Author's Note:

That's right, everyone! I'm finally back, after a long, long, la-hong absence! Sorry about the wait, but a combination of school and a lack of inspiration put me in a bit of a thick fog. My apologies, but I got it eventually, right? Aaanyway, this first chapter might be a bit more drama than usual, but I'll make up for it in the second.

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Swords For Hire Advance Mission 1 - Apocalypse Safra

By Doc Shinryuu
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Everything started in Jagd Helje, a lawless area in the land of Ivalice, where a Clan battle was taking place. The situation didn't look optimistic for one side, a single Bangaa White Monk. It seemed he was in for a trouncing from the six opponents he was up against.

Bear in mind, however, that things are not always as they seem. With a quick spin, the Bangaa sent his claw-like weapon in a wide, chain-tethered arc toward his opponents. Reacting just a moment too late, the closest Clanner was promptly eliminated. What started off looking like a hands-down victory quickly turned into a brutal slaughter by the disadvantaged. Only one Clanner survived, but not by luck. He recalled the battle's final scene vividly to everyone who asked. The last thing the Bangaa hissed before leaving the field, with his weapon to the survivor's throat, was:

"Run. Return to the citiesss you're usssed to. Tell thisss ssstory to the world. Warn everyone to fear..."

The survivor would shudder in horror at this point, then continue.

"Apocalypssse Sssafra..."

But all that's just a backstory notion. Everything really started in the Prancing Chocobo Pub in the city of Cyril...

"Okay, so what do we need to do?" The viera Assassin spoke to a young human boy, seeming excited.

The small Clan, Clan Nutsy, had called together their three three total members to discuss their biggest mission yet.

"We have to investigate this 'Apocalypse Safra' story that's been floating around recently, Etoile. The pay in it for us is high, and there's little confirmed danger in it, too." The young boy responded. The remaining moogle Gunner chuckled dryly at the boy's description.

"Confirmed danger? What about unconfirmed danger, huh, Marche?"

"Oh, pipe down, Montblanc." The boy, Marche, swung lightly at the moogle, Montblanc.

Etoile, the viera, was clearly getting anxious. "Well, c'mon Montblanc! Let's get going!" She stood up, grabbing Montblanc by the arm and turning to run off.

"W-wait!" Marche shouted after her, "This is a Dispatch Mission! Only one of you can go!"

Etoile abruptly stopped running and dropped Montblanc. Turning, she slowly walked back to their table and leaned over it at Marche. "You sure?" Etoile had lowered her voice to an airy whisper.

"Uhh..." Marche's face started to redden.

"Here's an idea..." Etoile ran two fingers under Marche's chin. "If you let me take Montblanc along... I'll let you take care of the funds from this Mission."

"O-okay!" Marche grinned dumbly at the notion, completely mesmerized.

Etoile smiled at him, stood back up, and turned to leave, Montblanc in tow.

Montblanc waited until he was sure to be out of Marche's earshot before speaking. "Etoile... You realize that Marche takes care of the funds anyway, don't you?"

"Yes, I did." Etoile smirked knowingly. "But it's amazing what a beautiful lady can make one forget."

Montblanc laughed in response, walking alongside Etoile to Jagd Helje.

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After travelling a good distance, the pair happened upon a sharp dip in the lanscape, leading into a dark valley, filled with the harsh, squalid ruins of what used to be a prosperous city. They had arrived at Jagd Helje. There was only one thing left to decide...

...Who went in first.

Etoile glanced down at Montblanc. "Jan?"

Montblanc met her gaze. "Ken."

Turning quickly to face each other, the duo shouted "Pon!" in unison.

Etoile's hand was pointed flat at Montblanc.

Montblanc met her pointing with a point of his own, using two fingers spread at an angle.

After a brief pause, Montblanc spoke up, grinning. "Scissors beats paper. You go first."

After grumbling for a moment, Etoile took her longbow off her back and slid down into the lawless Jagd. After a minute of not hearing Etoile scream in terror, Montblanc followed her down.

The streets of the once-populous ex-city Jagd Helje were eerily quiet. The only sounds were the shifting of dust under the feet of Etoile and Montblanc and the howl of the winds through the empty, mazelike streets. After a good deal of walking, something flashed by on a rooftop. Hearing said something go by, Etoile's sensetive ears twitched. Grabbing Montblanc by his shoulder, she whispered to him.

"Eyes open, Montblanc. We've got company." The moogle nodded and began loading his gun. He didn't even have time to fit a bullet in before something landed ahead, kicking up a cloud of dust as a gust of wind blew toward the duo. Shielding their eyes from the dirt onslaught, they could make out a standing form through the cloud. Slowly, the dust settled, revealing a bangaa White Monk, his Greaseburst claw worn as a shoulderguard, tethered to a mechanism on his wrist by a chain. He grinned out at Etoile and Montblanc from under the brim of his hat.

