Yay! New story! Boy do I love crossovers. I rediscovered my love for Marvin the Martian here lately and was shocked to find that there wasn't any crossovers featuring these characters. I was so shocked, I had to remedy it immediately! So here ya' go.
Note: Zim isn't much different from how he is in the show, but due to the time period Zim lives in and some things in the show, I took a few liberties with Marvin. He's somewhat of a mix of how he is the good old cartoons and the show Duck Dodgers. I did draw alot about Marvin from the Duck Dodger's show, but you don't have to know anything about it in order to understand and enjoy the story.
Disclaimer: I own a Gir plushy and a Marvin figurine. Does that count for anything? No? Well, then I don't own Invader Zim or the Looney Tunes. Shucks.
"Warning! Unidentified space craft heading into earth's orbit!"
Zim turned away from his console in surprise, dropping a laser in the process. He should really have known better than to get so distracted in his work. Someone a little less harmless than his computer could have snuck up on him, such as Gir with a radioactive taco. "Whaaat?" he yelled furiously at Computer, "Who is it?"
There was a short silence, "It's . . . uh, unidentified," the computer repeated.
Zim hummed in thought, brainstorming on whether or not he was expecting visitors. A moment of paranoia made him consider on whether it was Sizz-Lor coming back to drag him to Foodcourtia again, but his mind quickly repressed the memories before they could fully form, "Could it be that the Tallests have sent me weapons or supplies? Perhaps they forgot to inform me of its arrival."
"No," the computer said bluntly, "Our new scanners would have picked up on any Irken ship signatures."
He practically growled in frustration. Unless by some miracle, the craft was some wayward snack supply ship, he wasn't going to treat it with any benevolence.
"How long until it reaches orbit?"
"No more than thirty seconds."
Zim went to the monitor and pulled up camera feeds from the moon. The screen showed a triangular shaped ship heading toward the planet.
Why were they here? Could they be meaning to land on earth and interfere with his plans, or perhaps something as innocent as using the earth's orbit to slingshot and save ship energy?
Zim quickly tossed the idea out of his head. If that were the case, they could have used any other planet in the galaxy instead of the only one that had life on it. Besides, he noticed, the ship had just entered orbit and wasn't slowing down.
"Hail the ship!"
The computer seemed to sigh, "Fine."
Not seconds later, a video feed appeared on the main screen and Zim was met with the sight of the newcomer.
The first thing that ran through his mind was the question on why a cleaning drone was piloting a ship. The second, was that this pilot was definitely not irken. And third, clearly wasn't holding any snacks that would indicate a captain taking full advantage of the fact that he was carrying a shipment of goodies.
Any other thoughts of disapproval were interrupted by the alien's voice, "Greetings earthling."
Zim sputtered in rage, "Er-earthling! How dare you speak to an irken invader that way!"
"Irken?"
From what Zim could tell from the limited amount of facial features, the other looked surprised for a moment, then to an expression of sudden clarity, "My apologies for the misassumption. My monitor is malfunctioning at the moment and it's hard to determine appearances when everything is in black and white. But what is an irken doing on this planet?"
Deciding to forgive the other for an understandable case of the stupid, Zim answered, "I am Invader Zim, and I was sent to conquer this planet. Now tell me, who are you and why are you in irken territory?"
"I'm Marvin from the planet Mars. However, if what you say is tru-"
"Wait wait wait waaaait," Zim shook his head, "You can't be from Mars. You look nothing like aliens from there! Not to mention that I destroyed the planet ages ago!"
Marvin had that bewildered expression again, this one lasting longer than before, and Zim briefly relished in his ability to impress others with his amazing skills. Wait, was that a hint of anger in the alien's expression? It was hard to tell.
"I see . . . So that's what happened to it," the other said slowly, "However, my planet is the original Mars. That other one was just an experiment, and a backup that another species chose to inhabit."
Zim blinked. Planet backups weren't a new idea. There were a handful of worlds that wished or needed to create one, but to undertake such a thing was unheard of. No matter what manner they were created with, the procedures were always too complex and on such large scale that it was practically impossible. Except for the Irkens, undoubtedly, but why make one when you can just take one?
"Suuuuure," Zim drawled, "Then where's your planet?"
"I cannot give such information."
In other words, he had no proof, "So why are you here anyway? The monkeys on this planet don't know about aliens, but if your ship gets closer, then they're going to notice. "
"Do not worry, I am going to park the ship on the dark side of the moon until preparations are complete," Marvin explained, "Before that happens, I suggest you move off planet."
