A/N: First story ever written. I was so excited to post it that I didn't proofread it. I promise, I will soon. Personally, I don't usually read OC fanfics, so I totally understand if you don't want to read one either!
-Syd
They were hitting and brutalizing me beyond repair. I knew they wanted to be sure no one could want me after this. I was sure I wanted no one after this. I had passed in and out of consciousness for the past 3 days, but I knew it was coming to an end as they approached me with letter. Eris, my brother, looked at me with a wicked sense of triumph as he placed the letter on my abdomen. He positioned a nail on top of it and I saw him swing a hammer down, effectively nailing their message to me. The pain…
I awoke gasping. I sat up in the darkness and reached for my lamp. Another nightmare. I could still feel the pain of betrayal and the humiliation of the brutalizing. I reached for my lamp and touched a person instead. I retracted my hand quickly. What happened last night?
I heard a shift and a groan. As my eyes adjusted, I was able to make out shining golden hair on the body next to me. Flashes of memory came quickly. Long, blonde hair. A red dress. Full hips. Sensuous lips.
That's right, I went out drinking in Velaris last night. I let her talk me into coming back to her place. I allowed Mor to bring me here. Was my dream of her experience? Eris was certainly that cruel.
The panic felt surged through me again and I was overcome with nausea. I climbed out of bed quietly and went for the door, yearning for fresh air. The panic increased when I stepped into the dark hallway, unsure of where to go. I fought hyperventilation and stumbled through two long hallways before realizing I wasn't in a house. I was in a palace.
I heard footsteps and looked up to see a man with something large on his back. Wings, maybe? He was shrouded in mist. I backed away. What sort of place was this? I knew of no palaces in the City of Starlight.
He continually approached me. I felt no malice, only curiosity and concern. "What do you need?" he asked, his voice as deep as I expected for someone accompanied by mist.
"Air," I rasped.
He nodded and then slipped an arm around my neck and one behind my legs and unfurled his wings. He glided through a few more passages and then stepped out onto a balcony. He spread his wings and stepped off of the edge.
Shocked, but already panicked, I said nothing.
"Breathe," he gently commanded as he held me in the sky. There was something primal about the way my body responded to his command, relaxing immediately. It knew threat had been evaded.
The cool night air of the Night Court filled my lungs effortlessly sending relief flooding through my veins. I exhaled and took another deep breath. He was slowly flying us through the nearby mountains. I took a moment to look up at the full moon in wonder. I had never been this close to it before. We passed a snowcapped mountain and I shivered as my surroundings caught up to me. I realized I was only wearing a flimsy gauze nightgown Mor lent me. It was entirely see-through. I removed one of my arms from his neck and crossed my chest. I felt his amusement, but his face betrayed nothing.
"I'll land for a moment and then take you back. I'm sorry, you must be freezing," he said kindly. "I'll admit, I didn't think this through."
"So it's not customary in the Night Court to take panicked women flying in the night?" I asked.
A smile cracked on the corner of his mouth. "Our customs are unusual, but not that strange," he replied. He landed on a flat of land near one of the mountain tops, presumably to let his wings rest. He placed me gently on the ground.
Maybe it was the unexpected absence of my body heat, but I saw him shiver.
I rubbed my hands together and ignited a flame in one of my palms. He took a step back and I felt his spike of uncertainty. I felt his guard go up like the recently restored wall of Prythian.
"Please, do not be afraid. I don't use my gifts unkindly. It is only my intention to return the favor and provide some comfort." He said nothing, but I knew he was searching my eyes for truth. "Warmth," I clarified. His mist, gone while flying, returned and pooled around his ears. "What do the shadows tell you?" I asked him.
He turned away and gazed toward the moon. "A great many things," he said finally, "but not often what I am searching to hear."
I didn't know how to respond to that, so I too, turned my gaze to the moon. After a few minutes, I warmed the Earth beneath and around me and took a seat on the ground. My companion curled up his wings and sat next to me, without looking in my direction or saying a word. Though he wasn't reaching out to me in any way, I felt a stronger connection to him than I felt toward most others. It's easy to feel like you know others well when you can feel their emotions, but this man, I felt a great history of pain from him, but I felt like I didn't know him at all, and somehow, we were the same. It was the most confused I had ever met meeting someone new.
Finally, he spoke, "Are you a daughter of the Autumn Court, then?"
"I'm a daughter of Beron, but not really a daughter of the Court," I replied.
"Beron has no daughters," he said resolutely.
I couldn't help but laugh at this man who was certain of what his shadows must have been whispering to him. "Forgive me, new friend, but I beg to differ."
"We aren't friends," he said.
I don't know why, but my breath hitched at those words. I knew he was right. We didn't know each other, but his dismissal felt painful.
Almost as if he felt the sharp sting of pain of his words, he amended his statement, "you and I are definitely something, but this is not a friendship."
So he did feel the connection, too then. I felt some sense of relief from him, but also a large wave of confusion and pain. Who was this man who has endured such pain? He looked to be only about twenty and five years old. In my two hundred years, I had felt little like it. Not even from Beron's wife, who was always wrapped in sorrow.
"Should I take you back? Were you with Mor tonight?"
There was some pain in the way he said Mor's name, but I didn't know if I was feeling it or he was.
