fuckfest

Title: To: Hell with it all

author: the ever crazed Ellie Lildat

Rating: who gives a shit?- guess that's a clue

Disclaimer: Always helps to add this twelve hours after you post a story (moron): Why the F*CK would I EVER claim to own this CRAP??? (Can you tell El's mad at the f*ck-faces at M.E.??)

Summery: Not a paragraph in the world can say what I'm writing

AN: What do you get when you mix frustration with poor inspiration and me being the psycho author? Answer: this fic. I'm writing this because I don't understand why one of my fics can get raving reviews and the rest are treated like shit- EVERY PIECE OF WRITING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN IS SHIT IN MY MIND!!!! and it's the truth. So this is what's going on here:

I'm going to write whatever comes to mind, and I want to try to get as many bashes and flames as possible! You don't even have to really read it! I'm ONE HUNDRED PERCENT SERIOUS!

Just review like normal or send them to my e-mail:

lildat08@excite.com

Come on, BASH MY ASS!!!!!



Chapter 1: Always take a Buffy fan serious

It was a normal day it the freaksville that was Sunnydale- perfect weather with evil brewing somewhere in the town. It wasn't just because Sunnydale was known for having a poor police force, no, Sunnydale -just in case your a moron and haven't figured it out yet- in sitting right on top the mouth to hell aka the hellmouth. (Cue crappy music) dun-dun-DUN! (took you long enough)

The evil villain of the day? Well, SHE (there's a hint if I ever read one) was carefully double-checking the fine details of her plot, which had been in the making for six years (six years you say?)-yes! SIX YEARS, dip-shit!- and the time was just approaching for her chances to destroy every last existing being in the universe (including herself)- EVERY SINGLE being that existed, including demons of all kinds and herself. (she has very high hopes)

Why did it take six years? Well, I'm not going to tell you that- it would ruin the anti-climatical surprise ending because it's not just what you think.

but at the same time as the villain of this story plotted away, our team of heroes- led by the heroine (Hate to go PC on you, but thats a drug, the word is ) of the story who also happened to be the one girl in all the world with the strength and skill to kill the demons or something along those lines. Her name was Buffy Anne Summers (nice spelling on ) and she was - bug duh moment coming up here- the Slayer. (more crappy music) Dun-dun!

Now usually Buffy would be off having fun or training as she used to do in her life, but not anymore. Buffy was scared shitless to leave her home, let alone her room. And this is not because she was just resurrected because this is off-canon since I don't want to deal with that, nope. A crazy vampire (and here would be the part where you offend people by turning one of your own favorite characters into the bad guy, haven't seen you do that lately Ellie. Oops! Sorry, wasn't that what was about to happen in the barely started and never reviewed fic Confessions of the Unknowing- which is being plugged at this moment) named Spike. He was in love with you- you morons- and had been stalking her like crazy- because he was crazy- and after her latest rejection of him, he snapped.

Spike, you creepy-creep-creep, just go away! She cried through her bedroom door to the vampire on the other side who hadn't even attempted to break into the room and rape her- he's crazed remember- or something like that.

No! Slayer, your going to listen to me and listen good! He roared to the girl as she coward (what the f*ck?- hey! Shit can be said tens times fast here but not F*CK?) by her window as if it would help. Now, unlock this bloody door and let me come in! (oh, gonna flash your little I used to live in England and can speak the lingo because I'm all high and mighty'-ness?)

No! How about you just go to HELL, you bastard!

If you don't let me in you're going to be in a world of pain, Missy! (What in the name of losers is up with your name-calling skills, you're seriously lacking them) He threatened stupidly.

Oh, I'm SO scared. William the Chipped Bloody is going to hurt me. If you hurt me you're just going to be hurting yourself moron! And with that retort, Spike finally kicked the door open with a snarl and sent splinters flying all over the small bedroom. And before Buffy could even blink, he was across the room and had her by the throat with her back on her bed.

Well then I guess it's a good thing that I learned pain-tolerance skills- isn't it? (cue even more crappy music) Dun-dun-dun!

TBC...
(GOD YES! I don't have to read anymore today! And with Ellie's devotion to her writing, I'll never have to read anymore of this ever again!)