This is a MerDer shooting one-shot. What if Meredith had acted differently during the shooting? Fair warning: it's intense and dark. Enjoy and let me know what you think.
Meredith leaned against the wooden door, panting as her heart began to race in her chest. Cristina paced back and forth in the supply closet, her hands resting stressfully on her head. She felt nausea wash over her and threw her lab coat off of her shoulders, grabbing a plastic bin from the nearest shelf and beginning to heave into it.
"Meredith, what's wrong?" Cristina asked her. She controlled her gagging for a moment and checked her watch.
"I've been throwing up around this time every day for a week now. I don't think this stress is-" She was cut off by another wave of nausea as she heaved once again above the bin, yet still didn't throw up.
"Oh, my god! Oh, my god, Meredith, get down! Get down!" Cristina whisper-screamed to her. The blonde surgeon dropped to a sitting position on the floor, leaning against the door for support as she held her stomach in an attempt to stop the nausea.
'What? What's happening?" She whispered, only earning a shush from Cristina as she peeked through the window in the door. Meredith covered her mouth with her hand to stop herself from retching all over the floor as Cristina's breathing kicked up.
"That's the guy from the elevator..." She whispered to herself Meredith shook her head at Cristina, confused and thinking that she couldn't hold herself back much longer.
"He asked for directions... to the chief's office... oh, my god..." Cristina's eyes went wide and she looked down at Meredith in shock. The blonde surgeon felt bile rising in her throat and began to heave once again over the plastic bin.
"Meredith... the guy with the gun is looking for Derek." Meredith was overcome with shock, and so she lost control of her body, heaving one last time and throwing up in the plastic bin in her lap. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the positive pregnancy test, clutching it in her hand as she threw up again and praying that the shooter couldn't hear her.
XxXxX
With golden string
Our universe was clothed in light
Pulling at the seams,
Our once barren world now brims with life
XxXxX
Derek heard sirens wailing in the distance as he ran down the catwalk, checking his pager and looking around to make sure everyone had gotten to safety.
"Dr. Shepherd?" He heard a man's voice behind him and turned, walking quickly towards the man, who was tall with grey hair and a mustache.
"Sir, you shouldn't be here, it's not safe." He said, looking around for anyone suspicious. The man walked towards him casually, his hands in the pockets of his brown coat.
"I know it's not safe here. That's the point. This hospital isn't safe." When Derek only furrowed his eyebrows at the man, he continued. "You don't recognize me, do you?" He asked. Realization crossed the surgeon's face and he smiled slightly.
"Mr. Clark. Sorry, I was... there's a lot going on here, I have a situation, you should go someplace safe. so you don't get hurt." Derek said softly. Gary Clark's blue eyes were cold as he stared at Derek.
"I'm already hurt." Derek's face changed as realization dawned on him and his eyes filled with fear. "You hurt me when you decided to kill my wife," Gary said coldly, raising the gun in his hand to point directly at Derek's chest.
XxXxX
That we may fall in love
Every time that we open up our eyes
I guess space and time
Takes violent things, angry things,
and makes them kind
XxXxX
Cristina held a firm grip on Meredith's hand as they walked quickly down the hall, their eyes scanning all around them for people and places to hide. Meredith's mouth fell open and she gasped as they rounded the corner, her eyes landing on a man pointing a gun at her husband. She felt Cristina's hands on her, pulling her back, but she couldn't focus on anything but Derek.
"Oh, my god. Oh, god." She said to herself.
"Mr. Clark." Derek started. He didn't know what he planned to say if he got the chance to talk, but he knew he wanted a chance.
"Shut up. No talking, you're not the man here. I'm the man. I'm the man. I told my wife I would be. I'm the man and a man looks after his wife. But I didn't. I let you decide that she should die. I wasn't a man then. But I'm a man now." Gary Clark said.
Meredith's hand covered her mouth and her eyes were wide with fear as she stepped forward towards the two men on the catwalk. She faintly heard Cristina urging her back, but the words didn't register in her mind. All she could see was the barrel of the gun and the fear in Derek's eyes.
"What kind of hospital is this? It isn't safe here. Somebody has to protect people from you. Handing down judgments like you're God. You don't get to be God. No talking!" He shouted when Derek continued to try to speak. Derek raised his hands and gulped, trying and failing to keep the terror from his eyes as he found the courage to speak despite the gunman's persistent orders.
"Mr. Clark, listen to me. I know your loss. I lost my father... when I was a kid. Two guys killed my father for his watch. Right in front of me. Right in front of me." His hands slowly dropped to his sides as he frowned at the man, filling slightly with anger. "I didn't become a doctor because I wanted to be God. I became a doctor because I wanted to save lives." He said.
