Me graduating high school. I gulped hard. Me and Edward on our wedding day.

I sat down on the edge of the bed. Why does life have to be so complicated? I used to think that love was just black and white. You either loved someone or you didn't. And if you loved someone it always works out. It was all you needed. But it's way more complicated than that. Love isn't enough and there are more shades of gray than you could ever predict. It's messy and absolutely brutal sometimes. Fucking brutal.

My finger ran across my wedding ring, which was hanging on a chain around my neck and absent from my left hand.

My eyes shifted to my bag. I knew the box was in there. I didn't know why I brought it here; all it did was bring up memories. Despite all the bad memories, it also reminded me of all the amazing moments I spent with him. I wouldn't trade those for anything. I'd endure the pain for a past moment of happiness. I walked over to my bag and started rummaging through. I paused when my fingers ran across the wood material. Don't do it Bella. It's just going to make it harder. My fingers betrayed me and grasped onto the box, bringing it out of its place at the bottom of my bag.

With shaky fingers, I pulled it onto my lap and took a deep breath before opening it. This was all that was left of my life with Edward. I'd gone a little crazy and got rid of almost everything after he left. Now I wish I had all that stuff. One of his ratty t-shirts was folded into a small square in the corner of the shoebox like box. I picked it up and held it to my face, taking in his smell. Even after all this time, I was still in pain. And I still missed him everyday. There had to be something wrong with me for a stupid t-shirt to affect me this much. I sniffled as I pulled the shirt over my head. Next I shuffled through the few remaining pictures I had left that I hadn't burned or ripped to shreds. I debated for a moment on the last item in the box. I hadn't looked at it since the day he left, because I knew what it would do to me. My fingers betrayed me once again and picked up the folded piece of paper, opening it up to reveal the last thing he'd ever told me.

When you're ready for us again, I'll be here waiting. Always.

When I was ready, he said. It's been years and I still don't know if I'll ever be ready. I didn't know it was possible to hate someone and miss them at the same time. Or to want to beat the living shit out of someone one minute and want to shower them with love the next. My heart did more flips than an Olympic gymnast and it was fucking confusing.

"Bells?" Charlie knocked on my door.

"Yeah." I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes, tucking the note and my heart back inside the box and shutting it tight.

The door creaked open and he peeked his head in.

"I know you just got here and are just getting adjusted and everything." He scratched his head like he didn't know if he should say anything. "But there's something I need to tell you…"

I heard the front door swing open and someone came in, stomping their boots across the floor.

"Who's that?"

My dad planted his hands on his hips and shook his head. "Honey you're not going to like or understand right away but I just wish you would listen…"

I didn't like where he was going with this. I held my finger up, asking him to stop talking for a moment. I got up and walked slowly to the door and peeked around the corner. There was a large, body builder looking guy standing at the sink washing his hands. His head turned briefly to the side and back again.

Did I just see who I thought I saw? I did a double take and blinked several times, trying to comprehend the face I'd just seen. It wasn't possible.

"Ch….Charlie?" I pointed to the man at the sink. "Wh…."

The man spun around and had a huge grin on his face. A face I recognized. A face I thought I'd kicked to the curb years ago. Why the hell was he standing in my father's kitchen like he owned the place?

"Bells!" Emmett ran over and scooped me up in his arms. I fought back and pushed against him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

My dad stepped in front of me. "Isabella I know you're 22 years old and an adult, but don't think I can't still wash your mouth out with soap. Watch your language!"

I turned towards him. "Sorry Dad."

I spun back around to face Emmett again and pushed him. "What the FUCK are you doing here?"

My dad stomped his foot beside me.

"Dad don't give me that, I am your daughter. You don't think I learned it from Renee do you?"

Charlie knew he couldn't argue with that. "Continue," he gestured towards Emmett and stepped aside.

"Relax Bells." Emmett put his hands up in defense.

"You two should talk about…things." My dad ducked out of the room faster than you could say awkward turtle. He was avoiding something. I'd deal with him later.

"Sit Emmett." I pointed to the table and took a seat across from him. He started fiddling around with his fingers.

"Speak." I slammed my hands down on the table.

"Well, you know about my dad's accident last year…"

I nodded. Charlie had called me about it. I felt like I should have…called Edward or sent flowers or something, but it was just too hard.

"Well that dick, may he rest in piece, left everything to my mom and the hospital. Did he even think about his only son?"

I raised an eyebrow. We both knew that wasn't true.

"Well…his only legitimate son."

"That's a little harsh, but go on."

"My mom got all depressed and started drinking and being a grieving widow and all that shit. She basically lost all the money we had buying booze or gambling it away. It was a complete mess. Anyway, she's been bouncing around rehab centers for the last year and I was stuck with nowhere to live and no money. I had to drop out of community college and everything."

"Wow. I'm really sorry Emmett. That sucks." I didn't exactly like the guy, but all that was pretty shitty.

"Thanks." He looked down at his hands before continuing. "Anyway, out of the blue your ex-husband calls me and tells me that I might be able to get a job here, since he'd known that your dad was trying to get this place up and running."