Zim could hardly believe the audacity of the alien, "Move? I'm not going anywhere! This is where I was stationed and I'm not leaving because some cleaning drone with no authority told me to!"
Marvin fumed, "Now see here Irken, you are making me very, very angry. I merely gave a suggestion. If you wish to stay on the planet when I blow it up, then by all means do so."
"Blow it up?" Zim shouted in disbelief, "You can't do that!"
The alien further affirmed, "I can and will. So if you have any sense, you will move."
"I've been placed here and I'm not going to move, so if you blow up the world, it will be nothing short of a declaration of war!"
Marvin gave him a hardened gaze, "Unless, of course, you decide to move right before the planet explodes. If not, then it could take months for your people to find out what happened, and by the time they do, they will have lost interest in the affair or realized that the loss of one person isn't worth going to war."
Zim grinded his teeth with a growl. It was true. No matter how skillful and invaluable he was to the empire, he was still just one irken. If he was killed then there wouldn't be any repercussions on the ones responsible when, or if, the information arrived. The empire wouldn't risk further loss by tossing themselves in a war against another planet over something so minuscule.
Of course, the fact that this planet still existed was debatable, but it didn't change the fact that Marvin planned to blow up Earth with himself on it. Zim had no misgivings of this so-called martian's capabilities of destroying the planet, and would do so unless Zim did something.
"But there are many more irkens here!" Zim bluffed, "Loads of us! The empire won't give you any mercy if you kill us all and destroy our operation! Why do you want to destroy this planet anyway? Sure, it's a horrid dirt-ball of a planet, but it's far too primitive to cause trouble."
The martian looked skeptical, "True or not, remove yourself and any others from the area. If you don't, rest assured that Mars is more than capable of going to war. It's nothing personal, it's just that my queen has commanded this planet's destruction and it also blocks the view of Venus."
"Well don't think that you'll be able to do anything to this planet while Zim is here!" he declared, "The only one who's allowed to destroy earth is me! I won't let you snatch away my job and my glory. Surrender now or I will unleash horrible doom upon you and your ship!"
He didn't spend years of toil on this filthy backwater planet, only to return to the Empire as a failure. If he went there without success, they would likely banish or kill him. After all, if a task was too difficult for an irken to undertake, then he would die in action. To go back without carrying out orders to completion was the sign of a lazy and incompetent irken, and nothing incompetent stayed in the Empire for long.
Marvin ignored most of what he said, almost as if he heard these things frequently, "You say you wish to destroy Earth? I thought you wanted to conquer it."
"I am to destroy it if the planet proves to be a serious threat to the Empire. Otherwise I must conquer it and prepare it for the arrival of the Tallests for them to decide what to do with it. Things I cannot do if you blow it up! Now surrender! If not, I'll unleash my robot on you," he said with such seriousness, you would have thought that the robot must have been some frightening behemoth with the ability to deatomitize your body just be being in its presence.
"Do what you will Irken," Marvin said indifferently, "but you should make arrangements for your departure. Once you leave, you will not be able to return."
The transmission was cut with an ominous beep.
Zim snorted, "Hah! The fool thinks that he is mightier than the Almighty Zim? I will show him who has the mightiest might!"
He dashed down the corridors of his base, collecting what he deemed necessary and giving Computer specific instructions to guard the base. The martian didn't tell him when he planned to have his demolition, only that he had preparations to make, so Zim had to hope he wasn't wasting time by gathering items. It wouldn't do any good for the planet to crumble beneath his feet getting that extra thing when he should have been clawing the alien's eyes out.
Despite his hurry, he took his time with making sure his pak was battle ready, less DVD burning capabilities and more lasers. He was sure he would come out victorious, but the drone's ship was large. Big enough to carry many less-than-friendly additions.
Striding through the base, looking for anything else that may be useful, and half-heartedly looking for Gir, he wondered if he really should bring the robot. Gir could be handy on rare occasions, since his destructive nature was sometimes what Zim needed, but even still, he was more of a hindrance.
After another moment of debate, Zim decided that it would be best if Gir stayed at the base. He'd probably blow it up in the process, but so long as the earth was intact, he could build another. Besides, he needed someone at his base to (potentially) distract Dib long enough to keep him from taking pictures, or stealing his inventions, like his animal translator or his irken-style waffle mix.
Maybe he should take some for a sna-
No. He wouldn't have time for it. As a matter of fact, he'd better go soon. Maybe the alien thought he would take a while to get there, if that was the case, it would certainly be easier.
