Uh… This is my first Harry Potter-related fanfic. –jittery and nervous- While it might look like I'm fairly confident at this sort of thing, I was actually a member of ff.n for a good half year before I felt confident enough to post any of my Death Note fanfics.

Well… Since I have NOT read Deathly Hallows, I don't feel confident enough to write a serious one. So, instead I have this crack one.

It deals with the Marauders.

Because… uh… DUH. They're the best thing about the entire book series. At least, in my opinion. I think those four are very… erm… unique… And that makes them good material for stories.

Huzzah. Sort-of crack. For now.

Sirius x Remus. Just because.

- Cake-chan

P.S. AS AN EDIT: I happened to buy Deathly Hallows and read it a week ago, a good week and a half after writing this, so expect some serious ones. Maybe.

"Moony!"

Remus turned around, eyes searching for the source of his name. There was a rustle in the tree above him. He took a step back, unsure of what would pop out. Tousled black hair tumbled down first, followed by a grinning face, arms, torso. Startled, Remus nearly jumped straight out of his socks.

"Ugh! Sirius, don't do that!"

Sirius continued dangling off the branch with his legs, and a second later his robes fell down over his face. Remus laughed and Sirius fell down, trying his best to smooth his robes down to a more modest length.

As Sirius dusted himself off, he gave a wry grin. "You ready for this afternoon, mate?"

"Yes. Prongs says we'll get quite a haul."

"Yeah. As long as Snivellus doesn't interfere."

He gave Remus a sour look, yanked down on his hair as much as he could, trying out his best impression of Severus. "Oh dear…" He made his voice low, cracking, and very nasally. "I can't possibly let them go out and have fun. That would make me the only one not having fun. We can't have that now, can we?"

"Padfoot! Moony! Over here!"

James was walking over, smooth and confident as always. Peter trailed right behind him, looking very distraught and in awe all at once. James waved and Sirius ran over, giving him a big hug, looking very much like an excited puppy.

Remus just rolled his eyes and followed him. Peter gave a little wave at him and hid behind James. Sirius just laughed. "Honestly, Wormtail! You've known us for how long now?! You're hardly entitled to be shy!"

"I-I'm sorry. I just-"

"Come on, Sirius. Why don't you leave him alone? He's just a timid person."

Peter blushed profusely, glad Remus was sticking up for him. Sirius just made a face at Remus, making a motion with his hand that was supposed to imitate Remus's nagging. After his hand motion, he simply stuck his tongue out and turned to James.

"James! When do we get the plan in motion??"

James just put a finger over his lips, pointing with his eyes at someone behind them. He lowered his voice, smiling a bit and relishing the thrill of the soon-to-be chase. "Snivellus is onto us. I say we split up and meet back up at the common room. Grease-face can't follow us in there."

Sirius grinned and pretended to be laughing at a joke before lowering his voice as well, speaking through his teeth. "He's really only after you, Prongs. We'll meet back up at the common room like you said. You should take Wormtail with you, just in case Snivellus tries anything like yesterday."

"I don't need back-up or anything. I can take him. You worry too much."

Remus took a step towards them, voice as low as there. "But Sirius is right, Prongs. Yesterday he nearly sent you to the infirmary. What if he was just testing out a spell and is planning to use it to its full potential today? It's better to be safe than sorry."

James sighed and glanced at Peter irritably. He thought he'd be just fine on his own, but neither Sirius nor Remus would let him hear the end of it. Besides, Peter wasn't the fastest boy alive. He could always just lose Peter if he really felt like taking Snape on. Peter wouldn't see a problem with it, seeing as how he worshipped the ground he walked on.

"… Alright… We'll do that. Come on Peter. Well, mates, let's have fun." He pushed the glasses up to the bridge of his nose and gave a lopsided grin in Snape's direction. He gave Remus and Sirius a push and yelled, "Scatter!"

Before Remus had time to object, James yelled, "Accio Broom!" and his broom came shooting into his hand. He shoved Peter onto it and kicked it, causing the poor thing to go shooting off in the direction of Hogmeade with a very flustered Peter riding it.

Remus was nearly knocked over by the current of air, but Sirius managed to steady the gentle lycanthrope and they both went dashing towards the castle.

Remus was very, very upset, and as they were running back, he managed to shout a thing or two while wearing a very disgruntled look on his face.

"Why, that idiot! He knows it's dangerous, but no! He just had to- And what about Wormtail?! He's flying who knows where and we all know he's absolutely dreadful on a broom! But Prongs doesn't care, of course! If Wormtail dies… or something-"

"Moony, Moony, Moony. You can't blame Prongs for being himself. You can't honestly say that you didn't think this would happen. He hates being babied. You know that, I know that, Peter knows that. Hell, even Snivellus probably knows that!"

It didn't take long before they were in the Gryffindor common room, completely alone. For one reason or another, no one was there. They couldn't even hear the girls up in their dorms, giggling like mad, like they usually were.

Remus sat down in one of the chairs by the fire, sighing and still looking peeved. Sirius leaned on the chair and grinned at him. "So, Remus, why can't you just call me Padfoot like everyone else? Well, Like Prongs and Wormtail."

Remus glanced at him, clearing his throat. "Why? Because Padfoot just doesn't sound as good."

"Yeah, well… Wormtail sounds ridiculous, but you still call Peter that. Do you not feel comfortable around me enough to call me by my nickname?"

"Don't be absurd, Si- Padfoot."

He glanced up at Sirius, but Sirius was deep in thought. Contemplating, calculating. Oh, if only Sirius looked like that more often. Instead, he was stuck with a dog-person that was too energetic. It wasn't like he didn't like him or anything, but rather he probably liked Sirius a bit too much.

"Hmmm… Could it be…that you…like me, Remus?"

Sirius was grinning when Remus tensed and looked up at him, lips tight in a line. And that was all Sirius needed to see to know if he was right or not. He stifled a laugh, drumming his fingers on the seat. Then, he bent over the arm of the chair and gave Remus a quick peck on the lips.

Remus's face turned bright red and the portrait hole swung open. Peter stumbled in, sporting a wet spot in between his legs. He looked miserable, carrying James's broom while the aforementioned Marauder came sauntering in, looking highly amused.

"Padfoot, you won't believe it! Just a moment ago, Peter wet himself while he was flying over Snivellus!" They both burst out into obscene laughter, Sirius soon becoming red in the face from laughing so hard.

Remus glanced over at Peter, who looked as if he were about to cry. Still blushing, he gave Peter an affectionate pat on the shoulder. Peter looked somewhat relieved, until looking at Remus's face.

"Moony… are you feeling okay? Your face is all red."

Sirius and James turned around, a wry grin still gracing Sirius's lips. James bent down a bit and put his hand on Remus's forehead. "That's weird. Your period's not schedule for another week… Hmmm… And your face is burning up."

Sirius grinned even wider, saying- a bit louder than usual-, "Moony, go get some sleep. That run over here probably took a lot out of you." Remus glared a bit at him, noticing how Sirius was trying to stifle a laugh, knowing full well what the problem was.

After a while, he smiled back. "You're right, Sirius. Besides, you needed to study for Potions, right? Why don't you keep me company while I'm bedridden?"

James grinned. "That's a great idea! Peter and I can handle raiding Honeyduke's on our own!"

There was a twisted form of triumph in his smirk, as Remus grabbed Sirius by the sleeve and dragged him off to the boy's dorms for a nice, boring afternoon of studying Sirius's least favorite class. Sirius went red in the face, too steamed to even speak.