"Look at me. Please, look at me in the eye." Derek said slowly. "I'm a human being. I make mistakes. I'm flawed. We all are." He continued, his eyes refusing to leave the blue eyes of his attacker.
"Today, I think... for you, it's just a mistake. You want justice. You want somebody to pay. You're a good man. I can see it in your eyes." He was silent for a while, allowing his speech to soak in for a few moments. "Can you see it in mine? Can you?" Derek asked, letting out a tiny sigh of relief as Gary slowly lowered the gun.
Meredith stumbled forward with Cristina behind her, breathing heavily in and out with tears beginning to pool in her green eyes.
Everyone in the room was silent for a moment, with the gun resting at the shooter's side and relief flushing over the three doctors. The moment was just that, a moment, as a second later, April Kepner walked onto the catwalk, drawing the attention of all of the room's residents.
"Oh, Dr. Shepherd. Thank god you're back." She said, not noticing the gun or the two residents across the room. Everyone seemed to move in slow motion as Derek turned around to face April, his mouth open and his eyes wide. Gary Clark raised the gun without him noticing, causing the frightened brunette to gasp.
Derek turned back around, coming face to face with a gun barrel. Meredith screamed at the top of her lungs, running over to him faster than she had ever moved before. Derek saw her just as the gunshot rang in all of their ears and the surgeons slowly opened their eyes to survey the damage. They were met with a horrible sight.
Both Meredith and Derek were laying on the ground in a heap. Everyone in the room stood in stunned silence as one of the grounded surgeons realized that they weren't the one that was shot.
"Meredith, no!" Derek screamed, jumping up so that he was kneeling over her. Cristina ran over to them, tears pouring down her face. April stared in shock and terror at the shooter, who was staring at the gun in his hand as if he was shocked it had fired.
Meredith had jumped in front of Derek at the last minute, throwing them both to the ground and getting herself shot in the chest. She felt her lung failing as she coughed up a mouthful of blood on her scrubs and looked up at Derek.
"D...Der-Derek... I- I.. I'm p...re-reg...nant.." She choked, failing to get air into her lungs and scrunching her face in pain. Derek was frozen for a moment in shock as Cristina reached them and immediately applied pressure to the wound, looking around for anything that could help her.
"She's pregnant... you're pregnant, she's pregnant.." Derek murmured to himself. Gary Clark stumbled over to the doctors on the ground, the gun hanging loosely in his hand. He heard what Derek was saying and fell to his knees.
"I shot a woman... a pregnant woman... for no reason... this wasn't supposed to happen... it wasn't supposed to be this way..." He sputtered. The hospital doors opened and a SWAT team rushed in, guns at the ready.
"I'm sorry Alison... that I couldn't protect you... that I hurt all those people... this isn't what you wanted... none of it was. I'm so sorry." He whispered to himself. Before anyone even had a chance to look at him, he held the gun to his temple and pulled the trigger.
XxXxX
We are the dust of dust
The apple of God's eye
We are infinite
As the universe we hold inside
XxXxX
Derek heard the gunshot and looked up, saw that Gary had shot himself, and turned his attention back to his wife. He didn't care what that monster did as long as he didn't touch his wife again. He kept both of his hands on Meredith's head, one of them stroking her hair and the other on her face.
"De- der... Derek... I l-love y...you" She managed. Derek frowned at her, wiping the tears from her cheeks as more blood spewed from her mouth and Cristina ordered April to get supplies.
"You're not going to die. You are not dying, do you hear me? Meredith, you're going to be fine, you're not dying. Promise me you're not going to die?" He said, tears drenching his own face.
"I... I'll try... not... to die." She said, her breathing becoming shallower as April came back with a crash cart and an armful of gauze and bandages.
"We need to turn her over to check if the bullet is still inside," Cristina said. Derek looked up at her sadly.
"Meredith, we have to lift you up for a second. I need you to hold my hand, this is going to hurt." Derek said. Meredith nodded weakly, gathering as much breath as she could and taking hold of Derek's hand.
Cristina and Derek reach under her and lifted her up quickly, searching her back for an exit wound. Meredith used the little breath she had to scream as pain cascaded across her entire body and tears covered her face. She squeezed Derek's hand so hard she thought she might break it as Cristina identified an exit wound and they set her back down on the ground.
Derek's hand shook as he cradled her face, encouraging her to breathe through the pain as Cristina began to pack the wound and bandage it.