He'd just have victory waffles when he got back.
Before he left, he had to make sure to hail the Tallests, to give them a report on the situation. He half-heartedly sent out the signal, but as usual, the only transmission that came through was the words: "Out to lunch".
oOo
Marvin cut the transmission and turned to his dog, K-9, "What do you think of that, hm? The sheer gall. I suppose it's no matter. When he comes he will realize that martians are a force to be reckoned with."
K-9 nodded quickly while Marvin entered in the codes to warm up the systems he needed. It would take a couple of hours before they were ready, and then a few more to configure the settings.
Sensing that Marvin's business was done, K-9 set his head on his master's lap. Marvin patted him absent-mindedly.
Marvin did worry on the fact that irkens had reached this solar system. Of course, Mars had its share of conquest, but irkens were a very serious matter. He wasn't very familiar with their species since they were located very far away in the universe, but being a large threat, he knew of them somewhat. It was an incredible distance for one to have come to so far, something that he wasn't expecting in the least before he realized that the creature was, in fact, irken. Usually when one came across an irken, it was a low caste individual or a criminal that had escaped the Empire.
He supposed that it was foolish to offer mercy to the irken and advise him to leave. While it wasn't definite if more irkens would come if Zim returned to his planet, it wasn't something that should be given the chance to occur.
He realized that if he didn't detain or exterminate this Zim, and the irkens decided to further extend their power, they could easily spread to this galaxy like a plague. While it was true when he said that martians were very capable of warfare, he wouldn't allow an unnecessary war to happen if Irk decided to destroy his planet. Perhaps he should interrogate the irken and find out more about the intentions of his superiors.
With this thought, he put his centurion robots on alert and calibrated his ship for battle. He spent the rest of his time fiddling with his controls and making sure that everything ran smoothly, K-9 still lazing on him.
After a surprisingly short timeframe of less than an hour, Marvin's sensors showed that something had hit his force field. The puzzling thing was, there was no ship in sight.
oOo
He could see the ship. It hovered behind the moon, following its orbit so it remained hidden to the earthlings.
From what the scanners at his base indicated, it was big, but looking at it now, Zim knew that the scanners weren't really able to convey how big it was. It wasn't mother ship sized, but it could easily transport an army, supplies, and more.
Zim frowned, his console indicated that the motion sensors were picking up something.
From inside the ship.
He turned his head so fast that something popped. He peeked out from behind his seat, antenna lowered. He wasn't anywhere close to the martian's ship, so he shouldn't be expecting anything dangerous for some time. Unless the alien was more advanced than he thought. Although, it could just be something from earth that accidentally wiggled its way into his ship. Maybe a cricket or a rodent.
He felt the pressure change on the other side of the seat. He stiffened.
Spinning quickly, he pulled free the first weapon his hand came in contact with and aimed it at the intruder while his other hand shot forward and gripped the being with a bruising force.
He was met with a pair of cerulean eyes.
A loud squeal met his antenna, "You BOINGY, mastah?"
"Gir!" Zim snapped, surprise quickly turning to anger, "What are you doing here? I thought you were at the base!" He shoved the little robot off the seat and Gir hit the floor with a loud clunk.
The android's constant joyous grin momentarily became a pout, but quickly returned and was reinforced, "I was nappin with my turtle, see?" Gir pulled out a brown turtle from hammerspace and presented it to his master, the small creature waving it's feet in vain as it met air.
"I . . . see," Zim said with a sigh, "Alright, if you're going to be here you might as well do something useful."
Gir nodded his head fiercely, practically bouncing with giddiness.
"Go, uh . . . stare at that wall," Zim pointed to the wall behind Gir that was barely two feet away. The insane robot leapt to it, spreading his arms on it like a large embrace. The squirming turtle didn't seem to care much for the group hug.
"We's gonna be best friends!"
The order might not be considered as very helpful, but he'd been trying different commands on Gir to see if he would react ideally. Telling Gir not to do things that Zim really wanted him to do worked a lot better than telling him to actually do things. However, it wasn't foolproof and he found that distracting the robot with inane things sometimes worked. Zim hoped that he would be able to find a way to make Gir always listen to him, but he doubted that such a thing existed. In fact, he was currently researching to see if there was some scientific law that made this impossible. Zim did know though, that if it did happen, the universe would break.
Seated back at the control, the martian ship loomed ahead of him, larger than before. Zim's ship was small and despite the decrease in distance, he knew that unless the martian had some sophisticated technology, if he was spotted, his ship could easily be passed on as space debris.