"Who daresss challenge Apocalypssse Sssafra?" He hissed.

"We're Etoile and Montblanc of Clan Swords For Hire, and we're here for the bounty on your head, Safra!" Etoile shouted boldly.

Montblanc blinked slowly, then poked Etoile annoyedly. "Etoile, we're Clan Nutsy, remember?"

"Shut up. That's hardly as imposing as 'Swords For Hire'." Etoile tapped Montblanc on his head with her bow.

"So? What if there's a real Clan Swords For Hire? We don't want someone else getting our credit, do you?"

"I happened to run a thorough search of Sprohm's Clan Records, and found no such clan in existance!"

Just as the argument began to heat up, it got interrupted by a burst of hysterical laughter from Apocalypse Safra.

"You expect me to believe that sssuch a motley crew asss you two plansss on defeating me? You can't even finish a fight amongssst yourssselvesss!" He managed through his overflowing mirth.

Etoile turned her head and glared daggers at Apocalypse Safra. She spoke quietly and angrily, "Care to place a wager on that?"

"Cccertainly!" Apocalypse Safra said through his waning cackle. "If you actually manage to defeat me, I'll allow you to do with me whatever you pleassse!"

"That might not be as bad for you as you think." Montblanc chuckled, narrowly dodging a solid whack from Etoile.

"However..." Apocalypse Safra continued. "If I win... It'll cossst you your livesss..."

Etoile grinned widely at his bet. "I suppose we'll just have to win, then."

Apocalypse Safra grinned right back. "Well... You'll find me in the cccenter of thisss Jagd. Don't take too long..." he hissed just before leaping off.

After looking around for a moment, Etoile already had a plan. She put a hand on Montblanc's shoulder to get his attention and pointed into the distance. "Montblanc, see that clock tower up there?" Seeing his nodded response, she continued. "I need you to climb up there so you can get a clear shot at Safra, got it?"

"No. Not a chance in Hell." Montblanc responded, staring at Etoile as though she'd suddenly grown two more heads. "Do you realize what'll happen if I fall ? With a fall like that, there won't be enough of me left for a burial! And the wind, don't even get me started on the wind up th-"

Having tired of Montblanc's ranting, Etoile needed only kiss him on the lips to shut him up. After pulling back and watching him blink surprisedly for a moment, she said only one word:

"Go."

Montblanc saluted sharply and ran off toward the clock tower, newly oblivious of any danger involved. Etoile stood and watched him for a moment before turning and strolling off toward the center of Jagd Helje in no particular hurry. Montblanc needed to get into position, anyway.

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After about an hour's wait, Safra spotted Etoile walk nonchalantly into the cleared crater that remained of Jagd Helje's town square. She noticed him standing dead-center on the crater and sauntered in his direction.

"Hiii! Sorry I'm late. I got a bit lost." Etoile grinned fakely, trying either to fluster or annoy him.

"You appear to have lossst your moogle friend." Apocalypse Safra seemed unfazed by her sudden bout of cheerfulness. "I assssssume hisss sheer terror got the bessst of him?"

"Oh, him? Nah, he just wanders off from time to time." She grinned much more deviously this time. "Don't you worry, we'll know where he is before you know it..."

"I'm sssure." Apocalypse Safra chuckled dryly. "He cccertainly ssseemed like one of thossse 'lassst-minute hero' typesss."

"Right." Etoile was starting to get impatient. "So, you wanted a battle?"

Apocalypse Safra chuckled again after a brief second of thought. "Ah, the short banter before a battle. How unusssually chivalrousss of me." He took his chain claw from its perch on his shoulder and attached it to the wristband. "Jussst don't expect to hear sssomething like that again."

"Anticipating your loss already, eh?" Etoile grinned again. "Not the best of tactics, I think."

"We'll sssee." Apocalyspe safra met her grin with one of his own. He wasn't about to let her comments affect him.

In a flash, the battle had begun. Apocalypse Safra swung his arm around over his head, releasing the claw in a wide arc ending just over Etoile. She rolled out of the way, summoning and firing an arrow at Apocalypse Safra. Pulling the claw back to him, Apocalypse Safra sliced the arrow in two in midair. After taking a hop-step backward, he leapt into the air, his claw taking a white glow. Etoile got the feeling this was a bad thing and prepared to get out of the way. Apocalypse Safra pulled his hand back slowly, focusing his energy, and thrust it forward with all his might.

"Far Fissst!" He shouted as his chain claw began a quick, glowing beeline toward Etoile. Etoile dove out of the way in what she thought was plenty of time.

She didn't, however, expect the explosion.

The moment Apocalypse Safra's chain claw connected with the ground, it sent up a blast of energy, easily reaching Etoile and sending her flying. Stunned by the blast, Etoile landed with a thump and slid for a few yards before fully stopping, obviously not getting up for a bit.

