Author's Note: I started writing this almost two years ago when I was still a major fan of The Secret Show. I've just finished this now and I figured, "Eh, why not upload this here for good measure?" Keep in mind that this fanfic here is almost guaranteed to ruin your childhood and garner some anger and hatred. However, I will still stand behind it. Please try to enjoy!
-Voltalia
A World War II-era Ford Jeep drove through the unwinding path of the empty, abandoned maize maze in Sussex, Great Britain, blasting Lady GaGa's "Poker Face" from the vehicle's antique built-in radio. Anchored to it by thick, durable rope, a wooden wagon rolled right behind it, carrying about twenty-five people, who were nude, bounded by leather belts, and blindfolded with wool straps.
A Gardevoir/Mismagius hybrid with her mum's body, her father's coloration, ruby red eyes with yellow cornea, jewels of the same color as the eyes, and a Jack-O'-Lantern mouth drove the Jeep with an apathetic, coldblooded look on her face that instantly made you assume she was vile scum.
The passenger on the front, a Gardevoir/Gengar hybrid with his mum's body, his dad's coloration, eyes that were completely red (cornea and everything), an extremely short skirt, and spikes in his hair, fidgeted about while his wife calmly drove.
"Are you sure it was a good idea to drive all the way to the inside of this corn maze?" Xeron Eastwood uncertainly asked his wife, Millenia.
"Ah, shut up, Xeron, my boy," Millenia replied in an apathetic manner. "This will have so been worth the long drive."
Xeron and Millenia had only been married for almost a month and they were already near the point of bickering like they had been married forever, in spite of their huge age difference, (Xeron was 19 years of age; Millenia was 2,021 years.)
In the back of the Jeep, Millenia's faithful Zoroark of brawns, Hannibal, was downing an entire bottle of hard liquor straight from the bottle while his young nephew, a newly evolved shiny Zoroark named Edmund, was keeping watch on the following wagon with the brains Sunako's daughter Tzipporah, his aunt Ninetales, and her granddaughter Sable who was also his girlfriend. Millenia's apprentice William (who was the son of one of Millenia's old adversaries, Doctor Doctor) had dozed off from boredom just a few minutes ago.
"What is this?" a voice suddenly shouted from the wagon. "Let us go or we'll kill you!"
"Yeah, right." Edmund sarcastically stated. "You can't do anything while the leather's binding you."
The Jeep abruptly stopped near the entrance of a crop circle and Lady GaGa's voice withered away into nothingness. All eight of the baddies (most of them, anyway) got out of the Jeep and removed the bound hostages one by one out of the cart. Xeron immediately recognized one of them as his stepfather Victor Volt.
"Dad, is everything okay?" Xeron asked out of concern. "Someone shouted a death threat."
"That was me, Xero." Victor answered. (Xero was a pet name first given by his mother.)
"Psst…listen, Dad," Xeron whispered softly. "I love Millenia very much but I don't want to put you through Hell. Help me out."
"Watch the language, Xeron." his stepfather warned.
"Sorry." the young Pokémon hybrid apologized.
Millenia walked over to where Xeron had put his stepfather on the ground. Victor could see closely on Millenia that a barely conspicuous stomach bump was starting to slowly form. This was enough to make him curious.
"Xeron, you've got Millenia up the duff, I see?" Victor asked, still having that young feeble-minded charm to him.
"Yes, I have." Xeron replied. "I'm so psyched."
"Ahem," he heard his wife clear her throat out loud.
Xeron turned his head to face his impatient love.
"Don't worry, hun," Xeron reassured Millenia. "I'll kill him ASAP."
"You better. Otherwise, you won't be sleeping with me tonight." she threatened.
Xeron gulped nervously. And so, to save his chance of having sex with his wife, he devised an idea.
"You know what? Instead of killing him right away, let's torture him first." Xeron suggested.
"Wait, what?" Victor outrageously asked.
"Good idea." Millenia said. "Come on, minions. Let's take all of these captives and torture them as well."
"Xeron, what the hell were you thinking?" Victor asked angrily.
"I'm not risking a night without sex. That's what I was thinking." Xeron answered.
Millenia dragged Victor along the ground for about thirty feet until they reached a shallow ditch to throw him and the other prisoners in. She threw him into the ditch and produced a staple gun out of her hat.
"Alrighty, Victor Volt. You're first for the 'special treatment.'" Millenia ominously laughed. "Hannibal, if you would be so kind as to pin him down."
"With pleasure, madame." Hannibal said.
Hannibal then obeyed and got to his mistress's command. Millenia moved the staple hole near one of Victor's testicles and pulled the trigger.
"OH GOD NO!" Victor screamed.
The metal staple pierced the skin of the testicle and blood immediately leaked out of the wound. Millenia giggled in pleasure while Victor was screaming and crying. She then stapled Victor's other testicle and had a giggling fit over her victim's screams of pain.
"Xeron, why would you let her do this to me? Don't you love me, Xero?" Victor asked while whimpering in pain.
"Because I'm that loyal to my wife, Dad. I'm very sorry." his stepson answered in guilt.
"Xeron! No! You're better than this!" Victor shouted.
Edmund then walked over to Victor and threw the now-empty hard liquor bottle at his face. Victor screamed once again before passing out from the pain.
"How can we torture the others?" Hannibal asked Millenia.
"Oh, I don't know." Millenia was pondering for a minute. "Wait, how about we sew that one victim's vagina… permanently?" She pointed to an African-English woman with an obvious Afro on her head. "Her."
"I'm sorry… what?" Stacy Stern asked out loud.
"Oh, did you not hear what I just said, Ms. Anastasia Stern?" Millenia asked her victim. "I said we're going to sew up your vagina and it will be permanent."
"But why?" the black woman asked out of protest. "What have I done to you to deserve this?"
"Well, let's see…" Millenia pondered again. "Many times you squealed my plans to U.Z.Z when you came to your senses, you refused to join my casino, and you tricked my henchpeople into letting you go. Now quit yer crying and let me touch you."
"No! NO!" Stacy screamed in horror. "I don't want to die!"
Millenia summoned Ninetales over. Ninetales carried with her a large sewing needle and some embroidery thread and gave the items to her mate's boss.
"Oh God… someone please tell me I'm dreaming!" Stacy started crying. "PLEASE!"
When the rest of Millenia's gang pinned her down, Stacy could only look on in terror as Millenia started pulling the thread through the needle's eye, stab the needle through her labia, and begin to close up her vagina. After the ordeal was over with, Stacy cried from all the pain down in her mutilated private area. As the blood from the vaginal wounds seeped out, Millenia and her friends laughed up a storm.
"Bleed, Stacy Stern, bleed!" Hannibal shouted. "Bleed like there's no tomorrow!"
And bleed she did, until she was near death. Xeron was utterly horrified by the whole experience but he spoke nary a word lest he go a night without sex.
"What do we do with the other victims now, dearie?" Xeron asked his wife.
"We are going to give them hell. Hell or the next best thing." Millenia replied as she was smiling.