"Hermione – what? What are you doing?"
"Reading to you, stupid."
"Honey, you married me. Do you still have any hopes that I'd ever enjoy reading? At all?"
"Of course not; Too bad for you, you've got the Dragon Pox. Which gives you fourteen hours to live. Which gives me fourteen hours to read Hogwarts, a History to you."
"If I have fourteen hours to live, shouldn't we work on building my... ahem, posterity?"
"No, I don't think the world needs more of the likes of you."
"I take that as an insult."
"You were meant to. Now, hold these ropes for me?"
"Ooh, are we putting down the scary book and doing something kinky?"
"Ron, dear, you're 107. Please don't say 'kinky'."
"Is that a no?"
"That's a no."
"So what are you doing with ropes and...wait... — YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT GOING TO — mmrghf!—"
"Yes, sorry about having to tie you up and gag you and all – but see, before you die, I need to prove to you all the times I was right, and you were wrong when you could have been right had you just READ THE DAMN BOOK!"
Here lies Ronald Weasley
Lovingly (or not?) bored to death
May he rest with the knowledge that he need never read again
A/N: I don't even know what to say about this. It's pure lunacy, but it's all I could think of. I secretly think Hermione simply made Ron think he had Dragon Pox in his old age so that she could rattle on about how she was right (blank) many times because of HaH. Too bad she accidentally killed him before she got halfway through third year.