"You're going to be fine, Meredith. You're going to be just fine. Just stay with us a little longer, you're going to be okay." Cristina said as she bandaged the wound hastily. April handed Derek an oxygen mask to put over Meredith's nose to help her breathe and he began to secure the straps around her head when she stopped him.
"Kiss me... please..." She said weakly. Derek leaned toward her, placing his lips on hers and letting tears drench his face. He tasted the blood that coated her lips and mouth but ignored it, placing the hand that wasn't holding hers on her pale cheek and wiping away her tears.
Moments later, her hand went limp in his. He sniffled and secured the oxygen mask over her face, nodding at Cristina to let her know that Meredith was unconscious. She placed a comforting hand on his back as he stroked her face and wiped the blood from her chin.
"You're going to be okay. You just keep our baby safe in there."
XxXxX
Infinity times infinity
Infinity times infinity times infinity
Infinity times infinity times infinity times infinity
Let there be light
Let there be light
Let me be right
XxXxX
Teddy pushed the bulky bed down the hallway inch by inch, with Owen on the other side helping her. They both stopped suddenly when his phone rang. He pulled it out to quickly silence it, but something caught his eye and he answered it. Teddy looked at him, asking him what was happening with her eyes. He just held his finger up to his mouth to tell her to be quiet.
"Derek? What's going on, what's the situation?" He asked quietly. He let out a sigh of relief and then put the phone on speaker.
"Can you repeat that? I've got Teddy here with me, and she should hear this from you." He said, smiling at her. She looked at him, confused. Derek sighed shakily from the other side.
"The shooter is dead, it's safe to come out.." He took a shaky breath that sounded more like a sob than a breath. Teddy and Owen exchanged worried looks.
"Derek, what's wrong? What happened?" Teddy asked. Derek sobbed softly into the phone.
"She was pregnant... she was pregnant... God, she was pregnant..." He muttered to himself. Owen and Teddy exchanged stunned looks as they began to roll their patient's bed faster down to the ICU.
"Who was? Talk to me, Derek, take a breath." Owen said. Derek took a deep and shaky breath from the other side of the line.
"Meredith. Meredith was pregnant." He said softly. Both surgeons were silent for a few moments as they reached the ICU. Neither of them moved, only staring at each other as Teddy finally spoke the one word they were both hung up on.
"Was?" She said. Derek sighed.
"Gary Clark came here to kill me. He was about to shoot me and she jumped in front of me at the last minute. The bullet went all the way through her lung and out the other side, and she's lost a lot of blood. Cristina's taking her to an O.R. now, but I need someone else to help. I don't do lungs. I just don't, I'm a brain surgeon, I can't help her." He explained slowly. Teddy and Owen stared at each other in shock for a minute before both breaking into a run back to the ORs.
"Derek, we're on our way, just hang in there a little bit longer," Teddy said, hanging up the phone and sprinting to the OR.
XxXxX
The dust of dust
We are the apple of God's eye
We are infinite
As the universe we hold inside
XxXxX
Derek insisted that Teddy, Owen, and Cristina allowed him to sit by Meredith's head during the surgery. He promised not to get in the way and eventually, they gave in. He positioned himself above her head the same way he had when she had donated her liver to her father, his hand absently stroking her hair and his eyes staying firmly planted on hers, despite the fact that they were closed.
He didn't notice the hours that passed. The only thing that broke him from his trance was Cristina placing her hand on his shoulder and telling him that the surgery went smoothly. He tore his eyes away from Meredith's face and looked up at Cristina.
"What about the baby?" He asked. She was silent for a moment and he was filled with anxiety. She slowly shook her head and his heart shattered in his chest. He covered his face with his hand and let everything that he had held back go.
Cristina rubbed his back softly as his body convulsed with sobs and he steadied his hand on his wife's head. His fingers ran through her hair and tears cascaded from his eyes as he sobbed.
"He... he killed... killed our baby... he killed it..." He cried, rocking back and forth in the chair. He sat and let all of his emotion and frustration and anger out for a few minutes, thankful for Cristina being there to comfort him and not judging him or trying to calm him down. He was thankful that she understood he just needed to get it out. When he finally calmed down, Cristina spoke softly.
"She's okay. She's going to be fine, and you can have another baby. You will have another baby. And she is okay. You will both get through this. Be thankful for that." She said. He nodded softly.
"She's okay."
XxXxX
With golden string
Our universe was brought to life
That we may fall in love
Every time we open up our eyes
XxXxX
Leave a review and let me know what you think.
Kisses!
-E