"Wait, wait. Hold the phone. Edward called you…to help you?"

"Yeah I know crazy right. Anyway I called your dad and after some begging and apologizing for all the stupid shit I pulled with you in high school- which by the way I'm really sorry about, I was such a dick- he finally gave me a job. So I've been out here for the last six months and it's been going great."

My mind was reeling. Not only was Emmett working for my dad, but he and Edward were finally acting like brothers should?

"So…you talk to Edward a lot?"

He looked a little dumbfounded. "Yeah everyday."

"Oh." Would he tell him about me? "Does he know…I'm back here living with my dad?"

"If he doesn't he'll know soon."

"Why do you expect him to call soon?"

"No I expect him to be walking out that barn door right about now to carry some more hay inside."

My breath caught in my throat and I closed my eyes tight. This is not happening. I'm dreaming…this is just a nightmare, a figment of my imagination. There is no way in hell my ex-husband who I may or may not still be in love with is now working at my dad's farm. No way. I slowly opened my eyes to Emmett's laughter.

"He didn't tell you did he?" He nodded towards the door my dad had conveniently exited through ten minutes earlier. "It's okay, I don't think Edward knows either. He'd be a hell of a lot more moody than normal if he did."

"I'm going to kill him," I said through clenched teeth.

"I wouldn't recommend that. He is the chief of police, that wouldn't look too good on your record Bells."

"I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!"

Emmett kicked his feet up on the table and put his hands behind his back, laughing hysterically at my outburst.

I was just about to hunt my dad down and give him a piece of my overly distraught mind when a movement out by the barn caught my eye. I turned slowly to face the window and spastically ran towards it, planting my face on the windowpane.

"Ohmygod…" I whispered. There he was, in all his farmer tan sexy haired cowboy glory. "Ohmygod…" I repeated, pulling my hands over my face. Emmett giggled again. "Shut up Emmett!"

"This is going to be one hell of a night," he said when he could finally breathe again.

I sprinted to my room to grab my cell phone.

"Alice," I said sternly when she finally picked up.

"Hey Bella. How are you? Are you at your dads?"

"Yes."

"What's with the attitude?"

"Alice. I know we don't talk as much as we used to, but you are still with Jasper right?"

"Right," she said as chipper as ever. She was clearly oblivious as to why I was calling.

"And Jasper and Edward are as close as they can be without being butt buddies right?"

"Right."

"So why the FUCK wouldn't you tell me Edward was here?"

"Oh….Jasper told me not to."

"Why the hell would he do that?"

"Probably because Jasper misses you and he knew you wouldn't come if you knew."

"Wait, wait. Where is Jasper?"

"Probably in your backyard."

I threw my hands up in the air.

"Is there anyone else here that I should know about? Did my mom move down here too?"

"I don't think so. But Rose and I will be there in a few days to visit."

"Rose is coming here?"

"Yes. Her and Emmett are attached at the hip. She's been out there twice a month since he's been working there."

"God! What is this? The high school reunion from hell?"

"Bella calm down. Rose is still…Rose, but she's different. It's like the bitch without the tramp. She's changed Bella. We all have."

"I can't believe this is happening…" I pinched the bridge of my nose. I came out here to start my life over again and my past just kept coming back up and biting me in the ass.

"I've got to go Bella. I'll see you in a few days."

"Bye." I shuffled back into my room and slammed the door. If I was going to survive the summer, let alone the next few days, I needed to prepare myself.

Edward

"She's back Edward." Jasper threw a stack of hay on the pile. I still couldn't believe Jasper was working on a farm. It was more laughable than the fact that I was.

"Who?"

"You know damn well who."

"No. I honestly don't." I paused and turned towards him.

"Bella."

My heart nearly stopped. Several images started running through my head. Bella on her rooftop. Bella here, in this very barn with me on that night. Bella's accident, one thing I tried to forget. Our reunion in the rain, our cabin getaway, our time apart. I closed my eyes as the last few flashed across my mind. Our Vegas wedding. Our new apartment in New York. Then fights, arguments….things. Bella leaving. Signing the annulment papers. I never thought I'd be able to say I'd been married and unmarried before I'd reached 21. Not something to be proud of. Besides that fact it fucking hurt.

"Edward?....Edward?" Jasper was waving his hands in front of my face. "This is gonna break you isn't it?" He put his hands on his hips.

I pulled myself together and picked up the next pile of hay. "No Jazz. I won't get close enough for it to break me. It's over. It's been over for more than two years, leave it alone."

He went back to work. It was over. Way over. And it killed me everyday.

I'd be in constant conflict. A fight everyday. I'd be fighting like hell to protect my heart and I'd be fighting like hell to win her back. A constant contradiction. I threw one last bale of hay on the pile. I turned and finally started towards the house. "All is fair in love and war," I whispered.

A/N: Okay so firstly, don't kill me. I know, I know they can't be apart, BUT without a conflict I have no story and no plot. SO please bare with me and trust me. I have plans : ). And I know I said I probably won't update much in the very very near future, BUT maybe if your reviews are amazing I might be a little inspired to post some more chapters before I finish my other story *wink,wink*