Satisfied with the evaluation, he sharply turned his voot toward the moon. The ship disappeared from his view as Zim flew to the moon's lighter side. He had no worries about discovery since the only thing that could possibly spot him would be a large telescope, and then only for an instant.
He slipped beneath the moon. The martian likely suspected him to come up from below, but it was the better option.
When he spotted the large ship again, Zim flew at full speed, making a dash for the underside of the ship. As he got closer and the alien's ship wasn't just hovering but looming above him, his hands made a mad surge of movement over the controls, activating all kinds of different programs aimed at the ship before him in order to analyze as much as possible now that they were in range.
It was when he had gotten many reports saying that everything was in the clear and he was about a quarter of a mile from the ship that a last report came in saying that there was some kind of energy surrounding the ship.
Zim tried to stop the cruiser. He managed to turn it with some success, but he was going too fast.
BAAAZUMP! KRSHH-PSH!
His ship ricocheted violently from the impact. The windshield had crumpled in like paper while the hull got some nasty dents and tears.
Zim knew that he should be grateful for the fact the ship didn't get vaporized from the force field, but all he could bear to think about was the fact that it felt like every bone in his body was crushed.
"Master!" Zim heard the alarmed tone of Gir. If he was in his normal state, he might have found the tone almost endearing, but he was too busy focused on the fact that he had a terrible headache and his spine felt like someone had tried to bend him with a pretzel in mind.
"Gir?" Zim said from the floor of the voot, where the impact had thrown him.
The clang of metal footsteps was heard and Gir came into view, his chest plate cracked and body littered with dents. The turtle was clutched tightly in his arms, hidden deep within its shell.
"Need hug?" Gir offered.
"No," he said flatly, hugging was the last thing he wanted, "Gir, tell me, do I look like a pretzel?"
If Zim didn't think that he probably had a concussion, he would have thought that Gir actually seemed to think about his answer, "Do I get a prize if I say no?"
Zim might have laughed, using the excuse of brain damage, if Gir didn't soon after state, "You're eye got broke-ed though."
So that's why everything looked weird, "Damn eye hasn't stayed in properly since the first time it came out. Gir, check the status of the ship, see if you can move it, and keep a look outside and tell me if you see anything."
Gir briefly turned red and saluted, "Yes, my master!" He immediately pushed the window back in place and operated the console, proving to Zim that today was going to be one of those rare days.
Zim wiggled his hands, feet, and antenna, and was deeply annoyed to find that his left arm was broken and his antenna not moving as they should. Done with his assessment, he took no time shoving his eye back in place with a sickening squelch. He rose to his feet as quickly as his body would allow.
Wobbling slightly and using the far wall for support, he managed to make it to his feet without any mishaps, bones groaning and popping in complaint. His spine wasn't broken, but he wouldn't be surprised if it was cracked or at least bruised, but maybe a rib was busted. He noticed that he seemed to be bleeding somewhere from his head, but he wasn't sure where.
Medical attention could wait till later though, he didn't feel the cruiser moving and if they didn't move soon, they were going to get captured. He briefly wondered how the alien got ahold of shielding technology. What most had now was a far cry from what he hit. He should know, he used to research it when he was a scientist.
He shook his head to clear it, but it only succeeded in making him dizzy. Doing it to clear your head was pretty stupid anyway, seeing that irkens had most of their mind in their pak, but he supposed that he must have picked it up from watching the humans.
He turned to Gir, "How's the-," he started, but paused at the sight of half a dozen robots filling up the view from the window.
Zim said distantly, "Gir, I told you tell me if you saw anything."
Gir giggled as he waved at the robots outside, "Robots aren't things!" he declared.
Yes, Zim's a tough cookie. It's canon. You don't see Dib losing eyeballs, but Zim can take it. If he can break his spine and be able to walk by the next episode, then he can afford to get a little beaten up. Overall, I think I really like doing stuff with action. I've never really done it before, but man is it fun! Usually, I don't make a chapter much larger than 2,000 words, but this is at least seventy-five percent larger. It's easier when your listening to epic music like Two Steps from Hell, Clint Mansell, and E.S. Posthumus. Awesome stuff.
Tell me if you find any plot holes or grammar errors. Also, this is going to be a fairly short story, so tell me if you find it good and interesting, because I may consider writing a sequel or something. :D Maybe you can refer to me some epic battle music to help my muse, hm?
Merry Christmas! I'll have the next (and possibly last) chapter out soon!