"I doubt she'll miss me. She seemed to sleep soundly," I said. My words were casual, but I felt a small sprig of jealousy that I knew was from him.
Finally, I asked the obvious questions. "Who are you?" and "What is this?" Though I had a feeling that I already knew and the answers were the closely related.
He seemed to consider his words before responding. I got the feeling that he did that frequently, as if he was used to his words carrying power and he couldn't give them away freely.
"My name is Azriel. You named my shadows earlier, I am a shadowsinger. I serve the High Lord of the Night Court. What this is, I don't know for sure and I am afraid to guess."
With such apparent pain in this man's past, I understood hesitation. I, however, was not afraid. "I am Seren Vanserra. I shared with you my fire, but there is no name that I know of for my extended abilities, but I believe that I am your mate."
I heard his sharp intake of breath and felt his denial before it was voiced. "You can't be. That can't be what this is."
I doubled forward, feeling his pain and mine from his rejection. It was a dagger to my abdomen, like Eris's nail to Mor's. It took a great deal of energy, but I stood and looked at the man on the ground, who was staring at the moon.
"Azriel, shadowsinger of the Night Court, I AM your mate and you will not deny it. You do not have to be with me in any way. You do not have to love me. I can leave you now and never return if that is your wish, but you will not deny what this bond is, even if we never see each other again, I am your mate." His anguished eyes met mine and I softened. He stood and faced me. I reached for his hands, but he put them behind him and took a step back.
"Why do you deny me?" I asked, trying to hide my hurt, but he had to know it was there. He had to know what it was to reject a mate.
"I do not know you, Seren Vanserra. You are the daughter of an enemy."
I felt those words for the excuse that they were. "I know that is true, but that is no true explanation. Why do you deny me?"
He turned from my eyes. I had to stare at his wings while he said, "For so long, so, so long, I imagined it was another. I saw Mor everyday and knew that if we were to be intimate, the bond would snap into place. I love her and have loved her for close to five hundred years."
My heart snapped a bit in my chest, but I was able to ask, "and she took me home from a bar tonight. Has she ever returned those affections?"
"I thought-" he said and faltered before continuing, "I thought the pain of her past, what your family did to her," he said savagely, "held her back from opening up to me. I thought she denied it from fear. I never pushed it because I knew this bastard-born nobody wasn't good enough for her anyway."
"Then she didn't lead you on?" I asked for clarification.
"She showed love in a family way, but I believe she took extra steps to ensure I had no hope for us. Again, I thought it was from fear."
I felt his understanding begin to slide into place and his love for Mor begin to shift. It was a strong love. One that Azriel, if he got over, would take time, but maybe it could be redirected with a clear perspective."
"This connection, to you, Seren, is different. If Mor felt an inkling of what I feel toward you now, toward me, I have little doubt that we would have crossed paths more deeply in our five hundred years."
"The mating bond is strange," I said. "I know what it is though, to live with mates who are not suited. Whatever you feel toward me, though ancient and Cauldron-blessed, is subject to change. It could be wholesome or volatile. I would like to see you again, Azriel."
My words caused him to feel trepidation, but I felt a small bit of excitement and joy. He turned and looked at me again. I felt his confusion at the joy and excitement. I held onto his feeling of joy and said, "I mean what I said earlier, consider it a promise. If you want me to leave and never return, I will. I will not push this bond on you. However, if you want to see me again, too, I'm willing to spend time getting to know you. I know you love another and I will not hold on to the hope that you could one day love me, for I may not even love you, especially if you snore," he cracked that smile at the corner of his mouth again and I continued, "but I would like you in my life, Azriel. If the Cauldron considers us equals," for that's what mates are, "I can imagine that we would make good friends."
He said nothing, but reached for my hand. I placed my hand in his and he rubbed his other palm across the back of my hand. He met my eyes and I felt no small amount of wonder. It might have been his, it might have been my wonder at the potential magnificence of this bond.
"You're too gracious already, Seren. I will be honest with you because I know what is it to hope and wait for someone. Though I wanted Mor, I also thought I would be deeply alone for my existence. I have a tight-knit family of the Night Court, but there are things about me that I cannot share with them, that I feel you will understand. There is a primal part of me that longs for this connection that I feel to you. I thought it was for Mor, but maybe, I wanted because I knew that this type of connection was possible, but I hadn't found you yet. I feel like you're what I've been looking for with Mor for so long. I don't want to be unfair to you, though. I can't presume to truly know you or what you want. I would be honored, honored to get to know you. I cannot deny that I know your words are true. You are-" he trailed off. I felt him squeeze my hand tighter, as if he gained some resolve, "you are my mate."
I sniffed, realizing that a tear was falling down my cheek. Azriel wiped it with his thumb, and left his hand under my chin. He leaned forward and rested his forehead on mine.
I felt a sense of contentment and peace. I didn't know if it was mine or his, but I believed that it was radiating from both of us.
We stood there, on the side of that mountain, for an immeasurable amount of time. My hand in his, his forehead on mine, just silently breathing and feeling. Reveling in peace and hope. Neither of us felt the wind or the chill. We only felt the presence of each other in silence.
I want to continue! I want to see Mor's reaction and the family's reaction to Azriel's mating.