Apocalypse Safra reeled himself in to his grounded chain claw, chuckling at Etoile's misguided attempt at a dodge. "Heheheheh... Foolish." He chortled as he reattatched his claw, beginning to walk toward Etoile ever-so-slowly. "It looksss like your time is almossst up..." In his slow walk toward Etoile, his claw began to glow with a purple aura. "I Hope you've reconccciled yourssself with any regretsss you may have had, becaussse it'sss time to faccce the end!" The purple glow reached its peak as Apocalypse Safra swung back, letting his hand drop like a guillotine toward Etoile.

With a loud clang, the unexpected turn of Far Fist's explosion met it's deserved other.

Etoile's longbow had separated at its center, revealing a blade gleaming with the same purple light of Apocalypse Safra's Greaseburst.

"Impressive, isn't it?" Etoile muttered, looking unusually serious. "The Zanmato. A dangerous weapon. It's believed to hold the spirit of a demon within. I happen to know otherwise, though. There's no Demon... Only the power of Ultima."

Apocalypse Safra raised an eyebrow at this new development. "Interesssting. Two Ultimasss againssst one another..."

"Not necessarily." Etoile grinned.

Apocalypse Safra blinked for a moment. "...What?"

"There's something you don't quite know about." Etoile pointed an ear toward the old Helje Clock Tower. "Remember Montblanc? My little gunner friend? He should be up there right about now."

Apocalypse Safra slowly turned his head toward the clock tower. He could see a faint glint near the roof.

"Keep in mind that you've been standing still for a while, now." Etoile was grinning ear-to-ear as Apocalypse Safra's eyes widened. "If you keep looking, you might just see it coming."

There was a flash from the roof-

BANG

-As a bullet raced toward Apocalypse Safra.

The bullet itself didn't damage Apocalypse Safra much. However, it broke his focus just enough to end his Ultima attack. He realized that this would end any resistance he had against Etoile's Ultima.

A bit late, though, as he was in midair at the time.

Apocalypse Safra hit the ground hard. Barely managing to keep his consciousness, he tried to get to his feet, but was stopped by a sharp point at his throat. He opened his eyes to see Etoile grinning down at him, an arrow nocked in her now-bladeless longbow.

Apocalypse Safra grimaced angrily and closed his eyes. "Fine. I concccede defeat. Kill me however you will." He mumbled, steeling his mind and waiting for the killing blow.

After waiting for about ten minutes without said killing blow, Apocalypse Safra sensed something was amiss and opened his eyes slowly. He never would have expected what he saw.

Etoile was standing over him, smiling, extending a hand to help him to his feet. Apocalypse Safra stared at her for a moment, confused, before swiping her hand away and getting up on his own.

"What are you doing?" Apocalypse Safra asked quietly. "I recall that you would kill me if I were to loossse to you."

Etoile grinned cheerfully in response. "Ah, but that's where you're wrong. The deal was that I could, and I quote, 'do with you whatever I please.'"

"...Um?"

Apocalyse Safra had enough time for that one word before Etoile began laying out her regulations. "Okay, first off, your name is way too complicated. From now on, you're just 'Safra', okay?"

Safra nodded, knowing that there was likely no alternative.

"Right. Second, enough of this causing terror business. It has no future in it for anyone, especially not you."

Nod nod nod.

"Aaand, lastly... I'd like to invite you to join Clan Swords For Hire." Etoile smiled again, offering a handshake to seal the deal.

Safra couldn't help but stare at her again. But, instead of asking why, he decided better of it. "...I don't have much choiccce in thisss matter, do I?"

"If you don't want the choice, I could always make the decision for you." Etoile's smile once again turned into a grin.

"...Fine." Safra shook her hand, somewhere between feeling reluctant and grateful.

"Excellent! Welcome to the Clan, Safra!" Etoile thrust her arm around the new Clanner's shoulders and led him off, out of the Jagd, back to the rest of the world.

Meanwhile, back at the clock tower, Montblanc was carefully making his way back to the ground.

"Kupooo... Marche's gonna blow a gasket when he hears about thiiis..."
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Mission Complete!
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Marche: ...You took him into the Clan.

Etoile: Well, the job didn't specify to bring him back dead, did it?

Marche: I know that, but... He's still an outlaw! With him in our Clan, we could be charged as accomplices!

Etoile: Oh, don't worry about that. I've got my ways of keeping the law down.

Montblanc: Riiight. Just keep in mind that there's White Mages and Bishops in their ranks. Y'know, the abstinent guys.

Etoile: Oh, hush.

Safra: ...What have I gotten myssself into?
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Final Fantasy Tactics Advance and all related characters and races Copyright to Squaresoft.

Swords For Hire, Swords For Hire Advance, and all related character personalities Copyright to Will Kusleika.